Mr InsaneGuy's Truth or Dare: Kill la Kill Edition
by Mr.InsaneGuy
Summary: After a long hiatus, Mr. InsaneGuy is back at it again. His latest victims being the cast of Kill la Kill. Can they handle the dares? Can they handle the truths? Will Inumuta fall into existential despair when he finds out he's an anime character? You decide!
1. A New Beginning

"This is a story of absolute insanity," said a young man with a brown, tangled mop of hair. He dresses quite casually, worn out blue jeans and a hoodie."Spawned from the boredom of normal, everyday life, me and my associate will torment the lives of…"

"Associate? Bitch, I'm the dominant personality here" said another man, who looked just like the previous man, but had shorter hair and was in casual business attire. He was typing away at a computer screen while also taking the occasional Reddit break in some bland cubicle farm.

"Yeah yeah yeah," the hoodie wearing man replied, "Someone's gotta make money sure, but I'm more you than you are"

"Stop trying to sound deep and ambiguous, your not," the worker said while not breaking his attention from the screen, "I'm only agreeing to this because you won't shut up. We got bored last time though,"

"We burnt out last time, now we have a day job to keep us occupied while we unwind and create"

"You mean glorified shitposting?"

"I'm merely out to amuse myself and hopefully a few others,"

The worker sighed "What's the series? Is it a movie, tv show, game?"

"Kill la kill,"

"Kill la kill," the worker exclaimed in a very hused volume, "The show itself is already nuts, anime fans on are probably nuts. Do you know how much detail needs to go into describing super powered strippers fighting alien yarn? More than a couple paragraphs. Why this show, Bob?"

"We recently finished it. Besides wouldn't this show fit perfectly into the truth or dare genre?"

"Why do they call it truth or dare, they should really just call it Characters from insert franchise here play Saw,"

"What about Saw?" said another man, who just happened to be walking by, " I love those movies"

"Nothing important" the worker replied, "Just some dumb post on Reddit. Almost done for today,"

"Thank Lord for that, today really dragged on. See ya tomorrow Ted,"

And then there was only Ted, the worker. The man with the messy hair vanished.

* * *

It was a wonderful day in Kyoto. The sun was shining the birds were chirping and Mako and Ryuko had just graduated high school. The two friends were making their way over to Satsuki's mansion to celebrate.

"This is amazing," Mako exclaimed, "I can't believe we finally graduated high school. We are now two adult women ready to enter the workforce,"

"So your not thinking about college," Ryuko asked.

"I barely passed this year, I don't think I can handle another 4 years of school. I did way better at Honnouji Academy, I even got a B- one year,"

"Well, Honnouji Academy was a school created with the sole purpose of training an army to fight Ragyo and the life fibers. The curriculum was probably an afterthought,"

"Even though the academy forced us to live in the slums and everyone was always trying to kidnap me and fight you, I really missed going there,"

Ryuko sighed. She remembers the good times they had there and also Senketsu, who had burned away while Ryuko reentered the atmosphere after the final battle with her mother, "In a weird way, I do too, Mako. But that chapter of our lives is over," She pauses for a second, "But like you said, we're adults so lets get wasted,"

"Yay! Wait, aren't we still underaged though,"

"Duh, but your little brother really has good connections. I don't know how that kid does it,"

While Ryuko and Mako ponder that question, oblivious to the truth that Mataro hid several webcams in Ryuko's room which gets plenty of donations from people on the internet, Bob was across town loading up a truck with various brands of alcohol using what can only be described as some kind of telekinesis.

"All right we got the booze in the truck, we have various tools for murder in the cab, um, what else," Bob paused to put his hand on his chin to ponder, "Oh right, the ice cream scooper. How could I forget,"

"What the hell is the ice cream scooper for?" Ted asked from behind Bob, wearing casual attire, but nothing as messy nor wrinkled as Bob.

"Don't worry about it. Once I kill everyone to assert my dominance, they will be transported to the other plane of existence and the games will begin,"

"All right, well, I thought that you should also use these as well," Ted hands Bob a pair of red scissors and a flat, white box.

Bob takes a look inside the box and grins deviously, "Perfect,"

"Perv,"

"Shut up, that's not what I meant. Besides, your the weeb out of the both of us,"

* * *

The two girls arrived at Satsuki's mansion. It was fairly large and eloquent with just about all the bells and whistles that a wealthy person's home could have to offer. While Revocs did go under after that whole incident with their products trying to siphon off of the citizens of Earth and nearly causing the end of the world, Ragyo still had plenty of liquid assets in various bank accounts and since she didn't have time to update her will, nearly all of that money and many other assets, to include the manor, went to Satsuki.

Ryuko rung the doorbell and moments later, Mitsuzo, Satsuki's loyal butler, answered.

"Ah, Ms. Matoi, Ms. Mankanshoku, do you happen to be responsible for sending over 20 cases of hard liquor. Everyone here seems to think you both were responsible,"

"Wow, 20 cases, we didn't need that much,"

"While I must advise that you mustn't drink underaged, You do know that Kiryuin Manor has a fully stocked wine cellar, didn't you?"

Ryuko began to walk on in and make herself at home with Mako following behind her, "I know, but you can't have a graduation party with just wine, or at least I can't,"

"Very well then, Lady Satsuki is in the dining room with the former elite four. A bit of warning however, while Lady Satsuki doesn't mind the delivery, Gamagori very much does,"

"That stickler for the rules, c'mon Mako. Thank you Mitsuzo,"

The two girls make their way over to the dining room where all the cases were sitting. Jakuzure, Imumuta, and Sanageyama were rummaging through the cases to see what all there was while Gamagori was complaining to Satsuki, who had grown out her hair about a foot past shoulder length since the sinking of Honno City.

"This is ridiculous Lady Satsuki, 27 cases of hard liquor! Most of it being above the standard forty percent alcohol by volume!" Gamagori yelled, although knowing Gamagori this was more or less a normal tone of voice and wasn't really a sign of actual aggression.

"Hey, this one is just Everclear," Sanageyama said, "Are they trying to kill us?"

"Don't drink that!"

"I turn 20 next month, who cares. Besides you're not the leader of the disciplinary committee anymore,"

"Quiet," Satsuki asserted, "Gamagori, I honestly don't care if anyone here drinks today. It's a special occasion. I probably would of had wine served anyway. I'm honestly more upset that this was delivered here on someone else's expense,"

"It was obviously Matoi and Mankanshoku!" Gamagori replied.

"While I don't think you're wrong, I do think you are overreacting,"

"I'll say," Ryuko responded as she entered the room.

"Speak of the devil," Gamagori muttered.

"What you don't like to get a little tipsy after a workday," Ryuko replied.

"If I do, I do so responsibly, I don't have more than a bottle in the house at a time. This is madness,"

Mako jumped up onto Gamagori's shoulder in typical Mako style with a bottle of Fireball in one hand.

 _Hallelujah_

"Aw come on Gamagori! Please let us have some. I know we're young but you only graduate high school once and what better way to celebrate. I know there is a time and place for everything and that's college, but there is not a college in Japan that'll accept me because my grades were bad and they don't consider Fight Club to be a legitimate after school club. So I beg of you to go easy on the rules today and have some fun with us. Please, please, please!"

She ended this moment on the ground and on her knees grasping the bottle in both hands up in the air. Gamagori thought it over for a moment, the following decision goes against just about every fiber in his being but infatuation is one hell of a drug, that can make even the most steadfast individuals go back on their principles, so he reluctantly caves in.

"All right, I suppose I'm not the leader of the Disciplinary Committee anymore. I'll turn a blind eye to this today, just drink responsibly,"

"Yay!" Mako exclaimed she opened up the bottle and drank straight out of the bottle, "Very cinnaminny, do you want some Ryuko?"

"Nah, not that stuff," She turns toward the other members of the elite four who have started to crack open the bottles of their choosing, "Got anything stronger?"

"We have Everclear," Sanageyama responded.

"How about Wild Turkey," Jakuzure interjected, "No need to die of alcohol poisoning quite yet. What are you getting Inumuta?"

"Oh, nothing yet," Inumuta answered, "I'm going to go set up the music in the other room before the rest of the guests show up,"

Inumuta leaves to go set up the music for the party while everyone else mingles. Satsuki and Ryuko catch up and begin planning another outing with Mako, while Mako drunkenly bugs Gamagori. Sanageyama and Jakuzure chat amongst themselves until Jakuzure notices Inumuta had been gone for quite a while.

"Don't you all find it odd that Inumuta hasn't gotten the music started yet?" Jakuzure asks.

Everyone stops to realize that very fact, they look to the clock in the room and notice nearly twenty minutes have passed.

"He cracked the Revocs firewall in less time than this," Satsuki replied, "Sanageyama, would you mind checking it out for us?"

"Yes m'lady," Sanageyama answered, "I don't know what I can do to help though,"

Satsuki turns to Ryuko and sighs. "I told them they can stop addressing me so formally, but they don't listen. I suppose that's not a bad thing. I just thought we were over that part of our lives is all,"

Ryuko smiles, "Your starting to get a little rambly there, Sis,"

Satsuki chuckles briefly before regaining composure, "I'd do better with wine,"

Suddenly the screams of Sanageyama are heard echoing down the halls. Deafening cries of bloody murder send fear shivering down the spine of the now beligurent Mako, seemingly sobering her up a bit. Everyone rushes over to the ballroom where the music was going to be set up at. They open the door to find the room dark with the only source of light being a laptop. Ryuko, Satsuki, and Gamagori slowly move forward into the darkness. A few steps into the darkness, where the light of the hallway stops illuminating the room. Ryuko steps down and hears a chilling squishing noise under her one of her feet.

"I found the lightswitch" Mako yells, she flips it on and suddenly the three that were further in the room found themselves in front of the body of Uzu Sanageyama, who had been repeatedly stabbed to death and had his eyeballs scooped out of their sockets with an ice cream scooper that was close by. The first eyeball was in the scooper and after a few seconds of Mako screaming and everyone else trying to get themselves together, with varying degrees of success, Ryuko raises her foot and finds the second eyeball.

"What's wrong Matoi?" Gamagori asks, seemingly the least frightened out of everyone in the room.

Ryuko moves her foot down. "Oh nothing," she replied, obviously disturbed. She had seen dead bodies before but this was just brutal.

"So where is Inumuta?" Satsuki asked, mostly unshaken by the discovery.

Suddenly the laptop screen flickered for a bit, then the image of Inumuta appeared. He had been tied up and surrounding him was several timers and flashing lights that made loud beeping noises.

"This is being broadcasted from a different location inside the house," he shuddered, a stark contrast to the collected stoicism that he was known for, "As you are all talking to me, everyone we know is dead. Nudist Beach, the Mankanshoku's, I saw him cut Mitsuzo in half. Hell, he said he'd kill one of you while watching this,"

Everyone turns around to notice that Jakuzure had somehow been turned into a skeleton and just as this was noticed the bones all fall down into a pile.

"I don't know what he wants, he keeps talking about playing a game or something. Save yourselves," the timers count to zero and the beeping turns into more of a buzz at the same tone, "I'm sorry,"

Suddenly a deafening explosion can be heard on the other side of the manor. The remaining four run to investigate, but are stopped by a man with a red pair of scissors and a white box.

"Are you the asshole you did this?" Ryuko yelled.

"Uh, yeah," Bob said casually.

Gamagori wastes no time in trying to kill the man. "You will pay for your crimes against Lady Satsuki and everyone else you've harmed!"

Bob takes the scissors and in such blinding speed, manages to enlarge them, make a cut around Gamagori's neck and get back into place before Gomagori's body reaches his position. The momentum keeps it going forward while Bob steps aside and the head separated from the body as it falls to the ground.

"I believe these are yours," Bob threw the scissors up into the air and had it land fully enlarged and lodged into the ground by Ryuko's feet. He then tossed the white box over her way. Ryuko glared at Bob, obviously not trusting his gift.

"Go on, I promise this won't kill you. Hell, it'll probably be the silver lining to today,"

Ryuko opens the box and finds her old friend and uniform Senketsu, neatly folded, inside. Senketsu opens its eye.

"Ryuko?"

"Senketsu!" Mako and Satsuki turn to Ryuko in disbelief.

"You have to get out of here Ryuko. We can't beat him,"

"You know me Senketsu, I can't just do that. Besides, what can I even run to? If what Inumuta said was true, everyone's dead,"

"Go on and change, it'll be the closest to fair I can give you," Bob turns around, "I won't peek,"

Ryuko quickly changes into Senketsu and activates Life Fiber Synchronization. She goes through the whole flashy transformation sequence and all that jazz. When she's done, she notices the man with a smoking gun.

"Hey, while you were doing your little slutty transformation thing, I kinda shot your sister and best friend in the head. Hope you don't mind,"

Ryuko looks to her left and right to see Mako and Satsuki dead bodies on the ground, bullet holes in the forehead and blood pooling below them. Blinded with rage, she makes the first move and goes to cut him down with the scissors. Bob throws a small black ball in front of him and as she gets closer to it, the ball begins to pull her in. Soon after, her right hand makes physical contact with the ball and it begins to feel like every atom in her body is ripping apart as the ball sucks her in. All Ryuko and Senketsu could do is scream in pain and despair. Suddenly everything goes black and the pain stops.

* * *

Ryuko is eventually able to open her eyes and the first thing she see is Mako staring back at her. Ryuko waking excites Mako and she goes to hug her best friend. Ryuko sits up and notices she's lying in the ballroom where the battle had just ended

"I'm glad you woke up, Ryuko," Mako exclaimed.

"So, it was just all just a dream?"

"Nope, we all died horribly," Mako gleefully replied.

"That's good… wait, What!"

"Yeah, Mom and Dad got thrown into a woodchipper, Guts was turned inside out, and you wouldn't believe what happened to Mataro,"

"Does this bother you at all?" Ryuko asked in frustration.

"No, we're all fine now,"

"You know we are probably in the afterlife right now,"

"I didn't know the afterlife looked a lot like Satsuki's house,"

"Yeah, that's another thing I find weird," Ryuko looked down to notice that she was still wearing Senketsu, "Did you know anything about that guy before we got sucked into that black hole thing?"

"Not much, only that they managed to revive me and that they were planning on killing you for some game," Senketsu answered.

Ryuko and Mako get up and make their way over to the dining room, where the Mankanshoku family is pigging out on some freshly made dinner, while Satsuki, the Elite Four and the two most prominent members of Nudist Beach are discussing the current situation.

"Hello everybody," A voice said from above. The man who had just killed everyone came floating down onto the large dining room table, "Welcome to Kill la Kill Truth or Dare,"

"Kill la Kill?" Inumuta said in confusion.

"Oh, you all exist to us as a twenty-five episode animated series from Japan. Are you enjoying your sudden onset of existential crisis?"

"No," Inumuta sighed.

"Your welcome,"

"Were we seriously just killed to play spin the bottle?" Jakuzure snarkily asked.

"I get that all the time but no, your wrong. Basically random people from the internet will tell you to do things. You do them, or you die,"

"So, we're playing Saw?" Ryuko asks.

"That's what I keep telling him," Another man walks in, bearing uncanny resemblance to the speaker.

"Anyway, That there is Ted. I am Mr. Insaneguy, you can call me Bob though,"

"What if we don't wanna listen to you," Gamagori yelled.

Bob sighs then snaps his fingers. A fiery circle entraps Gamagori and he suddenly vanishes.

"Where'd he go?" Mako asks in a panic.

"Super Hell,"

"How is that different from regular Hell," Satsuki asked.

"Uh, it's super… thanks for asking," Bob replied, "He should be back next chapter though. Hey Mako, could you be a dear and read off these rules in your crazy spotlight monologue thing you do,"

"Okay," Mako is handed a piece of paper, she reads over it for a moment before she starts

 _Hallelujah_

 **Only a maximum of 10 truths or dares per person, have your top picks at the top of your list because these can be cut depending on review volume.**

 **You can review anyone in the Kill la Kill franchise, anyone that has died can be brought back to life.**

 **Try to keep everything Rated T although we can go to rated M if things get too Kill la kill-y**

 **No song dares, why would I copy and paste lyrics to a song, Bob doesn't get it.**


	2. The Wrath of Little Titties

It had been about one week since Kiryuin Manor was taken over and the cast of Kill la Kill was captured by Bob InsaneGuy. The cast hasn't been allowed to leave ever since the Truth or Dare game started. Some have tried but with a magical barrier entrapping the premises, efforts have been futile. After a few days of trying and no dares coming in, most of the cast just decided to try to momentarily forget about their enslavement and enjoyed the luxuries that Kiryuin Manor had to offer.

The manor was lacking in terms of a gaming room and since Mako and Mataro got on his nerves about being bored all the time, so Inumuta rigged up a bunch of old computers from storage and made a little arcade in the one of the spare rooms. It was nothing fancy by any means, in stark contrast to the manor. They were essential television screens mounted on boxes with a computer that had various retro gaming emulators, but it was enough to satisfy the inhabitants of the manor and it gave Mataro less of a reason to go peeping around on the women so Ryuko could rest easier every time she took a bath.

Speaking of bathes however, if there's one highlight to Kiryuin Manor, it is the bathing room. The room was massive decorated with Roman inspired columns and statues, it was truly magnificent. Ryuko and Mako, and occasionally Jakuzure, would come in toward the end of the evening and simply talk and relax (As much as humanly, given the circumstances). It was around this one week mark when the three of them were sitting in the bath, not really giving much thought to anything and just melting away in the heat of the water, that they realize Satsuki hadn't yet joined them.

"Hey," Mako spoke up, "Ever notice that even though this is Satsuki's mansion, and this is one of the best rooms here, that Satsuki has never come down here for a bath,"

Ryuko thought about the oddly reasonable point Mako brought up. "Your right, I sorta wonder what's up with that. We're obviously not shy about nudity or anything,"

"Maybe Lady Satsuki wants to take a bath by herself when we aren't around," Jakuzure chimed in, "I mean, honestly, being cooped up in this manor with everyone this past week takes a toll on your nerves," Just then, a the suspicious noise of footsteps caught the ear of the young woman, "or at least it's true for me,"

"I think he's leaving, but I'll go yell at him," Ryuko said, noticing the sound also. She got out from the bath, wrapped a towel around herself, grabbed her trusty scissor blade and ran behind the pillar where she heard the noise.

Behind this pillar was little Mataro doing what he does best, or worst, depending on how you look at things. He had been leaving, but Ryuko managed to sneak up on the boy and once she began to yell, he knew he was in trouble.

"Can't I get a week without you being a fucking peeping tom!" Ryuko yelled as she punched him in the back of his head with her free hand, "I thought bringing Mako in here was would be a deterrent, but I guess your creepier than I thought!"

"That's why I was leaving!" Mako cried as he ran away, "I'm sorry!" Unfortunately for him, the boy couldn't run fast enough and found himself being paddled away like a tennis ball in a high stakes game of tennis. The boy was smacked straight through the door and out into the wall of the hallway, leaving a trail of blood as he slid down and a moderate concussion.

"I think that's a new record," Ryuko stated, "I mean, I could hit him further, but then that would kill him. Although… nah,"

Just as Ryuko was fantasizing whacking Mataro's ass to Tokyo. Mitsuzo knocked on the door, or what was remaining of it after Ryuko busted it down just now.

"Excuse me, ladies. Master InsaneGuy wishes to summon everyone to the living room for an announcement. I assume the… festivities are about to be on their way,"

"Damnit," Jakuzure screamed, "You ruined this final moment you little creep," She yelled over to Mataro, but he was too busy dipping in and out of consciousness to register her complaint.

"I do apologize for the inconvenience,"

"Thank you Mitsuzo, we'll be down their in a moment,"

"Would you like me to get the boy some first aid? He's not doing too well,"

"Up to you," Ryuko replied, "He should have learned by now!" She raised her voice at the end, but by this point, Mataro was babbling nonsense and had momentarily lost all higher brain function. Thus making the message pointless, yet again.

* * *

"Ted, this is bad," Bob said.

"Why?" Ted asked in a gargled muffed way while checking his bottom lip for feeling. Pieces of gaze was packed away where his wisdom teeth were.

"I thought a show about super powered strippers cutting off each other's clothes would be more popular among fanfiction readers. So far we only have one review,"

"Told you this was stupid," Ted murmured.

"I don't need to take lip from you, you can't even feel yours,"

"They're technically yours too,"

"Well, In this realm we are separate," Bob paused, "And I didn't decide to get my wisdom teeth pulled,"

"Whatever," Ted mumbled as he turned to walk away, "I'm taking some ibuprofen, you try to stretch this out for as long as possible,"

Just as Ted left the living room, everyone else came pouring in. Most everyone was getting ready for bed, they were mostly in pajama or robes of some sort.

"All right, everyone settle down," Bob started, "So, bad news. I guess you all aren't sexy enough,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Aikuro asked while he began stripping from his bathrobe in a fabulous manner.

"Keep your damn clothes on," Bob sighed, "What I'm trying to say is, I thought sword fighting high school girls in skimpy outfits would be more of a selling point for a truth or dare but so far we've only had one person send anything in. I guess we need to start advertising,"

"So, after this one thing we can go right," Ryuko asked.

"Fuck no," Bob answered, "We are going to do these few dares well and hopefully that will cause a few more people to take notice and review,"

Everyone sighed at Bob's answer. They felt they were never going to get out of what was essentially house arrest.

"Our first dares…" Bob started as he pulled out the notecard.

"You mean only dares," Jakuzure sassed.

Bob paused for a moment, contemplating whether or not to send Nonon to Super Hell already. He skimmed through the notecard that the review had been written on and decided that it'd be for the best if she stayed. He's not over throwing people into Super Hell for a mild sass, but this time he'll pretend like he was.

"...Shut up, no tits," Bob snarked back. This seemed to tick off a very hot-button insecurity deep inside the young woman because she could not stop shaking out of anger.

"Uh, you alright?" Sanageyama asked.

"I'm...fine," Jakuzure snarled.

"Anywho, our dares for the day come from a person by the title of Ac. They write, I haven't seen a Truth or Dare Fanfic in ages, welp here goes some dares I guess…"

"Wait, Fanfic?" Inumuta interjected, "Not only are we just characters in some cartoon. We're in some shotty fan fiction story?"

"You can talk to a therapist about it later," Satsuki sighed, "Let's get this over with,"

"Look who's talkin' Ms. Kiryuin," Bob said as he continued, "First things first, bring Gamagori back from… Super...Hell… Did I not do that?"

"We've been trying to tell you for the past week!" Mako exclaimed.

"Oh well, I'll go get him," Bob opened up a portal on the floor. The portal was a swirling red vortex that smelled of blood, doom, and brimstone. He kneeled down and stuck his hand into the vortex and, lifting with his legs, pulls the behemoth of man out of the portal. The portal closed below his feet.

Gamagori was panting hard. Stripped down to nothing but his underwear. Presumably, sweating from a week in the blistering heat of Super Hell and the torture he had to endure. Everyone gathered closer to see what a man who had gone through such torment would be like; what such a punishment would do to a man's resolve. After a brief pause, Gamagori looked up to the first person he could see, who happened to be Mako, and he began to speak.

"Could I have some water or perhaps Gatorade? That was intense,"

Everyone was surprised by Gamagori's seemingly calm and collected response. Mitsuzo, in accordance to his duties as a butler brought him and cool, refreshing lemon-lime flavored Gatorade bottle. He took the bottle and proceed to drink the entire drink in one chug. One he had finished downing the bottle, he handed the garbage off to Mitsuzo and got up from the ground.

"That was exhausting," Gamagori sighed, "A week straight of non-stop punishment. Kinda got old after day four but not bad. So are we actually starting this game or what?"

"He… he's unfazed!" Bob stuttered, dumbfounded at his nonchalance.

"Guess he's an even bigger masochist than I thought," Ryuko remarked.

"So, what now?" Gamagori demanded.

"Oh right," Bob continued, quickly getting back to his singular notecard, "That was the first one. So now the next dare is for everyone to comment on Uzu's small sword," Bob made air quotes when saying the last word.

Uzu looked at his blade. Comparing it to everyone else's that had there's within eyesight. He noticed nothing abnormal about it, then the actual meaning hit him like a ton of bricks.

"What… you can't be serious?" Uzu stumbled.

"I know I said let's keep our clothes on, but for the sake of the dare…" Bob snapped his fingers and Uzu's pants disappeared. If this were a visual medium, his "sword" would be hidden with all types of angles and objects just like the show more or less.

"It isn't going to be winning any records anytime soon," Ryuko remarked.

"Maybe for world's smallest," Jakuzure snarked.

"What if we gave it a little hat?" Mako asked, "It'd be so adorable,"

"Nudist Beach doesn't judge," Aikuro said.

"You would of had a bad time in Super Hell," Gamagori added.

"If I had what you had, I'd want to go blind too," Inumuta remarked.

"It's small," Satsuki spoke bluntly, "Is this the best that this Ac person has to offer? So juvenile,"

"Let's give Uzu some time for his self-esteem to heal and move on to a truth for Nonon," Bob leans over to the young woman, snickering as he reads aloud, "Does it bother you that you have the smallest bust size out of all the female cast?"

Nonon Jakuzure takes a deep breath. "Plenty of people like small breasts, it's not a big deal,"

"Yeah, yeah sure," Bob doubted, "But does it bother you that yours are smaller than everyone else's,"

"Smaller boobs means no back problems later in life," Nonon huffed. She crossed her arms and turned away from Bob's interrogation.

"How does it feel knowing that you look like your just a couple years older than Mataro with the lack of height to go with those small boobs," Bob questioned.

"Alright! I'm jealous!" Nonon snaped, "Half the reason I hated Ryuko at first was because of how she rocked that kamui. Flapping her tits around and then being all embarrassed about it,"

Bob sat back in one of the recliners and hunched over. "Yes, let the hate flow through you,"

"Then, no offense, but Lady Satsuki pulled out hers too and she just fucking owned it. Like it was no big deal. Then of course the brain dead slacker girl has big knockers too, although it fits the stereotype," She then turned her fit of rage to Bob, "But don't you ever compare me the that little slacker junior piece of shit, GOT IT!" By the end of her rant, the young woman's eye was twitching and she was so mad she simply could think straight.

"On that note, Inumuta," Bob started, "Your dare is to scan all the girls and say all their bust sizes out loud,"

"If you must know," Inumuta sighed. He whipped out a smartphone, tapped on it a little bit and began to read to results, "Ryuko's is 36DD, Lady Satsuki is close behind 34DD, Mako is a bit smaller with a 34C, her mother is slightly larger with 34D, and as for Jakuzure…,"

"Don't you dare," Nonon warned.

"32A,"

At that moment, Nonon jumped up in an attempt to strangle Inumuta but he swiftly avoided it.

"You son of a bitch!"

"Just doing what I was told," Inumuta's phone beeped again and he pulled it out, "And it says here Mr. Mankanshouku has a size of 40D,"

"But I don't wear a bra!" Barazo protested.

"Well, if you did, it'd be a 40D,"

"Satsuki must say the word bitch at the end of every sentence," Bob continued.

"That's ridiculous," Satsuki replied, just then a high voltage shock coursed through her nervous system similar to that of a taser, "What the hell was that?" The shock started again, but it wouldn't stop.

"Say bitch Satsuki! Say it," Ryuko warned.

"Son of a bitch!" Satsuki cried. All of a sudden the electric shock stopped and all was better.

"If you don't end your sentences with bitch, that will continue to happen," Bob warned.

"If it has to be that way… bitch," Satsuki replied.

"Who you callin' a bitch," Bob joked, "I'm kidding. The next dare is for Gamagori to slap all the girls as hard as he can on their faces or their asses,"

"Well, it'd be more respectful to slap them in the faces. As bad as that sounds," Gamagori replied.

"If you don't slap a girl on the ass, you'll…," Bob thought of sending him down to Super Hell again, but that had been ruled out as a punishment, "Well, um, If you had to slap a woman on the ass, who would it be?"

Gamagori's eyes widened. "Is this a dare?"

"No, just curious,"

"Then I have no need to answer,"

Bob sighed and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Mataro's arm falls off and starts to gush blood everywhere.

"My arm!" Mataro yelled, "What the hell did you do to my arm?"

Mr. and Mrs. Mankanshoku tried their hardest to fix their son's sudden amputation, but their back-alley medical technique for fixing the problem was to try to put the arm back on like a lego.

"He, he didn't deserve that," Gamagori stammered.

"Answer the question," Bob demanded.

"But he's just a…,"

Bob snapped his fingers and the other arm came flying off. Mataro panicked more so, at this point, he was almost at death's door. Ryuko, the Mankanshoku's and everyone else could only watch in horror as the room became more and more drenched in his blood. Gamagori had only one option. He went behind Mako, who was beginning to cry, and gave her one good slap in the rear. Mako, flustered in all the extreme emotions of the situation, blushed (or at least as best she could given the circumstances) Mataro's arms were magically reattached by Bob's magic and he soon felt good as new.

"Happy," Gamagori snarled.

"Uh, you got all the other women to slap in the face," Bob reminded him.

"That's easier," He suddenly turned around and smacked Ryuko across the face, leaving a big red mark on her left check.

"Cheap shot… bitch," Satsuki remarked.

"My apologies, Lady Satsuki,"

"Give it your best shot, bitch," Gamagori smacked Satsuki across the face as well. Satsuki accidentally bit down on the inside of her cheek, causing her to draw blood.

"Not bad, Gamagori...bitch," Satsuki complimented.

"Get on with…," Nonon started, but she was interrupted by Gamagori's massive hand slamming up against her relatively tiny face.

"Oh, I guess it's my turn," Sakuyo said.

"You better not hit my wife," Barazo protested. Gamagori smacked Sakuyo in the face and the sound of the slap seemed to intimidate Barazo a little bit because he just let it slide this time.

"Are you happy now, Bob?" Gamagori asked.

"No, because the next dare is for the Elite Four to duke it out to see who can come out on top. I'll give you your Goku outfits now," Bob snapped his fingers and the Elite Four were suddenly wearing their outfits.

"Take it outside, there seems to be plenty of space out back. This will be the last…," Suddenly, Bob's phone rang, "Y'all get started, let me get this," While Bob looked through the phone, the Elite Four all ran outside to try out their uniforms on each other in a battle royale of blood and glory.

"Awesome!" Bob cheered, "We got another dare from somebody else!"

"Ugh," Ryuko groaned, "I thought we were done here,"

"Well, everyone else can go and watch the festivities," Bob announced, "But this truth from GamingChiliHedgehog is for you Ryuko,"

Everyone, with the exception of Ryuko, Mako, and Satsuki, made their way outside to watch the battle unfold and from the sounds of their yelling about their uniforms, the Elite Four's transformations were just beginning.

"All right, what does this person have for me?" Ryuko asked, "Everyone's just about left and I'll tell these two girls here just about anything. C'mon, Bob! What's that Chili Hedgehog got?"

"I wouldn't be so cocky," Senketsu warned.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Mako asked.

"She can hear me now too?" Senketsu exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm letting everyone hear you now. Your welcome. As for you Ryuko, GamingChiliHedgehog wants to know… why you kissed Nui. That's all they got,"

"You mean when I was brainwashed. Look a lot of things happened that I have no idea if they were real or not. I was in a chapel wearing a wedding dress, I killed Mako, I think there was a part where I had a threesome with her and Ragyo which I am going to believe is not real for my own sanity, so kissing Nui was just me acting under the brainwashing. Nothing more,"

Satsuki shuddered at the thought of Ryuko's possible threesome. Upset that she more than likely suffered a similar, if not more disturbing fate than she did, but also relieved that she could hide herself behind the excuse of brainwashing and delusions.

"Well, I kinda want to hear the other side of the story, so just let me grab something real fast," Bob quickly snagged one of Senketsu at the skirt and pulled a loose banshi out.

"Ow! What was that for?" Senketsu screamed.

"Necromancy," Bob answered, but then he stopped himself, "or is reviving a life-fiber infused person like sewing or something," He shrugged off this random thought and moved on to cast a revival spell, by wrapping the banshi around his finger and twirling it around in a methodical manner.

"You can't be serious," Satsuki said. She forgot the magic word and was shocked yet again, "Ah! Bitch!"

"Oh no, I went through a lot of bullshit to kill those bitches, keep them that way," Ryuko demanded.

"When will you all learn that I won't play by your rules," Bob asked. He pointed over in the direction of the battle between the Elite Four and the banshi flew off his finger toward that direction.

The battle with the between the Elite Four was quite the intense scene. Uzu was instantly ganged up on by the other three because he was perceived to be the most threatening if left on his own. Between Nonon's deafening music and a few cheap shots at the eyes, Uzu was about as useful on the battlefield as Helen Keller and was quickly killed off. Just as this happened the banshi made its way to the center of the battleground. The remaining three stopped to see the banshi form into a humanoid figure. This humanoid figure was the newest incarnation of Nui Harime. The three Elite Four members and the rest of the cast was in awe.

Bob made his way to the battleground with the three girls following behind him.

"Timeout," Bob announced, "Since Nui is a female. Inumuta and Gamagori must do their dares,"

"What's happening?" Nui asked,after suddenly being thrust into the light of day once more.

"34B," Inumuta said.

"Oh c'mon!" Nonon yelled from in the air.

"Wait, that's my cup size," Nui exclaimed, "How'd he get that just now?" Just as she asked, she was interrupted by Gamagori's slapping, which he was getting pretty good at by now.

"Oh, you think your some kind of pimp dont'cha," Nui giggled.

"Don't interfere, Nui," Bob insisted, "You were summoned here for a reason. They have a fight to the death to continue with. Once I'm off the field, it's game on,"

Bob took Nui off of the battle ground and the remaining three went at each other yet again. As Bob was taking Nui off the field, she spotted Ryuko and came running joyfully toward her.

"Oh hello, Ryuko," Nui greeted, "Long time, no see," She grinned devilishly at her and looked over to Bob, "So why did you bring me back to life, sir?"

"Well Nui, first off, call me Bob. Second, this is a twisted game of truth or dare that I am hosting against the will of everyone here,"

"Oh, goodie. Sounds exciting,"

"Shut up bitch," Satsuki blurted, "And I actually meant that this time...bitch,"

"Basically, don't do what the dares say, bad things happen," Bob elaborated, "Now Ryuko just got this truth and was asked why she kissed you when she was wearing Junketsu. Now she seems to be under the impression that most of the more, lewd parts of the brainwashing experience was more imagery than reality. Care to elaborate?"

"Oh, you mean the threesome?" Nui asked, "Yeah, that happened,"

Ryuko was shocked and also revolted. Those images she had buried in the back of her mind rush forth and began to flood her mind yet again and then some. She felt woozy and started dry-heaving a little bit before Nui stroked her fingers across her chin.

"Don't be like that. We had a good time didn't we? I know you did," Nui giggled.

Ryuko broke out into a cold sweat, pushed Nui away and went to vomit into a nearby bush. Satsuki went to go care for her sister.

"Well, that was fucking traumatizing. You are one diabolical young woman aren't you," Bob asked Nui.

"Oh, stop," Nui smiled, "You're too kind,"

"Well, that's all the dares I got. Feel free to watch the the fight,"

"You mean the one that's just about over," Mako interrupted.

"Why yes… wait, what," Bob looked over to a see an battered, exhausted, blood-soaked Nonon emerging from the clouds of dirt and debris. She made her way over to Bob, Mako, and Nui.

"Who needs big titties when you can kick any man's ass?" Nonon huffed, "Small boobs rule!" She raised her hands victoriously before passing out from exhaustion.

"Glad she was able to accomplish her own little arc there," Bob commented, he turned toward the fictitious camera, "See you all next time readers. Please get some others to read and review, I know I sound like a sellout, but the more reviews, the more we can do. Goodnight!"

* * *

Later that night, Ryuko was drowning her sorrows in the wine bar room, which had for the most part been converted into a normal bar once the truth or dare game began. She was on her about halfway through her fifth beer and while she was not any closer to forgetting her past trauma, she was about another beer or two away from forgetting tonight altogether.

"I'm sorry Ryuko," Senketsu apologized.

"You don't fucking get it Senketsu," Ryuko slurred, "You weren't there… and your also clothes,"

Senketsu sighed, there was nothing much he could do other than simply be worn by her. He remembers that none of that probably would have happened if she had just worn him in the first place before being captured and made to wear Junketsu, but now wasn't the time of I told you so and he knew that.

"Are you alright, Ryuko?" Satsuki asked from the doorway with a cup of Mitsuzo's tea in hand.

"What do you think?" Ryuko slurred, "I was molested by my bitch mother and my father's killer," She slams her hand against the bar, "and I couldn't do shit about it!"

Satsuki sighs and takes a seat next to her little sister. She grabs a nearby bottle of whiskey and pours a little in her tea. She takes a big drink out of it.

"Hear me out Ryuko," Satsuki started, "I understand what you've gone through. Why do you think I wanted to rebel against Ragyo in the first place?"

"You thought she killed me and Dad and that she was going to let life fibers rule the world," Ryuko replied.

"That's true, but my intentions of betrayal weren't as noble as I make them out to be. If she did that to you while you were alone with her once. What did you think she did to me, being her only daughter?"

Then it suddenly dawned on Ryuko what Satsuki was hinting at. She tripped over herself to hug her sister and cried, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry Satsuki,"

"It's why I don't join you in the bathhouse, stuff... happened often there,"

While the two were comforting each other, Bob and Ted were using invisibility powers to watch from the other side of the room.

"So why can't I taser Satsuki," Bob asked, "Do you know how many sentences didn't end with the word bitch? All of them."

"Dude, just let the girls have their fucking moment," Ted replied, in a daze from being half-asleep for the past two days, "You gotta know when to ease off the crazy train, man,"

"Whatever, I don't need a lecture from myself," Bob replied, "Why don't you just do you and I do me?"

"Balance is the key to a life well lived, Me," Ted lectured.

"You ain't deep," Bob rebutted.

"Your right, but if I'm a kiddie pool, you're a puddle," Ted finished. He took a drink of his milk and went off to the real world to bed.


	3. The Breakfast Club

It was a quiet night at Kiryuin Manor. The full moon was high in the starry sky, a symphony of crickets were chirping away outside, and everyone was fast asleep in the Manor. Well, with the exception of four more-than-tipsy young women who just couldn't go to bed that night.

The jukebox in the bar was playing a mix of old and new hits from around the globe at a reasonable nighttime volume. The bar was full minus a couple of bottles that left noticeable gaps in the display. The bottles were being shared amongst Ryuko, Mako, Satsuki, and Nonon as they chatted the night away in their pajamas. Some were more tipsy than others and in a shocking twist it wasn't Mako who was the most belligerent. That honor would go to the lightweight (both literally and figuratively) Nonon Jakuzure, who was consuming more alcohol than her petite, little body can process.

"Have y'all ever noticed," Nonon drunkenly started, "That Gamagori likes Mako?"

Mako blushed at the seemingly random question that had been put forth by Nonon drunken ramblings. She tried to speak up, but being not far behind Nonon in the race to get pass-out drunk, could only stammer over her own words.

"Oh my God," Nonon yelled, "So you like him too," She raised her hand in the air and dramatically lowered it to point at Mako, but in all actuality, it was way sloppier than she had imagined.

"Well… I mean," Mako mummbled.

"Jakuzure, knock it off," Ryuko said, "Why are we talking about who likes who like a bunch of high schoolers anyway?"

"You know what they say," Satsuki started, "High school never ends,"

"I can't be the only one who sees," Nonon replied.

"You aren't," Satsuki admitted, "I have noticed Gamagori being… I guess you could say sweet with her, or at least for his standards,"

"I mean, he's a nice guy... when you get to know him," stammered.

The other three simply take a moment to process. "You like him," The three said in unison.

Mako panicked and started to go back on what she had just said and tried to clarify it wasn't like that but Nonon and now Ryuko wouldn't let up.

"So opposites do attract," Ryuko grinned.

"That's not…,"

"Aren't you worried?" Nonon tried hinting.

"About what?" Mako and Ryuko asked in unison.

"About the… bedroom situation,"

Mako blushed so hard that blood began to drip out of one of her nostrils. As she ran to get a tissue from the bar, Ryuko joked around some more.

"You know, if everything is proportional, I'd recommend taking some yoga classes," Ryuko jested.

"This isn't funny you guys," Mako protested as she stuck the tissue into her nose.

"Alright, that's enough," Satsuki declared, "Ryuko, didn't you say this was high school stuff,"

"C'mon Satsuki, after finding that out, I had to pick on her a little," Ryuko replied.

"I didn't confess to anything," Mako insisted.

"Confess to what?" said a deep, groggy voice walking into the room. Mako jumped at the sight of the large man walking into the room wearing nothing but pajama pants.

"H-hey Gamagori," Mako gretted meekly, "What keeps you awake at this hour?"

"You and the rest of your constant blabbering," Gamagori replied, "I don't know what you all could possibly be talking about at two o'clock in the morning, but can you please try to keep it down. People are trying to sleep," He turns to the jukebox and unplugs it from the outlet.

"My apologies Gamagori, I was just about to put them back in line," Satsuki assured.

"It's alright," Gamagori forgave, "Goodnight, oh, and Mankanshoku,"

"Y-yes,"

"Thanks for suggesting I wear something to bed, I haven't had a cold since,"

"No, no problem. Just trying to look out for everyone,"

After that, Gamagori walked off. Once his footsteps couldn't be heard, Ryuko and Nonon lost all composure and started snickering at what they just witnessed. The series of events even got Satsuki to chuckle a bit. It was all fun and games until another familiar face popped his head into the bar.

"So, what are you all laughing about?" Bob asked as he walked through the doorway.

The mood in the room shifted from happy to serious in a snap.

"None of your business, InsaneGuy," Satsuki replied.

Bob shrugged. "I guess I can always look back on the transcriptions later if I really cared enough, but I don't,"

"What are you doing up?" Nonon asked, stumbling in an attempt to be assertive.

"I'm a bit of an insomniac. Speaking of which, I'd recommend sleeping off what you drank just now because we are having a breakfast time Truth or Dare session. Eight in the morning,"

The girls sighed.

"Did you finally get more than one submission?" Ryuko quipped.

"Hey, I got two last time!" Bob barked, "Anyway, breakfast will be waffles, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, omelets, and all that other fun stuff. Goodnight,"

* * *

"Good morning Kill la Kill!" Bob announced over the intercom, "Make your way to the dining hall for a wonderful breakfast meal to go along with another game of Truth or Dare,"

The cast made their way to the dining room and Bob wasn't joking about breakfast. Everything one could possibly want out of breakfast was there. The amount and variety of food was simply unimaginable. The cast sat down in front of empty plates and as they thought about what they wanted to eat, the food magically floated their way from the center of the table and the plates were made themselves. Bob showed up last, got his plate out, and a bunch of food came toward his way. The plate floated out of his hands and caught every last crumb and as he sat down at the head of the long, dining room table, the plate landed in front of him too.

"Hello," Bob greeted, "I hope you all will enjoy your breakfast, because we got dares to do,"

"Can't we have a second to eat before we get into this," Barazo asked.

"Um… no," Bob answered, "If you are scared to get called on, I suggest you eat fast. Now for the first set of dares from Ac. Inumuta, you must wear this skimpy bikini that leaves very little to the imagination," Bob snapped his fingers and Inumuta's coat was replaced with a bikini that wasn't much more conservative than Life-fiber synchronization. Inumuta, who had had a lot on his mind lately was nearly a breaking point.

"C-can I get a towel?" Inumuta asked, "this is too much!"

"Um… no," Bob replied with the faked consideration. Bob took a few bites of his waffles which he savored immensely before getting up from his chair and walking to Ryuko, "Now for Senketsu, drink this," Bob summoned a red carton, not unlike a milk carton. He opened it up and splashed the red liquid that had been contained in it onto Ryuko's breasts. A few droplets splashed onto Ryuko's half-eaten omelet.

"What the hell was that!" Ryuko demanded.

"Delicious," Senketsu beamed, "Is this diabetic blood?"

"Type 2," Bob answered.

"Ew, Some of it got on my omelet!" Ryuko complained.

"Just summon another one," Bob said. He turned his attention toward Nonon "Alright Nonon, I have this potion that will give you bigger boobs, do you want it?"

Nonon legitimately thought about it for a moment. "No, only because you probably did something to the potion. Like sure, I'll have bigger boobs, but they'll swell to the size of elephants or something awful like that. I'm right, aren't I,"

"Um… well, uh… not necessarily… um… Okay, you got me," Bob admitted, he hung his head to appear defeated but as Jakuzure let her guard down, Bob chanted something that was a mix of arcane gibberish and the word ravioli, and pointed to her. A pink-tinted smoke enveloped Nonon and once it cleared, her head barely reached over the table. Nonon looked down at her feet and they can't even touch the ground anymore. She had been turned into a child.

"What have you done?" Nonon cried, "I'm tiny, I have nothing! I'm smaller than Slacker Junior over there," She stood up on her chair and started throwing a tantrum, "Change me back! Change me back! Change me back!"

"Jakuzure," Satsuki called, "Control yourself, just because you are a child, doesn't mean you have to act like one,"

"But Lady Satsuki," Nonon begged.

"Nonon," Satsuki warned, in a tone similar to a stern mother. Nonon sat down in her chair and proceed to summon a large glass of milk, which she promptly chugged down.

Right next to Ryuko, Mako was next to her, trying to make as little eye contact as possible with Gamagori, who was sitting further down and across from her. This caught Ryuko's eye and she couldn't help but to playfully snicker at her.

"Now for the ultimate arm-wrestling showdown of the century," Bob announced like a wrestling announcer. Bob and Ted suddenly appear at a small pop-up table with microphones in front of them, "I am Bob,"

"And I am Ted,"

"And this is the arm wrestling showdown!" They both announced in unison.

"Um… where is the cheering?" Bob asked.

"I got it," Ted sighed as he pushed a button on his phone. The pre-recorded cheering played through the Manor's intercom system in all its glory.

"In this corner," Bob started, "measuring at five feet and two inches, weighing in at one hundred and ten pounds, the former President of the Fight Club, and donning said uniform, MAKOOOOOOOO MANKANSHOOOOKU!"

Mako walked into the room, after being suddenly teleported just after Bob and Ted's introduction, wearing her two-star fight club uniform and waving at the imaginary crowd of pre-recorded cheering.

"And in this corner," Ted started," Measuring and weighing in at a very inconsistent height and weight," Ted shuffled through his notes to find an accurate measurement but it could not be done, "Seriously folks, the animators couldn't agree on this guy. Former leader of the Disciplinary Committee, member of the Elite Four, Lady Satsuki's Shield, and wearing no life-fibers whatsoever, IRAAAAAAA GAMAGOOORRRIIII!"

The cheering through the intercom system continued as Gamagori walked in from the opposite side of the room wearing nothing but his underwear. With all the childish teasing that had been targeted toward her and a mix of uncertain feelings, Mako was a bit flustered.

"Was it necessary to strip me down to my boxers?" Gamagori asked the announcers, "I wasn't even wearing life fibers,"

The two announcers just shrugged. At the middle of the dining room, right in front of the announcer's table, a smaller table with two chairs appeared.

Ted got up from his chair, ripped off his current attire, and under it revealed a referee uniform.

"Combatants," Ted boomed, "Take your seats," The two contestants take seats on their respective side of the table. They set their right elbows on the table and lock their hands together, Mako was still flustered but she was determined to win.

"All right you two, I want a clean fight. No mind games, nothing below the belt, sexual or otherwise, uh… I don't watch boxing movies so that's all I got… Fight!" The bell rings and the two had at it. While the two-star uniform immensely amplified Mako's natural strength to superhuman levels, Gamagori was no ordinary human and was able to hold his own. The following seconds felt like they lasted for minutes on end as the fighters' arms wrestled against each other's strength.

"Not bad, Mankanshoku. Not bad for a two-star uniform," Gamagori smirked.

"Really?" Mako grinned, " I think you're doing amazing with no stars at all,"

"I appreciate the compliment, but now it is time to finish this!" Gamagori yelled as he poured every ounce of energy into this one last push. He was able to get Mako's hand halfway down. Bob could tell who the winner was going to be and changed the audio on the loudspeakers from pre-recorded cheers to the song _Before My Body Is Dry._ Just as he did, Gamagori ran out of steam and Mako prepared for her counter-attack.

"My turn," Mako beamed. And just as the music hit that iconic chorus, Mako turned the tables in the most climactic way imaginable. She slammed his hand down with a force strong enough to break the table and send Gamagori flying into the wall. Ted went over to Mako and raised her hand in the air, declaring her to be the winner.

"There you have it folks," Bob announced, "with what we know about goddamn life-fibers, it should be no surprise that Mako was able to win. Now to end off the show, Ms. Ryuko Matoi will feed Nui this life-fiber severing chainsaw!"

Ryuko was suddenly gifted with a standard looking chainsaw. She glared over at Nui who was way over on the opposite side of the table. Seeing the look of absolute hatred in her eyes and considering she had no real weapon to stand a chance at fighting back, she decided it'd be best to run. Ryuko jumped on the table and made chase out of the dining room. As Bob was about to move on from the arm-wrestling bit, the sound of a chainsaw being stuffed down a young woman's esophagus along with her blood curdling scream echoed through the manor.

Ryuko gleefully walked back into the room covered in blood and little bits of gore here and there. She took her seat between Satsuki and Mako, who was still wearing the Fight Club uniform, like an act of exceedingly aggressive homicide didn't just occur.

"Man," Ted started, "That's fucked up,"

"Not as fucked up as that anime you just finished watching," Bob retorted.

"I know Happy Sugar Life was absolutely fucked," Ted replied, "But I couldn't seem to stop watching,"

"If I've learned anything," Bob stated, " It's that morbid curiosity and cute anime girls go along way,"

"Yeah, whatever," Ted finished, "See ya," Ted disappeared.

"Now Nonon must carry Gamagori on her shoulders," Bob read from his notecard.

"But I'm littler now!" Nonon cried.

"It doesn't matter, it's got to be done," Bob said as he telekinetically pulled Gamagori out of the nearby wall and dropped her onto Nonon, crushing Nonon and the chair she was standing on.

"Sorry Jakuzure," Gamagori apologized.

The only trace of little Nonon that can be seen under Gamagori was a single broken arm sticking out from underneath him. Accepting that she was most likely killed on impact and not wanting to disobey an order, Gamagori positioned himself to sitting up on top of what was left of Nonon.

"Alright, we got one more from Ac, but we'll save that one till the end," Bob declared, "No it's time for Gabe2000's dares. Gamagori, you must refer to Satsuki as bimbo for the rest of the session,"

"Lady Satsuki's not a bimbo," Gamagori protested.

"I'll just rip off somebody else's arms," Bob warned, "Knowing you, you probably like electrical shocks. Sick fuck,"

Gamagori sighed. "I tried Lady Sa… I mean… Bimbo,"

"I don't really care, but if you're trying not to offend me, wouldn't it be best not to address me at all?" Satsuki asked.

"Questions such as this don't really matter," Bob interrupted, "What does seem to matter right now is if Senketsu looks at Ryuko when she showers?"

"I'm not a creep if that's what you're implying," Senketsu answered, "I usually just stay where Ryuko places me and besides, have you seen our synchronization?"

"Yeah," Ryuko added, albeit somewhat awkwardly, "If you think about it, he's always touching my body when I wear him… and the panties really ride up my crotch, so there's that. Who cares if my clothes see me naked?"

"Good point," Bob noted, "Now speaking of creeps, Mataro must grab every girl's ass. Every. Girl… Well except Nonon, she's kinda dead… so is Nui… you can get a pass for the two nest time,"

Mataro jumps up at the opportunity to do this and once he gleefully grabs the asses of Ryuko and Satsuki, it suddenly dawned on him that he had to grab the asses of his sister and mother. Not wanting to get his arms ripped off again he reluctantly does this and all parties involved, even Bob, feels weird about it.

"Sorry Mataro, just be glad that I made you do this before I start making your mom dance on the pole,"

"What!" Mataro yelled.

Bob cleared the table, which at this point was simply a mess of smashed food and blood and a pole appeared in the center of the table. Sakuyo was stipped down to the tiniest bikini imaginable and the song _Pour Some Sugar on Me_ by Def Leppard started blaring on the intercom system. The lights were dimmed down, neon lights suddenly lined the edge of the table, flashing lights pointed down onto the table, and a thin layer of smoke from a smoke machine began filling the room.

Sakuyo was, as expected, a bit nervous about performing like this in a room in front of her peers but she downed the rest of her mimosa and jumped onto the pole like she knew exactly what she was doing. Barazo started making it rain with what he had in his wallet, which made no sense considering they shared the same income, but she appreciate it nonetheless. Her two children covered their eyes in embarrassment.

"You know Ryuko," Satsuki started, "Never in all my life have I expected my home would be used as a strip club,"

"What!" Ryuko replied, obviously not hearing what she had said over the loud music.

"Never in all my- forget it"

The song ended and Sakuyo picked up the bills that her husband had thrown at her. The lights and everything go back to normal. Barazo helps her off of the table and walks her back to her chair.

"I had fun," Sakuyo said, looking at her husband, "reminds me of the first time we met,"

"I didn't need to know this!" Mataro cried.

"Amazing performance, Sakuyo!" Bob appuladed, "Now for Gabe2000's final dare," Bob pauses to look at his notecard, cringes, and sighs, "Ryuko, Satsuki,"

"What is it?" they both reply with a sigh.

"I know y'all aren't the biggest fans of incestual acts of love and neither am I, but you both gotta make out like every two minutes or so,"

"What the fuck," Ryuko yelled.

"Your disgusting," Satsuki replied.

"This ain't me doing this," Bob argued, "Do you think I feel comfortable crossing that line? Fuck no! But it's gotta be done,"

"Aren't you and Ted the same person?" Inumuta asked.

"Yeah," Bob answered, confused as to what he meant.

"So, if on some level your comfortable watching Happy Sugar Life, then this should be-,"

"Why are you arguing for this?" Gamagori asked.

Inumuta realized the perception that asking the question entailed and, on top of wearing a bikini, was embarrassed to say the least.

"Okay, first of all, fuck Ted," Bob answered, "Second of all, I do gotta agree with him though. Something about a psychopathic, emotionally fucked, murdering, kidnapping, pedophile highschool girl and the crazy shit she goes through to keep her "lover" safe from everyone is just morbidly amusing. But whatever, you both gotta make out every two minutes and since the last dare from Ac says for Satsuki to take someone to survive Super Hell for the day, Ryuko is going as well,"

A portal opened up below the two sister's feet and the two found themselves falling into a land of brimstone and fire, covered in a blood red sky. As the two fell into a ravine, Ryuko grabbed Satsuki and used her scissors to stop her fall by stabbing them into the wall. Then, just like she did on her last day at Honnoji Academy, she ran up the ledge and back onto the surface with Satsuki in tow.

"Thanks Ryuko," Satsuki breathed.

"Don't mention it, sis,"

As they finished, a beeping sound was heard by the both of them. They found the location of the beeping to come from matching wrist watches in the shape of a pair of lips flashing all zeros.

"I'm guessing this is the kiss clock," Ryuko sighed.

"It appears to be the case," Satsuki confirmed.

"Goddammit"

"Let's just get this over with," Satsuki pulled Ryuko in for a long (but not too long), awkward kiss. After the watch reset, Ryuko immediately pushed Satsuki away.

"Give me a damn warning next time!" Ryuko yelled.

"My apologies, but I didn't want to see what would happen if we ignored the timer for too long,"

The distant roars of demonic beasts and demons could be heard from nearby. The two quit their arguing and assumed battle positions. Ryuko gave half of the scissor blade to Satsuki, who had left her sword in the manor. Soon enough, the two sisters soon found themselves surrounded by demons. They stayed back to back as they fought off the horde, when the timer hit zero. They'd kiss and spin around with their blades out chopping up every demon who happened to be in their way. After about twenty minutes of this, the horde just wouldn't stop.

"Ryuko, we can't keep fighting this. We need to retreat," Senketsu urged.

Ryuko initiated life-fiber synchronization, transformed into the Senketsu Shippu configuration and flew away with Satsuki.

"We need to find a place to lay low for the day," Ryuko yelled.

"What so you love birds can kiss in peace," Senketsu joked.

"Not funny Senketsu!" The girls yelled.

"Yeah, I know,"

The girls eventually made their way to a small cave. It had plenty of small demons and imp in it but after a little clearing out and some make out breaks, they were able to secure a relatively safe spot. After a while, a spectral projection of Bob appeared.

"Hey, um… Just sayin'. If you want a little break from constant kissing, you can… put some tongue action into it,"

"Shut up, you weird anime watching asshole!" Ryuko screamed.

"Hey Ted's the weeb, I'm just along for the ride! Just trying to help, shit,"

"Give us an hour," The girls said.

"So be it," Bob's spectral projection dissipated. Then the timers beeped again. Then the two sisters looked at each other with the understanding of what's to come. They make out with the added effort and after the timer reset itself to an hour, they immediately broke the kiss and spat at the ground.

"So gross," Ryuko commented.

"You can say that again," Satsuki remarked, "Almost wasn't worth it,"

"It was to us," said a cheery, high-pitched voice.

Suddenly the spectral projections of Nui and their bitch of a mother, Ragyo appeared in front of them. The sisters got up and swung their blades at them, but the attacks phased right through them.

"Don't bother, we don't mean to harm you," Ragyo spoke, "Just wanted to see how my two little girls have been,"

"Fine," Satsuki growled.

"Get out of our sight!" Ryuko yelled.

"No need to be hostile," Nui smiled, "We can't touch you right now, but when I get back, how about I feed you and Satsuki your scissor blade?"

"We'll be ready for you bitches," Ryuko replied.

"Well, have fun you two. Our break is over," Ragyo said. She turned to Nui, "How should we be tortured next?" The two spectral projections faded and the girls were alone yet again.

"When will this end?" Ryuko whined.

"Who knows, but for right now, let's just take a nap," Satsuki yawned.

"Nap? In a place like this?"

"You can't tell me you'd rather make out some more,"

"Yeah, your right." Ryuko agreed, "Wanna nap in shifts then,"

"Makes sense to me," Satsuki flopped onto the hard brimstone, layed down and shut her eyes as Ryuko stood at the cave entrance, staring down at the hellish landscape below.

"You know Senketsu," Ryuko started, "I hate doing this truth or dare shit, but without this I wouldn't have you back,"

"You know, I'd much rather you live a peaceful life than go through this hell… literally," Senketsu replied.

"I know, but your my friend," Ryuko smiled.

"Oh Ryuko, didn't you graduate high school recently? It'd be even more silly to wear me around,"

"It's good wearing you, even if I have to put up with the bullshit that comes with it. I promise to iron you when we get back,"

"Your too kind,"

Ryuko thought to stared off into space a bit and then laughed randomly.

"What's funny," Senketsu asked

"Bob still only had two submissions," Ryuko laughed.


	4. A Snowy Summer Afternoon

It was a cold, miserable day at Kiryuin Manor. Spring was supposed to be slowly transitioning to Summer, but for some odd reason there was almost a foot of snow on the ground. Fortunately the Kiryuin Manor has a state-of-the-art central heating system that regulates temperature to a tenth of a degree. Unfortunately, it was also broken. Mitsuzo and his nephew Shiro were attempting to do what they could to fix it but with the former being a butler and the latter being a tailor, progress wasn't being made.

The rest of the residents were curled up either in their beds under mountains of blankets, bundled up and in the living room with the fireplace burning away, or seeking refuge in the bathhouse and sauna. Speaking of the fireplace, Ryuko, Satsuki, and Mako were huddled up close together in front of the wonderful flames with a big blanket around them.

"What the hell's up with this house?" Ryuko shivered, "Don't rich folks have people that fix this kind of stuff when they break?"

"Kiryuin Manor used to have a maintenance team on standby," Satsuki answered, "But I think Bob murdered them and forgot to revive them,"

"What happened to springtime," Mako shivered, "There's supposed to be flowers, and ladybugs, and we could have gone to the beach soon. Where did the sun go?"

"Climate change?" Senketsu suggested.

"With it snowing in the summer?" Satsuki said, "I doubt it,"

"I wouldn't be surprised if that asshole Bob had something to do with it," Ryuko ranted. Her blood began to boil just thinking about him. So much so that the other two girls could feel this heat radiate from her.

"I don't like to see you mad Ryuko," Mako stated. She went in to hug onto her friend from the right side, "But could you please keep thinking about things that make you mad. Your so warm!"

"I'm not a heater," Ryuko muttered.

Satsuki, who was to Ryuko's left went to hug her closer too. "But your doing well at it little sister,"

"Not you too," Ryuko sighed.

On the arm chairs behind them, the Elite Four were bundled up in all the blankets that they could find. Inumuta, who had a lot of reality shattering truths revealed to him over the past few weeks, was drinking to momentarily forget such things and was giggling at the silly display playing out in front of him.

"You seem like the happy drunk," Nonon commented from the recliner beside him.

"It's better than thinking about living in a fanfic of an anime," Inumuta slurred. He took another swig from the bottle after realizing he remembered, "Plus I feel so warm,"

"You of all people should know that that's just blood vessels expanding closer to the skin, making you more likely to suffer hypothermia," Uzu stated.

"I ca-calculated that," Inumuta mumbled, "That's why I got six blankets,"

"Wait," Nonon interrupted, "You have six!"

"Stop hogging all the blankets Sanageyama!" Gamagori yelled, "I only have two and I need more to cover myself!"

"What are you gonna do?" Inumuta teased, "Leave your blankets and be cold to get them,"

Gamagori stood up from his chair. "If that's what it takes to get warmer, I have no problem with freezing for a small time,"

"Oh crud," Inumuta mumbled. He got out his phone and typed something in real fast. Soon after, Gamagori's phone rang. He reached into his pajama pants for it, held it to his ear to answer it, then the phone went did a Galaxy Note 7 and burst into flames. Gamagori, quickly threw the buring phone over the three girls heads and into the fireplace.

"Your gonna get it now Inumuta," Gamagori threatened, "I'm going to make you pay for a new one you belligerent drunk!"

"Hold up guys," Bob interrupted as he walked into the room, wearing clothes that did not suit the climate at all, "Just...chill,"

The entire room went silent and even though it is too cold for most insects to still be alive, the chirping of a lone cricket could be heard nearby.

"Can you honestly say your proud at that attempt at comedy?" Satsuki groused.

"Um… Ryuko, I know you've helped your sister over the last year with it, but could you finish pulling that stick out of her ass for me?" Bob asked, "You'd be doing the world a huge service. Anyway, we got dares and no, Ryuko, there aren't just two submissions this time,"

The occupants of the room groaned. Gamagori swiped two blankets from Inumuta before sitting back down and covering himself up again. As he finished, Mitsuzo and Shiro come walking in covered in dust and grime.

"I apologize m'lady," Mitsuzo bowed, "Our skills aren't up to the task for this repair,"

"Wait, couldn't you just magically fix the heating system," Shiro asked Bob.

"I mean, I could, but what would be the point of making it snow?" Bob answered.

Ryuko turned around. "I fucking knew it!"

Mako and Satsuki stayed huddled to Ryuko. "Stay just this angry," Mako pleaded, "It's perfect,"

Bob clapped his hands and the rest of the cast was teleported over, along with plenty of spare blankets so he didn't have to hear their constant complaining.

"Hello again," Bob greeted, "It is time for our third Truth or Dare session. I know it is cold, but if we get through this, I will fix the heating system and we can all be nice and cosy. So just do as your told and you will all be rewarded. Well, with the exception of those that die, but who cares about them? The first dares will be from NuclearCracker and he wants Inumuta to scan everyone's intelligence levels,"

"Ha, all that's needed to know is that I'm super smart and Mako is super dumb," Inumuta rambled, "Most of you are just about average,"

"Anyone could tell Mako's an idiot!" Bob protested, "You're just too drunk and lazy to do the scan!"

"Bingo"

"Whatever, I don't need you all to spend the next thirty minutes comparing intellects. Next is for Senketsu to tell us the taste of all the blood he has had and declare the one he liked best.

"Well you see Bob," Senketsu started, "Blood from just one person can come in a multitude of varieties and flavors. Obviously I've had more than my fair share of Ryuko's blood and it's the blood I've grown accustomed to, Mako's and Satsuki's blood was alright for the small time I had theirs,"

"Care to go into further detail you blood snob?" Bob asked.

"Why of course! The taste of blood can change with diet, emotions, medication, climate, and a multitude of other factors. It's like trying to flavor a fine wine, if you will. You never get the same combination of flavor. Although I will say, when Ryuko get really pissed off, the blood gets spicy and just before we transformed into that monstrosity that one time, it could taste it getting sour. Mako's blood had a bit of a sweet and salty kick to it, while Satsuki's had a hint of bitterness to it, like a cup of coffee. That carton of diabetic blood I had was extremely sweet, so sweet that it was a little nauseating. Anything else? I could go on for just about all day,"

"That's fine," Bob stated, "You answer was more than enough. Now moving on to Uzu, who will turn into some naked, green jelly mold man with chocolate cream hair. I don't get it but whatevs," Bob snapped his fingers and Uzu became just that. He was disappointed at first, but quickly learned that jelly people can't feel extreme coldness and soon changed his outlook on the transformation.

"Ryuko, besides yourself, who is the most physically beautiful girl here?" Bob asked.

"Well, I'd honestly have to give that to Mako," Ryuko answered, "I can't put my finger on it, but she was the first name that came to mind,"

"Aw, thank you Ryuko," Mako bubbled, then she gets up and turns her attention to Inumuta, "Who needs brains when you got this rockin' body?" She makes a pose before a cold breeze sends shivers down her spine and then she subsequently retreated into the warmth of the blanket.

"Oh, also," Bob continued, "Who do you love more? Satsuki, Mako, or Senketsu? And who are you more afraid to lose?"

Ryuko paused for a moment to think. "Damn… that has to be the toughest question I've ever been asked. Mako's been my best friend since I first arrived at Honnoji Academy. I fought a lot with Satsuki at first, but I'm glad to call her my sister now. Senketsu and I share a unique bond that can only be had with a girl and a sentient set of clothes. I've already lost Senketsu once, but I couldn't stand to lose any of them," Ryuko sighed at the memory of Senketsu burning up as they fell back to Earth. At the same time though, she didn't want to get too soft in front of everyone like this, "Can I skip this one?"

"Skip a dare?" Bob asked, "What the fuck do you think this is? You know I have to send you to Super Hell, right?"

"At least it's warm now there," Ryuko remarked.

"You were just outside the torture pits," Bob corrected, "I could have sent you straight to the demon lords and they could of done as they pleased,"

Just then, Ted walked in wearing a thick coat with his hands in the coat pockets. He pulls out his phone and shows it to Bob. He takes a moment to read the screen before he sighs and takes a deep breath.

"Nevermind Ryuko," Bob said, "NuclearCracker gave you a pass for that one. Now for Gamagori and Mako,"

"What?" Gamagori jumped.

"What could we possibly be doing?" Mako asked, "This isn't a kissing dare is it? Not that I'd want one just that…,"

"Shut up," Bob yawned, "Just give Gamagori a bear hug while Gamagori holds you on his shoulders,"

"So, she's just hugging my head?" Gamagori asked.

"Sounds like it,"

Mako jumped on top of Gamagori and situated herself so that she sat on his shoulders behind his head and without much warning, wrapped her arms around his forehead and squeezed. She squeezed so hard that that Gamagori developed a headache.

"I'm going to go get some Advil," Gamagori said.

"Can I join you?" Mako asked.

"Your already on board, I don't see why not," The giant walked over to the nearest medicine cabinet with the airhead in tow.

"For NuclearCracker's final truth," Bob continued, "What did everyone think of Satsuki and Ryuko kissing?"

Practically everyone with the exception of Nui was weirded out by that dare and do not wish to see it again.

"Well, now it's time for CrazyMetamorph9573's dares. Ryuko, Satsuki, drink these vials.

Bob hands the two girls vials of a strange, pink liquid. They glance at each other with unease, but with no other options, they drink the fluid. It tasted like sugar, spice and everything nice and didn't seem to have any effect. That was until they looked down at their breasts and noticed that the large racks they used to sport were merely shadows of what they once were. Once they were alarmed by that, they then noticed that their clothes were loose and that they had shrunk by about a foot.

"What's this?" Satsuki exclaimed, while examining her smaller body.

"I think we've been given a Jakuzure potion," Ryuko laughed, "But seriously, this is bad,"

"You laugh," Nonon retorted, "But this is how I am everyday around you both. Look who's got the bigger boobs now,"

"Me?" Mako interjected.

"W-well... besides you," Nonon stuttered.

"Me?" Sukuyo added.

"None of the Mankanshoku's,"

"I got bigger boobs than you, too," Nui added.

"Oh, and Nonon," Bob continued, "You gotta wear this diaper and kindergarten outfit for the rest of the session. If you want something to drink, here is this sippy cup,"

Nonon's tiny bit of joy simply died and her insecurities intensified.

"Never fucking mind," She huffed as she took the outfit and stomped to the nearest changing room.

"And by the way," Bob yelled as she stormed off, "We're calling you Music Baby!"

"Fuck off!"

* * *

Suddenly, The back part of the living room was turned into a low budget talk show set, with a cheap desk, and a couple of second hand sofa chairs. The background was simply a black curtain hanging from the ceiling. Off to the side, a small jazz band, led by the music baby, Nonon, was ready to perform.

"Now presenting," started a disembodied announcer voice, "The Bob InsaneGuy Show,"

Just as the jazz band started playing the intro, Bob jumped from behind the black curtain, tearing it down in the process. He lands right behind the desk and from there grabs an axe. He brandishes the axe and manically Naruto runs over to the band where he begins to hack all the band members, with the exception of Music Baby, to pieces. Once he's done, he is covered in blood and gives Nonon a pat on the head.

"Good song," he compliments.

Once Bob makes it back to the desk, Ted is already sitting on the chair furthest away from the desk, eagerly awaiting the show. Bob takes his seat, sorts through some note cards, and tosses them aside.

"Today's guest, Nui Harime,"

Nui gleefully walked through the prop door and onto the chair between Bob and Ted.

"Hello Nui," Bob greeted, "We got a couple of questions for you,"

"I'm always glad to answer any questions," Nui beamed, "What do you want to know about me?"

"Are you jealous of Mako in anyway?" Bob asked.

"Jealous of that airhead? No way, why would you ask that?"

"You seem to hate her quite a bit, even though she didn't cut your arms off," Ted stated, "Just doesn't seem like the hate fits the crime,"

"I hate her because she's an idiot and the fact that she hasn't died of her own stupidity is nothing short of a miracle,"

"Well, the reason why we ask is…," Bob paused to collect his thoughts, "Well, Mako wasn't created as some type of super seamstress slash weapon,"

"Plus possible sex doll," Ted added. Nui glared at Ted for a moment before turning back to Bob.

"She has people who love her for who she is and she, like, earns the respect of people without resorting to sewing Kamuis onto people, and brainwashing them into banging you. Any response?"

Nui's head made a slight but noticeable tick. "I think someone's trying to get a rise out of me,"

"Uh, it's him," Ted said as he pointed to Bob, "Stupid,"

"Final question, if we stripped you of your life-fibers, would you just be a human? If so, think you could take on No-Star Mako?" Bob asked.

"Well, I don't think that would work," Nui started, "But if I were just a plain old human, I could definitely teach that little airhead a lesson,"

Bob snapped his fingers and once that happened, Nui vomited out a bunch of life-fibers. Nui was appalled by this sight and disgusted with herself for being what felt to be human.

"Your a human now," Bob stated, "Fight to the death, Go!"

Nui immediately spotted Mako in the audience, who was still sitting on Gamagori's shoulders. Mako made a quick run to find a weapon and Nui ran off set and chased after her. Bob and Ted just sat in their chairs for a few seconds before Ted turned to Nonon, who was still with the band.

"Play us off, Music Baby," Ted grinned.

Pissed off at the nickname and the kindergarten outfit she was forced to wear. Nonon grabbed a flute and spear chucked it at Ted. The flute somehow embedded itself into Ted's chest causing him to collapse onto the ground and bleed out.

"Ted! No!" Bob cried. Bob went rushed over to Ted's aid.

"I'm d-dying Bob," Ted gasped.

"No, you'll be okay. You'll be okay,"

"Listen Bob, I'm sorry. I should have been better to you,"

"I should have been better to you. It's okay if your a stupid weeb. If we make it through this, you can watch as many crazy ass anime shows as you want,"

"I ain't that big of a weeb you dick," Ted coughed up blood, "But I think I'm seeing the light,"

"Don't walk into the light Ted!"

"But hell is much warmer than this cold... ass... house," Ted's body fell limp. Bob placed his hands over his eyelids and shut them.

"Goodnight sweet prince," Bob wepted. He paused for a moment before looking at both sides. He then lowered his way to Ted's face and started to kiss him before Ted woke up.

"Dude what the fu-," Ted started. But time momentarily paused and the message "We'll be right back" appeared along with a little four second jingle.

* * *

Ryuko and Satsuki look at each other, confused as all hell at the spectacle they had just witnessed.

"What the fuck was that?" Ryuko said, in a slightly higher pitched voice, probably due to the shrinkage of her body. Satsuki merely shrugged.

* * *

Nui had caught up with Mako in the hallway and grabbed her by her collar. She threw her down to the floor and tried to stomp her face in with her heels, but Mako kept rolling out of the way. Eventually Mako was able to make her way under her dress where she was able to punch Nui in the vulva. Nui, took a moment to writhe in the extreme pain that mortality had subjected her to and in that time Mako was able to get up and knee Nui in the face and throw a couple of punches for good measure.

Despite Mako's attacks, Nui was able to recover and gave her a quick jab to eye. While Mako was stunned, Nui grabbed her and slammed her head against a nearby glass hallway table. The glass and everything else on the table shattered immediately, cutting Mako all over her face. Before Nui could go for the second slam on the table's steel frame, Mako reached back and pulled both of her large pigtails. As she was forced down, Mako flung her head up into Nui's jaw. She then takes advantage of the situation by grabbing Nui and repeatedly banging her head against a mirror.

As this was happening, Nui noticed a decorative knife hanging nearby. She grabs at it and stabs her assailant in the thigh. This was enough to get Mako to throw her off to the side and make a mad dash to the kitchen. Nui picked herself up and came chasing after her.

"Get back here you little bitch!" Nui screamed, "Make it easy for yourself!"

Mako makes it to the kitchen and grabs ahold of a knife holding block. As Nui runs in after her, a blade flies over and embeds itself into her right shoulder. Nui continued to run after her, dodging the knife throws with grace. She makes it over to her and gives her an uppercut to the chin. She then grabs Mako and throws her at the wall and she lands on the countertop. Nui jumps onto the countertop and spotted that Mako's kneecap was directly over the sink. While Mako was dazed, Nuit took the opportunity to stomp down onto her knee, breaking it and contorting her leg painful angle.

Mako cried out in pain. Nui got on top of her, placed her hands around her neck and began to squeeze.

"I love and admire Lady Ragyo," Nui yelled. Blood came dripping out of her mouth as she spoke, "You're too fucking stupid to understand that! You're too stupid to understand anything! I'm going to enjoy watching you die,"

Mako choked and gasped for air that simply couldn't be breathed. Her vision began to fade. She raised her arms up and meekly grabbed at Nui's shoulders. Nui was in such a voracious state of bloodlust that she had forgotten the knife was still stuck in her shoulder. Mako felt the knife sticking out as it was out of her quickly fading field of view. With the last of her energy, she pulled the knife from her shoulder. Nui winced at this and momentarily let up on choking out Mako, which gave her enough time to thrust the blade into Nui's only other eye. Nui cried in pain and despair as the world for her went black. Blood came dripping down the knife handle and onto Mako's chest.

She threw the blind girl down to the floor and rolled off after her. She reached for another nearby knife and brutally stabbed the girl in the chest about ten times, until Nui's screams stopped and her life appeared to escape her body. Mako collapsed on top of the deceased Nui, trying to catch her breath after the long, bloody battle.

"Will you be alright Mankanshoku?" a deep voice asked. Mako looked up and saw Gamagori towering over her, "Can you walk?"

"No," Mako winced, "She broke my knee. Can you carry me Gamagori?"

"Of course,"

* * *

Bob and Ted cleared away the set and continued on with the session.

"With that out of the way," Bob began, "Our next dares come from Gabe2000 and he Senketsu to become the most ridiculous outfit I can think of and I have just the thing,"

Senketsu and Ryuko suddenly become enveloped in a ball of smoke. After a few seconds, the smoke dissipated and Senketsu felt himself to be more meaty. Ryuko looked down and screamed in disgust. Senketsu had somehow been morphed into a meaty monstrosity of a dress.

"Made with real one hundred percent beef," Bob started, "The meat dress, enjoy!"

"Isn't that so 2010?" Ted asked as he pulled out the flute from his chest.

"Shut up Ted. Now the women must lose their hair and the men must wear speedos,"

Everyone groaned, especially the men, who had it the worst considering the weather outside. Bob snapped his fingers and the hair of every woman fell of as if they were going through chemotherapy and everything the men wore was stripped away, leaving tight, uncomfortable, and brightly colored speedos in their place. The men who were not under covers ran to the nearest blanket as they cold air enveloped around them.

"Now for Ryuko and Satsuki," Bob continued, "Did you enjoy your make out session last time,"

"No," They said in unison.

"Not even a little,"

"No,"

"Fair enough, moving on. Speaking of making out, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. Mako and Gamagori gotta kiss,"

"A kiss!?" exclaimed the bald, battered Mako from Gamagori's arms, "I'm not ready for a kiss, I'm all bloody, broken, and bald. This isn't like the fairy tales at all. I-,"

"And I didn't expect to be wearing a speedo," Gamagori commented, "You can't simply wait for the perfect moment Mankanshoku," He leaned forward and the two had a short kiss and while they were all messed up and as much as Gamagori would hate to talk about it outloud, it was a wonderful moment.

"Beautiful," Bob commented, "Now for the final batch of dares from Ac, but before we do that," Bob paused to pulled a spiked titanium bowling ball out of his pocket. He takes aim at goo man Uzu and he chucks the ball as hard as he can. The ball lands at the pelvic region of this body, but since he is goo, instead of horrible agonizing pain, the ball goes through his pelvic region entirely. The goo from that area is splattered onto the ball and is removed. His torso falls face first to the ground while his gooey legs lose their form.

"That's one dare out of the way. Music Baby, drink this," Bob tosses the girl a bottle filled with yellow liquid. She inspects the bottle for a moment before coming to her conclusion.

"This is piss isn't it?" Nonon questioned.

"Whatever do you mean?" Bob lied.

Nonon sighed as she took a swig from the bottle. The warm, nasty, salty liquid hit her tongue and her gag reflexes kicked in.

"No," Nonon coughed, "This is definitely piss!"

"Alright you got me, it's everyone's collective urine from inside this house," Bob admitted. Everyone gave Bob the kind of look that makes him seem like a creep. Bob could read the room and retorted, "It's what the dare called for, and don't be so weirded out that I harvested all of your urine. I'm a goddamn wizard, no scratch that, I'm practically a god. If anything, Truth or Dare is a waste of such immense power. Now Mako did you cut Nui's other eye out in that fight to the death? That was supposed to be a dare for her."

"I sure did!" Mako proudly stated.

"Good, good… Okay, now Gamagori, you have the option of breaking one of Mako's arms or publicly humiliating her,"

"If I have no choice, then I guess humiliation," Gamagori stated, he looked down at Mako, "But what do I do?"

"I dunno, like, spank her or something," Bob remarked, "While you decide, I need Satsuki to be bathed in this washtub by Mataro right along side you two. The boy's eyes lit up in anticipation.

"That's creepy," Satsuki complained, "Plus it'll be extremely cold,"

"At least you'll have hot water," Bob added, "Unlike Ryuko, who's got to take off the Senketsu Meat Regalia and jump into this tank full of freezing water,"

"Are you crazy! I'll freeze to death!"

"Yes and too bad,"

Ryuko took off Senketsu and climbed into the tank of ice water. The cold shook her down to her very core as she stood in the tank. As she was standing there freezing to death, Mataro was washing an unamused Satsuki. He made sure to get every spot, but once he got a bit too low for her liking, she got defensive and socked him in the face. While that was happening, Gamagori was awkwardly spanking Mako and while it was to be a punishment, the look on Mako's face told a different story.

"Are we done?" Bob asked.

Satsuki stood up from the washtub, dried off and went to the big blanket by the fire to bundle herself up. She looked over at Mataro, who was stopping a bloody nose and she looked over at Gamagori who had just stopped give Mako spankings, but wasn't moving Mako of of his lap for some reason.

"We seem to be fine,"

"Alright then," Bob stated he snapped his fingers and the young woman that had just been bent over on his lap receiving a spanking while hiding a boner disappeared and a plate of tofu took her place. Gamagori quickly positioned himself.

"Mankanshoku?" Gamagori called.

"I'm right here Gamagori," Mako's voice called out. He looked down to notice that the block of tofu just spoke to him.

"Are you...tofu?"

"Yep!" The tofu block exclaimed while wiggling around as much as it could.

"This is weird," Ryuko remarked.

"It's about to get a whole lot weirder," Bob commented. He rubbed his hands together before clapping once and spreading his arms apart. Everyone who was conscious went limp. Blue spirits in the shape of their own heads flew out of their bodies and randomly bounced around the room. The spirits made their way into random bodies in the room. Once every spirit claimed a body, everyone woke up.

The body of Tsumugu woke up and looked around. "That was trippy, I could of sworn I had out of body," He stopped, as if the sound of his own voice was off. He looked down at his hot pink speedo and freaked out, "What the shit, I'm a guy! Who the fuck has my body?"

Ryuko's body jumped up from the water tank. "Is that you Ryuko," Ryuko's body said, "It's me, Mako. Kinda wish I was tofu again, I don't think I can feel my, I mean, your feet,"

The body of Music Baby woke up and was oddly amused. Feeling her own small, but still existent breasts. Her body took a peak at the front of her diaper to confirm the host spirit's conclusion.

"Holy crap I'm a chick!"

"Who was my body?" The voice of Nonon yelled.

"How come Jakuzure has her voice?" Asked the body of Satsuki.

"Because I'm a piece of fucking tofu!" Nonon cried as she helplessly wiggled around on her plate.

The body of Gamagori, who had been holding the tofu plate set the plate down on the chairside table.

"It'll be alright, Jakuzure," Gamagori said in a soft, motherly tone, "It'll probably be just for the day, then you'll be back to normal,"

"Oh about that," Bob interrupted, "Your right...uh… I assume Sukuyo. Anyway, I was going to give this potion to Music Baby if she behaved herself, but I'm not because she tried to kill Ted. But since she is tofu, I think it'll be more than enough punishment to give what I assume to be Mataro the potion,"

"Don't tell me…," The tofu worried.

"I'm Mataro," Music baby's body exclaimed.

The tofu jumped up and down in frustration and worry as her body took the potion. A cloud of smoke enveloped the body from under the smoke, appeared a taller Nonon; wearing normal clothes and with a chest comparable to Satsuki or Ryuko at their normal selves. Mataro took the opportunity to squeeze his new boobs yet again and grinned a devilish grin. If tofu could cry, it would be flooding the room by now.

The body Sukuyo got up. "Are we finished?" She said in a stern, commanding tone.

"Is that you sis?" Tsumugu's body asked.

"Yes Ryuko, it's Satsuki," She replied, "I see that the hair color stayed the same,"

"Ha ha ha, funny girl," Tsumugu's body sarcastically laughed.

"Really though, are we done yet?" urged the body of Mikisugi.

"No," Bob answered, "The last dare is for your body to be whipped by the body of Gamagori until your dick and nipples stop glowing,"

"What?"

"I'm so sorry deary," Gamagori's body apologized, "For your sake I hope it doesn't take long,"

"I miss being goo," Mikisugi's body murmured before his day of reckoning.

* * *

The little, bald-headed bodies of Satsuki and Ryuko were huddled up by the fire in their pajamas with the big blanket wrapped around Ryuko's body; who was in desperate need of warming up after having been soaking in ice water for about ten minutes. Fortunately, Bob kept his promise immediately fixed the heating system so the manor was warm for once.

"This is nice Sat- I mean, Gamagori," Mako expressed from Ryuko's body, "I'm starting to feel Ryuko's toes again,"

"Hey, about that last dare," Gamagori started, "Sorry about that. I know you narrowly escaped death and the last thing you need was a spanking,"

"It's okay," Mako forgave, "If you had to apologize about anything though, I'd apologize about how excited you got while spanking me,"

"Wha-what ever do you mean?"

"You were jabbing me in the belly, silly,"

"Uh… well, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"When I flipped you back around after the spankings, your cheeks were red but not from embarrassment,"

"Your one to talk. So what if I liked it? We're boyfriend and girlfriend now so what's wrong with that?"

Gamagori jumped back from shock "Wait, we just had one kiss; and that was a dare. You can't say we're dating!"

"So we're not dating?" Mako glumly said.

"That's not what I meant," Gamagori blurted, "It's just that this is too fa-," Mako interrupted with Gamagori's hesitations with a kiss.

"Now the Scene is ruined," Said a soft, familiar voice. The two love birds, still locking lips, look behind them to discover the bodies of Tsumugu and Sukuyo sitting in the chair behind them, with the body of Mataro serving Sukuyo's body tea.

The love birds immediately stop what they are doing and panic out of embarrassment

"Ryuko! Satsuki! I didn't mean to just do that. Well I did, but not like that looking like you... ,"

"My deepest apologizes Lady Satsuki. I'm but a guest in your body and it was wrong of me to let emotions get the best…,"

The two in the chairs sighed. "Just don't go past first base," Ryuko requested.

"Save the Shackle Regalia for after we get our bodies back,"

"How much did you-," Gamagori stammered.

"We heard it all, Mr. Gamagori," Mataro's body said in a prim and proper manner unlike the boy at all. He turned to the real Satsuki, "M'lady, it's not everyday that an old man like myself is in the body of a child. May I run around a play fetch with the dog?"

"Yes, Mitsuzo," Satsuki answered, "I bet it was harder to make this tea being so small. You are relieved for the day,"

"Let's go Guts!" Mitsuzo cheered as the body of Barazo came running in on all fours barking in excitement. The two left to go play ball around the house.

"Hey, I wonder where the real Mataro is," Mako pondered.

"Do we really need to explain what he's trying to do right now?" Ryuko asked. Just the Gamagori's body was pulling Nonon's body by the ear while her body was only wearing a towel.

"C'mon Mom, You said yourself that I need to take more time washing myself!"

"I wonder why you have that change of heart all of a sudden,"

"Mom!"

The tofu on the chairside table next to Satsuki's tea kettle breathed a breath of relief, well… if tofu had lungs it would.

 **Hi, Ted here. Thanks for the dares folks, we really had a lot to work with this time. So much I think I may have cut a dare or two out by mistake so I apologize if I did. I figured the whole body swapping part would be a bit confusing so I held that off more toward the end but this was a good one to write. Hope you enjoyed. Oh, and to answer Ac's question, I'm fairly new to being a semi-regular anime watcher and I am already learning about the endless abyss that is the plan to watch list. I'll get around to watching Assassination Classroom. I promise you that.**


	5. Captain InsaneGuy Vs The Megalodon

**Hey everyone, just in case there was any confusion, unless otherwise specified, everything is reset before the beginning of the next chapter. No need to waste dares wishing for everyone to have previous dare effects** **reversed.**

* * *

It was the perfect day out at sea on the Kiryuin Megayacht. The Sun was high in the clear, blue sky and the wind was perfect for a random sailing expedition to nowhere. The taste and smell of the salt of the sea was present, but not a bother and rather a bit relaxing. Overall, it was a nice change of scenery from Kiryuin Manor. Although one thing was very off, Bob was in a pirate outfit rambling about catching a long extinct creature, the Megalodon.

"Arr," Bob exclaimed, "I can jus' sense th' Magalodon now. Get out th' harpoons 'n be ready t' fire!"

Bob was rambling off to Satsuki, who was unwinding in her sunlounger and attempting to get a decent tan. With Bob being so tall and blocking the sun with his pirate ramblings, this made her plans difficult.

"With all do respect Bob," Satsuki started, with her eyes still closed, "The pirate act is already starting to get old. I thought we were here for Truth or Dare, not reenacting Moby Dick with an extinct shark,"

"Ay, why nah both?" Bob responded, "'n th' megalodon ain't extinct. It could come out at any moment, ready t' swallow us up whole without much thought,"

Satsuki sighed out of frustration and took a sip from her cup of tea. This was going to be a long trip.

* * *

Inside the elegant vessel, upstairs above the dining room area was a sort of lounge. In between the staircases that led to the bottom, there was a piano where Nonon Jakuzure was playing old classics she knew, along with covers of newer songs suggested by Hoka Inumuta. She was just finishing up playing Frédéric Chopin's _Nocturne in E-flat major, Op. 9, No. 2_. After finishing the beautiful piece, she drank the rest of her champagne and turned to Hoka, who was leaning over on the side of the piano.

"Any requests?" She asked.

Hoka took a moment to think about it. "How about something a bit different. The Bojack Horseman Theme perhaps?"

"Looks like someone's in the mood to fetishize their own sadness," Nonon joked.

"Says the woman who's been wallowing in her own insecurities for the past month," Hoka smirked.

That snide remark hit a little too close to home, but she took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. She grabbed the tablet she had been using for sheet music and searched for the requested song. Once she found it, she briefly skimmed over the piece, laying parts of it out in her head.

"This one might be trickier than I thought," remarked Nonon, "I probably shouldn't have finished that glass of champagne,"

"I thought you liked a challenge," Hoka gibed.

"I can still play better than you, dweeb,"

* * *

As the melody of Bojack Horseman echoed through the interior of the yacht, Ted was merely walking about aimlessly, trying to get away from his alternate self and his pirate antics. He stopped for a moment to admire the song being played from above him, then just as he was about to move he noticed an unusually melancholy Nui Harime gazing out the window. Ted walked over to her.

"What up with you?" Ted asked, "You're a bit less… manically insane than usual,"

Nui snapped out of her daze and looked over to Ted. "I don't know why you care?"

"So something is up," Ted confirmed. He grabbed a chair from the dining table, pulled it up close, and sat in it backwards; resting his arms on the back of it.

Nui sighed. "Ever since being revived after last session, I've just felt… out of it. I don't know if it's because that airhead bested me or what, but I feel oddly… mortal. Doesn't everything reset a day or so after a session?"

"It should," Ted answered, "Even after vomiting them up last time, you should be infused with life-fibers right now. Mind if I take a look?"

"Sure,"

Ted slowly raised his hands over Nui's chest then quickly thrust his hand in and grabbed her still-beating heart. While Nui was quickly dying, Ted looked at the heart and noticed something very unusual. It was an ordinary heart with no traces of life fibers to be found. He stuck the heart back into her chest cavity and magically sealed the wound, leaving no mark whatsoever.

"So, Bad news," Ted announced as he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the blood from his hands, "I don't see a single life-fiber anywhere. At all,"

Nui, out of anger, grabbed at Ted's shirt. "What do you mean no life-fibers," Nui hissed, "I thought you said everything was reset!"

"And it usually is. Believe me, Bob and I wouldn't do this of our own accord,"

"So, can I get my life-fibers back?" Nui pleaded.

"Here's the thing, if they weren't given to you after the reset, I can't really do anything about it. I'm sorry Nui, but you're a human now,"

As the song was coming to a close, Nui Harime collapsed to her knees and, in sync with the songs last few notes, let out a wail of despair that could be heard all across the ship.

* * *

As the wailing of Nui Harime was traveling across the yacht. Mako and Gamagori just getting into the on-deck jacuzzi.

"What was that Ira?" Mako asked as she jumped in.

"Sounds like Nui Harime, I think," Gamagori guessed as he climbed in, "D-did you just call me by my first name?"

"Why wouldn't I call you by your first name?" Mako gushed, "We're boyfriend and girlfriend, and we had a very romantic night last night. If we can't call each other by first names after that, what's next?"

"I suppose you're right Mankan-, I mean, Mako,"

As Mako went up to hug the giant man, Ryuko walked over, ready to take a dip herself.

"I don't know if what I heard last night sounded romantic, Mako," Ryuko remarked.

"You heard!" Gamagori gasped.

"How could I not? Her room is right next to mine. I almost barged in there to stop whatever you both were doing to each other,"

"We're sorry for keeping you up Ryuko," Mako apologized, "I just haven't been on a yacht before and I got excited. I should have considered your feelings before that. I hope I didn't move on too fast,"

"No Mako, It's fine" Ryuko forgave while blushing a little, "Just keep it down next time. Although I didn't think you'd be up for Gamagori's kinks right away,"

"She kept insisting!" Gamagori blurted, "And what do you mean about moving on too fast?"

Ryuko paused. "Well, uh, after saving Earth, Mako and I kinda dated for about four months,"

"I thought that date you both planned was more of a girls day out kind of thing,"

"Well, once we spotted Satsuki, we had to invite her along," Mako chimed in, "But then we had a few more dates by ourselves and they were… exciting,"

"Okay, but what happened? If you don't mind me asking," Gamagori inquired.

Mako slumped her head down. "She broke up with me,"

"Why'd you go and do that Matoi?" Gamagori yelled in his usual hyperbolic fashion.

"Look, I just needed some time to work myself out," Ryuko answered, "I didn't have a problem with Mako. I love her, but I just didn't want to bog her down with my personal issues. Look, I'm happy that we were able to move on and still be best friends after that. I hope you two have a long, happy relationship,"

"Thank you," Gamagori said, "But we've only been dating for almost a week,"

"Well, if I know Mako, she'll be talking about marriage in a matter of months. She's a handful, trust me. I'll leave you two alone," Ryuko walked back inside the yacht. Gamagori looked down at Mako, who looked up at him.

"You're an interesting girl, I'll give you that," Gamagori remarked. Mako looked sort of spaced out looking at him. "Your imagining me as a groom, aren't you?"

"N-no!" Mako lied.

* * *

Overall it had been a nice day and most everyone aboard enjoyed themselves. It was late in the afternoon, a little bit before sunset, when the intercom turned on.

"All hands on deck, report t' th' bow o' th' ship fer Truth or Dare," Bob announced over the intercom from the bridge, "Any hands who don't show will walk th' plank 'n go t' Davy Jones' Locker!"

Ted barged in on Bob's shenanigans, having long been fed up with his pirate speak.

"How much goddamn rum have you been drinking?" Ted asked.

Bob started counting it out on his fingers before he eventually gave up and shrugged, "I lost count,"

"You are in no capacity to hosting this. I'm taking over for the day,"

"Be this a mutiny?" Bob fumed, "On me own ship?"

"This isn't even your ship," Ted sighed, "and this isn't a mutiny. How about this? I host the truth or Dare while you keep a lookout for the Megalodon. It can strike at any moment, can't it? It's about to get dark,"

"Aye, ye be right. Sounds good. If they disobey, be sure t' give them a good floggin'," Bob rushed out of the bridge. Ted sighed and made his way down to the bow, where everyone was just about ready to get started.

"Welcome everyone," Ted greeted, "I'll be hosting this session tod-,"

"Yeah, we know," Ryuko interrupted, "You forgot to turn off the intercom,"

"Alright, cool. With the exposition already over with, we can jump right in to these dares. I'll still enforce the same standards as Bob, but I won't be a huge dick about it either. Anyway, these first dares come from NulcearCraker and the first dare is for Mitsuzo… that's a first. Anyway, his dare is to make tea for everyone with two secret ingredients; One NuclearCracker choose and one that is left up to him," Ted then hands Mitsuzo a piece of paper with the first secret ingredient.

"It will be ready as soon as possible," Mitsuzo said. He then went off to prepare the tea.

"Alright, now as we wait on that," Ted continued, "I got a present for Satsuki," Ted pulled out from his pocket a white, flat box. He tossed it over to her and she reluctantly opened it. Inside was a familiar white Kamui.

"Hey Satsuki, it's been a while," The Kamui spoke in a feminine voice. Satsuki closed the box without hesitation an tossed it aside, "Aw, now what was that for, darling?"

"I don't want to wear you," Satsuki said, "You'll suck me dry, even if we don't synchronize,"

"Well, you gotta wear me. It's part of the dare, girl. I'll pace myself, I promise,"

Satsuki hesitated for a moment, but only because she didn't want to walk the plank, she decided to don Junketsu once again.

"Ryuko was a good host and all, but I miss your blood," Junketsu chirped, "You can just taste that stone-cold bitch attitude in the blood. Know what I mean, Senketsu?"

"Wha- well, I said there was a hint of bitterness to it before," Senketsu responded, "If that's what you mean,"

"It's good to be back," Junketsu declared.

"Welcome to Truth or Dare Junketsu," Ted greeted, "Now for Nui, you will have two eyes and be a good little loli,"

"I'm not a loli!" Nui cried, "I got bigger boobs than Music Baby over there!"

"Well, your right about that," Ted agreed, "So I'll have to age you down a bit, but consider the new eye a silver lining to your shitty day,"

With a snap of his fingers, Nui instantly looked ten years younger and had two working eyes. The new eye was merely a drop in the bucket compared to the horrible news of having no life-fibers and looking seven-years-old.

"Now a question for Satsuki and Ryuko," Ted continued, "If Ragyo was good again and Ission was alive would you like stay as a family?"

Satsuki and Ryuko looked at each other confused. "When was our mother good to begin with?" Satsuki asked.

"Yeah, and while he did lay the groundwork for us to stop Ragyo from taking over the world, we still don't really know him that well," Ryuko added, "Our family dynamic is beyond fucked up to say the least,"

"I'd ask them what they thought, but we don't bring people to life unless they are dared to do something. It's our policy," Ted flipped through more notecards, "Alright Satsuki, If you saw that Ryuko was going to die, even though she can't but let's just say she could for this scenario, would you save her? Even if it meant risking your life?"

"What kind of question is that? She's my sister, of course I would," Satsuki answered.

"Aww, Ms. Resting Bitch Face has a soft spot," Junketsu mocked.

Upon hearing that question, Ryuko spaced out. She started thinking once again about the implications of being infused with life-fibers. While she had come a long way in accepting who she is. Some aspects, such as immortality, continue to bother her.

"Ryuko? Anybody home," Ted asked as he knocked on her head.

"What do you want?" Ryuko barked.

"Damn girl, calm down," Ted bleated, "I just wanted to ask you who you'd take with you to Super Hell if you had to go back down there,"

Ryuko snapped out of her moment of melancholy. "Well, aside from the constant making out, Satsuki was good to have down there,"

"Final answer?" Ted asked.

"As long as we don't kiss,"

Ted snapped his fingers and the two sisters were handcuffed to each other. "You'll be like this until the end of the session," Ted declared, "Now for the ultimate question, who here watches hentai? C'mon, I know at least one of you do,"

Mataro reluctantly raises his hand. "Don't look at me like that, I'll watch anything with boobs!"

"Anyone else?" Ted reiterated, "Going once, going twice, done,"

Suddenly, a fiery circle appeared around Shiro. The circle opened up into a portal and a large demonic hand reached up and pulled the young man down to Super Hell.

Ted shook his head. "Tsk tsk tsk, can't say I blame him though. Honestly surprised that Inumuta didn't get dragged down,"

Nonon laughed at Ted's remark. "I know right!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Nonon, if you were forced to date someone here, who would it be?"

"I bet ya' a thousand yen it's Lady Satsuki," Uzu smirked.

"I admire Lady Satsuki, but I'm not gay!" Nonon bickered, "You just lost a thousand yen!"

Uzu reached into his wallet and threw the money at her. "I'm sorry if I got confused. Your always like, I've known Lady Satsuki for the longest, she thinks I'm special and the rest of you are super lame," Uzu mocked in a girly voice.

"I don't sound like that!"

"No, he's pretty spot on," Hoka said.

"Can we at least stop calling me Lady Satsuki? Honnouji Academy has been closed for over a year," Satsuki sighed.

"Oh you know you like it," Junketsu replied.

"We're getting off topic. Nonon, answer the question," Ted urged.

"Well it isn't that limp dick loser," Nonon sassed as he pointed to Uzu.

"Hey!"

"Goddamn! We got a schedule to keep people," Ted ranted.

Nonon sighed. "I'd pick Hoka," she mumbled quickly.

"Interesting," Ted commented, "Why is that?"

"Yes, Nonon, why?" Hoka pestered.

"I don't know," Nonon responded, "I just imagine our 'date' to be an hour and a half long battle of smartass comments being thrown back and forth and I think I'd win,"

"Fair enough," Ted said. Just as that was finished, Mitsuzo came back outside rolling a cart with multiple kettle pots of tea. He served everyone a glass and they all took a drink, then immediatly spit the tea out.

"What's in this tea?" Mako complained while wiping the taste out of her mouth.

"Why's it so spicy?" Ryuko ranted.

"Is that a bean in here?" Satsuki asked.

"My apologies everyone," Mitsuzo started, "The first special ingredient used was an extremely spicy homestyle chili,"

"And what was the second?" Ted asked.

"Sugar," Mitsuzo answered, "Also, has anyone seen Shiro?"

"Oh, your nephew is a degenerate," Ted answered, "Anyway, two of girls are going to be strapping young men, starting… now,"

Suddenly, Sukuyo and Satsuki are turned into genderbent versions of themselves. The Mankanshouku's were obviously shocked when Sukuyo turned into a guy as were the Elite Four when Satsuki was transformed as well.

"Hey," Ryuko snickered, "At least they can't call you Lady Satsuki anymore,"

"This is not funny,"

"It kinda is. Not really, but a little," Ted added, "Well, now onto CrazyMetamorph9573's dares. The first one is for Mataro. Out of all the ladies here, who do you consider to be the most irresistible?"

"Ryuko, duh," Mataro replied.

"I don't know if I should be flattered or disgusted," Ryuko commented.

"Why not both? Ted replied, "Now for little Nui,"

"What now?" Nui whined.

"Your such an adorable little psychopath," Ted remarked, "Don't worry, it's just a truth. If you love Ragyo, does that meant you actually hate her? If you hate Mako, does that mean you're actually in love with her? Do you love yourself? You did argue that they mean the same thing,"

"What are you, Sigmund Freud?" Nui snarled.

Bob popped up seemingly out of nowhere with his two sense, "I mean, if ye think about it. Mistress Ragyo was th' only elder in th' young lass's life. 'n we all know how wonderful o' a mother she be,"

"Don't give me that sarcastic pirate crap!" Nui shouted.

"Th' lass prolly doesn't even know wha' love really be. Her only purpose in life was t' be a servant fer Mistress Ragyo 'n create th' Ultimate Kamui. Aft doin' that, wha's next? Sacrificin' yer self fer th' only 'love' in yer life. 'That really be love?"

"Bullshit!"

"Ye had no other purpose in yer life. Like Ryuko, ye be a lass that be neither human or life-fiber. If Mistress Ragyo's plan went perfect. Wha' would ye do? Can nah be human. Can nah merge wit' th' life-fibers. Ye'd be all alone. I can nigh-on sympathize wit' ye takin' joy in murderin' scallywags. 'tis th' only thin' that truly made ye happy. Why nah spend yer short time on this Earth doin' it?"

"Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! I don't need a fucking psychoanalysis from a drunk guy in a pirate costume, trying to catch an extinct shark!"

Bob leaned over to Ted. "I reckon we struck a nerve, First Mate. Wha' do we do now?"

"I got this Bob, you go find that Megalodon,"

"That's Cap'n InsaneGuy t' ye!" Bob then stumbled off to search for the shark while Nui is left so angry, her eyes begin to tear up.

"That folks, is what one semester of psychology can do. You're practically a doctor," Ted joked, "Sukuyo, feel any sort of mamma bear, or I guess for now Papa bear, vengeance against Nui for all the shit she's done to Mako and Ryuko?"

"I mean sure, but look at," Sukuyo replied, "I can't kick a little girl when she's down, even if she is a murdering, incestous psychopath,"

"Your loss," Ted stated, "You and your family get these custom made Kamuis though, so there's that,"

Ted tossed white, flat boxes to the Mankanshoku's and found their own unique kamuis inside.

"What, we have to put these on?" Barazo asked.

"Duh," Ted answered.

Sukuyo put hers on first and through some unknown reason, she was transformed back into her normal, womanly self.

"I'm a woman again," Sukuyo exclaimed. She turned to her husband and son to find that they have put on the kamuis but they transformed women around Mako's age. Mako's kamui did nothing to her appearance whatsoever.

"What did you do to us Ted?" Barazo exclaimed, "Why are we both girls?"

"I don't know," Ted replied, "I didn't make the damn things,"

The box that Mako's kamui came in also had a letter in it. She picked it up, flipped it over, and saw that it was addressed to Nui Harime. Mako went up to the sobbing little girl, who was trying to wrap her head around her lack of purpose in life.

"You got a letter," Mako chirped.

Nui took the letter from her, opened it up, and the more she read it, the more she felt like crying harder. Once she finished, the waterworks truly began.

"You have my life-fibers!" Nui cried. "They were stolen… and cleaned… and made into Kamuis!" Being completely helpless as a mere seven-year-old human, she got up and beat on Mataro's thigh while she wailed, "Give 'em back! Give 'em back! Give 'em back!"

Mataro shoved her aside. Problem was, he wasn't used to the overwhelming strength a Kamui can give a person, even in its unsynchronized state. He shoved her with such force that her body flew to the other side of the bow and her head hit the railing, instantly killing her.

"Whoops,"

"What a bad day for her." Ted said, "Ryuko, your thoughts?"

"I don't care, fuck that bitch,"

"Well spoken," Ted stated, "Now for Music Baby's dare,"

"Stop calling me that!" Nonon protested.

"Relax, CrazyMetamorph feels bad for you," Ted explained, "He's giving you another chance with this," Ted pulls out a baby bottle filled with what appears to be formula.

"Is this a joke to you?" Nonon snapped.

"Alright then, if you don't want a magic bottle that happens to make you taller and give you a bigger boobs, be my guest,"

"Gimme!" Nonon snatched the bottle out of Ted's hand and sucked on the tip of it. She instantly grew about four inches taller and her boobs grew so big that it snapped her bra. Although considering her normal cup size, it wouldn't have taken much anyway.

"The more you drink, the stronger the effects," Ted commented, "Now that's all for his dares, time for Ac's dares,"

Ted snapped his fingers and Gamagori suddenly lost all of his limbs. His face was covered in the look of absolute shock.

"Alright Gamagori," Ted started, "Without any limbs, fight through a pack of savage zombie wolves who also happen to have rabies. Here's a knife,"

"This is suicide," Gamagori commented.

Ted held the knife so that Gamagori could bit down on its handle. Then he opened up a portal where the howling of zombified wolves could be heard "You're not wrong," Ted remarked as he gave Gamagori a push into the portal. Once the limbless man was in, the portal shut behind him.

"I hope Ira is okay," Mako worried, while hugging up to Ryuko.

"I don't want to say it," The male Satsuki started, "But there's no way he can make it through unscathed,"

"Yeah, he's fucked," Ted added, "Hey Satsuki, tired of being a dude yet?"

"That depends, are you going to transform me into something worse?"

"Um… yes," Ted snapped his fingers and a cloud of smoke formed around Satsuki (and Ryuko, simply due to being handcuffed together) once the cloud dispersed and after Ryuko was done with her fit of coughing, she looked up and saw the male Satsuki was replaced by what looked to be Ragyo.

"Uh, sis,"

"What is it?" Satsuki asked, "is it that bad?"

"Bitch, define bad," Junketsu interjected, "Because I think Lady Ragyo looks pretty fine to me,"

"No one asked you," Senketsu scowled.

Satsuki ran to the nearest reflective surface, dragging Ryuko along with her. She went and looked into the bathroom mirror and was horrified at what she saw. She was a perfect image of Ragyo, in every way.

"Girl, you look good," Junketsu complemented.

"Shut the fuck up, you piece of life-fiber garbage," Satsuki huffed.

"Damn, dropping F-bombs now," Junketsu responded, "You're pissed,"

"We don't need a running commentary," Senketsu sighed.

Ted popped his head in to check on the two, holding a bikini, a dog collar, and a bowl with canned dog food in it. "Hey, uh, this might be a bad time, but can Ryuko put on this skimpy dog girl bikini and dog collar, kneel down, and eat this dog food,"

* * *

After a disgusting meal of dog food, everyone was ready to move onto the next dare.

"Mako," Ted started, "Go eat Nui's corpse,"

Everyone just stared at Ted like he was fucked in the head for even thinking of such a dare.

"Yeah, that's a dare folks! Now Mako, I can cook it for you, it just has to be eaten,"

"Ew! I guess,"

Ted snapped his fingers and the body of Nui Harime was cooked well done, with a nice crispy skin that'd be delicious on chicken. Too bad it's a human corpse. Mako took out a knife and cut off one of Nui's arms, taking it over to her seat and reluctantly started eating.

"Hey Nonon," Ted called, "Ready to flaunt that new body of yours?"

Nonon had drank more of the formula since she first had it. Now she was rocking a body type similar to Ryuko's. Her face beamed with joy, even as her clothes have become too tight for her.

"Is this what I think it is?" Nonon asked.

"If what your thinking is a strip show out at sea, then yes," Ted answered.

"I don't know-,"

Sukuyo slid over to the self conscious Nonon and gave her some words of encouragement as well as liquid courage (booze) and advise as to what to do on stage.

"If all else fails just shake that ass," Sukuyo finished.

"You mean twerk?" Nonon corrected.

"Well, whatever the kids are saying these days,"

Ted pulled out his hands and chanted some magic mumbo jumbo as the jacuzzi in the middle of the bow was covered up with a flat surface with a pole sticking out of the middle. As the sun finally set and darkness began to cover the sky, neon lights and smoke machines turn on to create the familiar strip club atmosphere out at sea. As she reluctantly climbed on stage, the song _Porn Star Dancing_ by My Darkest Days began to play on the intercom.

"Can't I get a song more… tasteful?" Nonon asked.

"You're about to be stripping in front of everyone," Hoka chuckled, "What's tasteful about that?"

"Sukuyo got _Pour Some Sugar on Me_. Why do I get this song?"

"Just try not to think about it and dance, I might just make it rain on you," Hoka joked.

"Also forgot to mention," Ted announced in a DJ voice, "All the guys have got to cop a feel for on a lady and the ladies gotta cop a feel on the guys. This is a dare folks,"

Nonon tried to emulate Sukuyo's style from her dance with decent results, at least for a beginner. The crowd sorta turned into a grope fest with everybody groping away at each other whether they wanted to or not. Just as he said he would, Hoka threw a wad of thousand yen bills up at Nonon. She danced her way over to him and while she was a tad annoyed, she had gotten into it and the liquer finally kicked in.

She kneeled down by him, revealing her abundance of cleavage, and hugged him around his neck. Partly because of the dare and partly because he simply wanted to (especially after dropping ten thousand yen on her), he grabbed a quick feel at one of her breasts. She jumped back, glared at him for a moment, then copped a quick feel at the man's hardening junk. He jumped out of surprise in a similar manner. She gave him one last smirk before she went back to the pole to finish the song.

* * *

Over towards the stern of the ship, where the music blaring from the bow is faint. Captain InsaneGuy had his telescope out. He had been searching for any sign of the Megalodon all day and now that it was night, the telescope was useless. He threw the device down in frustration. As he was about to curse at the sea, he felt a slight tremor coming from beneath the ship.

"'Tis Here,"

* * *

Back at the bow, the song finished playing and Ted got back on the intercom.

"That was a wonderful performance by Nonon," Ted announced with the same DJ voice, with a fake echo as he was saying her name, "How about we have some other lady onstage before we move on to the next dare? Do I hear an-,"

Bob knocked Ted out of the DJ booth and took control of the microphone.

"Th' Megalodon, she's here! Batten down th' hatches! Man th' chase gun! Prepare fer battle!"

Ted picked himself up off the floor. "Goddammit Bob, I told you already! There is no such thing as-,"

The yacht began to rock violently. Only those with the sturdiest of sea legs could manage to stay standing. Ted simply slouched down.

"That's the Megalodon, ain't it?"

"Aye, but first thin's first. We needs t' sacrifice a maiden t' lure it out," Bob makes his way over to the stage where Nonon was desperately hanging onto the pole for dear life, "This maiden will do!" He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, but before he could make it to the water with her, Hoka tackled Bob to the floor.

"Wha's wrong wit' ye lad? Ye'll doom us all!"

"If you need a bait, how about you use the dead seven-year-old right next to you," Hoka yelled.

Bob looked at the fried remains of Nui Harime and back at Hoka Inumuta. "Arrrgh, I suppose that'll do,"

"Alright," Ted screamed, "For the next dare, I need the Mankanshoku family to fight and kill this thing!"

"Hurry, we don't 'ave much time! Satsuki! Ryuko! Divvy up yer blades amongst them!"

Ryuko split her scissors and gave the halves to Mako and Sukuyo while Satsuki gave the genderbent Barazo and Mataro her the Bakuzan Koryu and Gako respectavly. The family initialized their transformations and used their new found abilities to jump at the Magalodon as the shark came up to try to take a bite out of Nui's corpse that had just been thrown overboard. The battle was over fairly quickly. With one good slash from the four family members, the shark exploded and a rain of blood and guts followed.

"Me work here be done," Bob chorused.

"But you didn't do anything," Ryuko criticized.

Bob took his cape and ran off into the night, probably to the bar to celebrate.

"Alright, alright, just a few more simple dares to go and we're done," Ted declared, "These next dares are from Gabe2000, he says hi by the way. Who is still a virgin and who'd you lose it to or want to lose it to and just to be nice, rape doesn't count. Senketsu, you gotta answer too,"

The kamui, who wasn't being worn by his owner at the moment, jumped up "Why?" Senketsu asked, "I'm clothing, I don't have a sex drive to speak of,"

"Hey man, Gabe2000 just respects you enough to think you should have an opinion on this matter… possibly, I'm sorta putting words in his mouth right now,"

"I dunno, Ryuko, I guess," Senketsu answered, "I'm honestly just going based off of my taste for blood rather than any sexual desire,"

Ryuko tried to respond, but could only let out a loud, suggestive moaning noise.

"She seems pretty turned on by that," Junketsu said.

"No, that's just another dare by Gabe2000," Ted clarified, "Ryuko can only make sexual moans when she tries to make verbal noises,"

"This day just keeps getting weirder," Satsuki sighed.

"Ryuko, Mako, what about you two?" Ted asked.

The two girls just pointed at each other.

"So you both… nice," Ted remarked, "Satsuki?"

"If your excluding literally every other sexual encounter I've had, then I guess I'm a virgin," She answered with air quotes around the word virgin, "And if I had to lose it, I don't know. I guess Sanageyama,"

"Wha-," Uzu stuttered.

"Don't get excited," Satsuki spoke.

"Nonon, Hoka, how about you two? I saw you too on stage earlier,"

"I'm a virgin," Hoka stated.

"Yeah, me too," Nonon admitted.

"What about band camp?" Hoka joked.

"American Pie really ruined the sanctity of band camp for years to come," Nonon sighed.

"Well, who would you like to lose it too? Now, I'd like to remind you that if one were to lie, they'd feel the pain of a taser until they told the truth,"

Nonon and Hoka glared at each other. Knowing full well what their answers were going to be, but not wanting to admit defeat.

"C'mon now," Ted urged, "This isn't Kaguya-sama: Love Is War. Just tell us who you'd like to lose it to so we can move on and I can go to bed,"

The two Elite Four members sighed as they pointed at each other, satisfying the dare's requirements.

"Alright, those are all the people I care about right now. I just hope Mataro is still a virgin, because he's too young for that. Though if he were to lose it, I bet he'd take a stab at Ryuko," Ted pulled out another notecard, "The next dare is for everyone to… turn into... the food that best matches their personality,"

Ted glanced up from the notecard he was reading and everyone had been replaced with assorted food and drink items on the ground. Ted sighed at the horrible ending of this chapter. Bob stumbled outside with a bottle of rum in hand.

"Well, 'tis a tad anticlimactic, don't ye reckon,"

"You said it," Ted sighed. Just as Ted was about to toss the notecards out, he felt a notecard that had been stuck behind the previous one, "Huh, another dare? That's weird, I thought this was done," He pulled the card out and read it aloud. "Teleport everyone to Super Hell. The next episode will take place in Super Hell,"

"Arrrgh! Can th' reviewers even tell us where t' host these?"

Just as Bob asked the question, a large fiery portal appeared in front of the yacht, creating a vortex that was pulling the yacht toward it. Bob put on an additional eye-patch on his other eye, handed Ted a blindfold and a cigarette, while he got one out for himself. Ted tied the blindfold around his eyes and with Bob's matches, they lit their cigarettes and smoked them before immediately coughing their lungs out.

"Why does anyone even smoke these?" Bob yelled, out of character, while throwing the cigarette to the floor.

"It tastes like cancer but with extra steps," Ted coughed.

As they spent their final moments ranting about the uselessness of cigarettes, the vortex finally claimed the Kiryuin Megayacht and brought it down to Davy Jones' Locker.


	6. Don't Do Drugs Kids

Bob opened his eyes and took off the eyepatches. He groaned in pain as he carefully picked himself up off the warm, hard ground. To his left, the Kiryuin Megayacht was in shambles, having been completely destroyed after being sucked into the vortex. In the distance, walls of fire surrounded the area, with the occasional eruption of a lava geyser. Bob looked down and noticed he was wearing an complete pirate costume. He looked puzzled by this, as if he couldn't remember anything from the previous day. Just as he picked himself up off the ground, he saw Gamagori approaching him, limbs intact (although Bob couldn't remember that he had lost them anyway).

"Ted told me to check up on you," Gamagori stated, "Did you just wake up?"

Bob rubbed his head and noticed a sizable knot on the back of his head. It hurt like hell. "Yeah," Bob replied, "What happened?"

"You don't remember either, huh?" Gamagori responded, "I couldn't tell you myself. I was killing rabid zombie wolves with only a knife and no limbs. But before I left, we were sailing on that yacht and you were drunk, talking like a pirate, and wanting to kill a giant shark or something. Next thing I know, I return to the ship crashed in Super Hell,"

"Sounds about right," Bob agreed. As he said that, Bob's stomach began to rumble audibly.

"Ted said he found food all over the yacht, he's almost done with…," Gamagori looked at his watch and saw that the hands on the watch were spinning wildly out of control. It was as if the concept of time was non-existent in this realm, "...brunch?"

"Where's everyone else? Did they all die?"

"Knowing this game, I wouldn't be surprised," Gamagori huffed.

Bob and Gamagori made their way over to the ruined yacht. Ted had salvaged some of the dining room chairs and a table and set them up just outside of the wreckage. He was currently squeezing lemon juice into a kettle of tea and putting the finishing touches on brunch.

"Hey Bob, glad to see your up," Ted said, "I'm just putting the finishing touches on our little meal here. You two can go ahead and have a seat,"

Bob and Gamagori took their seats at the slightly damaged table and made meaningless small talk before brunch. Ted came over with three plates, all with a mysterious croquette.

"Sorry I couldn't find too much on the ship," Ted apologized, "I'm guessing these are leftover croquettes from Sukuyo and the tea I made was probably Satsuki's tea. But as a American southerner, hot, bitter tea sucks ass so I jazzed it up with a shitton of sugar and a squeeze of lemon and lime,"

"I'm sure you did the best with what you had," Bob thanked.

"Shouldn't we revive everyone?" Gamagori asked.

"Dude, there isn't enough...brunch to go around," Ted remarked, "I'd like to invite them, but just consider it an award for killing all those zombie wolves,"

"Alright," Gamagori sighed as he picked up his croquette, "I only ask that you bring them back soon… and get us out of this place,"

The three enjoyed a nice brunch. Gamagori told the two hosts about his limbless adventures killing rabid zombie wolves while Bob told tales of previous Truth or Dare games that he had hosted on people in other universes. In a matter of about fifteen minutes, the three were just finishing up their meals and were on their final glass of sweetened tea.

"You really did a Truth or Dare game on a twelve-year-old girl and her emotions?" Gamagori asked.

"Yeah," Bob answered, "At this point, how is any of this surprising?"

"Point taken," Gamagori conceded, "Now can you bring everyone back?"

"What, tired of talking to us," Bob questioned.

"Well, we are kinda keeping him and his friends prisoner," Ted interjected.

"No Ted, that's exactly what we are doing," Bob clarified, "But, we do have to start another round of Truth or Dare, so let's do this," Bob snapped his fingers and went to take a sip from his cup of tea. Although, when he went to take the sip, his lips touched a hard surface with a layer of skin.

Confused, Bob moved the 'glass' away and saw that he was holding the head of Satsuki Kiryuin, who was covered in blood and gore from various people. Bob screamed at the realization and Satsuki screamed back at him. He threw the severed head across the table and onto the ground. Satsuki's head rolled over to see a panicked Mako, lying on the ground, wondering where her internal organs are. In the corner of her eye, she could see the upper halves of Nonon and Ryuko's bodies with the lower halves being squeezed of any blood that they had. Back at the table, the croquettes transformed into the Mankanshoku's, all of them screaming in agonizing pain. Everyone screamed at the absolute horror show that had just occurred in front of them

* * *

"Sorry about that everyone," Ted apologized, "We sorta forgot what happened last time,"

"How could you forget all of this?" Ryuko argued, as she pointed to the ruined yacht and the hellish landscape that was Super Hell.

"Do you think we wanted to go to Super Hell?" Bob asked hypothetically, "Fuck no! It's hot as balls down here! As a matter a fact, we're going back to the mansion. I can enjoy some A/C, Ted can go fuck off somewhere, and the rest of you can just have a miserable time," Bob snapped his fingers, but nothing happened. Annoyed by this, he kept snapping while shaking his arm down, but alas, nothing would happen. Ted tried as well, but with the same results.

"Well fuck, we're stuck here," Bob revealed.

"That's because this was part of the last dare," a voice boomed from up above.

"Hello God," Mako greeted, "It's me, Mako,"

"I'm not God!" the voice boomed, "Although if you all decided to worship me as such, I wouldn't complain,"

"Who are you, mysterious voice in the sky?" Ted asked.

"It is I, Gabe2000, here to deliver my dares personally!" The voice echoed.

"What the fuck!" Bob yelled, "Now we gotta give every reviewer their own little cameo just to be fair! Are you happy Gabe? Are you fucking happy?"

"I will be when I have my first dare completed," the voice said, "Cast of Kill la Kill, build an idol to me out of whatever you have on hand!"

"All we have is yacht wreckage and brimstone," Hoka replied.

"Then those are the materials that shall be used," Gabe2000's voice declared, "While that's being done, have Nui sew sweaters for everyone to wear here in Super Hell!"

Nui sighed. The impromptu psychoanalysis by Bob the drunken pirate shook her to her core. On top of still not having her life-fibers, she was at an all-time low.

"Sewing," Nui sighed, "I suppose that's all I'm really good for. My life's purpose,"

"We have no time for arcs," Bob yelled, "Get to work, all of you!"

"We don't even know what this Gabe2000 guy looks like," Uzu brought up.

"Fine," The voice boomed, "I shall bless you all with an image of my likeness," From the blood red sky, a piece of paper came floating down and landed by Satsuki. She picked it up and all that was on it was the default profile picture for a Fanfiction profile.

"This doesn't help much at all," Satsuki commented.

The cast of Kill la Kill spent the next two hours building an idol that somewhat looked like the picture Gabe2000 gave them. Some of them found candles to place around the idol, while Mataro took the time to write his name out on the idol itself. While that was being done, Nui was using her sewing skills to sew everyone a sweater. She'd normally personalize each sweater for the person wearing it, but she was completely out of it today. She sewed everyone similar looking sweaters, doing the bare minimum to accomplish the dare's requirements. Once she was done, she haphazardly tossed everyone a sweater and they put it on.

Gabe2000 looked down at the idol from above. "Not bad considering what you all had. Honestly, I didn't really give a shit what it looked like. I'm just glad you put some care into it. Before I leave, Nonon must speak only in baby noises and Mataro must only speak in pig latin, because he's a bit of a pig.

"I bet it has something to do with the whole hentai thing," Ted suggested.

"You're not wrong," Gabe2000 spoke.

"isthay isyay ullshitbay," Mataro protested.

"Alright, before I leave. Anyone got an OTP?" Gabe2000 asked.

"A what?" Satsuki asked.

"One true pairing," Gabe2000 answered, "Like, two people that obviously should be together romantically,"

"You mean like me and Ira," Mako blurted out.

"That's a popular one up here," the voice said.

"So would Band Geek and Computer Nerd be an okay OTP?" Uzu asked.

"I reject that!" yelled the band geek and the computer nerd. The band geek was instantly shocked for not making baby noises

"That's what happens when you don't follow the dares, Nonon," the voice echoed, "But to answer your question Uzu, it's really any two people who you think should be together,"

"And to add to that, it doesn't even have to make any logical sense," Bob added, "So if you thought Ryuko and Nui should somehow be together, well, I can't stop love,"

"Who in their right mind would think that's a good idea," Ryuko asked.

"Who said anything about being in the right state of mind?" Ted asked.

"With that, I take my leave. Keep up the good work you two," The voice said to the two hosts, "Keep these sessions coming," With that last line, the voice in the sky faded away.

"Well, that was an unexpected surprise," Bob commented, "What do you all think about Gabe2000?"

"Fuck him," Ryuko stated.

"I wouldn't get too angry at our reviewers," Bob warned, "I know you all hate me, but they are the ones actually having bad shit done to you. I just facilitate it. Now we move on to some dares Ac. He wants Nonon to take a steamy shower in front of everyone,"

Nonon reached for her magical buxom bottle, which she took a real big swig of, for confidence. As she walked to the shower that Bob had pulled from the yacht, her height and breast size got bigger again. Once she turned on the water and began to undress herself, her boobs and height instantly went away.

"What the-, I mean, goo goo?" Nonon yelped.

Then she started to shrink even more. Once she was done, all that could be seen was a small wiggling mass underneath a layer of clothing. Hoka went up to what was Nonon and found that she had been turned into an infant. Ted was looking back on a previous dare for insight into this situation.

"Apparently, too much buxom formula results in instant regression back to infancy," Ted stated.

Hoka couldn't help but to chuckle. "Just like the tale of Icarus, you flew too close to the sun," He began to tickle her belly. "Who flew too close to the sun? You did. You did!"

The Music Baby slapped his hands away and screamed.

"I guess she still has all her memories," Bob stated, "So she knows you're still an asshole,"

Hoka shrugged. "I wouldn't have it any other way,"

"How about if you were turned into a tealish colored puppy dog?" Bob asked.

"Wait, what does that have to do with anything?" Hoka asked.

Bob held his hand out in the shape of a gun. "It has to do with this dare," He fired the finger gun and a beam of energy transformed the computer nerd in an adorable little puppy. The Music Baby laughed as his transformation was complete. All the nerd puppy did was growl.

"Ryuko, drink this," Bob tossed her a vial of strawberry colored liquid. Ryuko reluctantly drank the liquid without question because, what the point of refusal?

"Alright, what's it going to do?" Ryuko asked, "Make me ten-years-old? Make me a man? Cause my tits to swell up to the size of cars?"

"Oh no, nothing that crazy," Bob answered, "It's just an extremely powerful aphrodisiac,"

Ryuko just paused. "Oh shit,"

"Enjoy that," Bob cackled, "Gamagori, remember that one guy who stole that one-star uniform?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"Remember how you fell out the window after him?"

"Yes, I did that because running wasn't allowed in the halls,"

"I want you to do that for me, but land on Mako over there," Bob commanded. Suddenly, Gamagori found himself falling from the sky. In a matter of seconds, he landed belly first on his little girlfriend.

"Are you alright Mank-... Mako?" He stammered.

Mako was obviously a bit woozy after the impact, but she gave him a thumbs up.

"Hey Mako, while you're there," Bob started, "Go ahead and slap yourself about every minute or so," He turned toward Nui to give her a dare involving overdosing on illegal drugs, but found that Nui and Ted were taking turns with a bong, "Way to jump ahead assholes. And why are you smoking Ted?"

"It's not really smoking if I do it here," Ted answered, "I can't do it in real life, I got a career. Fanfiction and drinking are my only escapes,"

"But it's impossible to OD on pot," Bob stressed, "That's the dare!"

"True, but it is illegal," Ted pointed out, "Besides, we used up all the meth when we mixed it into the aphrodisiac,"

"You gave me meth!" Ryuko yelled.

"That explains the weird flavor," Senketsu commented. Senketsu forced himself off of Ryuko. Only leaving her in her bra and panties, "Sorry Ryuko, but I don't wish to be strung out too,"

"You're not helping!"

Bob set up a large screen and projector and turned it to Youtube. In the search bar he typed in, Kill la Kill bloopers and clicked the first link. When the video played and the first thing they saw was Satsuki saying "Life-fiber override! Here is my vagina!" Satsuki knew this was going to be ridiculous. There were some legitimately funny moments in this video. Anytime Mako and Gamagori were on screen, something sexual between the two was always mentioned and it garnered laughs of agreement out of the couple.

By the end of the video, Ryuko was starting to feel the effects of the meth-laced aphrodisiac kick in. Her blood pressure increased, she felt her heart start to race, and all she could think about was getting laid.

"Alright Uzu," Bob started, "We all know you are… vertically challenged in the penile department. So do you want this potion that'll give you a big, swingin' dick?"

"I don't know, the side effects could be-,"

Suddenly, out of impulse, Ryuko slid up by Uzu and circled her finger around his chest. "C'mon you know you want to," She said seductively, before coming to her senses momentarily. She pushed him aside and pulled her hair in frustration. "Snap out of it, Ryuko!" She yelled to herself.

"Are you alright Ryuko?" Satsuki asked.

"I don't know Satsuki. I'm high on meth and I'm so horny that I'd want to fuck that wierdo. What the fuck do you think!?"

"Calm down Ryuko," Satsuki said, "It's just the meth talking,"

"You know Bob," Uzu spoke up, "I'll take that potion,"

"Here you go," Bob handed him the potion and Uzu drank it up immediately. At first he felt the bulge in his pants increasing in length and girth. It was all fine and well until a loud bang was heard. Next thing everyone knew, Uzu was curled up in fetal position, writhing in pain.

"My dick!" He cried, "My fucking dick blew up! Oh God why!?"

Bob laughed at the dickless man before moving on. "Hey Aikuro, ain't it hot here?"

"It is," Aikuro replied, "I just want to take off this sweater and relax,"

"Well, how about you do that and go skinny dipping...," Bob suggested. At the mention of skinny dipping, Aikuro immediately stripped himself of all clothing, leaving him with his glowing nipples and shining cock that conveniently doubled as a censorship tool.

"...in this pool of wet feces," Bob finished. He pointed over to a smelly pool of shit that formed outside of smelling range from the main group. Aikuro slumped his head and reluctantly walked over to the pit.

"These next dares are from CrazyMetamorph9573," Bob announced, "He wants Ryuko and Satsuki to dress up in girly doll clothes and speak baby talk, but I'm only going to make Satsuki do it because I think the stuff we gave Ryuko was a bit too strong,"

Ryuko slid up by Bob. "Oh Bob, I'll be anything you want me to be," Ryuko purred.

"As awesome as that sounds," Bob conceded, "I'm not a big fan of OC's banging main characters, especially if it's a self-insert. That just sounds like shitty wish-fulfillment. Sukuyo, give Nui a hug,"

Sukuyo looked over to Nui Harime, who just seemed to have lost all hope in the world. Smoking pot just to cover the crushing reality that is her existence. As much as Sukuyo disliked Nui for all the bad things she had done, she couldn't help but feel bad for the poor girl. She went up to the girl and wrapped her arms around her in a warm embrace. Nui being quite literally dazed and confused, partly from all the pot she had just smoked, but also from this warm feeling she never truly felt before (that was only amplified by being really stoned). Nui began to tear up. _Is this love?_ She thought. She hugged Sukuyo back, never wanting to let go.

"Aww, heart-warming," Bob commented, "Now Mako, force feed her your mom's croquettes! While your at it, we'll start the dares from NuclearCracker and give Nui some of this cold chocolate to wash it down,"

Sukuyo stopped hugging Nui and stepped away from her. Then Mako went in and eagerly crammed croquettes down the girl's throat. When she couldn't swallow anymore and began choking, Mako poured the cold chocolate down her throat to add a little bit of moisture. After about a minute of this Nui passed out.

"Did I kill her again?" Mako asked, "I didn't mean to,"

"No you didn't," Bob answered, "That cold chocolate you gave her will have her regain her life fibers,"

"What the fuck!" Ryuko yelled, "That's it! I'm fucking Ted!"

"Wait a minute, I don't consent to this," Ted blurted.

"Let me finish," Bob continued, "She'll get her life-fibers back, but she won't have any memory of being evil. So she won't really remember anything, at all,"

"That's unfortunate," said a familiar voice. Off in the distance, silhouettes of a pack of hellhounds being led by a woman on a three-headed dog came running toward the wrecked yacht. The familiar voice shook Satsuki to her core and made Ryuko more pissed off than she was horny. The figures came closer and it was apparent that the voice was from no other than Ragyo. The only problem was she looked like a child. Satsuki, out of either nervousness or simply because it was funny, began to chuckle.

"That's no way to greet your mother," The little Ragyo scoffed as she climbed down from the three-headed dog. Ryuko ran up to her with her scissor blade and aggressively cut her little mother into pieces until there were no pieces left to cut. Then she continued cutting after that.

"Ryuko! Stop!" Satsuki yelled, "She already dead! There's nothing else to cut! Calm down!"

"You can't tell me what to fucking do, bitch!" Ryuko snapped.

"Ryuko, please," Senketsu started, but he was interrupted by Ryuko silently threatening to cut him with her scissors. Senketsu turned toward the hypothetical camera, a spotlight shined on him and the background darkened, "My dear friend Ryuko was given a large dose of meth and ever since then, she's been acting crazy. Suddenly she wants to sleep around with everyone she talks to and she's been hyper-aggressive, even to her dearest friends and family. This is a warning to anyone who is reading. Don't do meth. It's not worth it. Smoke weed and chill out,"

"Alright," Bob continued, "Now we need the Elite Four to fight Satsuki,"

Gamagori and Satsuki looked over to the other Elite Four members. He saw that the baby Nonon was falling asleep on Hoka the puppy and Uzu was grieving over his missing penis.

"I think the Elite Four are ill-prepared at the moment," Satsuki said.

"Yeah, I'll let it pass for this session." Bob stated, "We'll make it up next session. In the meantime, I have a question for you Satsuki. Would you rather live in your male body or Ragyo's body? Apparently something like that happened last session. I gotta look back on the transcripts,"

"I'd honestly take being a man anyday over being in that vile woman's body," Satsuki answered.

"Wait," Ted yawned, "Wasn't she supposed to talk like a baby,"

"Oh shit," Bob realized. Satsuki was given an extra painful shock to make up for the time he missed, "Hey Mitsuzo, wanna be twenty again for the next few days? Actually, I can just make you twenty again anyway if you refuse the free kamui,"

"Ah, to be young again," Mitsuzo reminisced, "It's a deal,"

Mitsuzo's wrinkles faded away and he was suddenly an attractive young man. Ryuko slid up next to him. She tried to offer Mitsuzo a good time, but before she could talk, Mitsuzo interrupted.

"My apologies," Mitsuzo said, "Even though I am young again, it would be wrong of me to take advantage of you. Especially since you are m'lady's sister,"

Ryuko groaned in frustration. "You're all a bunch of fucking clam jammers!"

Bob looked at the dares and noticed he was done. He threw the note cards off to the side, gave one of the hellhounds a pat on the head and instantly teleported all the survivors to the living room of Kiryuin Manor, except for Aikuro, who was sent to the showers.

"Allright, that concludes the Truth or Dare session for the day," Bob looked out the window and noticed it was nighttime, "... or night I guess," With that, Bob and Ted disappeared and left the manor to the cast.

* * *

While they slept in the living room, the baby and the puppy returned to their normal selves. Nonon woke up to find that she had been resting her head on top of Hoka's side while he laid down, slightly curled up. She wanted to complain, but couldn't find a reason to other than to keep up the act of playful hostility that the two shared. She decided it wasn't worth it to disturb the peace and rested her head again.

"Feeling comfortable," Hoka asked. His eyes were closed, but he had been awake too. Nonon jumped up off of him.

"How long were you awake, you creep?" Nonon questioned.

"I woke up right after you did," Hoka answered, "I'm surprised you didn't scream or something. I guess you really do want to sleep with me,"

"S-shut up! You do too!"

"And… what exactly is wrong with that?"

Nonon froze up. "Well, uh… my, uh...huh?"

"Maybe I was a bit too forward,"

"No, it's fine," she said, "Do you really like me though? I don't have big boobs anymore,"

Hoka sighed. "Look, I was… interested in you for a while, but we had a job to do and I couldn't let my emotions get in the way. Now that that is all over, I suppose I could try a relationship. If you don't mind,"

"You are terrible at asking girls out," Nonon smiled.

"And you act like a typical tsundere," Hoka quipped.

"Shut your mouth!"

"You're only proving my point,"

* * *

Nui Harime woke up from her bed, confused about everything. Why did she only have one eye? She didn't know where she was, she didn't know who she was and she didn't know what that strange grassy smell was. Her only memory was a vague recollection of a woman giving her a hug. She climbed out of her bed and walked out of the room in her pajamas, in search of anyone really. She eventually came across Mataro and Guts walking down the hall. Nui tried to speak to them, but the two made a 180 and quickly walked away, ignoring Nui's cries for help.

"What's going on?" Nui asked herself, "Why can't I remember anything?"

She kept wondering the halls for what seemed like forever. She eventually made her way to the living room where Hoka and Nonon were kissing and talking.

"Uh, hello," Nui greeted meekly, "Can anyone tell me where I am? Or who I am?"

"Get lost Nui," The couple said in unison. Nui did as she was told. While they were very rude about it, at least she learned what her name.

She made her way outside to the patio out back. There, Satsuki was having tea with Sukuyo and they were both having a pleasant conversation. Satsuki noticed Nui first and glared at her, out of instinct. Nui backed down from Satsuki's menacing glare.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Nui wept, "I just can't remember anything,"

"Wait," Satsuki said, "You don't know that your Nui Harime, Former Grand Couturier of the now-defunct REVOCS Corperation? You were brought back to life to play in this twisted game of Truth or Dare,"

"I just learned that my first name was Nui a minute ago,"

Sukuyo couldn't help but weep for her. "It really is true. The poor girl doesn't remember a thing,"

"That may be true, but what if the old Nui Harime is still in there," Satsuki asked, "What if Nui's entire personality is the result of nature and not nurture,"

Sukuyo got out of her chair and hugged the amnesiac girl. "If she has no memory of what she was, it'd be wrong to treat her like she badly,"

Nui had a lot of questions. Was she bad before she lost her memory? If so, how bad was she? What was REVOCS? What's a Grand Couturier? What did the stern woman mean by twisted game of Truth or Dare? But when she received Sukuyo's hug, her worries temporarily ceased to be and she only had one question?

"Are you my mom?"

Satsuki was halfway through sipping her tea and hearing that question made her choke on the drink for a moment.

* * *

Ryuko opened her eyes to find she was naked and in another person's bed. Her body ached all over, especially in the nether regions. In a groggy daze, she turned over to her left to see Mako in an apron with a tray carrying three plates of breakfast. Ryuko immediately jumped to conclusions.

"Did, did we have sex last night?" Ryuko asked.

"Yep!" Mako beamed.

"What about you and Gamagori?" Ryuko panicked.

"I wouldn't worry about that," yawned the voice of Gamagori. Ryuko flipped around and saw the man sitting up in bed and stretching. Ryuko laid back, stunned at the revelation she just had.

"Meth, not even once," She said to herself. She then proceeded to have the most awkward breakfast of her life.


	7. Ragyo is Back Bitches!

It was a nice Summer day at Kiryuin Manor. It had been two days since the cast of Kill la Kill returned from the bowls of Super Hell. The young butler of the manor, Mitsuzo Soroi, was giving Nui Harime a haircut. Nui had complained to her adoptive mother about her large ponytails getting in the way so they were in the dressing room getting that done. Outside, Satsuki was wearing the sassy Junketsu and fighting off the Elite Four to make up for a dare they couldn't do last time. All the while, Ryuko was trying to avoid Mako and Gamagori after their special night. She had just barely managed to get away by jumping into a random room as she could hear Mako walking through the hallway.

"You can't hide from them forever, Ryuko," Senketsu advised.

"I know," Ryuko sighed, "But you weren't there for breakfast. That was weird,"

"He's right, I'm sure you're the only one who's embarrassed," Said a motherly voice.

"Okay, your probably right but-," Ryuko then turned around to notice she was in the changing room where Nui was getting her haircut. The person who she responded to just happened to be Sukuyo, "Sukuyo! Wha-what are you doing here?"

"I'm just here with Nui to get her first haircut," Sukuyo beamed, "Isn't she adorable?"

Mitsuzo was done cutting her hair, which was cut down to about a foot or so past shoulder length, and was now going over her hair with a curling iron. Ryuko was aware that Sukuyo sort of took Nui under her wing, but she simply didn't like.

"Sure," Ryuko remarked, "But just so it's on the record, I think what your doing is a terrible idea,"

"I know that you don't like me being Nui's mom," Sukuyo started.

"You consider her your daughter now!" Ryuko gasped.

"She thought I was her mom," Sukuyo argued, "and what was I supposed to do, give her back to Ragyo? No! And you know that's a bad idea too! If I don't help her, who will?"

"She's right Ryuko," Senketsu agreed, "It's either hope Nui turns out good with Sukuyo, or she goes back to Ragyo where she is guaranteed to turn out evil again,"

Ryuko sighed. "I guess you're both right," She admitted, "I still don't like it though,"

Mitsuzo was finished styling Nui's hair and released her from the chair. Nui hesitantly went to Ryuko, with her head hung low.

"Mom told me about what happened before I lost my memories," Nui started, "And after she told me that, I don't want to remember. She told me that I killed your Dad. I know this will never bring him back, but I just want to say I'm sorry. I understand if you hate me and that's fine, but I never want to go back to the girl I used to be. I'm going to use this opportunity to start a new life and become a better person. If I do become bad, I want you to cut off my arms and kill me," Nui reached out her hand for a hand shake, "Promise?"

Ryuko was confused. This complete 180 personality shift was jarring to say the least. She reluctantly shook Nui's hand.

"You better not start shit," Ryuko warned, "I will not hesitate to finish you,"

"I'm glad you are both able to get along," Sukuyo effused, "Now Ryuko, about your date night with my daughter and her boyfriend…,"

"What was that?" Ryuko lied, "Sounds like Satsuki is calling for me. Sorry Mrs. Mankanshoku, I got to go," She then promptly ran out of the room and away from yet another awkward situation.

"What was that about?" Nui asked.

"I'll tell you when your older," Sukuyo responded.

"But I'm seventeen!"

* * *

Outside, Gamagori, Nonon and Hoka were sitting on the sidelines in track uniforms while Satsuki and Uzu were battling it out. Satsuki, while so far victorious, was getting tired. Fighting four people while a sassy kamui was sucking the blood out of her at an alarming rate wore the woman out fairly quickly.

"Can you slow down?" Satsuki asked her kamui.

"Girl, your blood tastes so good though," Junketsu argued.

"I see your getting weak on me Lady Satsuki," Uzu taunted, "Don't pass out, I want to beat you at your best, fair and square,"

"Then why don't you stop talking and start swinging," Satsuki taunted back.

The two charged at each other with full force. Who ever could land the first blow would surely win this battle. Unfortunately for the two of them, Bob appeared in the middle of the two fighters, grabbed Uzu and threw him at Satsuki in what he'd lie and claim to be self-defense. Uzu lifted himself up off the ground, but one of his hands felt a soft, fleshy lump. When the dust settled, he knew he fucked up. Satsuki recovered and in a fit of anger at the accidental violation, she kicked him off of her and he skidded across the yard, landing right in front of his elite counterparts.

"What are you?" Hoka asked, "A harem protagonist?"

"That would imply women were interested in him," Nonon added.

Uzu jumped up to defend himself. "I'll have you two know I was voted sexiest male member of the student council three years in a row!"

"Sure, but they didn't know you personally," Nonon quipped.

"Quiet children," Bob yawned, "We're starting this shit,"

"I missed the times when you only had one person daring us," Satsuki sighed as she walked over to the group.

Bob walked into the living room and called everyone to him. Everyone sighed at the frequency of these sessions, with the exception of Nui, who had no idea what was going on. She leaned over to Mataro, who she knows as her little brother.

"What's going on?" Nui asked.

"It's Truth or Dare time," Mataro explained.

"Like Spin the Bottle?" Nui asked.

"Uh… you'll see,"

* * *

"Alright, before we get started," Bob announced, "I'd just like to reintroduce the newly brain-wiped Nui Harime to the Truth or Dare game. For her sake, let's hope this drastic change in personality results in less lethal dares. Now, for my next announcement… the revival… of RAGYOOOOOOO KURRRRYYYUUIIIINNNNN!"

Ragyo's theme song began to play on the intercom, but Ted had forgotten the iconic part of the song was about a minute or so ahead in the video so it was a slow start. Ted asked Ragyo, who was hidden by a veil of smoke, to wait while he worked on the audio. Ragyo quickly grew bored of this and walked through anyway.

"It's good to be home," Ragyo said. Even though the musical part of the entrance was botched, she still shined bright as usual. She looked at the crowd to see all the familiar faces that had opposed her. She noticed that Mitsuzo looked considerably younger however.

"Mitsuzo, You look great, reminds me of when you were first hired," She then noticed Nui lacking her signature hairstyle, "Nui, why would you go and have your hair cut like? It doesn't suit you,"

Nui backed up from the strange woman and held onto Sukuyo. "Mom, who is she?"

"Mom?" Ragyo exclaimed, "What did they do to you? This lowly human isn't your mother! I created you!"

"We sorta wiped her memories," Bob explained, "She literally doesn't remember the past seventeen years of her life,"

"Well that's unfortunate," Ragyo smirked, "Guess I'll have to-,"

"Diese Welt ist Grausam!" The intercom finally blared.

"Just shut it off Ted," Bob yelled, "We already fucked it up,"

"I'll say," Ragyo jeered, "That was quite possibly the worst entrance I've ever made,"

"I don't need your lip you fucking bitch!" Ted yelled while turning off the music.

"That's no way to talk to a woman in her own home," Ragyo retourted.

"Legally it's Satsuki's home, but while we're here it's ours!" Ted proclaimed.

Ragyo merely scoffed at Ted while she moved onto see Ryuko and Satsuki standing up, awaiting their inevitable greeting.

"Why if it isn't my two lovely daughters," Ragyo started, "Satsuki, I see that you've keep the Manor looking nice and Ryuko you look as rebellious as ever,"

"Fuck off," Ryuko scowled, "Nobody wants anything to do with you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but can the session start already?"

"Good idea, Ryuko," Bob smiled, "Our first dares come from our good friend Gabe2000. But last session, when asked what you all thought of him. Ryuko rudely replied 'Fuck him'. His response... he's totally down with that,"

"He knows that's not what I meant!"

"Whatevs, Just tell us about your special night with Mako and Gamagori," Bob told Ryuko.

"W-wait, you left. How did you… how did he…," Ryuko fretted.

"We monitor the premises twenty-four seven for any bits of gossip that the reviewers can reference for their dares, or just simply be entertained by them. Don't worry, the transcriptions don't go into the steamy details, which is probably why he is asking about them," Bob explained.

"Steamy details?" Ragyo grinned, "Do tell,"

Ryuko shuddered. "Well, as you all know, I was given an aphrodisiac that was laced with meth,"

"Actually," Bob interrupted, "It was mostly meth, the aphrodisiac part was really just for color and flavor at that point,"

"Wow, thanks to you I'm low-key addicted to meth," Ryuko chided.

"So you had a good night?" Bob inquired further.

"Of course I did, I was high for twelve hours and in a threesome for the last two," Ryuko answered, "Although my memory around the end of the night is a bit fussy,"

"It all started as a compromise between Ryuko wanting to get with Mako and myself not being happy that my girlfriend's ex is sleeping with her," Gamagori elaborated, "As a matter a fact, it was all really Mako's idea,"

"I just wanted everyone to be happy!" Mako bubbled, "But I haven't seen Ryuko much since yesterday morning. Ryuko, are you avoiding me?"

"I wasn't expecting to deal with this right away," Ryuko said to herself. She took a deep breath, "Yes Mako, I've been avoiding both of you. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed myself. Hell, I could hardly walk yesterday. It's just that… I… still have some feelings for you and… I thought I may have ruined things between you two. That and I never imagined sleeping with Gamagori,"

"You didn't ruin anything Ryuko! Things have actually gotten better! I started doing yoga, I learned how to do that thing you did with your tongue. Ira replaced the fraying ropes…,"

"Can we stop talking about her sex life?" Mataro begged while covering his ears.

"I agree," Bob said, "It's time to move on anyway. Everyone take turns giving Nui a piggyback ride while Hako and Nonon put these shirts on," Bob tossed the two he just mentioned shirts that matched their color palette. They put the shirts on and noticed that they had words on the front.

"Nonon is my mistress," Nonon read off of Hoka's tealish colored shirt, "Damn right!"

"Hoka is my man-bitch," Hoka read off of Nonon's pink shirt, "I object to this!"

"Your objection falls on deaf ears my friend," Bob replied, "Now for Guts to be gifted to ability to speak,"

"What?" Guts said, he then realized his bark came out as an English word, "Woah, I can talk!"

"Guts can talk!" Mataro cheered.

"This is so awesome! Thanks Bob, thanks Gabe. I will put my voice to good use!"

"Cool, you can be the officiant for the Mankanshoku's while they renew their vows,"  
Bob declared, "Not all of Gabe2000's dares are evil or perverted, just most of them,"

A wedding alter suddenly appeared and Mr. and Mrs. Mankanshoku were standing in front of it, with Guts standing on a podium between the two. Everyone else was sitting in the audience waiting for the ceremony to start.

"Life has certainly brought you wonderful blessing," Guts started, "And harrowing challenges, but even after nearly nineteen years of marriage, you're both still together. And here on this day, you will be renewing the vows you made nearly nineteen years ago, in front of your friends, your children, and also a few enemies because of our weird circumstances. Barazo, if you may begin,"

Barazo pulled out a piece of paper with his vows. "Sukuyo, ever since the day I saw you twirling around on that pole, I knew we were destined to be. I vow to take care of you and our unborn child, uh, I mean, our two kids and our newly adopted, amnesiac daughter. When you are ill, I vow to take you to a real doctor because my surgery skills are subpar at best and finally I vow to stay fit and…," He read over the final vow and immediately tossed it aside, "I love you,"

"Now for you, Sukuyo," Guts said.

"Barazo, ever since you came in throwing big wads of yen at me, I knew that you would be the love of my life. And it was all confirmed shortly after when we found out I was pregnant with Mako. I vow to be a loving, caring housewife and not return to stripping. Whoops, I broke that last part. I vow to always have my signature croquettes ready for you when you come home from another awful day at work. Finally I vow to do…," She read over the rest of the vow and immediately tossed it aside as well, "I love you,"

"You may now kiss the bride," Guts declared.

The couple kissed at the altar and everyone cheered. Satsuki leaned over to Ryuko. "Are those really their vows?"

"They're an odd bunch," Ryuko answered.

After the ceremony, Bob cleaned everything up in an instant and everything was back to normal.

"Now that we're done with that, let's start on NuclearCracker's dares," Bob announced, "His first question is, even if you all suffer all kinds of hell here, do you all still have some fun? Be honest,"

"Well, not everyday is terrible," Satsuki answered, "But so far this has just been a hellish experience,"

"The only decent days are the one where you aren't around," Ryuko quipped.

"I must say though, some people have certainly benefited more than other," Mitsuzo added, " For example, I'm over thirty years younger and Ms. Harime has been given a second chance at life, albeit with amnesia. For some, relationships have bloomed like in the case of Mr. Gamagori and Ms. Mankanshoku. For others, it has simply been a constant reminder of personal issue one my have, such is the case with Ms. Jakuzure and Mr. Sanageyama. But aside from myself and a few others, these good times have been nothing more than a silver lining,"

"Well said man," Bob applauded, "Now for a chocolate fountain," Bob snapped his fingers and a large chocolate fountain appeared in the middle of the living room. He then tossed Nui a cup and asked her to take a drink from the fountain. She held the cup out of a stream of chocolate and she did as she was told. It was delicious and had no ill side effects at all.

"Now for Senketsu," Bob continued, "The question was going to be, are you lonely because your the only talking kamui here, but I think I forgot to take away Junketsu's personality,"

"I wish I was the only talking kamui," Senketsu replied, "This Junketsu is a sassy bitch,"

"And you're a one-eyed, stank ass kamui who's worn by a dope fiend, Junketsu replied.

"I didn't say I wanted to do meth again!" Ryuko protested.

"But I bet you're thinking about it right now, huh?" Junketsu replied back.

"You're… not wrong," Ryuko hesitated, "Wait! This isn't even about me!"

"See what I mean," Senketsu said.

"I see," Bob agreed, "I'll leave this question up to the reviewers. Do we want to keep sassy female Junketsu or are you all willing for a more stern, down to Earth, male Junketsu? Now let's move onto CrazyMetamorph9573's dares and he wants to know how Nui is adjusting to her new family. Are you getting along with your siblings? Is Guts giving you any trouble? Have you made matching sweaters for you and your mom?"

"That's a great idea!" Nui exclaimed from on top of Barazo's shoulders, "I wanna make everyone in the family sweaters!"

"Do you even remember how to sew?" Ragyo mentioned.

"I-I can learn," Nui muttered, "But to answer your question sir, my family has been wonderful! Mako and Mataro have been nothing but kind and helpful to me. Guts is a cute little doggy and I'm so happy he can talk now! I'm just so happy!"

"Such a waste of potential," Ragyo scoffed.

"You're just jealous that Nui is happy with us," Mako defended.

"Yeah, your nothing but a mean old bitch!" Mataro added.

"You're an awful mother!" Sukuyo added.

"And that outfit you wore when you introduced yourself at Honnoji Academy made you look like a clown!" Barazo added.

"Uh… I got nothing to add," Guts said, "You all pretty much hit the highlights,"

"I don't need to take this talk from you!" Ragyo shouted, "Not in my house!"

She reached out her hand in an attempt to stab Sukuyo in the heart, but before she could, Ryuko was there with her scissors. Just before her hand reached Sukuyo's chest, Ryuko was able to make a clean cut just above Ragyo's elbow. The cut arm's momentum kept it moving forward, but without Ragyo's power behind it, it did nothing. A violent gush of blood burst from where the cut was made, showering the Mankanshoku's in it.

"I don't trust Nui, but I sure as hell don't trust you with her," Ryuko yelled.

"Ew! Ragyo's arm blood is getting mixed in with the chocolate fountain," Bob cringed.

As everyone was distracted by Bob's silly remark, Ragyo took advantage and used her other hand to take a stab at Ryuko. Ryuko jumped in such a way that Ragyo's attack missed the heart and stabbed her stomach. Ryuko decided to finish her off by cutting her in half. Ragyo's body fell over and turned to life-fibers, which Senketsu absorbed. Ryuko's wound healed up quickly.

"Wow! That was awesome Ryuko! Thanks for saving Mommy!" Nui cheered.

"It was nothing," Ryuko said, "Just don't go evil on me, alright,"

"You don't have to worry about me," Nui exclaimed.

"That's cool," Bob remarked, "Who wants to play iron the life-fiber people?"

"Look, if the dare is to be ironed, why couldn't you just say that instead of making a mediocre transition?" Satsuki asked.

"Burn," Ted blurted.

"She technically burned you too," Bob replied, "But alright Satsuki, if you insist. Sukuyo must take an iron to Ryuko and Nui,"

"Alright, get it over with," Ryuko sighed.

"But I'm not a shirt! I don't want to be ironed!" Nui cried.

"You're closer to one than you think," Ryuko muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry Nui!" Sukuyo cried while holding an iron, "I don't want to hurt you!"

"Why do you have to do this? What happens if you don't do what Bob says? Nui asked frantically.

Bob opened up a portal to a world of fire and brimstone. The screams and cries of the damned rung through Nui's ears.

"If she refuses, mommy goes there," Bob explained.

Nui, not wanting her mom to suffer, holds her arms out and awaits on the inevitable ironing. Sukuyo was holding back tears as she ironed Ryuko's stomach and then Nui's arms. The iron left horrible blistering burns wherever it touched. While Bob was flipping through notecards to start on the final batch of dares, their burns began to fade away. This impressed, but also confused Nui, who was not aware of her life-fiber infused abilities.

"Hoka, wear this helmet," Bob tossed over a seemingly normal bicycle helmet. Hoka put it on with no thought and just as he did, all the gears in his brain came to a screeching halt. Then those stopped gears kinda rusted over a little and are now in desperate need of WD-40. In simple terms, he's a fucking moron.

"What… happened to him," Nonon asked, noticing a drastic shift in Hoka's demeanor.

"The helmet made him stupid," Bob answered.

The stupid Hoka looked both ways before introducing himself, "Hi, I'm Hoka," He greeted in a very dumb sounding voice.

"I think I set the helmet a little to dumb," Bob pondered to himself, "Next time, I'll have to bump it up from Ed level. Satsuki, suck on this!"

Bob tossed a pacifier into the woman's mouth and she instantly transformed into a little toddler.

"Aw! It's a little baby Satsuki!" Mako exclaimed.

"Now Ryuko, go watch Barney the Dinosaur in the rec room with your baby sister. Be sure to sing along to all the songs,"

"I guess, let's go lil' Satsuki," Ryuko sighed as she picked up her little sister and started to walk off.

"The final batch of dares come from Ac and before we start, he asks me what is with all the psychology terms?" Bob lowered the note cards and turned to Ted, "He's right, what is up with all the psych terms, you didn't even finish a semester of psychology, you idiot,"

"Hey, I have a casual interest in the science of the human mind," Ted defended, "Besides, using big words is a shortcut to having people think your smart,"

"No shit, because if we were actually smart, do you think we'd be doing this right now?" Bob theorized.

"...Maybe on 4Chan," Ted suggested.

"Whatever, Gamagori, stop this train,"

"What tra-,"

Suddenly a train engine came chugging along, hit Gamagori, and without any resistance, kept going through the house. Gamagori was able to stop it just before the train hit the front gate of Kiryuin Manor. If he hadn't stopped hit a second sooner, he would have been crushed between the train and the barrier that prevents the cast from escaping.

"I'm impressed," Bob stated, "Good job Gamagori. Now for your girlfriend to survive the day as the size of a penny,"

Bob pinched his fingers together and Mako shrank down to the size he mentioned. Gamagori laid his hand out and Mako jumped on.

"Wow! Everything's so weird when you're small," Mako said in awe, "That fly over there seems as big as Mataro!"

"You seem to be taking this well," Gamagori commented.

"She really is," Bob continued, "Alright Hoka, go steal all the girls panties and wear them on your head,"

Hoka tried to grab at the panties Nonon was wearing but she slapped his hand away. "No! Not the ones we're wearing! Grab some from our rooms!"

"...okay," Hoka responded he then promptly walked off in search for panties.

"I really don't like that helmet," Nonon huffed.

"He's a more obedient man-bitch now," Bob said, "Now Nonon, I got a question for you. How did you feel when Shiro made your last Goku uniform so skimpy, it made Ryuko's look conservative?"

"I had just spent the last month killing COVERS in the nude," Nonon answered, "I didn't care too much then. But now that I think about it…,"

"Hey, I had to work with the limited life-fibers I had," Shiro panicked.

"Oh, while the focus is on you Shiro, would you be able to make Uzu a prosthetic life-fiber dick and Uzu, would you take him up on that offer if he could," Bob asked.

"Can we stop making fun of dick?" Uzu begged, "It's not even that small!"

"That's the most ridiculous use for life-fibers I've ever heard," Shiro mentioned, "Even if I could, there is no way I would do that,"

Bob scrolled through his phone and pushed some buttons. "Says the guy who jacks it to hentai. I'm looking through your web history right now and man it's weird... You watch Zone? Dude, you know she watches you fap, right?"

"Can we stop that?" Shiro begged.

"Not until you make Uzu a new dick,"

"I never said I wanted one!" Uzu protested.

"Alright enough shenanigans, what did everyone think about the bloopers yesterday?" Bob asked.

"It was goofy," Nonon answered, "And it seemed like Satsuki was the silliest one of them all,"

"I'm surprised I didn't explode with Gamagori, too," Mako squealed from Gamagori's hand, "Well, I would now, but only because I'm bite-sized!"

"Didn't you just quote the blooper reel?" Gamagori mentioned, "I think you said the same thing the you said in the video when Lady Satsuki was turned into a baby,"

"I did, didn't I?

"While we are talking about you two, here is an improvised scene of your voice actors asking each other out," Bob snapped his video and the video played off in their minds. After about a minute or so, they snapped back to reality.

"Funny, that was kind of one of the first things we did," Gamagori said, "I had croquettes with Mako's family. Maybe it was just coincidence,"

"The world may never know," Bob said glumly before immediately changing disposition, "Ryuko! Get back down here! You have a question!"

Ryuko came down to the living room with a cranky toddler Satsuki. "She was just about to fall asleep!" Ryuko sighed.

"Ryuko, would you like to be mortal?" Bob asked.

Ryuko's eyes lit up. Could this possibly be her way out? "Immortality is the only thing that bugs me about having life-fibers. I can't stand to think about losing everyone I know while I'm the only one left. So yes, I do,"

"Cool story, girl," Bob snapped his fingers and Satsuki's body became all gooey, slipped out of Ryuko's hands and became a little slime.

"Aren't… you going to make me a mortal?" Ryuko asked.

"Nah, it was just a truth," Bob answered, "You two can go back to Barney now," He then turned his attention to Nui, who was now on Uzu's shoulders, "Nui, eat this cake,"

Uzu was handed a plate of cake as well as a fork. He handed these up to Nui, who was eager to take a bite. Once she did however, her face turned beet-red and her mouth was so on fire that she literally breathed flames.

"Oh my God! It's so hot!" Nui cried.

"Spiced with Hellfire Powder, from the deepest depths of Super Hell," Bob rambled, "Where is Hoka?"

Just as Bob asked, Hoka came walking in with a bunch of panties on his helmet. He went over to hug Nonon.

"I did as you said Nonon! I have the panties!" Hoka declared.

"I didn't want them!" Nonon chided.

"Then you won't want this," Bob remarked, "Nonon, let Hoka pee in your mouth,"

The room instantly fell into an awkward silence. This was a strange deviation from the dares they've had from Ac this session and they were wondering why this was happening. Hoka, with no self-awareness whatsoever, began to unzip his fly before Nonon stopped him.

"No you idiot!" Nonon screamed, "I don't want to do this in front of people! People pee in the bathroom!" Nonon pushed the moron into the nearest bathroom with a shower and proceed to finish her dare.

"For the last dare, Uzu is a monkey, Gamagori is a toad, and Nonon is a snake. Goodnight Kill la Kill," Bob snapped his fingers and left. Uzu became a greenish monkey. Gamagori became a brown toad and the little Mako she was holding was now on his back. Then Hoka came running pantless out of the bathroom.

"She's a snake! Run away!" Hoka cried. Out of the bathroom, a urine-covered snake came slithering out.

* * *

Later that night, Nui was walking across the hallways when she came across Ryuko, who had just put her baby slime sister to bed.

"Hey Ryuko," Nui spoke up, "Thanks again for saving Mommy,"

"It's no big deal," Ryuko said. She continued to make her way back to her room until Nui stopped her again.

"Sorry Ryuko, but I have a question. How did we heal so fast after Mommy burned us?"

Ryuko sighed. She realized that Nui had no idea what life-fibers were at all. "So, this is going to sound weird, but there are these alien threads from outer space called life-fibers. They can be woven into clothes and make the people who wear them super strong, like me and Senketsu. But a few people, like you, me, and that bitch, have life-fibers in their bodies, basically giving them superpowers,"

Nui was confused. From an outsider looking in, it was the silliest thing she'd ever heard.

"Really? That's a little weird Ryuko,"

Ryuko sighed. She stuck her hand through her chest and pulled out her life-fiber infused heart. Nui was freaked out by this, to say the least.

"Before this game, when we were enemies, this was how you showed me that I was infused with life-fibers. May I?"

Nui nodded and Ryuko reached into her chest and pulled out her heart. Nui was amazed that they looked the same.

"So… we're the same," Nui asked.

"I guess," Ryuko agreed as she put Nui's heart back into her chest cavity.

"What about that mean lady? She turned into strings that Senketsu ate up,"

"That's a funny way to put it," Senketsu commented.

"She has life-fibers too, but she's different. She wanted to use everyone on Earth as food for the life-fibers. She's an evil woman Nui. Whatever you do, don't listen to her,"

"I won't. She's not as cool as you are!" Nui jumped up to give Ryuko a hug. While Ryuko was taken initially bugged by this. She's starting to come around to the idea that maybe Nui isn't really bad anymore. She returns the hug. Just as they finish, a toad was hopping along while Mako was riding on top.

"YIPPEE! This is awesome!" Mako laughed.


	8. 420 View Special: No Swearing in Jamaica

It was beautiful day outside of Kyoto City Hospital. The sun was high up in the air and shining bright down on the bustling city. Unfortunately for a big-bellied Nonon Jakuzure, she couldn't enjoy the weather outside because she was in agonizing pain. Following along with the nurses wheeling her into the operating room was Hoka Inumuta, reassuring her everything was going to be alright. The woman merely snapped at him, which was to be expected in her situation.

Once in the operating room, she met the doctor. He looked like a white silhouette of a man who just happened to be wearing a doctor's coat. The id card attached to his lanyard had a picture of his 'face' on a grey background. The name on the card simply read Doctor Ac. Although, these finer details went unnoticed to Nonon. The doctor set up his things, got started on the procedure, and kept telling Nonon to push. After what seemed like an eternity, the pain mostly subsided out from between her legs, the doctor held a newborn baby.

"It's a boy!" The no-faced doctor exclaimed as he handed of the baby to its mother. He set the baby down on a cloth that was laid out on her chest and wrapped the baby up in it. The blue-haired baby suddenly looked up at her.

"Mama!" The baby cooed.

Nonon screamed and before she knew it, she was out of the hospital She didn't have a baby and she still had her petite body, which was in the nude from the night prior. She was in a five star luxury hotel with a large window that took up an entire wall, overlooking the beach below. The only thing that hasn't changed was the fact that Hoka was by her side, but he was laying beside her too; waking up after Nonon's sudden outburst.

"What is it?" Hoka yawned.

"Oh… nothing," Nonon answered, "Just got startled in my dreams. That's all. Sorry for the early wake up,"

Hoka glanced over at the alarm clock and noticed it was about fifteen minutes till eleven. "I've slept in long enough," Hoka replied. He got up and changed into a pair of swim trunks, the attire for the day in the upcoming Truth or Dare session. He then went over to the large window and gazed outside of it for a bit with what appeared to be a self-rolled cigarette in hand. Nonon eventually got up from bed and walked up to him.

"You know, besides the beach, we had most of what we had here back at Satsuki's house," Nonon pointed out, "Why stay in a luxury hotel?"

Hoka lit the cigarette with a lighter. "Well, Mitsuzo needs a break too." Hoka answered, "But I think you forget the biggest selling point about this resort," Hoka took a manageable hit from the self-rolled cigarette and blew the smoke out, "We're in Jamaica,"

* * *

"LIFE-FIBER SYNCHRONIZATION! KAMUI SENKETSU!" Ryuko yelled while transforming with Senketsu.

"You really have to wear me transformed for this session?" Senketsu asked.

"Yeah, Bob said swimsuit attire then he told Satsuki and I that we had to wear our kamuis," Ryuko said, "I just feel bad for Satsuki, Junketsu is literally a blood-sucking bitch,"

"Damn right,"

The two then heard a knock at the door. "Are you both ready yet?" said the voice of what sounded like Satsuki.

"We ain't got all day bitches!" Junketsu followed.

"Be right out!" Ryuko replied. She grabbed a tube of sunscreen which will definitely be needed considering her skimpy attire, and ran out the door.

* * *

Bob had the entire resort reserved (or rather held hostage but nobody else knows that) for the cast of Kill la Kill. This is to ensure Bob could have free reign on what can be done in the resort. From smoking the devil's lettuce to sexual acts to murder, nothing was off limits, even if it is out in the open.

Some people came early to enjoy the beach before the session began. The Mankanshoku children, along with their talking dog, Guts, were trying to build the best sandcastle ever. Their parents considered this their second honeymoon and were treating it as such, having essentially partied all night and were recovering from their hangovers on the beach chairs facing the ocean. Out in the distance, the young Mitsuzo can be seen surfing on a gnarly wave. Though the wave was difficult, he maintained proper posture and stoic composure. He surfed the wave perfectly and returned to shore.

Just as soon as everyone arrived, Bob and a very stoned Ted appeared in front of the cast.

"Dude, what's the point of smoking?" Bob asked Ted as they teleported in, "It literally does nothing to you here,"

"I can dream man," Ted remarked in a stereotypical stoner voice.

"You can't dream on pot stupid, your REM cycles get fucked," Bob argued.

"That's why I can dream brah," Ted replied.

"Well you're certainly nailing the stoner role," Bob quipped as he turned to the cast, "Welcome cast of Kill la Kill! Welcome to our four-hundred and twentieth view special! We have complementary joints and bongs for those who wish to partake. Unlike Ted here, you'll feel it and it's some good shit,"

"He's right," Barazo yawned with a joint in hand. But as he said that, Bob screamed in agony as he felt the pain of thousands of volts of electricity coursing through his veins.

"Was that you Ted?" Bob angrily questioned.

"Why the fuck would I electrocute you man?" Ted defended. Just as he did, he felt the same pain as Bob and had the same reaction, "Dude, what was that?"

"While you jackasses are figuring this out, can we go back to our rooms?" Ryuko asked. Just like the two hosts, Ryuko (and Senketsu by proxy) was shocked as well, "Alright! What kind of shit are you two pulling?" After Ryuko's annoyed outburst, she was shocked yet again.

"Hey man," Ted started, "Let's think here, what about me, you, and Ryuko, would get us shocked like that?"

Bob pondered this for a second and noticed that Ted wasn't shocked this time around.

"I don't know, but you haven't been shocked this time," Bob stated, "Let's just start and try to tough it out. The first dares are from Gabe2000 and his first dare is for everyone to...stop cussing this session. Well, I guess that explains it. Although why are we included?"

"Gabe said everyone, man," Ted responded, "It's only fair,"

"This isn't supposed to be fair, this is bullshit," Bob started to throw the note cards down in a fit, but was shocked just before doing so.

"I think we found a dare that hurts you more than it hurts us," Satsuki remarked.

"Oh, you think you're real funny, don't you," Bob growled, "Hey Junketsu, it's hot out. Drink up the blood a bit more, she can handle it,"

Junketsu started to increase the rate at which she was sucking Satsuki's blood. As powerful as Satsuki's power of will was, she started to feel weak and went to lay down under a shade umbrella. Mitsuzo went to get her some water.

"Alright, next dare. Uzu, drink this big dick serum," Bob tossed the vial to Uzu and was immediately shocked again, "I can't fucking say dick!?" Then another shock followed.

Uzu drank the potion, waiting for something bad to happen, he closed his eyes. When nothing happened, he opened his eyes and noticed the large bulge in his pants. Noticing it wasn't even at its full potential, he cheered.

"Alright, gotta stop swearing," Bob said to himself, he pulled out the next note card but instead of the next dare, it was a message, "Weird, this isn't a dare. It says 'Doesn't Uzu not have a dick after I blew it up last time?' from Ac. I did not know he could do that. Oh well, back to Gabe's dares, Ryuko is to become a futa,"

"A what?" Ryuko asked.

"You're a chick with a dick," Bob blurted before he was shocked again.

"You should have just said hermaphrodite, man," Ted advised.

Bob sighed and snapped his fingers. Ryuko only had a small amount of time to grab a towel before her new genitalia slipped out of Senketsu's panties. **A/N: Weirdest sentence I've written. Change my mind.** Fortunately, she managed to wrap a towel around her waist before she accidentally flashed everyone.

Ryuko was obviously pissed. "What's with these sick, perverted fucks," Ryuko felt another shock course through her, "Was it really necessary to make it eight inches?"

"I ain't into that stuff," Bob clarified, "Oh, and it's technically nine inches,"

"Not helping!"

"Moving on, how did everyone enjoy the vow renewal ceremony?" Bob asked.

"It was nice," Sukuyo replied while blowing out some smoke, "It's nice to be reminded why you spend the rest of your life with someone and besides this game, this has been a fun honeymoon,"

"Cool," Bob said, "Hey Barazo, have you seen Star Wars: Episode 6?"

"Yeah," Barazo answered.

"Remember that outfit Princess Leia wore at the beginning? You gotta wear it,"

Barazo instantly became the worst Slave Leia cosplayer across the entire galaxy. The costume was hardly FCC compliant, but luckily the fat folds helped. Barazo, while annoyed, was pretty high at this point and as long as he wasn't being tortured, he couldn't care less. He continued to lay on the beach chair with his wife.

"Alright, now Nui must grind on Ryuko's scissor blades," Bob announced.

"Wait, right here. In front of everybody!" Nui squealed.

"Come now Nui," Ragyo interjected, "A little exhibitionism never hurt anyone,"

"Ragyo, shut up!" Ryuko shouted, "Also, the scissor blades are sharp all around, how could she grind on them anyway?"

Bob then looked down and noticed another odd note card from Ac. "Another message from Ac he says 'Ryuko's right, although she could try the handles. It's not much but it could work'. This cameo is starting to creep me out,"

Just as Nonon was wondering why Ac's presence felt so familiar and recent, she noticed a figure hiding behind a palm tree.

"Did you see that Hoka," Nonon asked.

Hoka was looking at his phone and tapping away on it, "Oh you mean the FBI?"

"FBI?" Bob and Ted shuddered in unison.

"Probably here for all the marijuana that we have," Hoka theorized.

"Why, we're in Jamaica," Uzu said.

"It's still illegal," Gamagori answered.

"I don't think that's it," Bob guessed, "It's not like I'm a dealer or anything. I have a theory. Nui, how old are you?"

"Seventeen," Nui answered.

"That's it," Bob confirmed, "They are waiting for the moment Nui puts those scissors between her legs, the second she does. The FBI SWAT team is going to take us all down. So don't do that dare Nui. We are moving onto some dares from CrazyMetamorph9573. Satsuki, still alive?"

Satsuki, despite being out of the sun and hydrating heavily, was slowly losing the battle with Junketsu. Her vision was starting to blur and her hearing slightly muffled.

"Satsuki?" Ryuko checked with concern.

"I'm fine," Satsuki wheezed.

"No, you're not," Ryuko said.

"Hey, before you're body is dry," Bob started. Although as he said that, he turned to an imaginary camera and gave it a wink, "Can you tell us if Nui had any birthdays or holidays celebrated before her memory loss,"

"I don't ever remember celebrating her birthday or anything. She'd know about major holidays, only because REVOCS made seasonal clothing," Satsuki answered.

"Thanks Satsuki," Bob thanked, "Junketsu, ease up on the girl,"

"No way man!" Junketsu sassed, "I'm almost done with this girl, and after that. I'm going to get that crazy Mako chick,"

Bob sighed. "I was going to do this during NuclearCracker's dare, but I'm cutting your existence even shorter,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Junketsu asked with lots of sass.

"A complete personality rewrite," Bob answered, "Maybe this new Junketsu's personality will be a bit more compatible with Satsuki, maybe even have a symbiotic relationship like Senketsu and Ryuko,"

"You can't do this to me!" Junketsu screamed, "I don't want to stop existing! You fucks have had it out for me from the start!" As Junketsu swore, the shocks affected her and Satsuki. "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK BITCH NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo…..,"

Satsuki passed out from the shocks that Junketsu inflicted onto her. Bob rewrote Junketsu's personality and moved on. Now all there was to do is wait for them both to wake up.

"Anyway, back to the subject of holidays and birthdays," Bob continued, "Ragyo is this true?"

"Why of course," Ragyo said bluntly, "She had an important role. There was no time for silly play time,"

"Wow, you bitch," Sukuyo murmured. She wasn't one to swear, but that's simply all she could say, even if the following shock ruined her buzz a bit.

"We were on a mission," Ragyo continued, "What's the point of celebrating life when the goal is to kill everything?"

 _Hallelujah_

"Everyone needs to celebrate their birthday! It's a holiday that's all about you! We celebrate everyone's birthday! Mom, Dad, Mataro, Ryuko, Satsuki, even Guts! So, we should all get together and celebrate Nui's birthday!"

She ended her little spiel on one knee with Nui wrapped up in one of her arms. Bob sat down the note cards.

"Uh, that was actually going to be part of the next dare. We celebrate a birthday party and give her gifts and stuff,"

"But all we have here is reggae music and weed," Mataro brought up.

"Not cool, man," Ted scolded, "Jamaica has more than just those two things. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smoke from this bong, put on some headphones, and listen to some Bob Marley,"

"Well, host the birthday at the end of the night, give everyone some time to gather gifts and such," Bob said. He looked down and noticed another note card from Ac, "Another Ac card! 'Nui's legal now'. What, I gotta prove this," Bob walked up with some kind of device and scanned Nui with it. Once the scanning was complete, Bob read the results, "Eighteen as of two minutes ago. He's right. Creepy, but right. Hand her the scissors Ryuko!"

Ryuko passed the scissors off to Nui and she began to awkwardly grind on the handle of the long side of the scissors. Off in the distance, the FBI retreated to go to raid another fanfic. Ragyo began to watch a bit too closely for comfort.

"Don't get too comfy Ragyo," Bob stated, "Put on your stupid clown costume or whatever and hide in a sewer drain. Talk about how things float or something,"

"My attire doesn't make me look like Pennywise," Ragyo protested.

"No, Pennywise is much easier on the eyes," Bob scoffed as he teleported her to a nearby sewer drain somewhere by a playground or something, "Ryuko, would you like to see your father again?"

"Yes," Ryuko answered, "But you're probably not going to bring him back because it's a truth or something,"

"You're right, it's a truth," Bob confirmed, "But he's right there,"

Bob pointed to a bearded old man with an eyepatch, who was shocked to be where he currently was. He had went from dying in a fiery explosion, to not existing, then to a luxury beach with the smell of pot smoke in the air.

"Where the hell am I?" he asked himself before receiving a shock for saying the word hell.

"Dad?" Ryuko gasped.

Isshin turned around to see his daughter wearing a synchronized Senketsu and a towel around her waist. They both ran up to hug each other and when they did, Ryuko leaned farther forward.

"Ryuko, I'm so happy to see you… what's with the awkward hug?"

"Well, about that…,"

"And why is that insane bitch grinding on my scissor blade?" Isshin shouted before being shocked yet again, "and why do I keep getting electrocuted?"

Bob made his way over to the two of them and offered Isshin a handshake. "Hi Mr. Matoi or Mr. Kiryuin, whichever you prefer. I am Bob InsaneGuy. First of all, I just want to tell you that your death was not in vain. Ryuko and Nudist Beach were able to rid the world of Nui, your bi- I mean female dog of an ex-wife, and save the world from the life-fibers that threatened the world. However, I am an overpowered being making everyone play in my game of Truth or Dare for my amusement. Your daughter is currently a hermaphrodite because of a dare that was made by someone earlier and your other daughter is currently passed out from blood loss. She'll be fine though. Oh and no swearing today,"

"I am so lost," Isshin sighed.

"It'll all make sense soon," Bob reassured him, "Just follow along. Mako and Ryuko, switch bodies,"

Bob clapped his hands and the two were swapped.

"I'm just glad I don't have a di… penis...anymore," Ryuko stated from Mako's body.

"And Mako, go steal Ryuko's motorcycle and with no experience driving such a vehicle, drive around the city as quick as you can. Go! Your time's been started already!"

Mako, in Ryuko's hermaphroditic body, ran to the motorcycle that Ryuko stole that one episode and sped off.

"Alright, now for Ac's dares," Bob announced, "Nonon, what was it like tasting someone else's piss, then turning into a piss covered snake?"

"What do you think?" Nonon sassed, annoyed that this was a question that had to be asked.

"That happened?" Isshin blurted in shock, "Am I in Hell?" Isshin was shocked for saying hell.

"You're not wrong, sir," Aikuro answered, "But it's good to have you back,"

"Uzu, how did it feel," Bob asked.

"What?"

"You know, last session," Bob hinted.

"Uh, I don't think now is a good time," Uzu shuddered as he realized what Bob was talking about and didn't want to talk about it in front of Satsuki's dad.

"C'mon, how did it feel to grope Satsuki's boob, you can tell us," Bob blurted.

"You what!"

"It was an accident sir! We're sparring! Bob showed up! He pushed me! I didn't mean to,"

"Father?"

Isshin turned around to notice that his other daughter had woken up. He set aside his qualms with Uzu and went to hug his daughter.

"Aww, but before we move on it was good right?" Bob asked.

"Uh, no it was a bad move and a complete violation of personal space," Uzu lied through his teeth while giving two thumbs up.

"Hoka, do you remember anything from being retarded?" Bob asked before being shocked for what seemed like the hundredth time, "That's a swear! This is dumb,"

"Honestly I don't," Hoka answered, "When the helmet was taken off, I was naked, holding what I hope to be my own feces, and stuck in a tree. I think before then I was crying because my eyes were watery but I'm not sure,"

"Odd, but entertaining nonetheless," Bob stated, "Tsumugu and Aikuro must find this piece of hay in this stack of serrated razors," Bob held out a singular piece of hey that instantly disappeared. Suddenly, a large pile of razors appeared about a hundred or so feet out from where everyone else was. The two members of Nudist Beach sighed and jumped straight in.

"Why would they do that?" Isshin asked, "What happens if we refuse?"

"You don't want to refuse," Ryuko said from Mako's body. Just as she finished, Mako in Ryuko's body returned flying through the air because she had crashed the motorcycle into a wall.

"Mako, good timing, come here," Bob commanded. The woman (in mind, technically not body) walked up to him and he tapped her on the head. She suddenly fell down onto the sand. Similar to how Nui lost her memories.

"What happened to my sister?" Nui cried.

"Sister? What is-," Isshin started.

"Basically the girl who killed you lost her memories and doesn't remember being evil," Ryuko explained.

"Now that you mention it. I don't really see that same look in her eyes… or just eye I guess," Isshin stated, "Almost makes me feel bad for cutting it out,"

All of a sudden, an ugly monster with a big, toothy mouth rose from the sand and bit down on Satsuki's arm with immense force. She tried to force her way out, Ryuko and Isshin tried to help but nothing could be done. The blood dripped onto Junketsu and the kamui awakened.

"This isn't good," Said a more masculine, stoic Junketsu, "Sorry to say this, but even with my strength, you can't escape,"

"He's right," Bob confirmed. He tossed her a shortsword with a broken blade, "Amputation is the only option,"

"Are you mad?!" Isshin shouted.

"My name is literally Mr. InsaneGuy. Anyway, just slam down on your arm until you break free. If Guts from Berserk can do it, so can you...maybe, I haven't watched Berserk yet,"

As Satsuki was slamming a broken shortsword into her arm to break free. Bob switched back the minds of Mako and Ryuko. Once done, Mako's body dropped down and the real Ryuko woke up.

"What's that for?" Ryuko asked.

"So you and Senketsu can switch places," Bob answered. Bob snapped his fingers and a smoke cloud enveloped them. When it dispurseed, a tall man with black hair and red highlights, who was wearing an eyepatch replaced Ryuko. He was wearing a pair of black swim trunks with dark blue 'eyes' on each thigh.

"Ryuko?" The man gasped.

"Senketsu?" The pair of swim trunks gasped.

"What the-,"

"Ta da!" Bob cheered, "Senketsu is a life-fiber infused human and Ryuko is some kind of kamui. Enjoy that!"

"Better than having a di… I mean penis," Ryuko the swim trunks said.

"Even if there is one between your eyes," Nonon mentioned.

"I don't think like that," Senketsu defended.

"Just give the hormones time to kick in," Bob said, "Let's check up on Satsuki,"

Just as he said that, Satsuki made the final chop at her arm that she needed to escape. She fell backward into her father's arms. After that the monster retreated underground. Isshin tired to stop the bleeding as fast as he could, but Bob magically sealed the wound first.

"On that note," Bob announced, "What is everyone's kinkiest fetish?"

"We all know I'm a masochist," Gamagori answered.

"Uh, the more I think about it, the I think that that threesome was the best sexual experience I've had. And it wasn't because of the meth," Ryuko answered.

"Meth!" Isshin exclaimed, "I-I know I spent some time being dead, but I need to take a nap,"

Uzu sighed. "I guess feet… but nothing to wild or crazy!"

"Weirdo. How about you Nonon?" Bob asked.

"Uh… I really like it when Hoka plays with my nipples," Nonon answered. She was then shocked.

"Oops, somebody lied," Bob remarked, "What is it?"

"But my nipples are sensitive, Hoka nearly gets me off with that! Do I need to go into steamy details?!" Nonon argued.

"Technically, I said kinkiest fetish, not your most favorite," Bob clarified.

"Well, then I guess… being peed on… wasn't… that bad," Nonon said sheepishly, "It'd be better if Hoka wasn't retarded," She was then shocked for saying retarded.

"Okay," Hoka cringed, "Can't any of you have a normal fetish? Like a woman wearing thigh high socks,"

"Guess I need to go shopping," Nonon said.

"And I need to drink more water," Hoka quipped.

"You suck,"

"What about you, Nui?" Bob asked.

Nui got up off of the scissor handle, which she had started to enjoy as much as she was embarrassed to admit it.

"I don't like any of that stuff really," Nui started, "Although, I think I only like other girls,"

"That's all? I know you, you're more kinky than that," It was the voice of Mako, who had just gotten up from her slumber.

"What are you talking about Mako?" Gamagori asked.

"Mako?" Mako asked, "No, I only seem to be in her body for some reason," She then noticed Isshin and her eyes lit up. Isshin glanced over and immediately felt shivers down his crooked spine.

"Those eyes," Isshin said, "That stare, that's the woman who killed me!"

"Ding ding ding," Mako's body cheered, "You're so smart, I'm Nui. The real Nui. Not this silly faker squatting in my real body,"

"Where's Mako?" Nui teared up.

"Gone," Bob answered bluntly, "Her mind has been overwritten with Nui's mind. The mind that she had before the Truth or Dare,"

"You son of a bitch!" Ryuko yelled. The swearing shocked Ryuko, as well as the human Senketsu. He has just learned his first lesson in male anatomy, "Sorry Senketsu,"

"Mako!" Sukuyo cried, "You've got to be in there! Right?"

"Nope!" Nui beamed as she went over to Guts and kicked him into the water.

"I don't think she's there," Guts gasped.

"Alright Gamagori, punch Mako," Bob commanded.

"This isn't Mako, but I'll gladly do it," Gamagori said as he wound up his punch and knocked the woman out.

"How could you do this?" Sukuyo cried.

"What? I didn't choose to erase Mako consciousness from existence. That's just how it happened, now how about we strip Satsuki and Ryuko down, make them wear wolf ears and a tail, chain them up with a collar, and brand the words Ragyo's bitch on their backs or something,"

Ryuko was transformed into a normal human again, leaving Senketsu naked. The women were then stripped naked, given wolf ears, tails, and collars, then chained up to a post. They then felt a burning pain on their backs as the words 'Ragyo's Bitch' was branded into them.

"What's wrong with this Ac guy!?" Nonon raged.

"It's technically a combination of two dares by him and NuclearCracker, but your right it was mostly Ac's idea. We'll end off the session with everyone getting into pairs and giving each other a bath while hentai audio plays on the intercoms, but before we do, NuclearCracker has some dares,"

"No! What's wrong with you?" Isshin yelled, point his cane to Bob.

"I'll give you the rundown later," Bob sighed, "As a matter a fact, take that stupid nap you mentioned earlier," Bob waved his hand in an odd fashion and the man collapsed onto the ground, fast asleep.

"Now Satsuki, are you okay with the things happening right now?" Bob asked.

Satsuki felt as if she was being mocked. She was naked, chained up, branded, and was missing an arm. Not to mention this was the first time that her father had seen her in over twelve years and this is what happened or the fact that the real Nui Harime is back at the expense of Mako's being. All of this factored in, it was enough to make her cry.

"This is all some sick joke to you," Satsuki began, "Everything you do, everything these reviewers do is all just some sick game. When will this end! When will this shit end!" The shocks she gets from swearing are the least of her worries at the moment and she toughs them out, "For a while, I didn't think it was that bad. Sure, some of the dares were humiliating, but I've been through worse dammit! I could tell myself that at least my god awful bitch of a mother wasn't around…Now I can even fucking say that! And literally the moment she arrives, everything gets fucked! Now it's probably coincidence that these fuckers decided to turn up the intensity right when she got here, I'll give them that. But what do you people get out of all of this? Are you just sadists waiting for us to break down so you can get that sexual gratification. If so, here it is! Keep fapping away! I bet this is the best one yet!"

"Satsuki…," Ryuko started or at least tried. There was no point in calming her down. She was rightfully angry and the fact that she was able to maintain composure for this long was a testament to her character, but she could understand snapping. Hell, she wanted to scream too, but after seeing her calm and collected sister lose it, she could only feel sadness and despair.

"Satsuki, that was very passionate," Bob said calmly. He grabbed a knife and stabbed her in the neck, "I do this for fun Satsuki, not the sexual kind, just the kind that wants to kill time until we all meet our inevitable end. Just be fortunate that in some manner, you can live on forever,"

He pulled the knife out and Satsuki's body fell limp on the floor. Everyone who had been left alive was stunned, to say the least. The Elite Four saw their leader snap and she was killed like a dog for her outburst. The Mankanshoku's were even more depressed, having seen all of this and lose their daughter very soul to a soulless monster. Nui, the one in Mako's body, was the only one relatively unphased by any of this.

"Wow, I was never able to make Lady Satsuki this mad," Nui marveled, "You have the kind of humor I like sir,"

"You think this is funny too!" The short haired Nui cried.

"Of course silly," Nui Prime giggled, "And unlike Bob, I thoroughly enjoy it. That's my kink. And it's yours too,"

"I'm not you! I don't want to be you! I have a family! I have people who love me! I hate you! And if I am you I hate myself!"

"Oh sweetie, you really don't get it. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, the stronger the hate the stronger the love!"

"Is that what you tell yourself?"

"They are both very powerful emotions. The line between the two is very thin and it is easy to bounce back and forth between the two so that's why I view them as one in the same. The opposite of both is indifference, and while you did steal my body and cut off by cute pigtails, I love you,"

"So by your logic, you hate me, too?"

"Well, don't you think love is just a sweeter word to say all-round? I think so, but who knows what your idiot family puts in your head. While I hate this body, I'm so glad your new sister is dead for good,"

Nui had enough of what her former self had been saying, she grabbed the scissor blades and made a cut across her waist, cutting her in half. Her former self managed to grab on to her shoulders and give her a kiss as she was bleeding out.

"I love you too," Her former self whispered in her ear. She then lost the energy to hold on and let go. Although she had no energy to hold on, she had enough to giggle maniacally on the sand. Nui took the scissor blades and stabbed at her former self's chest until the laughing stopped. Nui, stricken in grief and guilt at what she had done, dropped the scissors and plopped her knees into the sand. She began to bawl. Not only had she killed, she had killed out of hatred. She killed the body of her older sister, but she killed herself out of hatred.

And the worst part was, she enjoyed it.

 **Hey Guys, Ted here and oh my God, never let me write at 4 o'clock in the morning. I know these dares were a bit more extreme, but my mind went to some dark places this time around. Not that I have a problem with that and if you liked it I'm willing to stay up and do this kind of thing. There were some dares we didn't do and I'll make them up next chapter but after that little outburst, going back to business wouldn't feel right.**

 **Hope you enjoyed the 420th view special. I promise it wasn't supposed to get this dark.**


	9. Happy Birthday Nui! (And Don't Do Drugs)

It was a wonderful day at Kiryuin Manor. The weather was perfect, with the sun shining and the occasional cloud cover. At this point, Summer was in full bloom which made it a perfect day to throw a birthday for the amnesic Nui Harime. This would have been a happy day, but the previous session left a bad taste in the mouths of the cast of Kill la Kill. Mako's very being was overwritten and replaced with the original Nui Harime, who we will refer to as Nui Prime. Satsuki had a mental breakdown which caused her to lose the calm and collected mask she had been wearing and let out about twelve years worth of hatred and frustration on the reviewers of this series. To top it all off, Nui Prime flooded the amnesic Nui with her ideas on love and proceeded to insult her new family, causing her to kill Nui Prime in a fit of rage. To say that no one was in the mood for a party was an understatement.

Bob wanted to make up a dare before the party began. This dare was one sent in by Ac, where he wants everyone to pair off and give each other a bath. The cast glumly paired up, with the exception of Nui Prime, who ran straight to Ragyo, and made their way to one of the many bathrooms with a tub and start their dare. Ryuko was with Nui, the one who wasn't a psycho manic, washing the woman's back in preparation for her big day.

"So… how are you holding up?" Ryuko asked.

"I guess I'm okay," Nui wepted, "I wish my sister was here and not… me,"

"That Nui isn't you, you're completely different from her. Trust me, I've had the displeasure of… meeting her," Ryuko disagreed as she recounted all of the horrible times she had with Nui Prime before the Truth or Dare game even began.

"But she was right! Killing her felt… right. Not because she was bad, but because I enjoyed it,"

Ryuko grabbed Nui's shoulder and turned her around. Once she did, she grabbed her shoulders. "Listen to me Nui, we all have things we don't like about ourselves. There is nothing you can do to change that. You can improve yourself little by little, but there are some things that simply can't be resolved. You may have something inside of you that likes to kill and that's fine if you don't act on it unless it is absolutely necessary. Ragyo and the old Nui act on their wicked impulses and they don't always do it out of necessity either. The fact that you are aware that you're wrong for liking to kill and even feel guilt when you do, says a lot about your quality of character," Ryuko let off of Nui and leaned back, "And as for your sister, I'm sure she'll be back. I even noticed Ted was upset at watching Mako go away. Someone will dare her back,"

"You think so?" Nui chirped. Now that she had some hope in eyes (or just eye), her eye started to drift down away from Ryuko's face.

"I bet so," Ryuko claimed, "And once she's back, we'll have a wonderful birthday party for you and you can… uh… Nui," Ryuko had noticed that Nui's attention had kind of drifted downward away from her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Can you stop staring at my boobs?"

"Sorry, Ryuko… It's just… they… I… uh…,"

"Calm down Nui, it's fine. Even if it's a bit weird,"

"Awkward," Senketsu remarked, who had been watching the entire scene unfold on a hanger on the door.

* * *

A little after mandatory bath time, Satsuki was holding a medicinally prescribed joint of marijuana at the bar, pondering whether to smoke it or not. She had been given a prescription for it after being revived as part of her apology gift bag, which also contained chocolates, fancy wine, scented candles, and a small coupon book. This coupon book didn't give good deals at the neighborhood supermarket, rather it gave her special perks such as being able to make someone else do any dare, whether it was hers or not; the ability to lie for a truth; and the ability to completely skip one dare for herself and for another person. She only got one of each however.

Isshin came walking in to see that his daughter was upset and took a seat right next to her.

"Are you okay?" Isshin asked, "At least, relatively speaking,"

"Yeah," Satsuki sighed, "I'm just glad you weren't awake to see that,"

"What's that your holding there?" Isshin asked, knowing exactly what it was.

"Medicinal marijuana, so that I can, quote, 'chill the fuck out',"

"You don't want it?"

"Marijuana clouds the mind, slows you down, it's not something I need,"

"I'd argue in this place it's exactly what you need. Look, I don't want my first piece of fatherly advice to be do drugs, but I've caught up on the stories around here. I even asked that Ted guy some questions. I can start an underground resistance and create powerful sailor uniforms to stop your mother from having the world ruled by some alien strings that remind me of Symbiotes from Venom, but I can't stop a self-insert writing fanfiction. It can't be done,"

"What's your point, Father?"

"First, please just call me Dad. No need to be so formal. Second, if we really are just stuck here, why not smoke it? If you won't, I will. I haven't done it since college,"

"I never imagined that," Satsuki smiled as she picked up a lighter.

"Well, to be fair, the last time we've seen each other, you were five. My college days are not something I can share to little kids,"

Satsuki lit the joint and held it out to offer to her dad. "Do you want it first?"

"Doesn't matter," Isshin stated. He took the joint, took a hit off of it, and coughed for a little bit before handing it back to Satsuki, "Woah, it really has been a while,"

Satsuki took a puff, but immediately coughed out any of the smoke.

"No fair, everytime school called about me smoking you always yelled," Ryuko laughed as she entered the bar.

"Different circumstances Ryuko," Isshin pointed out, "Right now we are prisoners in a game. You were just a delinquent in high school,"

"Oh well, can I have a hit or is Satsuki just wasting it because she doesn't know how to do it?"

"I guess we'll have to teach her," Isshin grinned.

"Wonderful fatherly advice," Ryuko said sarcastically.

"But you're both adults now!"

* * *

Bob and two Teds were putting the finishing touches on the birthday party that was going to be held out in the backyard. Large quantities of alcohol, soda, chocolate, and dog treats have been sent down by Gabe2000 and spread out amongst the party area. There was a giant cake in the center of it all and around it there were balloon and other party decorations littering the area. As the partygoers flooded in, one of the Teds slipped out of sight.

"Welcome to Nui's birthday everyone," Bob announced, "I apologize for last session's...mishaps. If I've learned anything… it's that we should have vacationed to Vegas or something,"

"You know damn well that's not the lesson!" Mataro shouted.

"Anyway," Bob continued, ignoring Mataro's outburst, "Before we start off with Gabe2000's dares…,"

"We're doing a Truth or Dare now!" Nui cried. She had ditched her pink dress in favor of wearing a pink shirt and jeans.

"Don't whine," Bob sighed, "These dares are overly nice today. Well, except for Ac, but I've come to expect that… as I was saying, before we start, would Nui Prime step on up,"

Nui Prime, who was still in Mako's body, skipped her way over to Bob. Bob pulled out a pink sock from his pocket.

"What's that," Nui Prime asked, "Your girlfriend?"

"First off," Bob started, "Nice burn. Second of all, by popular demand I will be correcting one of the wrongs that have been committed last session. Third… I really should have used a jizz sock for this," Bob then stretched then sock of Nui Prime's head and she began to scream as if the life was being sucked right out of her. Once she stopped screaming, she fell to the ground and Bob took the sock from her head and put it on his hand. Eyes suddenly popped up out of nowhere on the sock as it magically sprang to life.

"What was th-," The sock started in Nui's voice, she then noticed that her host by was laying limp on the ground, "What have you done!?"

"I turned you into a sock puppet," Bob answered, "The real Mako should wake up shortly,"

"I don't want to be a sock! You can do this! I hate you! I hate you! I hate-," Bob took the sock off of his hand and Nui Prime disappeared. Just as Bob said, Mako woke up moments later. The Monkanshoku's, Ryuko, Gamagori, well, half of the cast ran up to hug the woman as she woke up from her time in the abyss.

"What happened?" Mako asked, "Where's Jamaica?"

"That's a long story," Nui said.

"You have me to thank," Boomed a voice from above, "It is I once again, Gabe2000! I apologize for the suffering you all had to endure last session. I'm the God of Perversion, not mental trauma,"

"Look, just because you're a booming voice in the sky, doesn't mean your a god," Bob pointed out, "You're just a fanfiction user like everyone else. And besides, I think Ac has got you beat in the perversion department anyway,"

"That reminds me of my next dare," Gabe2000 said. Just as he did, Bob was suddenly shackled to a wall, his legs spread out and under his crotch, the words 'Kick here' was painted on with and arrow pointing to his gonads, "Everyone! Kick Bob in the balls! Gabe2000, out!"

"Whatever, this can't be too bad," Bob kept telling himself. Everyone lined up to get a good kick at Bob's balls. Everytime he was kicked, it didn't really matter who did it, Bob screamed bloody murder. This went on for quite some time until the last two, Satsuki and Ryuko, were up.

"Thank God," Bob breathed, "It's almost over,"

Ryuko and Satsuki looked at each other and gave each other a nod.

"Wha-what's with the mutual nod?" Bob stuttered, "I don't like it. I don't like it at all,"

"LIFE FIBER OVERRIDE! KAMUI JUNKETSU!" Satsuki shouted as she transformed.

"LIFE FIBER SYNCHRONIZE! KAMUI SENKETSU!" Ryuko shouted at the same time.

"Woah, I know life-fibers are parasitic, but maybe I should have added more fabric," Isshin noted as he took another hit from Satsuki's medicinal joint.

"Oh fuck," Bob glumly said. Ted put on the song _Before My Body is Dry_ and the two waited for the iconic part of the song. Once the timing was right, the two girls, with all of their amplified strength, kicked Bob in the balls with such force, the wall he was on broke away as he flew into space. The last thing they saw was a twinkle in the sky. Just as Bob's body flew into the air, another Bob walked out and greeted the cast.

"Wait, didn't we kick your balls into outer space," Ryuko asked.

"You girls ain't Los Locos," Ted commented.

"Is that a Short Circuit 2 reference!" Isshin laughed, "Amazing,"

"Short Circuit?" Satsuki asked.

"We'll have to start a family movie night one of these days," Isshin thought out loud.

"Oh no, I'm not Bob," said the man who looked exactly like Bob. His body then turned into a dark plasma and morphed into a humanoid shape. His face was covered by a white grinning mask, "It is I, CrazyMetamorph9573, here to deliver my dares in person,"

Anyone who had a weapon, immediately threw them at the dark figure. Ryuko's scissor blades, Satsuki's swords, and any other blade that was laying around was thrown with such aggression. All of these blades embedded themselves in the CrazyMetamorph's chest, but didn't faze him in the slightest.

"And I'm here to wish Nui a Happy Birthday!" He exclaimed after a brief pause. The weapons eventually made there way out of his chest and fell to the ground.

"What's her gift?" Ryuko raged, "Losing another family member? Going blind? Being lit on fire?"

"No, god no!" The figure sputtered, "I promise my dares aren't malicious in the slightest. If you recall, I was the one who suggested Nui have a birthday party in the first place. I dared Isshin back from the dead,"

"Thank you!" Isshin called out.

"But before I begin, I want to tell Nui something," CrazyMetamorph molded his body into that of an older man wearing a red cardigan sweater and tie. He had that look of a friendly neighbor, someone you could always count on.

"D-did you just transform into Mr. Rogers?" Ted asked.

The man kneeled down to Nui's level. "Nui," He began, "I want to say that your former self is correct when it comes to love and hate being extreme emotions, but don't think she is right to think they are the same. To her, love is just a fancy way to say she admires something, but that's not love. Love is where someone selflessly gives you something you need in life. Your family life with the Mankanshokus should be a good demonstration and you seem to have been more stable and happy with life for it. Also, don't feel too bad for succumbing to violence. It is completely understandable in your situation and your half-sisters aren't exactly saints in that department either. If at the end you still have a mischievous and even violent streak, that's okay. I just want you to be able to be happy without needing to hurt anyone, for their sake and especially yours. With all that said, are you going to be okay?"

"I don't think Fred Rogers was cool with violence in any capacity," Ted commented.

"I'll be fine," Nui beamed, "I have Mako back. Our family is complete again!"

"I'm glad to hear," He transformed back into his dark plasma self and moved to Ragyo. He took out a pin and jabbed her in the shoulder. Ragyo instantly shrunk down into a diaper-wearing, life-fiberless toddler, "Satsuki, give your mother a good spanking and whatever else for all she has done. Also, give your dad a hug, you need it. Ryuko, is allowed to join in,"

Satsuki quickly kicks her toddler mother in the gut, causing the girl to cry uncontrollably. Isshin laughed at his ex-wife's pain and how Satsuki punished her. The two girls gave their dad a big hug and just like that, even without a mother, their family felt complete.

"Mako," The dark figure continued, "Do you remember being the old Nui at all?"

"She shouldn't," Ted interrupted, "She was technically dead,"

"He's right," Mako answered, "I was on the beach in Jamaica after crashing Ryuko's motorcycle, next thing I know I wake up at Nui's party. Happy Birthday, little sister!"

"Hey Ted, is Omiko here?" The figure asked.

"Omi-who?" Ted asked.

"Uh… the tennis club chick,"

"Looks like Bob and I forgot some of the minor character. Give me a sec," Ted summoned a portal about six feet in the air and out from the portal dropped Omiko, the former president of the Honnouji Academy Tennis Club.

"Where am I?" The toothy-grinned girl asked, "I was in the middle of a college tennis match!"

"Sorry Omiko, you're stuck here," Uzu apologized.

"What?"

"Don't worry about that right now," The dark figure said, "I have two questions for you. One, does it feel awkward to keep tennis balls underneath your skirt? And two, How do you manage to maintain such a beautiful smile?"

"You bring me here and say I'm trapped here, just so you can ask me how I store my tennis balls and to mock my smile? I know my teeth are sharp! It's a genetic condition, Asshole!"

"I'm sorry," The figure apologized, "Really, I am," He turns his attention to Gamagori and Isshin and pulls out two potions, "Drink these potions, I promise they won't do anything too crazy. It should take a little bit for the effects to kick in,"

The two take the potions and cautiously drink them. The figure then shapeshifts into a pokemon trainer and pulls out a pokeball.

"Before I move on from my dares, I wanted to give Nui her present," He tossed her the pokeball. In her three weeks of memory, the only mention of pokemon she's seen was a trailer for a movie starring a pikachu that sounded like Ryan Reynolds. And she didn't even know who he was.

"Just throw the ball down," The pokemon trainer instructed.

She did as she was told and out from the ball popped a cute white and pink cat thing.

"You gifted her a Sylveon?" Hoka exclaimed.

"I bet that went way over the five thousand yen limit," Uzu commented.

"That's all I got," CrazyMetamorph finished, "Shall I just take the form of Bob and we proceed with the session?"

Just as CrazyMetamorph asked that question, a satellite came plummeting down from the sky and landed about a mile away from the Manor.

"I wouldn't," Ted suggested, "Bob will probably be back soon. I bet he's pissed. But for now, we have dares from GamingChiliHedgehog. It's been a while GCH, welcome back. Satsuki, wear this Sonic the Hedgehog mascot costume," Ted snapped his fingers and the woman was instantly wearing a Sonic the Hedgehog costume, with a large head and everything. Ryuko, who was a little high, couldn't help but giggle.

"I wouldn't be so quick to laugh," Bob warned. He snapped his fingers once more and she was suddenly wearing a Shadow the Hedgehog mascot costume, "Now you must throw pies at each other,"

"What's the point of this dare?" Satsuki asked. Her voice slightly muffled by the costume.

"What's the point of anything we do?" Ted replied, "Just think of yourselves as birthday party entertainment,"

Two serving carts filled with pies were rolled up by the two hedgehogs and they began to toss them at each other. They had fun dodging each other's pies until Satsuki managed to hit Ryuko in the chest with one. The pies violently explodes upon impact, causing her to fly back into her cart of pies and fly into the air with a bang. Seconds later, she came flying down. The costume had taken the brunt of the damage as it was nearly intact upon impact with the ground. Ryuko took off the costume, which was reduced to rags by this point, and dusted herself off.

"What the hell was in those pies?" Ryuko yelled.

"I don't know," Ted answered, "Some kind of explosive. Now for act two of the entertainment, a Mortal Kombat style fight to the death between Gamagori and Nonon,"

As the birthday girl was protesting this dare, Gamagori was actually eager for a rematch since the first session.

"You have no one else to cover you," Gamagori remarked, "This is a fair fight. One-on-one,"

"But your like seven feet tall!" Nonon protested.

"Fine, I'll give you the first punch," Gamagori mocked.

"How gracious of you," Nonon remarked sarcastically. She threw a punch as hard as she could and hit Gamagori square in the gut. It was a good punch, he'll give her that. Well, he would if the potion from earlier hadn't kicked in and transformed him into a baby.

"Babality!" The figure announced, "I think that loli potion was a bit too strong,"

As he said that, the eerie sound of a crooked spine being straightened could be heard from behind him. The host and the guest turned around to see that Isshin had good posture again. The transformation continued as his grey hair fell out and was replaced with shorter youthful hair. The wrinkles on his body faded and overall, he looked like he was twenty-five again. The young Isshin put his hands on his back.

"Damn, that hurt almost as much as dislocating it," Isshin remarked.

"Woah, you're even younger than I remember," Satsuki exclaimed.

"Wow...I can't believe you didn't always look that old," Ryuko quipped.

"Did you think I wanted to look like that? No, everything I did was necessary,"

"Guts," Ted continued, "Do you have a dog crush?"

Guts, who was staring at the Sylveon with lovey-dovey eyes, snapped out of his trance. "Dog crush? No,"

"Well, now we move onto an apology from Nuclear Cracker," Ted announced, "He's happy to see these dares are mostly good. He wants to apologize to Satsuki, he wasn't trying to mock her or anything. He should have dared for everything to be put back to normal. He's really sorry,"

Just as he was done reading the apology, a section of the brick wall that acted as a fence for the backyard violently blew apart. Out from the rumble, a very pissed off Bob came stomping over.

"Was it really necessary to blow up the wall?" Ted asked.

"You know Ted," Bob started, "It wasn't. It really wasn't! You know what else wasn't necessary?... Having two super-powered strippers do their transformation dance and then literally kicking my ball into outer fucking space. Who do those bitches think they are? Los Locos!"

"Ha, that's exactly what I said," Ted laughed.

"Of course it's what you said! We are the same fucking person!"

"We got some differences, for example, you seem to harbor all of our rage,"

"Well no shit!" Bob screamed. He turned around and faced the cast, "Alright everyone, we got one more guy doing dares and it's Ac so listen up! Mako's entire family is going on a trip!"

"In our favorite rocketship," Mataro finished.

"I don't understand you munchkins and your need to remix Playhouse Disney," Bob clapped his hands and the Mankanshoku family, Nui included, instantly flew up into the space, crashing into the Kiryuin satellite on the way.

"What the hell!" Ryuko called out.

"Don't worry, nobody is dying today," Ted reassured.

"What!" Bob yelled, "That's bullshit!"

"I'm sorry Bob, but last episode was a real bummer. It's the least we could do,"

"Ugh, fine. Where is Ragyo?" Bob asked.

CrazyMetamorph picked up the toddler Ragyo and showed her to Bob.

"I don't know how a toddler can sexually molest the Elite Four," Bob wondered, "Guess we'll just have to age her up,"

"I use one of my coupons!" Satsuki proclaimed. She hands Bob the 'have someone else do a dare coupon'.

"Well, technically the dare is for Ragyo," Bob pointed out, "Somebody has to molest the Elite Four either way,"

"How about the sock puppet?" Satsuki suggested.

"How can a… what the fu-... you…," Bob stammered angrily. As much as he was pissed off at everyone for the brutal assault on his testes, he couldn't help but think about the scenario the coupon created. He eventually laughed his ass off.

"Wow! Th-that is downright sick and hilarious!" Bob praised, "I just imagine the Elite Four taking turns using Nui Prime as a jizz sock," Bob laughed to himself some more, "You know what, that is perfectly fine. I wonder if the sock will come to life on their…," Bob interrupted himself with more laughter, "Mental trauma really does a lot for creativity," The Elite Four (or three rather, Gamagori is baby) just stood around wondering what to do.

"I call first," Hoka claimed.

"What! No fair! I don't want your sloppy seconds!" Uzu complained.

"So… am I exempt?" Nonon asked, "I... don't have a dick,"

"Oh, don't worry about it," Bob said, "Uzu, you have until the end of the session to have someone lick your private parts or else you have to say something sexually humiliating about yourself,"

Omiko's eyes widened once Bob declared this.

"Now Satsuki, torture Ragyo!"

"I know she's bitch but she's a toddler," Satsuki protested.

"A toddler that currently retains all of her memories," Bob added, "You don't have to do much, just drop her on her head or something,"

Satsuki did as she was suggested. Luckily for the toddler, the grass cushioned the fall a little, but she still cried. Just as the toddler Ragyo was finished, an entire family came raining down on Kiryuin Manor like a bunch of meteors. The Mankanshoku family didn't hit the party, but they ruined the upper levels of the manor, as well as the front yard.

"Perfect timing," Bob cheered as the family made their way over the the party, "Nui, kiss this sewer gator," Bob pulled out a sewer gator from his pocket. It shouldn't be possible to do that, but pulling reptiles out of pockets isn't the most unbelievably thing that has happened here.

"Ew!" Nui gagged.

"I wonder how she'll respond with the retardation helmet… man I am so glad to say retarded again," Bob threw the helmet on Nui and she lost most of her higher brain function.

"Nui, if you kiss this gator, you get a present," Bob lied.

Nui gave the apathetic gator a kiss. The gator wanted nothing more than to roam the sewers of New York City once more. He had good friends down their. He knew some mutated turtles and their mutated rat daddy. He met a crackhead crawling around one day. He sung the song _Amazing Grace_. It was beautiful. Now he's in Japan, being used as a prop for some silly fanfic game.

Mako took off the helmet and Nui instantly spit of the gator germs and took a drink from the nearest cup.

"That's a big of whiskey," Ted told her much to late.

"Why do you have an entire cup?" Bob asked.

"I have a problem,"

Nui took the a big drink of the whiskey cup. It was about three shots worth before she realized what she was drinking. She then chased it down with a can of Dr. Pepper.

"Woah Nui," Ryuko chuckled, "Guess it wouldn't be a party without the guest of honor getting wasted,"

"I didn't drink that...much," Nui argued. Although once she did, she could start to feel a pretty heavy buzz. She wasn't super drunk or anything however, maybe a bit more talkative. Hoka came out of the house with the Nui Prime sock in hand.

"Your turn," Hoka teased Uzu.

Uzu sighed, pinched the sock by the opening and went inside. As Hoka merged back with the cast, he found his girlfriend and gave her a good slap on the ass. Nonon jumped forward.

"What was that for?" Nonon complained.

"It was a dare. I had to slap your ass while you didn't notice," Hoka explained.

"Yeah right!"

"Nonon, how was the nightmare Ac gave you?" Bob asked.

"That nightmare was a dare!" Nonon shouted, "What the hell!"

"You mean that nightmare in Jamaica?" Hoka asked, "What was it about?"

"None of your business!"

"Everyone," Bob started, "Name someone you'd bang,"

"I wish Gamagori wasn't a baby," Mako answered, "But he's so adorable!"

Satsuki sighed. "I think we had a similar dare before. I'm not interested in such things right now, but I'd choose Uzu,"

"Bu-but I'd choose Sanageyama!" Omiko blurted.

"I don't really care," Satsuki replied, "You go for it,"

"Thank you Lady Satsuki," Omiko thanked as she bowed down to her.

Satsuki sighed, "Just call me Satsuki, how many times does it have to be said?"

"What about Nui the birthday girl?" Bob asked.

Nui blushed at Bob's question. "I wouldn't now because of what CrazyMetamorph told me," Nui started.

"Oh god, don't tell me-," Ryuko started.

"I like Ryuko!"

The crowd was in complete shock at what Nui revealed.

"But we're half-sisters! That's why it's weird!" Ryuko pointed out.

"I know! And I'm so sorry for thinking that!" Nui apologized.

Just then, Ragyo the toddler began to loudly babble some words.

"Not true, not true," She babbled.

"Give her the ability to speak," Ted requested.

"Fine," Bob sighed as he snapped his fingers.

"As I was saying," Ragyo started, in a very young sounding voice, "I cloned Nui in a life-fiber womb. I never said I used my DNA. I used this opportunity to create the cutest little assistant possible, so I cloned her from a cute REVOCS employee who had just recently died,"

"So, like Build-a-Bear Workshop but with people?" Bob asked.

"You could say that," Ragyo answered.

"You are just horrible," Isshin scoffed.

"Less weird," Ryuko commented, "But still weird,"

"It's about to get a whole lot weirder," Bob started, "Nonon, Mako, Ryuko, and Satsuki, become unbearably horny and uncomfortably in heat,"

The girls mentioned suddenly felt a wave of anxiety and libido wash over them. The only one who was familiar with this feeling was Ryuko.

"D-did you give meth again?" Ryuko asked.

"Yes, as well as everyone else!" Bob exclaimed, "Don't worry kamuis, you won't get a contact high,"

"I don't know if I want to be worn knowing what happened last time," Senketsu commented.

"What happened last time?" Isshin asked.

"Don't worry about it," Bob said, "Alright, the Elite Four are now genderbent,"

Baby Gamagori was transformed into a cute baby girl. Hoka and Nonon swapped genders, with Hoka being a tall, petite woman with long blue hair and Nonon having being a short guy with short pink hair.

"Why do you have bigger boobs?" Nonon asked.

"I didn't ask for boobs Nonon," Hoka replied.

Uzu came running out with the sock and looking like a woman.

"I just became a chick!" Uzu the woman screamed, "What happened?"

"We got out genders swapped knucklehead!" Nonon answered.

"Now it's time to make Ryuko mortal," Bob snapped his fingers but nothing happened, "What's wrong? I should have a ball of life fibers right now."

"I think you reached the ten dare limit," Ted suggested.

"That's bullshit!" Ryuko protested.

"I guess that's all we have for tod-," Bob paused to dodge the scissor blades being thrown at him in Ryuko's meth-induced rage, "Enjoy the party, try not to murder each other, Bob is out,"

Just before Bob teleported himself away, Satsuki ran up to Bob and whispered into his ear.

"Are you sure?" Bob asked.

Satsuki nodded with an uncharacteristically devious grin. She pulled out her 'skip someone else's dare' coupon.

"Alright," Bob snapped his fingers, "Uzu, your a man again. Also, you don't need to embarrass yourself,"

"Save that for the bedroom," Ted joked.

"Oh snap!" Bob commented.

"Wait, you mean-," Uzu started. But the meth-fueled Satsuki pulled him away from the party and into the house. Off in the distance, Omiko was grinding her teeth.

The rest of the day went along smoothly. Everyone who was in attendance sung Nui Happy Birthday. Nui blew out the candles and made a wish, as is tradition. Nui gifted her family with sweaters she made herself. Even though she had lost her memory, her sewing abilities were still somewhat retained. Most everyone drank or smoked themselves into a stupor. CrazyMetamorph played a few tricks with his shapeshifting before leaving himself. Overall, it was a good night.

* * *

Nonon, Mako, and Satsuki all met up in the living room the next afternoon, feeling like crap after last night's unexpected meth dosage. Their bodies weren't accustomed to the substance so the sort of 'hangover' was hard on them.

"Why does Ryuko like this stuff?" Nonon wailed.

"Have you not been awake the past eighteen or so hours?" Satsuki asked, "That's why people do it… and don't stop,"

"I know this might be TMI," Nonon started, "But having sex as a guy was the weirdest thing ever,"

"Aww, you actually had sex! Lucky!" Mako exclaimed, "Ira was still a baby,"

"Wait, you did it with Hoka as a guy, while she was a woman?" Satsuki asked.

"Yeah, he thought it was weird too. He wasn't really that into it at first. Although, he said we win in the orgasm department so, girl power I guess. How did your night go?" Nonon asked Satsuki.

"Uh… um… fine," Satsuki stammered.

"That's a lie," Mako interrupted, "I heard them, she was all like 'oh god, oh god' and he was all like-,"

Satsuki put her hand over Mako's mouth.

"I never knew you were such a devout believer of God," Nonon joked.

"Ha ha," Satsuki said sarcastically as she pulled out a joint from her pocket.

* * *

Ryuko woke up nude in yet another person's bed. Except this time, the decorations in the room were a bit more girly and the bed was a bit smaller. She turned to left, away from the bed, and saw Senketsu on the ground asleep, laying around him were a bunch of other clothes, including a pair of jeans and a pink shirt.

"Senketsu?" Ryuko yawned.

"Oh you're awake," Senketsu said.

Ryuko scanned the room and came up with her best guess as to what happened last night. "Did I do what I think I did last night?"

Just then a happy-go-lucky young woman, woke up and leaned up against Ryuko's back.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Nui beamed.

"Yep," Senketsu replied.

Ryuko stared at the floor by her bed, wondering how to process this.

 **Hey, it's Ted here. Hopefully this makes up for the shitshow in Jamaica. Everybody's happy, mostly everyone got laid, and Satsuki's smoking pot now (whether that's good or bad, you decide). Just promise you guys will increase the intensity next session. Let's try to get back to our sadistic roots. If you have suggestions on where the next ToD should take place, feel free to add that to your review as well. I usually decide based on the dares, but I'd like to see what you guys want.**

 **Also, I'm thinking about doing a spinoff chapter based on some of the characters playing Dungeons and Dragons. I'm a bit of a dork and I love the game and thinking about how these characters will react seems funny in my mind. Don't know how well it would translate to writing though since it'd be a story within a story type thing. If that's something you're interested in seeing, let me know as well.**

 **Overall, thanks for the continued support. I wouldn't be doing this without you guys.**


	10. D&D Bonus: The Goblin Ambush

**Quick note about this bonus chapter, it takes place after the next session. I still don't have NuclearCracker's dares, but I pretty much have an idea of how the next session will turn out, so I'm not too worried by posting this early and out of order. I hope you enjoy this experimental chapter of Kill la Kill: ToD.**

It was a nice, quiet night at Kiryuin Manor. A dare from last session had given everyone a set of tabletop dice and it sparked some curiosity in some of the cast. Hoka had played Dungeons and Dragons before, but that was early in elementary school. Mako was just excited about nearly anything and a game like this is no exception. Nui immediately followed the hype of her older sister and wanted to play as well. As for everyone else, they were more or less indifferent, but willing to try. It wasn't like there was anything better to do anyway. Ted was willing to be the DM for the group of eight, which consisted of the Elite Four, Satsuki, Ryuko, Nui, and Mako. The group was hesitant about having Ted DM for them. Although he was the nicer personality between him and Bob, they were still the same person.

Ted had the players roll stats and make their character sheets before playing. Most of the players rolled well enough. The weakest player was Nonon, who was playing a halfling bard. Besides having an 18 in Charisma, all of her stats were lackluster with her next highest stat being Dexterity at 14. Her boyfriend on the other hand, was a gnome wizard. Hoka rolled two 18's, which maxed out his Intelligence at 20 with Dexterity following behind at 19. His lowest stat was Charisma with a 9, but considering he had rolled 14's for Constitution and Wisdom, he was well off.

With those drastic highs and low, Ryuko arguably rolled up the best all around character. She was a variant human barbarian with the dual wielder feat. With racial abilities, she had 4 16's in Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, and Wisdom. Charisma was at 13 with Intelligence being her worst stat at 10.

It was the night of the game and everyone was sitting around the table, waiting for Ted to show up. They took this time to compare character sheets, brag about stats, and poke fun at Nonon for having bad stats. After a few minutes of this, Ted arrived.

"I thought you said we'd be starting at eight o'clock on the dot," Gamagori scolded.

"My bad, I just had to finish up a few things," Ted explained, "Pass me your character sheets please,"

"I thought we were supposed to keep them," Hoka spoke up.

"In a normal game of DnD, sure." Ted answered, "But this ain't a normal game,"

The players reluctantly passed the character sheets to Ted. He looked through them for a bit before magically setting them aflame.

"What the hell was that for?" Ryuko demanded.

"I told you this wasn't a normal game of DnD," Ted answered, "Alright before we begin, you are traveling on two oxen-pulled wagons, one behind the other. I want to know who is driving which wagon. Two people can be up front on each wagon. Go!"

"I'll take the front," Satsuki chimed in.

"I'll drive the one in the back!" Mako burst, "I'm good at land vehicles!"

"I guess I'll stay back with Mako," Ryuko added.

"I'll be up front with Satsuki… if you don't mind," Uzu blurted before realizing he was coming on too strong.

"That's fine," Satsuki agreed.

"As for the rest of you, who is riding in the back of which cart?" Ted asked.

"I'll be in the back cart with Ryuko and Mako," Nui stated.

"I'll be in the front," Hoka chimed in.

"Me too," Nonon added.

"Guess I'm going in the back as well," Gamagori stated.

"Cool, now that we have the order of things set up, we can really begin," Ted raised his hands in the air and a blue portal appeared on the table. Everything that had been on the table was sucked inside. The players tried to resist the pull of the portal, but eventually they were all sucked in.

* * *

Ryuko opened her eyes to see that she wasn't at her sister's manor anymore. She was riding shotgun on a oxen-pulled cart with a half-cat woman at the reins. The two carts were traveling along a well-worn dirt road through a forest.

"Hey Ryuko, you're awake!" The cat woman turned her head and it was Mako. She was some kind of half cat person wearing loose fitting clothes and a purple cloak.

"Mako? Are you a cat-girl?" Ryuko asked, her mind still kind of in a haze.

"No, she's a tabaxi," The voice of Ted answered. The spectral image of Ted appeared, floating along side the back wagon, "I figured if you were all going to be physically playing as your characters, I'd make some of the more bestial of you more human-like to make the experience less jarring. It's not like anyone in this area has seen many tabaxis or dragonborns anyway so whatever,"

Two heads popped out from behind the canvas cover that covered their cart. They were Nui, who looked relatively normal, albeit a little smaller, and Gamagori, who had patches of golden scales across his arm and some small horns sticking out of his head. His eyes looked different, with them taking on a more reptilian appearance.

"What's the meaning of this?" Gamagori demanded.

"Can't you see, you are playing as your characters, in the game," Ted declared, "I honestly thought you would all be more impressed,"

"No, just pissed off," Ryuko clipped.

"Whatever, we're sticking to it. Let's take a moment to stop the carts and introduce ourselves, as our characters," Ted announced. The two carts pulled off to the side of the road and everyone got off.

"Alright, let's start with Ryuko. Give us your name, class, and a little about yourself," Ted chirped.

Ryuko sighed as she stepped up in front of everyone. She walked up with two red longswords on her back wearing commoner clothes and a red scarf with some kind of eye on it. "My character is named Robin Willowgleam. I'm a dual-wielding barbarian. Uh… my family died and I was given this special scarf as an inheritance,"

The little halfling Nonon jumped up. "Okay, does it bother anyone that she's just playing herself? Look, she's dual wielding swords like she does with her scissors, a barbarian's special power is rage and let's be honest, that's how she wins most of her fights, and that scarf is obviously Senketsu!"

"What! I wanted to play too!" Senketsu the scarf spoke up. While Ted, Ryuko, and Nui could understand him, all anyone else heard was a slightly demonic sounding jumble of gibberish.

"What the hell did he just say?" Uzu asked.

"Senketsu only speaks Infernal," Ted answered, "Which is only spoken by Ryuko and Nui. Thank you for introducing yourself, Robin. Next,"

Satsuki went up next wearing noticeably nicer garments than the rest of the party; white shirt and brownish pants. She had a single longsword in hand.

"My character is Leena Fenlana; I am a human fighter. I come from a house of nobles and I'm currently picking up odd jobs to explore the land before I take on the responsibilities that come with nobility,"

"Very nice, Leena," Ted complemented, "Next"

Mako jumped up and began. "My name's Spark! I'm a kitty person who comes from a far away land and I'm here to travel and have a good time!"

"What kind of name is Spark?" Hoka asked.

"Well, the cat names here are weird. My full name is Spark of Life, but just call me spark for short, okay!"

"Thank you Spark and you're a tabaxi," Ted explained with emphasis on her race.

As Mako left Nui stepped up. As Ryuko suspected, she was a bit shorter than she was in real life. She was wearing a little priestess outfit and with and on her back she had a shortbow, while on her hip she had a dagger.

"My character is Livi Riversun, I'm a halfling cleric of life who worships the goddess Yondalla. I've been with the church for as long as I can remember and am now out to spread goodwill to all,"

"Can you give us a little bit of info on your goddess," Ted asked.

"Well, Yondalla is pretty much the supreme goddess of all halflings. She's the goddess of things like family, protection, harmony…," She paused to give Ryuko a suspicious glance, "and fertility,"

"Nui, with us being gay, that innuendo makes no sense," Ryuko sighed.

"Thank you Livi," Ted thanked.

"Guess I'm up next," Nonon said. She wore flashy, colorful clothes with a pink cloak. On her hip she had a rapier, but in her hand she had a violin, "My character is Lulu Blossomstride. I'm a halfling bard that's going around from town to town, trying to make a name for myself as an up and coming musician,"

"With your stats, that's about all you can do," Hoka snidded.

"Bite me!"

"Later," Hoka replied as he got up and began to introduce himself. He was wearing what looked to be your standard blue wizard cloak. He was much shorter than he was in real life, maybe an inch taller than Nonon, "My character is Alston Buldrob. I'm a gnome wizard who had just graduated from a mage college and since I spent all of my money on tuition, I'm a caravan guard,"

"Nice stats Alston!" Ted praised.

Gamagori, who was not as huge as he was in real life but was still easily the largest one in the party, got up front. He was wearing heavy ring mail armor, and he carried a battle axe and shield. On his back were some javelins.

"My character is Gredhall Mammic. I'm a dragonborn paladin serving under the deity Bahamut, the dragon god of justice. I am here because I know the trails are dangerous and I offered a helping hand,"

"Lawful good god, huh?" Ted commented, "Typical Gamagori… or Gredhall I mean,"

Uzu was the last one up. He didn't have much on him. He only walked up in orange robes and shortsword in hand.

"My character is Alwin Dormaris. I'm a wood elf monk… uh… I used my training to take down thugs in the nearest large city,"

"That would be Neverwinter," Ted corrected.

"Yeah, there. I'm here now to make a little extra money by delivering this cargo," Uzu finished.

"Thank you Alwin," Ted thanked, "Now we can actually start this game. If you would please get on your wagons as you were,"

The party climbed back onto their carts and headed off once more. Ted flew around and began his narration.

"Welcome to the world of The Forgotten Realms, a wonderful, yet dangerous land full of magic, adventure, and if one were willing to risk it all, treasures beyond their wildest dreams. The eight of you were hired by Gundren Rockseeker to guard a convoy of goods and mining equipment and lead it over to the small village of Phandalin. He'd guard it himself, but he had to go about a day earlier to tend to some business in the village. Before he left, he had been talking about this mineral rich mine that was within the area. Right now you lot are about a few hours away from the village," Ted then takes out some dice and rolls them out on a table that doesn't show up on the spectral image, "Alright Alwin, I have no idea what you are doing. Staring off into space, looking at your dick, whatever. You rolled a natural 1 on your perception check. You don't notice shit. Leena, however, got a 21,"

Off in the distance, Satsuki spotted something up ahead. As the cart moved closer, what she had seen was two dead horses and a torn down wagon in the middle of the road. Uzu still couldn't see the this until Satsuki tapped his shoulder and pointed up ahead.

"Lenna, due to your alert feat, you feel a sense of unease as you continue to approach the cart. You feel as though you are rolling straight into an ambush. What do you do?"

"Do I know anything else?" Satsuki asked.

"No, just that you are being watched," Ted answered.

"Stop!" Satsuki called out to the rest of the convoy, "This is an ambush!"

Ted rolled for everyone's perception checks. Everyone in the back cart didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, other than the dead horses. Once Nonon and Hoka climbed out however, they could spot some goblins shuffling about in the bushes.

"Over there!" Hoka exclaimed. He pointed some bushes to his left. Once he did, the goblins stuck out like a sore thumb. The goblins were eagerly waiting for their next victims, but because they couldn't speak Common, the goblins didn't know that their cover was blown.

"How about we get the drop on them?" Nonon suggested.

"I like your thinking, Nonon," Ryuko agreed.

"Hey, try to call each other by character name while in character," Ted corrected.

"Alright, so how should we do this?" Satsuki asked.

"Well, first off, who are some of the sneakiest out of all of us?" Hoka asked.

"The two people proficient in the art of stealth are Spark and Alwin," Ted answered, "Although anyone with high dexterity has a decent chance at sneaking around. The only one I would recommend you not have sneaking about is Gredhall. His dex is 8,"

"Alright, how about me and… Alwin take the right side," Satsuki suggested, "While Spark and… Robin take the left. Everyone else, just be ready to back us up,"

"Sounds like a plan, let's go Spark," Ryuko said.

The two groups of two made their way over to the bushes and trees where the goblins were hiding. Ted rolled the stealth check and everyone but Ryuko failed. As they approached, they stepped on twigs, spoke about their plans too loudly, and did other loud things. The goblins took their eyes off the road and began to take aim at them.

"Alright, Robin is the only one that is hidden!" Ted announced, "Let's roll initiative!" Everyone was given a d20 to roll. And well, some were better than others, "With a 21, Alston goes first. "You notice your companions have been found out. What do you do?"

Hoka gets a bit closer to the action, but not too close and ties to cast a firebolt at the nearest goblin. Out of his hand, a small ball of fire flies out and hits the goblin closest to Mako dealing 5 damage. The Goblin is taken by surprise by the sudden burns, but still remains standing, even if barely.

"Lulu, your up next!"

Nonon ran toward Hoka and stares at the goblin he just attacked.

"You're a disgrace to goblin-kind!" Nonon yelled.

"Ooh, Vicious Mockery! A bard classic," Ted commented.

The goblin failed its wisdom save and the damage the damage rolled was exactly the amount needed to kill it. The goblin turned over to his other goblin friend.

"She's right! My life is meaningless!" yelled the burned goblin in its native tongue.

"What the hell did she say, man?" the other goblin cried, not understanding the insult. But it was too late, the burned goblin grabbed his sword and committed Seppuku right then and there.

"Jesus Christ!" Hoka blurted out.

"I didn't expect that," Nonon remarked.

"How else is one supposed to die from mean words?" Ted laughed, "Leena, you're up,"

Satsuki ran forward and took a slash at the goblin in front of Uzu. With her high damage modifier and decent roll, she managed to slash the goblin clean in half.

"Nice kill Leena," Ted praised, "Robin, you are hidden behind a bush, flanking your enemies. What do you do?"

Ryuko looked down at her scarf.

"Are you ready Senketsu?" She spoke in Infernal.

"Always," He replied.

Ryuko then took a bonus action to go into a rage. This rage was similar to life-fiber synchronization in a way. Her normal clothes disappeared and the scarf wrapped itself around her breasts and nether regions. While still skimpy, it was still more conservative than usual. Ryuko jumped from behind the bush and tried to take a slash at the suicide goblin's friend. The goblin saw this coming and quickly dodged out of the way.

"What the hell was that? I could have easily hit that!" Ryuko screamed. The goblin just laughed at her.

"You rolled a 2," Ted said, "Spark, you're up,"

"Don't worry Ryu- I mean, Robin! I use magic missile!" Mako yelled. Out of her hands, three arrows of pure blue energy flew out. The first two fly toward the goblin that Ryuko had just missed and the two blows killed him. The final missile flew to the goblin that had been behind him, knocking him for a total of 5 damage.

"Goblins! Please stop attacking us! We don't want to hurt you," Mako said in the Goblin language.

"Wait! You speak Goblin?" Ryuko exclaimed.

Ted rolled a persuasion check at disadvantage because three of their friends were already dead. By some stroke of luck, she had rolled a 16 with modifiers. The goblins stood down for a moment to explain their side.

"But we must attack your caravan!" said the goblin that was hit by the magic missile, "If not, Klarg will punish us all!"

"Who's Klarg?" Mako asked in Goblin.

"He's a big, mean bugbear!" The healthy goblin answered from behind, "He took over the cave a few weeks ago. He says he works a black spider or something?"

"If we help you with Klarg, will you stop attacking carts that pass by?" Mako asked.

Ted rolled another persuasion check for Mako and she rolled even higher.

"Yes," The goblins begged, "Please help us, Cat-lady!"

Mako turned to her friends. "They'll stop attacking us if we help them with their mean boss," Mako explained in Common.

"How the… what!" Nonon stammered.

"They have this mean bugbear boss named Klarg. He took over and is now making these poor goblins attack wagons or else they get punished. We gotta help them!"

"Mako- I mean Spark, Why should we?" Ryuko asked.

"Leena, you notice that the horses look like the ones owned by Gundren," Ted whispered into Satsuki's ear.

"I think these goblins might have Gundren," Satsuki exclaimed, "Who else could have possibly came along this trail?"

"Well, let's go save him!" Gamagori decided.

"I guess, he is the one paying us after all," Uzu added.

The five remaining goblins began to lead the party to their hideout. Along the way Satsuki fell into a trap a pit trap that the goblins had laid out.

"Sorry, we forgot that was there," The goblins apologized. Mako translated the message to her and she climbed her way out of the pit. She had taken 5 out of 12 damage from the fall. Unbeknownst to the party, the goblins were leading the party into a trap. The party was rolling terrible insight checks while the goblins were rolling good deception checks. Eventually they made it to the cave. A little stream flowed from outside of the cave and by that stream layed some bushes. The goblins went ahead to warn the two goblins that had been standing by on lookout duty in the bushes about the party and their plan. The goblins waved the party on through.

Once the goblins got the party inside the cave, they yelled 'intruders' in their language and they all fired the seven goblins from outside fired their shortbows. The sudden volley of arrows hit Mako, Gamagori, Ryuko, Hoka, Satsuki, and Uzu. Satsuki, who was hurt from the fall from earlier, couldn't dodge the arrow that was heading for her. The arrow landed straight into her stomach, causing her to collapse and begin to bleed out.

"Lady Satsuki!" The Elite Four screamed. But their panic only attracted more attention of other threats. To the party's right, there was a room with three wolves chained up to an iron rod that was stuck in the ground. The wolves struggled to free themselves from the bar and managed to loosen it. Up ahead, three goblins were climbing down from a bridge that was over the river to provide back up, while one ran off to get more reinforcements.

"Alright! With Leena out and most of you injured, roll initiative!"

The party rolled their d20's. Ted rolled for Satsuki as she was slipping into unconsciousness.

"Robin, you are first,"

Ryuko did her transformation once more. Stripping the commoner clothes and changing out for her skimpy scarf outfit. She charged the nearest goblin sliced him in two. After that it was Satsuki's turn. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to fight. Her spirit appeared over her body, similar to how Ted appeared, with a d20 in hand.

"You are unconscious," Ted explained, "Roll a death save, anything 10 or above is a pass. Anything lower is a fail. Get three fails and you die,"

Satsuki rolled the dice. She got a 12, she was safe for now.

"Livi, you are up!" Ted announced.

Nui went up to Satsuki and tried to use a spell, cure wounds, on her. She rolled well enough to bring Satsuki back with full health.

"Thanks Nu- I mean… what's your name again," Satsuki stammered.

"Livi," Nui answered.

"Right. Thank you,"

"No time for thanks, it's the goblin's turn," Ted announced.

Two of the goblins that were near Ryuko swung their swords but they both missed. A goblin that had been hiding from the side of the entrance shot an arrow and it landed in Hoka's chest, knocking him unconscious. More arrows flew from the outside, two missed their mark, but one extremely lucky arrow nicked Ryuko in the neck. This caused her to drop her weapons, clench the wound in pain, and fall down as well. The group of goblins came running from the bridge and fired their arrows but luckily, they failed to hit their mark.

"Ryuko!" Nui cried, as she saw her girlfriend get shot down by the goblin from outside.

"Shit! They got Hoka!" Nonon exclaimed.

"Your turn Alwin,"

Uzu swung his sword at the goblin that took the peek shot at Hoka, but his blade hit the side of the cave and bounced out of his hand. Out of frustration, he took a bonus action to punch the goblin. He made up for his natural 1 with a natural 20, striking the goblin with a punch so hard it stopped the little guy's heart.

Gamagori was up next. He was up in front and couldn't possibly reach the cave entrance to swing his battle axe, so he threw a javelin at one of the goblin archers outside. He rolled max damage and impaled the goblin to the ground.

It was now Hoka's turn and all he could do in his unconscious state was roll a death save. He rolled a 6. One fail.

Nonon used her turn to jump ahead of Ryuko's body and she casted thunderwave on the goblins outside. They all failed their saves and Nonon rolled high enough to kill all but one of the goblins that remained. As she casted thunderwave, the cave entrance partly collapsed. Nonon was able to jump out of the way, but Uzu took 4 damage and was now down to 2 out of 9 health. Some rocks landed on Ryuko and Hoka, causing the two to automatically fail a death save.

"Reckless but effective," Ted commented. Alston is at two fails while Robin has , would you mind rolling a death save?"

Ryuko took her dice and rolled it. She got a 3, that makes two fails.

"Oof! Not good!" Ted remarked, "Leena, your up. You have a partly collapsed cave entrance with one goblin outside, three goblins in front of you, and three hungry wolves to your right. What do you do?"

Satsuki runs up and tries to slash at on of the goblins in the cave, but couldn't quite manage to land a blow on any of them. Next was Nui, she ran to Ryuko and casted the cantrip Spare the Dying, instantly stabilizing her.

Next up were the goblins. Fortunately, the goblin's numbers have been thinned three goblins that Satsuki had charged toward all took a swing with their swords but only one managed to slash her leg for 5 out of 12 damage. However, things weren't looking good for Uzu because the one goblin remaining took aim and fired an arrow into his side. With all the other damage he had taken, he lost the will to fight and fell to the ground. His spectral image appeared with a d20 in hand. He rolled it and got 18, managing to ward off death for now.

Mako saw Uzu's attacker and fired an arrow of her own at it, killing it instantly. While that happened, Gamagori stepped up next to Satsuki and used his flame breath. The goblins all passed the dex save but they were badly burned in the process. After that happened, Hoka had to roll a death save. One more failure meant death for his powerful character. He rolled the dice and breathed a sigh of relief when he got a 12. Two fails, one pass.

Just as the tides of battle began to turn, the wolves managed to break away from their chains. They ran toward the nearest victim, which happened to be Satsuki. The first wolf didn't manage to hit, but as she was distracted, the second wolf bit down on her previous leg wound dealing 7 damage. This was enough to knock her unconscious yet again.

"Shit ain't looking too good," Ted commented, "Four of your party members are out cold. What do you do, Lulu?"

Nonon played a lullaby on her violin. She uses her last spell slot to cast sleep on the enemies. Her music was able to put all but one of the wolves to rest. Since Ryuko was down but stable, it was Satsuki's turn to roll a death save. She rolled a 19, a pass. Then it was Nui's turn and she used this opportunity to cast Spare the Dying on Hoka, saving him from death. Since the goblins were asleep, Uzu rolled a death save once more. He rolled an 18, another pass. Mako cast a firebolt at one of the sleeping goblins and was able to burn the little green monster in his sleep.

"Why did you all have to lie to me?" Mako cried as the cantrip hit.

Gamagori ran up to the only woken up wolf and, with a critical blow, sliced its head in two. With the rest of the enemies fast asleep. The remaining party members finished them off while Nui made sure the fallen didn't die. They dragged the unconscious party members outside of the cave and into the thicket where the goblin guards had been hiding. They decided now would be a good time to take a short rest. During this time, everyone managed to wake up.

"That was a bloodbath," Hoka remarked.

"Yeah, without Nui's cleric abilities and Nonon's sleep spell, at least one of us would be dead right now," Gamagori added.

"I would of been fine," Ryuko ranted, "But that one goblin asshole shot me in the neck. There was nothing I could do,"

"Don't worry Ryu- I mean Robin," Satsuki started, "I was knocked out twice. You could have done worse,"

"I might have survived if little miss thunderwave didn't use her spells inside the cave!" Uzu snapped at Nonon.

"Sure, my spells caused some collateral damage, but they are also the reason why we escaped so quit your complaining," Nonon replied.

"I thought I could trust the goblins," Mako wailed.

"What makes you think that? You knowing their language," Nui asked.

"Yes…," Mako answered sheepishly.

"Just as you were all resting up, Leena could sense another group of, what can be assumed to be goblin, approaching. Out from the cave, you see five goblins climb out. One of these goblins is much bigger than the rest and appears to be a leader of sorts. The big goblin walks toward you, in a comparatively more diplomatic manner," Ted narrated.

"I see you managed to kill half our clan," The big goblin started in Common, "But I see that you lot barely made it out yourselves,"

"What the hell do you want?" Ryuko demanded. She had healed up completely and pointed one of her longswords at the big Goblin's face.

"Where are my manners?" The Goblin continued, "The name's Yeemik. I used to run this gang of goblins before that crazy bugbear Klarg came along. I really want to get my spot back. Would you mind helping me out?"

"Last time your friends said that, they almost killed us," Uzu hissed.

"Perhaps I didn't specify the stakes. ChittyChitty! BangBang! Bring in the hostage!" Yeemik called out. Two goblins dragged from outside the cave a forty-something year old human man. He was scared and beaten an inch away from death. Ted told the party that they knew this man to be Gundren's personal bodyguard, Sildar Hallwinter.

"Robin? Leena? Oh Gods, they've done horrible things!" Sildar cried.

"Shut up or I'll have you cut like a hog!" Yeemik yelled. He turned toward the party, "I assume you know this man?"

"What of it?" Satsuki asked.

"I'll make a deal. Take down Klarg and you can have your pal back. If not, well I'll just have him killed right here. You got the hard part out of the way, so what's stopping you now?"

Ryuko still had one of her longswords pointed at Yeemik's face. Yeemik was a master of the poker face and wasn't fazed by this at all.

"Why don't you put your weapon down?" Yeemik asked, "It makes it hard to negotiate,"

She did as she was told and lowered her weapon. As soon as she did, she transformed yet again. "Livi," Ryuko muttered, "Keep Sildar alive,"

"Ooh sexy!" Yeemik creepily flirted, "What are you going to do? Blow us to death?" His group of goblins laughed along with him. Ryuko took this opportunity to take a stab at Yeemik. She managed to stab through his stomach but he was still kicking.

"Kill the cleric!" Yeemik gargled.

"Roll initiative!" Ted announced.

The other goblins rolled a natural 20 on initiative and went first. Three of the four arrows hit and almost killed her right then and there. The last goblin took the opportunity to stab Sildar in the back.

"You son of a bitch!" Ryuko yelled.

All Yeemik did was laugh. Nonon took her turn to slash one of the goblins that had been holding Sildar hostage but she missed. Hoka jumped out in front of her and cast flaming hands, burning three of them to a crisp. It was Ryuko's turn and she used it to drive the longsword she had in Yeemik upward until his body fell limp. Then she rushed out the the other goblin that had stabbed Sildar and killed that monster as well. Uzu's attacks missed, but Mako launched another arrow into the last goblin's shoulder. Gamagori went to swing his battle axe but the goblin, with the last bit of his strength, dodged out of the way. Nui rolled a 7 on her death save; which was a fail.

On the goblins turn, he instantly gave up. He was literally an inch away from death and his only hope of survival was the mercy of this party which no longer had any more fucks to give. Nonon and Hoka tended to Nui and Sildar's wounds while Gamagori locked the goblin up with his manacles.

"Handcuffs from your personal collection, I see," Nonon joked as she was helping Nui recover.

"So what if they are?" Mako interjected, "It's not nice to kink-shame!"

"Mako- I mean Spark, would you please stop?" Gamagori asked.

"Oh gods! What's this man going to do to me?" The goblin cried in Common.

"I'm not doing anything!" Gamagori stressed.

Hoka had just woken Nui up from unconsciousness and Ryuko felt bad about putting her in that tricky situation.

"Are you alright… Livi?" Ryuko asked.

"I'm fine, I can walk," Nui squeaked.

"Hardly," Hoka interjected, "Literally one more point of damage and she would have died instantly. She's lucky to be alive,"

"I'm so sorry," Ryuko apologized as she hugged Nui.

"It's okay Ryuko! I'm fine, really!"

"Girl, you got one health point. No, you're not," Ted commented, "Anyway, you've taken a half-dead goblin prisoner, what do you do?"

"I say we get some info out of him!" Uzu shouted, "How many of you assholes are left?"

"The-there should only be about five goblins, Klarg and his pet wolf. I swear! Please don't kill me!" The goblin pleaded.

"Alright," Ryuko said, "But if I find any more, that's your head. Got it!"

The goblin only sobbed and nodded his head. With the goblin's guidance, the party went down the stream coming from the cave. This stream was trickling through a dam that was holding back big pools of water. Hanging out by the dam were three goblins on guard.

"Let's surprise them," Mako whispered.

"Yeah, because that worked well last time," Nonon sighed. Ryuko, Satsuki, Gamagori, and Uzu ran forward to engage the goblins in close range combat. Uzu went for a sword swing and missed but made up for it with a quick punch to the furthest goblin's face. It had hit him just right to where he was knocked out cold. Ryuko cleaved through the next goblin and Satsuki cleaved through the last.

"Good job making quick work of those three," echoed a low, guttural voice. The party turned around to see what looked like a six and a half foot tall hairy goblin, two armored goblins, and a mangy pet wolf, "Klarg is impressed," The hairy goblin finished.

"So I assume you are this Klarg we've been hearing about?" Satsuki spoke.

"Klarg is here," The bugbear responded, "Klarg's question is, What are you doing in Klarg's cave!?"

"We're here to kick your ass!" Ryuko blurted, "We already killed everyone else, you have nothing!"

"Oh, Klarg has something," Klarg smirked.

"Rooooooooolllllllll initiative!" Ted announced.

"I'm tired of this combat," Ryuko sighed.

"Just deal with it, should be the last one of the session," Ted said.

Klarg rolled the highest and therefore got to go first. He pulled out a scroll from his belt and opened it. Suddenly the ground started to rumble as thunderwave was casted on the four melee fighters out front. All but Uzu passed the dex save. After the scroll was cast, this left Ryuko and Uzu still standing as the force of the thunderwave knocked Satsuki and Gamagori into the dam. They were both unconscious. Then the falling rock came. Ryuko managed to dodge this with ease while Uzu's last inch of vitality was squashed with a falling stalactite to the head. Over behind the bend, only Nonon and Hoka were hit with the falling rocks which at this point were fairly minor so they were both able to bounce back easily enough.

"Lulu, three of your four fighter friends are knocked out and you have no spells. What do?" Ted announced.

"What's bardic inspiration again?" Nonon asked.

"Basically you play your instrument and you give a person you choose a inspiration dice that can be used to boost an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw,"

Nonon takes out her violin, "I'll give one to Ryuko, she needs it," Nonon played a sweet melody on her violin and Ryuko felt an extra bit of power flow through her.

The two goblin guards went to attack. The first one managed to get Ryuko for 3 damage, which dropped her down to 3 out of 15 health. Fortunately, the goblin behind him rolled a 1, slipped and accidentally thrust his sword into his partner's chest. The goblin that had just landed that blow was killed by his friend's blade.

"How embarrassing," Senketsu the scarf remarked.

Hoka jumped out with his stubby legs and cast magic missile on the clumsy goblin. The first two missiles killed it while he directed the third missile at the wolf, which did minimal damage. Ryuko, who had no other course of action, activated her final rage and transformed into her skimpy scarf outfit. As Klarg was distracted by Ryuko's revealing attire, she swung her sword at him. This attack slashed his chest fairly deep, dealing a whopping 12 damage to the sturdy bugbear.

Satsuki and Uzu's spectral images floated over their bodies. They rolled their death save; Uzu passed with a 10 while Satsuki failed with a 5.

"I think you guys might have this," Ted commented, "Livi, it's your turn,"

Nui chanted a few words (Healing word) and suddenly, Satsuki found herself in her body once more, floating in the dam. Mako took her turn to cast magic missile at the wolf, knocking it to an inch of its life. Just as Mako did this, the excess magic that had been stored inside her surged.

"Hey Spark, how old are you?" Ted asked.

"Uh.. twenty-three,"

Ted rolled a d20 and did some quick math. "Now you are fourteen," Ted announced. Mako shrank down in accordance to the ruling.

"How did that happen?" Gamagori's spectral image shouted.

"She's a wild magic sorcerer," Ted answered, "Weird things can happen while she casts spells. I actually tweaked some things to make it go off more often. Just hope she doesn't fireball herself, or else she and everyone else around her will die instantly. Gredhall, your save,"

Gamagori rolled his death save and got a 1.

"Oof! Natural 1's on a death save is two fails," Ted declared, "Try not to die,"

It was the top of the turn order again and Klarg smirked a toothy grin. He swung down maul at Ryuko, which just barely hit her. Even with rage and its damage resistance, she couldn't take 5 damage and she was knocked upside the head, falling unconscious. Her clothes changed back to their normal commoner attire. Klarg laughed maniacally.

"Klarg may not be able to win! But Klarg will take a few of you bastards with me to Nine Hells!" Klarg laughed.

Nonon gripped her rapier and went to lunge at the Bugbear, but her attack just missed. Hoka stayed back and cast a firebolt. Even with his immense spell modifier, the firebolt missed it's mark and flew past Klarg. Ryuko and Uzu failed their death saves, leaving Satsuki up next. She climbed out the pool and had just enough movement to strike the bugbear. It was a weak attack for her, only dealing 7 damage, but the additional slash took a number on Klarg as he began to look weakened. Klarg coughed up a little blood.

"One of your friends will die," Klarg coughed, "And it will be because of Klarg. If that happens, Klarg live in your mind forever!"

"Oh shit, I forgot to roll for the wolf," Ted exclaimed as he quickly rolled the wolf's initiative. The weak wolf turned its eyes to the halfling bard and took a bite at her. This bite was brutal. The wolf bit at Nonon's jugular, dealing enough damage to knock her out as well. While that was going on, Nui jumped into the water and cast Spare the Dying on Gamagori; keeping him from falling into Death's grasp.

The fourteen-year-old cat-girl Mako fired an arrow at the wolf and finished it off, leaving Nonon safe from any additional damage the wolf may have caused. With Gamagori stable but still down, it was Klarg's turn yet again. He swung his maul at Satsuki and it hit her in the side, causing her to fall over once more. Klarg continued to laugh and mock the remaining party members as the life slowly trickles from his wounds. Just as he was distracted, Hoka threw another firebolt. This bolt of fire burned brighter than the previous ones as it flew to Klarg's face, dealing max damage and burning him to death. He let out a scream of agony as he kneeled over and died.

The three remaining party members, as well as Sildar, tended to the wounded and fished Gamagori out of the pond. As they recovered from the fight, they noticed that the goblin they captured looked a lot more like a certain peeping tom than they remember.

"Let me out!" the goblin yelled, "Can't a man enjoy his sentient sock in peace? Why am I in a cave? Why am I shackled up?" He then looked up to see his sister had cat ears and a tail and was much younger, "W-why are you a teenage cat-girl?"

"It's a long story," Ryuko sighed.

"Hey Mataro, you are in the most immersive game of Dungeons and Dragons ever," Ted announced, "Your goblin tribe was wiped out by these guys and you are the sole survivor. Everything else is up to you,"

"Well, I guess since the goblin is your little brother," Gamagori said to Mako and Nui, "He should be left alive,"

"Wait! You were going to kill me! Not cool!" Mataro cried.

"Promise not to attack us?" Nui asked.

"Even if I didn't know you guys, you killed everyone I knew in this cave. I should be scared shitless right now,"

Gamagori unlocked the manacles and let the little goblin go.

"What's your name?" Hoka asked.

"Uh… Mataro," Mataro answered. He leaned over to Nui, "I think he got amnesia too,"

"No, he meant your character name," Ted elaborated, "You play as a character that is different from yourself, well except Ryuko who decided to basically play as herself, but that's besides the point,"

"I don't know… Pogo… I guess?" Mataro stammered.

"Awesome, what's your class?" Ted asked.

"I just got here man! I didn't want to join this game! I don't know, what is the sneakiest class I can play?"

"That would be a rouge," Ted answered.

"I guess I'll pick that… Look if I'm stuck here, can I at least have Guts as well,"

"You're not stuck here for much longer, but I'll let Guts join as a wolf that had been asleep during the raid," Ted said, "As for the rest of you, you notice there is a sort of treasure room. Boxes of supplies scattered the room as you scan it. Some other items of note are a simple treasure chest and a few caged animals,"

Hoka took a closer look at the animals. One of the animals looked to be some kind of sickly, reptilian-looking chicken. The other looked like some kind of tiny cat-sized red dragon.

"What do I know about these creatures," Hoka asked.

"Roll arcana, one for each creature," Ted suggested.

Hoka was given two d20's and he tossed them onto the ground. He rolled a 21 with modifiers with the dragon and rolled a 16 with the chicken.

"The dragon creature is a Faerie Dragon. They are friendly little tricksters that play pranks on the people passing through its territory. Usually offering it sweets or baked good will allow for safe passage through their lands. You can tell the age of a Faerie Dragon by the color of its scales. With it being red, you know that it is less than five years old. Do any of you other than Gredhall speak Draconic?"

"I do!" Nui blurted.

"Cool, you both can understand him. As for the chicken, you know that to be a baby cockatrice. Once these reach maturity, they grow up to nine feet tall and are able to turn anyone they bite into stone. They reach maturity rather quickly, but you don't know when that will be at the moment,"

"While those guys are looking at the petting zoo, I'll open the chest," Ryuko declared. She opens the chest to find a variety of copper, silver, and gold pieces. As well as a diamond studded bracelet.

"Robin, in the chest you find 800 copper pieces, 220 silver pieces, and 40 gold pieces as well as a diamond studded bracelet that, even to you, seems to give off a wild aura of magic. Oh, you also find two potions of healing,"

"That would look good on me!" Mako exclaimed, "Does it do anything?"

"I have to cast an identify ritual to know for sure," Hoka said as he took the bracelet and began the ritual.

"What about these other crates," Nonon asked, "Can we loot them too?"

"I wouldn't," Sildar suggested, "Do you see the insignia on the crates? They were supposed to be shipped to the Lionshield Coaster. If you deliver the supplies to them in Phandalin, I am sure you will be rewarded. Speaking of rewards, I owe you my life. On top of the ten gold pieces you were offered for this job, I will throw in an extra five for each of you for saving me once we reach the town. However, Gundren was hauled off a while ago. I don't know where,"

"Okay, let's carry the crates to the carts and head out," Uzu suggested.

"What about the animals?" Nui asked.

"We don't need them," Uzu continued, "You heard Ted, the chicken turns people into stone. Do you want that?"

"But I can talk to the little dragon," Nui replied.

"Look, if you want to handle those animals, be my guest," Uzu scoffed, "Just don't let them get in the way,"

Nui opened the cage and set the little dragon free. It flew around, enjoying its newfound freedom.

"Thank you, Miss Cleric," The Faerie Dragon spoke in Draconic, "I spent most of my life here in captivity and it's nice to be able to move again,"

"That's awful," Nui wailed, "Would you like to come with us? We'll feed you, I'll buy you treats,"

"Oh boy, this is my lucky day!" The little dragon cheered.

"I want the chicken!" Mako blurted.

"It turns people to stone Mako- I mean Spark," Ryuko reiterated.

"If we treat it nice it won't hurt us," Mako said, "Just like Nui after she lost her memories,"

"One is human girl," Satsuki explained, "While the other can grow into a nine foot monster that turns people into stone. Do we really need to keep saying this?"

"With Mako, yes," Ryuko replied.

"Roll animal handling to see how you get along with the creature, Spark," Ted announced.

Mako rolled the d20 and rolled a 16, with her modifiers, it equaled a 19. Mako reaches her hand out to pet the chicken and the cockatrice accepts it, having felt a loving hand for the first time in its life.

"I'm done identifying the bracelet," Hoka announced, "This bracelet increases the magical damage from the user wearing it, but at a dangerous cost of magical surges, like the one that turned Spark into a teenager. Many have perished using this bracelet and-,"

"I'll take it!" Mako blurted.

"Uh… oh… okay," Hoka stammered as he handed the bracelet off to Mako.

"You became nine years younger!" Nonon exclaimed, "Why would you want to mess around with that?"

"It's fun," Mako answered.

"Of course," Nonon sighed.

"Alright folks, we are reaching the end of the session. Good game, I increased the number of goblins to account for such a large party and I think I've done well enough. It was challenging but you were able to overcome the obstacles, Mataro, build your character sheet for next session. You will be playing next week. How was the game? Any thoughts?"

"You could have warned us you were going to transport us into the game like this," Ryuko ranted.

"C'mon Ryuko, it was fun!" Mako beamed.

"You weren't getting knocked out left and right," Ryuko replied.

"I'll admit, despite the nearly dying multiple times, it was fun to experience such a challenge," Satsuki admitted.

"Same time next week then?" Ted asked.

The party agreed. Next thing they knew, they were sitting at the table once more. Ryuko looked at the clock and noticed a few hours had passed.

"Alright, you load up the crates into your carts and take them to Phandalin, along with your treasures and animal friends. Once you take a long rest, you will all be level two so be sure to update your character sheets before next week," Ted snapped his fingers and the character sheets he had burned were back in front of their original owners. Mataro had his own character sheet that had to be filled out, "I'm glad you were all able to play, thank you and have a good night," With that Ted disappeared and left the players at the table.

"By the way, we are not sharing the treasure with you," Ryuko said to Mataro.

"But I'm the sole survivor of the goblin clan! It should all be mine anyway!" Mataro ranted.

"But we looted it from you, so too bad," Nonon teased.

The players came away from the table happy. They had enjoyed their momentary escape into another land, even if it was just as dangerous as a normal Truth or Dare session.


	11. Young, Confused Love (and Perversions)

**Remember how I said in the last chapter that the DnD chapter is posted out of order. You'll see what I mean shortly.**

It was a wonderful day at Kiryuin Manor. It had been nearly two weeks since the last Truth or Dare session and everyone took this time to unwind. Isshin showed his daughter's the magic that was American 80's movies, Mataro had a couple of fun nights with Nui the sock puppet, Guts was ogiling the Sylveon, and much more. This would have been the perfect break for everyone but Ryuko, not sure of how she felt about Nui the person, had to break bad news to her on the patio.

"Y-you don't like me," Nui wepted.

"It's not that Nui, you're a wonderful woman," Ryuko comforted, "It's just that… I don't know if a death game is the best time to be looking for a relationship,"

"Then what was the other night, huh?" Nui wailed.

"Nui, I hardly remember that night. I was on hard drugs. I wasn't myself,"

"But that night was amazing. You showed me a kind of love I've never felt before," Nui sobbed, "That was the first time I did something like that and I want to continue sharing moments like that...with you,"

"Uh…," Senketsu started.

"Save the technicalities Senketsu," Ryuko interrupted, "I'm sorry Nui. I know you've changed, but I don't know how to feel about dating my former arch-nemesis. I just need some time to… figure myself out,"

Nui flopped her head on the table and cried into it. "That's exactly what you told Mako when you broke up with her! Mako said you'd break my heart!" The water from her tears had made the table sticky. She felt this as she lifted her head off the table, "Wha-what's with the table?"

Mataro came running by with a candle and hand while licking a lightbulb.

"Everything is made of candy! This is the best day ever!" Once he screamed this, Nui's crying started up again and she slammed her head down on the candy table, "What's wrong sis?"

"Now's not a good time, Mataro," Senketsu warned.

"What's going on?" Mataro persisted.

"Ryuko doesn't like me!" Nui wailed.

"Not cool, Ryuko," Mataro shamed.

Ryuko pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Her hopes of letting Nui down easy blew up in her face.

* * *

Inside the manor, Satsuki was laying down on the couch, which for some odd reason felt like a marshmallow. She felt ill and she didn't know why. The smoking of her medicinal cannabis helped with the nausea and vomiting but even after a full night's rest, she felt lethargic. Nonon noticed this and she just had to check up on her.

"Are you feeling ill, Satsuki?" Nonon asked.

"Yes," Satsuki groaned, "probably just a stomach bug or something. I smoked some medicine and at least the vomiting stopped. I wish I could just lay here and sleep but before I nod off, I have to pee again,"

"Anything else?"

"Well, my breasts have some tenderness to it them, but other than that, nothing else,"

Nonon had googled the first symptoms of pregnancy after her nightmare in Jamaica. Everything Satsuki was telling her checked off every symptom on the list. She began to worry.

"Satsuki, this might seem a little out of left field, but did you use protection a couple weeks ago with Uzu?"

Satsuki had to think hard to remember if they did or not. Satsuki came to the conclusion that she was so pushy with her mind all drugged up that they both forgot.

"Uh...oh god we didn't… you don't think its that. Do you? I still haven't had my period!" Satsuki murmured.

"Everything you just told me checks off the entire list of early signs of pregnancy," Nonon explained, "It's a likely possibility right now. If we were able to leave your house, I'd go the convenience store and pick up a pregnancy test for you,"

"I guess we'll have to ask Bob or Ted later on,"

"We'll get some tests after the session," said the voice of Ted from behind the couch. Nonon looked up and Satsuki turned over in surprise to see the two hosts standing by, eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Were you listening the entire time?" Nonon growled.

"We caught the good part," Bob answered, "Anyway, we are having a session today and there aren't such a thing as sick days here,"

Everyone filled into the living room over the next few minutes. Most of the Mankanshokus had figured out that literally everything was made of candy and were eating small objects and pieces of what used to be sheetrock to see how they tasted. Nui and Ryuko walked in from the patio, both of them upset for their own reason. Later on, Uzu walked in from the hallway. Bob went up to his ear.

"You might be a father," Bob whispered.

This sent chills down Uzu's spine. He knew exactly what he was talking about and the thought of impregnating Satsuki of all people scared him. He liked her, sure. But he also knew how terrifying she was when she wanted to be. His fears only heightened when he saw her sprawled out on the couch.

"Hello everyone," Bob greeted, "Welcome back to another session of Truth or Dare. As you may have noticed. Everything in the house is now made of some kind of candy. Personally, I recommend the insulation in the wall. It tastes like cotton candy and doesn't cause you to get itchy like normal insulation. Anyway way, that was a dare by Gabe2000, so we'll start with his dares first. Does anyone know where the sock puppet is at?"

Mataro ran over to the laundry room to grab Nui the sock puppet out of the dryer. He came back and put the sock on his hand, causing the sock to come to life.

"Finally! I'm not on that boy's dick!" The sock screamed.

"Doesn't it bother you that the sock sounds exactly like your adopted sister?" Ted asked.

"My sister doesn't yell so much," Mataro answered, "That's all the sock puppet does,"

"Because you are violating me!" The sock puppet screamed.

"That's called karma, dipshit!" Ryuko scoffed, "An eye for an eye, so they say,"

Nui wondered what other horrible atrocities she had done to Ryuko that could possibly make her hate her. She knew that she had killed her dad and fought her a few times, but she wasn't filled in on every little detail. It's not like she needed them anyway. The less she knew about her past the better.

"Anyway, how is life as a cum sock?" Bob asked Nui the sock puppet.

"What do you think? It's horrible! I come to life everytime I'm used and I just feel gross afterwards,"

"What wonderful insight," Bob remarked. Bob snapped his fingers and everyone was given a small bag of dice.

"What's this?" Gamagori asked.

"DnD dice," Bob answered, "Ted will be hosting a game in a few days if anyone wants to join,"

"I haven't played since college," Isshin reminisced.

"Well, the game has changed since then," Hoka commented, "I used to play a little bit of 3.5e in elementary school,"

"Well, now it's fifth edition bitches!" Ted exclaimed.

"Moving on to Mako," Bob continued, "You currently know everyone's dick size. Name the top and bottom 3 if you will,"

Mako was flooded with images of every man's dick like a thot on Tinder. When she looked at a man, an image of their dick as well as size when fully erect popped up above their heads as if she had some kind of perverted Shinigami eyes or something. This included her family so she was quick to avoid that.

"Out of all the adults here," Mako started, "The biggest three are Ira with nine inches, Aikuro with seven inches, and Mitsuzo with six and a half,"

"Woah, no wonder why you date Gamagori," Nonon commented.

"The smallest three are Shiro and...Dad… with four and three-quarters inches, then Uzu with four and a half. Everyone else is about average,"

Uzu sighed. Not only was he possibly the father of Satsuki's possible baby, he officially had the smallest dick out of everyone there. (Except Mataro, but he's like twelve or some shit).

"Alright," Bob continued, Since Isshin didn't get to raise his daughters, he didn't get to punish them. So to make up for that, Isshin must give them a spanking,"

"What a fucking weirdo," The now young Isshin remarked.

"You haven't seen Ac's dares yet," Bob commented.

Isshin bent his daughters over his knee and gave them both a very uncomfortable spanking. Satsuki felt like she had to vomit, not because the dare was fucked up, but because she was on her stomach and the nausea was coming back.

"Now, to reveal everyone's internet history...wait… even mine!" Bob announced.

The cast laughed. "Show us what you've been hiding Bob," Nonon gibed.

"After you all," Bob said, "Shiro, We know you look at hentai. Including weird shit like ZONE and Shadman. Seriously man, what the hell. Ryuko?"

Ryuko sighed. "Worst thing I got on my history is a two-girl interracial threesome. I have some amateur straight and lesbian stuff as well but that's it,"

"Oh, Ac wants to know your sexuality," Bob brought up.

"I'm bi, I thought that was obvious," Ryuko answered.

"Gamagori, I'm guessing some bondage masochist shit, right?" Bob asked.

"Not really," Gamagori answered, "It's not the same watch someone else do it,"

"I do!" Mako exclaimed, "I'm always looking to try new things,"

"I keep telling you Mako, half the moves on those video are mostly for show," Gamagori stressed.

"Nonon? Hoka?" Bob continued.

"We've been so distracted with each other, we haven't looked at porn in weeks," Nonon answered.

"Ah, the honeymoon phase," Isshin remarked, "Enjoy it while you can,"

"Sounds like someone's still bitter," Ragyo replied.

"I think I have every reason to be," Isshin replied back.

"Satsuki?"

"Can it wait?" Satsuki asked, "I need to vomit," She instantly ran off into the nearest bathroom.

"What's her deal?" Mataro asked.

"She's probably pregnant," Bob bluntly answered.

Isshin immediately turned his glare to Uzu, who was really uncomfortable as of now. This day just keeps getting worse.

"That's enough history searching, let's move on to-,"

"Wait! You didn't tell us yours!" Nonon shouted.

"Fine! Recent searches are Asians, Ebony, and Mia Khalifa," Bob answered, "Now let's move onto Ac's dares. But before we do, he is granting one wish to all of you. Now Uzu, how was Satsuki in bed?"

"Can I answer this another time?" Uzu fretted as Isshin stared him down.

"No," Bob answered.

"It was fun… she was insane because of all the meth you given her, but it was… a good night,"

Just as he finished, Satsuki walked back in.

"Satsuki, the next dare asks you how Uzu's dick size was but I think that was reset before the game, am I correct?" Bob asked.

"Yes, but… it was an enjoyable night. Probably wouldn't consider it without all of the drugs you'd given me, but… it was fun," Satsuki answered nervously.'

"Ryuko," Bob continued, "Ac notices that you are becoming the one who sleeps around with everyone,"

"And…?"

"No that's it, he just wanted to imply you were kinda slutty," Bob said.

Nui thought to herself again. Was Ryuko not satisfied with her? Nui had to be shown a lot of tricks that night which left the pleasure a little unbalanced in her favor. Was she not enough?

"Nonon, go hit the showers with Hoka and pee in his mouth," Bob announced.

"Ew!" Hoka gagged.

Nonon sighed and took her boyfriend along with her.

"Ragyo, drink this potion," Bob commanded while pulling a green vile out of his pocket, "I don't even know what it does,"

Ragyo sighed and drank it. She instantly lost all memories of who she was, lost her life-fibers, and transformed into a baby… permanently.

"Oh, that's not good," Bob remarked, "Luckily we have a dare later on that will handle this. But for now, who wants to get force choked? I pick… you," Bob pointed to Mitsuzo and began to levitate his body. He squeezed his fist, causing him to choke. As he was choking, Bob moved on, "I'd dare the sock puppet to give Mataro a blowjob, but I think he's ahead of me on that front. So I will turn my attention to Omiko. You got a crush on Uzu don't ya? I know it. Since when?"

Omiko blushed out of embarrassment, "He was a grade ahead of me. Ever since I saw him, I thought he was kinda cute. I disappointed him after I lost my tennis match with Ryuko. Sidenote, having my face slammed against my racket hurt like hell,"

"I… don't feel the same," Uzu replied.

"I understand," Omiko sighed, "You're going to fathering Lady Satsuki's child anyway,"

"You told everyone!" Satsuki shouted.

"Uh, yeah," Bob said, "As for the next dares, The male elite four members will have an insatiable sex drive that will last for five days. Meanwhile, the females will be nude, on their knees with arms and legs handcuffed. They will have dog collars with tags that say 'Eat me' on them. The rest of you, try to the horny elite four members down,"

"Can we use our collective wish to skip this?" Isshin asked.

"Yeah! There's no way we can hold Gamagori back," Aikuro spoke.

"I suppose, I felt dirty saying it to be honest. Ac gets some of his dares inspired by hentai just so you all know," Bob said.

"That explains a lot," Nonon quipped.

"For the last dare from Ac, everyone is not addicted to drugs anymore,"

"Does that include alcohol?" Barazo asked.

"Yes,"

"Wait, if we aren't addicted anymore. Does that mean our tolerances are at their lowest?" Isshin asked.

"Y-yes, bu-,"

"So if I smoke weed next time, it'll be like the first time all over again?" Satsuki asked.

"I think you are all missing the point of the dare, but you are all technically correct," Bob sighed as he pulled a chunk of marshmallow off the sofa, exposing the graham cracker frame of the couch, "Ac had more dares in store, but he always goes over ten and I can't do them. So now we move on to CrazyMetamorph9573...where is Rei?"

"Did you forget her too?" Ted asked.

"Well, obviously," Bob snapped, "Let me track her," Bob pulled out a radar device of some kind and as soon as he set it, it let out a loud, rapid beeping sound.

"Funny, it says she's inside the house. Above us," Ted grabbed a ball, which had been turned into a jawbreaker and threw it above him. The two hosts stepped out of the way as Rei Hoomaru fell from the ceiling.

"You were here this entire time?" Satsuki exclaimed.

"My apologise Lady Satsuki, there was simply no fighting this man," Rei apologized.

Bob noticed that Mitsuzo had finally been killed and he tossed his body away. He walked up to Rei and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm-,"

"Yes, Bob InsaneGuy. I know," Rei interrupted.

"Cool, with introductions out of the way, you are now responsible for the well-being of Ragyo. She has been transformed into baby and her only way out is to grow up. She has no memories and no life-fibers. Do you think you can be a good mother?"

"Uh… what the-,"

"Good," Bob moved on, "I'd ask Nui Prime if she would like to be closer to Lady Ragyo. Either way she would be forced into being her baby clothes. Although something tells me her current fate is worse. Besides, she'd be a bad influence. Where is Nonon and Hoka?"

Hoka and Nonon stepped out into the living room again. The two looked as though they had just finished taking a shower.

"I don't understand why you like that," Hoka said. Even after brushing his teeth and washing his mouth out, he still feels dirty.

"I don't either!" Nonon exasperated, "I don't even like it that much! It's more trouble than it's worth!"

"Welcome back you two," Bob greeted, "Nonon, go get breastfed by Mako,"

"Don't you only produce breast milk if you're expecting," Hoka asked.

"I do it anyway!" Mako blurted.

"Of course you do," Nonon sighed, "Let's get this over with,"

Nonon laid down in Mako's lap and she pulled out her breast. Nonon began to reluctantly suck on her nipple. It felt weird, especially in front of everyone. Luckily for her, the next dare was to have Satsuki lick the ground while making moaning noises and flopping around like a fish, which was funnier and less awkward to watch. After a minute or so, Nonon stopped and Mako put her bra back on.

"Does baby need a burping?" Mako cooed.

"Don't push it!" Nonon yelled.

"Almost done folks, today's kinda short because NuclearCracker didn't submit anything this time around," Bob continued, "Nui, how would you feel about a futa Ryuko? Also, would you like to have your other eye back,"

"I don't care about Ryuko," Nui shouted in rejected anger before being shocked for lying.

"The lie detector determined that was a lie," Bob announced like a day-time tv host.

"Of course I want my other eye," Nui sobbed, "But, it doesn't matter what Ryuko has. She doesn't like me,"

The Mankanshoku family glared at Ryuko. A surprising move considering how nice they've always been to her.

"I didn't say that!" Ryuko defended, "Am I the only one that finds it weird that my father's killer is falling in love with me? Am I the only one who doesn't want to start a relationship in a game where some of us are killed or transformed every week?"

"No Ryuko! I totally agree!" Isshin chimed in.

"Thanks Dad… Look Mako, I'm sorry for breaking up with you months ago. I know we made up, but I know you're just looking out for your sister. But I'm not trying to break hearts or sleep around or anything. I broke up with you because having life-fibers makes me immortal. I can't die and I age at a slower rate once I reach a certain point. I can't stand to get too attached and lose everything I love and care about while I walk the world alone,"

Mako and Nui teared up at this. Mako was weeping because she felt sorry for Ryuko and understands her point of view now. However, Nui was weeping because she realized she shared the same fate as Ryuko. Even with her loving family, they'll all die one day and she'll be alone.

"I see," Bob said, "We'll get back to that in just a second," Bob snapped his fingers and Ryuko suddenly remembered her two meth-fueled sexual encounters clear as day, "How would you rate your night with Nui compared to your night with Mako and Gamagori?"

"Really? You're asking this now?" Ryuko ranted. She sighed, "Can you leave the room Dad?" She glanced over and noticed that he had already left, as well as the Mankanshoku parents, "It's not a fair comparison. Mako and Gamagori were fun. I had a good time and I saw sorta both of their… plaything. But Nui had maybe a month of memories when we slept together. She didn't know much so I had to… teach her… I didn't get off as much but I felt… more of a… connection,"

It was at that moment Ryuko realized she fucked up.

"Oh god, I think I've fallen for her too," Ryuko proclaimed. Nui shot up, "I don't know why. It makes no sense. Maybe it's because you've changed so much that you're unrecognizable from the old Nui Harime. Maybe it's because we're both stuck with life-fibers and doomed to be alone. Fuck, it could be both,"

"Ryuko…," Nui breathed.

"It wasn't fair to just dump you like that. But I really did want to figure myself out. Luckily, I just did,"

"How sweet," Bob remarked, "Now Ryuko, if Nui were to remain life-fiber infused for the rest of her life, would you stay as one as well if it meant being together?"

"Is this a dare or a wedding ceremony?" Ryuko sassed, "Look, if we both have the opportunity to be human I'd take it and I'm sure you would too, right Nui?"

"Yeah, but Ryuko. I don't want to be pushy, but...would you?" Nui asked.

"God I hate this mushy, lovey-dovey stuff," Ryuko sighed, "Even still, I think I'm too young to decide what I want in life. I just graduated high school for crying out loud! But there are certainly worse fates. I don't want to say I'll stay with anyone forever, but… Nui, do you want to go out with me? For real?"

Nui jumped up to embrace Ryuko and the two girls kissed. The parents of the girls came walking back in at the time. Isshin had not been expecting to see his mind-wiped assassin making out with his daughter. The sight was so unbelievable, he still thought he was dead and in some kind of weird limbo-like purgatory. The Mankanshoku simply thought that the two girls were adorable. Isshin didn't understand.

"Now for the final dare!" Bob declared, "Mataro! Give Nui any sexy photos you have of Ryuko!"

"What?" Nui said as she suddenly stopped kissing her new-found lover.

"Welp, I guess RyukoMatoiLive dot com is over," Mataro sighed.

Ryuko placed Nui down and stood over Mataro. She was so pissed off it was scary.

"Little brother, what's this website about?" Nui asked.

"Yes Mataro, tell her what it's about," Ryuko seethed, "No, tell me. Tell everyone!"

"Me and a few of my friends… set up multiple tiny webcams around your room… and the website is a livestream of that… As well as an archive of pictures and best moments,"

"How long?" Ryuko huffed.

"My friends set it up about ten months ago. I didn't manage it I swear! Especially when you were dating Mako! That'd be weird!"

Ryuko turned to Nui. "Nui, I do this all the time, but do you mind if I kick your little brother's ass?"

"Go ahead, it's what he gets for being a weirdo,"

* * *

It had been a few hours after the Truth or Dare session. Uzu and Satsuki were in the living room, waiting for Ted to pick up a bunch of pregnancy tests. On the wall behind them, a clean, Mataro shaped hole was punched into the wall. Then the walls after that until one could see the outside where the boy landed.

Back to the two on the couch however. Uzu and Satsuki had been fairly awkward about their encounter the other night and this was certainly no different. Satsuki, who at this point was a blossoming habitual pothead (which in a game like this, can you blame her?), reached for a joint and lighter.

"La- um Satsuki, if worse comes to worse, don't you think you shouldn't be smoking with a baby," Uzu spoke up.

Satsuki realized this and immediately leaned back from the table. "Your right, your right. It may not seem like it, but I am freaking out right now. I don't want a child!"

"I should have insisted on using a condom more," Uzu apologized, "I'm sorry,"

"I should have not been so hasty. Even though I was drugged, I should have controlled myself better,"

The awkward silence continued for a few long seconds until Uzu spoke up again.

"Either way, thanks for making me a dude again that night. It felt weird being a chick,"

Satsuki chuckled. "I was transformed into a man before and it was weird too. But if you really want weird Hoka and Nonon…,"

"Oh, they banged after having their genders swapped, didn't they?!"

"Yeah, apparently the female orgasm is the best thing you'll never experience,"

"What, personally? Don't tell me you faked it the entire night," Uzu joked.

"No… I enjoyed it. It's not something I expected I'd be into,"

"What? Sex?"

"I guess, too many bad times with mother,"

"Oh," Uzu just realized the conversation got weird again.

"But don't worry about your… package… I don't have any complaints,"

"Oh… uh… thank you,"

Just then, Ted walked in with bags of pregnancy tests in both hands and threw them down on the coffee table. Satsuki immediately grabbed one and headed toward the nearest bathroom. After a few minutes, she walked back, happy as ever.

"So… what was it," Uzu asked.

"It was negative!" Satsuki cheered.

The two jumped up and gave each other a hug. Then they both realized they were hugging and stopped.

"Oh yeah, I knew you weren't pregnant," Ted mentioned.

"Then what was all that for?" Uzu shouted.

"It was part of one of Ac's dares. Make Satsuki think she was pregnant. Speaking of which her period should be starting in about… a minute,"

Satsuki sighed and went to the restroom yet again, reminded of the monthly struggles of womanhood.

* * *

Nonon walked through the house later that night. She had been enjoying her new lowered tolerance to alcohol and was going to the kitchen to look for a snack. As she passed through the living room, she noticed the bags of pregnancy tests on the table and she took one.

 **Hi, Ted here! I'm done posting out of order. Next chapter should be a DnD chapter. Those take a bit of time to write because I actually roll for everyone in those. It gives me time to wait for your dares.**

 **As for Ac… MAKE AN ACCOUNT! I don't understand why you don't. With all the reviews you leave me, you'd think it'd be easier to message me. I know it'd be easier for me to message you. Currently the only means of contact I have with you is when I post another chapter.**

 **Other than that, hope you enjoy. I'm wondering when I should end the series and move onto another show. I can't write this forever and good things must come to an end. Assassination Classroom looks good so far. Just finished Season 1. If I do end it, I'll still keep up with the DnD chapters or perhaps just have two different stories for them. I don't know.**

 **Also, Ac wants to know how old all of you are. Don't know why. He also asks if you would all like to see everyone horrifically murdered or do awkward, batshit insane things. He wants you all to decide as well. Just keep in mind. I have to write this stuff down so nothing super creepy and crazy. (Well, this story should have been M rated a while ago)**

 **Long outro, I know. Thanks for reading**


	12. D&D: Bones, The Back-Alley Wolf Doctor

It was a quiet night at Kiryuin Manor. Despite Ted's initial deception and their struggles in-game, the group was eager for another session in The Forgotten Realms. Mataro was less excited, being dragged along merely on a whim. Mataro brought his dog, Guts, who will be playing as a his pet wolf.

The players all had their character sheets updated to level two and they were excited to use their new abilities. Gamagori could cast paladin spells now, even if his Charisma isn't that great with a 12. Uzu had ki points, Nonon had song of rest, and Hoka was able to pick a school of magic, Divination.

The players gathered around the table with Ted waiting at the head.

"Welcome back players," Ted greeted, "I'm glad you all weren't too put off by all the tricks I pulled last time,"

"Better your tricks than Bob's," Satsuki said flatly.

"Yeah, you got that right," Ryuko agreed, "Can't believe he started another Truth or Dare,"

"Anyway, last session, you were all on your way to Phandalin to deliver some cargo for your employer, Gundren. Leena notices a broken down cart with dead horses and realizes that they were walking into an ambush. After a failed counter-ambush and a little sparing, Spark convinces the goblins to take them to their cave to defeat a bugbear named Klarg and put a stop to the goblins reign of terror. Unfortunately, the goblins had the idea to attack you at the cave's entrance, leading to a two front battle where more than half of the party was injured. As you rest, Yeemik and his band of goblins came out with Sildar and offered to trade him for Klarg's head. Robin refused and killed Yeemik. With the only major injury going to Livi, who had nearly been killed by the rain of arrows. The sole goblin survivor so far led you to Klarg's lair, where another bloody battle ensued. Spark became fourteen. You all found some pets and decided to take the sole goblin survivor, Pogo, along with his wolf… What's your character name, Guts?"

"I don't know, can't I just use my name?" Guts asked.

"No, gotta come up with a new name," Ted ruled.

"I don't want to pick something generic like Scar or Omega. How did you come up with Pogo?" Guts asked.

"I just thought of a pogo stick and went with that," Mataro answered.

"Yeah, that does sound dumb. Screw it, I'll go with Bones,"

"Excellent, but before we start. Guts, you're just playing a normal wolf, but I decided to roll your mental stats and here is a fun fact. You are smarter than everyone in the party, except the wizard,"

"Nice," Guts remarked.

"With that said, let's begin," Ted opened the vortex and the players were sucked down into the world of The Forgotten Realms once more.

"For the most part, you are battered and beaten. You manage to use the last ounces of your strength to haul the stolen supplies back to the cart in exchange for a hearty reward from the Lionshield Coster. Pogo went to get his faithful wolf companion, Bones, and with them and Sildar in tow, you finally make your way to Phandalin to rest,"

The characters suddenly find themselves approaching the village. It was a little before dark and as they approached town, they saw a balding human man locking the doors to what appears to be his shop.

"As you ride into town, you see the place where you are to deliver your convoy, Barthen's Provisions. You see the man himself locking up for the night,"

"Maybe we can deliver the convoy before he leaves," Sildar suggests.

"But I'm tired," Nui whined.

"You and the rest of us," Nonon sassed, "We're delivering this cargo,"

"Hello Barthen," Sildar greets from the front of the first wagon.

"Sildar! Good to see ya! Man… you all look like shit," Barthen responds.

"We had a run in with a bunch of goblins, they won't be any trouble again," Uzu said.

"But unfortunately, they've captured Gundren," Sildar added, "And had him sent elsewhere,"

"That's horrible news," Barthen sighs, "I was excited to talk about the mine of the Phandelver's Pact. He found out where it was and we were going to send a team down there,"

"What's the mine of the Phandelver's Pact?" Gamagori asked.

Ted rolled some history checks to determine what they knew. The only one who knew anything was Hoka, which only makes sense, he's by far the brains of the party.

"Alston knows, I'm sending the info to his brain now," Ted declared.

Suddenly, he knew the basic history of the mine. Apparently, he had been the only one paying any attention to Gundren when he spoke about _why_ they were delivering this cargo. Which was full of rations, lanterns, and various mining equipment.

"About five hundred years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver's Pact. Basically, they'd share the riches found in a mine in a cavern called Wave Echo Cave. In addition to great mineral wealth, the mine contained wondrous amounts of magical energy. Some human spellcasters allied with the gnomes and dwarves and were able to channel this energy into a great forge where magic items could be crafted. The mine and this village prospered until an army of orcs laid waste to everything in their path. With the backing of mercenary wizards, the orcs fought against the allies of the Phandelver's pact. The ensuing battle destroyed much of the cavern and the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost. That was until Gundren found it,"

"Thanks for the exposition," Nonon yawned.

"So perhaps the people who took Gundren, are also interested in this cave," Satsuki suggested.

"That's might be the case, but who knows in this land?" Barthen remarked, "Either way, if you can, please try to save him. You seem like a capable bunch. Anyway, here is your pay for delivering the cargo, 80 gold pieces, split amongst yourselves,"

"What about me?" Mataro whined.

"I'd be lucky to be alive if I were you," Gamagori threatened.

The party helps Barthen bring his cargo into the shop and pays the party their dues.

"Thanks again," Barthen thanked, "I notice you found some of the cargo for the Lionshield Coster. I'll loan you the cart for tomorrow so you all can take the supplies down there,"

"Thanks and before we go, do you know where the nearest inn is?" Ryuko asked.

"Oh, The Stonehill Inn? Just down the block, you can't miss it,"

"Thank you, sir," Nui thanked

"You take your leave and head over to… hold on," Ted looked over to see Mataro rummaging through the Lionshield Costar supply crates. He rolled Mataro's sleight of hand check. In total, he scored an 11.

"As you take your leave, Robin and Livi hear rummaging in the back of their cart,"

"Let me guess… Pogo?" Robin guessed.

"Indeed," Ted confirmed.

Ryuko whacked the goblin upside the head with the hilt of one of her longswords, knocking the goblin, who currently had 1 hp, unconscious. Mataro's spectral image appeared over his body.

"You didn't need to do that!" Mataro's spectral image yelled.

"Obviously I did!" Ryuko replied.

"Anyway, you head down the block and find yourselves in front the inn. It's a fairly newly built roadhouse of fieldstone and rough-hewn timbers. Above the door, you see a sign hanging from the wall that says the name of the inn,"

Everyone knew exactly what Ted meant and was able to read the sign, which had said 'The Stonehill Inn' in Common, without any trouble. Everyone except for Mako, who could only see gibberish. The sign had random numbers, letters, and some of these letter changed back and forth like some kind of glitch in the matrix.

"Ted, why does the sign look weird to me?" Mako asked.

"It's simple," Ted began, "You have an intelligence score of 7… out of 20. Your modifier for any intelligence based skill is at -2, with the exception of Arcana, but that only levels it out to 0. What I'm trying to get at is, you are illiterate,"

"I can't read!" Mako explained.

"Yep, sucks to be you, fourteen and stupid," Ted remarked.

The party walks inside the inn and into the common room. AS they walk in, the patrons of the inn, stop what they were doing and look at the large group of strangers walking in.

"The common room is filled with locals nursing mugs of ale or cider, all of eyeing you for curiosity," Ted narrated, "At the counter, there is a short young human, probably the owner of this establishment. He looks somewhat frightened by your presence,"

"Why's that?" Nui asked.

"Well, think about it. Nine people show up to a small town innhouse, one of which is an unconscious goblin. Not to mention the rarely seen dragonborn and tabaxi," Ted explained.

Satsuki walks up to the counter.

"Hello sir, do you have any rooms for the night?" Satsuki asked.

"W-why yes we do," The man answered, "We have six rooms in total though. Some of you are going to have to double up,"

"That's fine," Gamagori said, "I'll be outside with the carts anyway. You never know what might happen,"

"That's not a bad idea, especially with the Redbrands running amuck," the man said.

"Redbrands?" Ryuko asked.

The man behind the counter sighed. "Since you lot look clueless, I'm glad you aren't one of their goons. The name's Toblen Stonehill, owner of this inn. The Redbrands are a gang of ruffians that have been terrorizing this town for quite some time. They go around thieving, harassing some of the locals, and just last month, they killed the local wood carver and kidnapped his wife and children,"

"That's awful," Nui sobbed.

"Doesn't this village have a militia or something?" Nonon asked, "Can't they take care of them?"

"A militia? Not really," Toblen answered, "We have a few retired adventurers living in the area, but most of the people here are hard working tradesmen, shopkeepers and their families. Even if we did have one, they'd probably be bought off anyway. Our townmaster, Harbin Wester, has done nothing to curtail them. I'd say something about it, but I don't want my family to end up like the wood carver's,"

"We'll be on the lookout," Gamagori stated.

"Who said anything about that?" Nonon snapped.

"I did, just now. Do you want to move the story forward or do you just want to sit around and play the violin all day?" Gamagori scoffed.

Nonon saw from the corner of her eye, a grand piano in the common room dining area. She was proficient with it as well and wanted to try her hand at it.

"May I play the piano?" Nonon asked Toblen.

"Why of course," Toblen answered, "Are you any good?"

"Just watch me,"

Nonon went up to the piano. Her performance check came out to a 15 with modifiers. It was lackluster by her standards but the patrons enjoyed the music nonetheless.

"Well, if there are ruffians running around town, I'll stand watch too," Uzu suggested, "I only need to meditate for four hours to get a nice long rest and I'm sure Gred could use the help,"

"Gred?" Gamagori said.

"Consider it your nickname," Uzu said.

The two walked out of the inn and went to the carts to rest.

"How much for a room?" Satsuki asked.

"That would be one gold per room," Toblen replied.

Sildar put a single gold coin down on the counter and the innkeeper gave him his key.

"Good night everyone, it's been a long day," Sildar yawned, "I promise I will get you all that 5 gold tomorrow,"

"Can I sleep with you Ryu- I mean Robin?" Nui asked.

"I don't see why not," Robin replied.

"And while we're in there, why don't we-,"

"Awesome! Can I join too? It'll be like a sleepover!" Mako interrupted. Much to Nui's disappointment.

"Not tonight," Ryuko answered to Nui.

"I have more than enough money to afford my own room," Satsuki stated. She handed a gold piece to Toblen and received her room key as well.

"Guess that just leaves me and Lulu," Hoka said.

"What about me?" Mataro cried, "I only have five gold to my name!"

"Why don't you help Gred and Alwin watch the carts," Nui suggested.

"Yeah, and try not to steal shit this time," Ryuko warned.

"Alright, I'll go," Mataro sighed as he turned around and went to the cart.

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. Nonon made enough money in tips to cover her half of the room, the three guarding the cart encountered no problems, and Nui was a little sexually frustrated. Before everyone knew it, it was day time. The party settled down for a quick breakfast and went off to run errands in town.

"I'm going to go look for leads on these Redbrands," Gamagori stated, "With my City Watch background, I should have a decent idea of where to begin looking,"

"While you do that, I'll return the supplies to the Lionshield Coster," Satsuki replied.

"With all do respect Gredhall," Hoka started, "These ruffians aren't our responsibility. Perhaps we should go talk to this Harbin Wester fellow,"

"I was just about to go down to the Townmaster's Hall myself," Sildar said, "I wouldn't mind the company,"

So with that, Hoka, Nonon, and Sildar went to the Townmaster's Hall. Ryuko, Satsuki, and Nui took the cart down to the Lionshield Coster to collect an award. All the while, Gamagori, Mako, Uzu, and Mataro snooped around to find a lead on the Redbrands themselves.

* * *

Hoka and Nonon, along with the NPC Sildar, went down to the Townmaster's Hall. The three entered the building and were met by a secretary.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wester isn't taking any visitors right now," The receptionist waved off.

"Listen here lady, we-," Nonon started.

"That won't be necessary Lulu," Sildar stated, "Ma'am, I am a member of the Lords' Alliance, I've come here to bring law and order to the town of Phandalin anyway I can. I'm also here to find any leads on a missing companion of mine, Iarno Alberk. He went missing about two months ago,"

"I-Iarno, I don't know who you're talking about," the receptionist claimed.

"Ted," Hoka whispered, "I suspect something is off with this woman,"

"Rolling insight...17," Ted stated, "She certainly seems flustered, like she is perhaps hiding something,"

"Ma'am, I believe you have an obligation to let us see Mr. Wester," Hoka said, "It seems as though you have information that could be useful to us,"

"I told you, he's not accepting visitors," She continued.

Nonon went forth and began to tell the lady off. "Alright bitch, here's the deal. We are part of a group of adventurers who defeated the Goblins up north. Goblins that were attacking supplies that were going to this town. Give us a chance to speak with the guy or I swear to the gods I will bust this violin across your skull!"

"Rolling intimidation...18," Ted ruled.

"O-okay, no need to get violent Miss," The receptionist shuddered, "Just give Mr. Wester a moment. He is in a meeting with someone right now,"

"This early?" Hoka wondered.

Just as he said that, a man walked out of Mr. Wester's office. He was wearing heavy armor, a red cloak, and looked like one of the people that Bob had kidnapped from Assassination Classroom.

"Wait, just out of character for a bit," Hoka started, "Aren't you one of those Assassination Classroom guys that just arrived,"

"Yes," The man said in a stern voice, "The name is Karasuma, but here I'm… well you aren't supposed to know yet,"

"Sorry for the interruption, please continue walking away while ignoring us," Nonon sassed.

The man did just as she said and walked off. The three walk into the room and meet with a fat, well-to-do looking human at his desk.

"What might you three want?" The man asked, "I specifically requested no visitors,"

"My gnome friend thinks you know what happened to my human friend's associate," Nonon accused, "Does the name Iarno Albrek ring a bell?"

"Oh, straight to the point then," Mr. Wester said, "What fiesty little half-pints,"

"Answer the question," Nonon insisted.

"Lulu," Sildar interrupted, "There is no need to press so hard,"

"It's quite alright," Mr. Wester assured, "Last I've heard, he went to scout out Tresendar Manor. That was two months ago, I suspect the Redbrands got him. It's a shame, truly is,"

Hoka rolled insight again. He got a 22. "I'm not buying it," Hoka pressed, "You know more than you let on. What happened?"

"That's all I know, I swear," Mr. Wester insisted.

Lulu put her hand on her rapier. "Alston, shut the door,"

"Lulu, what are you-,"

"Do it,"

Hoka shuts the door leading to the office. Nonon then jumps onto the desk and pulls out her rapier, holding it in a threatening fashion.

"Listen here lardass. My man thinks you have some intel that you are obviously withholding. I'm may be small, but guess what, I'm a bitch! I have a lot of anger issues that I am just waiting to release on the next person that crosses me," She presses the point of the blade against his neck, just enough for him to feel the tip's sharpness, "Don't be that person,"

"Holy shit," Ted remarked, "Nat 20, you crazy bitch. You see the man tremble in his chair and you smell the scent of urine as he pisses his fucking pants!"

"Alright, I'll tell you everything!" Mr. Wester cried, "I-I've been taking bribes from the Redbrands! It's hush money because I know who their leader really is. You see, Iarno is the leader! He started the Redbrands! I figured it out and he bribed me to keep quiet! They're based out of the ruins of Tresendar Manor! Please don't hurt me!"

"Pathetic," Nonon scoffed.

"Damn," Sildar commented, "I'm impressed!"

"We got our lead boys, let's go," Nonon hopped off the desk and left the man to cry on his desk.

* * *

Over at the Lionshield Coster, Ryuko, Nui, and Satsuki just received their payment for returning the cargo, 50 gold pieces. The woman who ran the store, a human woman by the name of Linene Graywind was very thankful and offered a discount to the party in the future. As the women walked out of the shop. They could see smoke coming from the other side of town.

"We weren't even here for a day, and yet we manage to set the town on fire," Senketsu sighed in Infernal.

"Yeah, I should have expected it," Ryuko replied back in the same language.

"We have to go help them!" Nui exclaimed.

The three girls ran to the burning building as quick as they could.

* * *

 **Five minutes earlier...**

"So, where to?" Mataro asked while riding his wolf, Guts.

"I suspect that the abandoned Manor at the edge of town may be a possible hideout. But we are more likely to find leads at the nearest rundown watering hole," Gamagori explained.

"Worst case scenario, we get to stop in for a drink," Uzu smiled.

"At nine in the morning?" Gamagori asked.

"What! I don't question the degenerate sounding things you and Mako do next door, don't get onto me for day-drinking Mr. Bondage Paladin," Uzu snapped.

"Oh, by the way," Mako spoke up to Gamagori, "How about we-,"

"You were turned into a teenager," Gamagori interrupted, "It would go certainly go against my paladin oath,"

"Awwww," Mako whined.

"Ew," Mataro said.

The party of four plus a wolf and a baby cocatrice found their way in front of a rundown tavern called The Sleeping Giant. Gamagori was sure this would be a good place to check.

"Shouldn't we get the others," Mako asked.

"No need, with our increased strength, we should be able to handle a few drunken ruffians if things go south," Gamagori stated.

They walked into the messy tavern and were met piercing glares from the patrons.

"Aren't you the guys from-," Uzu started.

"Yes! We are the people that asshole just kidnapped an hour ago," A busty blonde woman said in frustration from behind the counter, "We're set pieces for your stupid nerd game. Speaking of which, what brings you people here?"

"I suspect that one of you can tell us about the Redbrands, relay this information to us, and you will walk away unharmed," Gamagori demanded.

"Yeah, like anyone would do that," Uzu scoffed.

"We can't do that," said a strong looking student from the kidnapped group, who was playing one of the ruffians, "You might as well try to fight us, if not, get lost!"

"You asked for it," Uzu taunted.

"Roll initiative!" Ted declared.

The blonde rolled the highest on initiative and went first. While she seemed like a simple barmaid, she was really some kind of magic user. She made Gamagori fail a wisdom save and suddenly found that he was stuck in his place. She was a skilled sorceress as it turns out, because she had used quickened spell to cast that hold person spell. She then threw an firebolt t at him. The fire burned with extreme intensity, dealing maximum damage to Gamagori.

"I can take your punishment evildoer! Punish me! I dare you!"

"I-is he getting turned on by this," asked another one of the Assassination Classroom ruffians, who had been eating a bowl of ramen.

"Yeah, that's his thing," answered another ruffian with a buzzcut.

"Gross," said yet another, more stoic ruffian wearing a headband.

"Spark, you're up," Ted announced.

Mako rolls over to the table where three ruffians are within range. She put her hands out and they lit on fire

"Burning Hands!" She yelled. The two closest to her were burned pretty bad while the furthest one was only partly scathed. As soon as the spell was cast, she found herself teleported next to the woman behind the counter, "Hi there,"

"How did you get there!" The woman bitched.

"How _did_ she get there," Ted repeated while winking to the viewer.

Mataro rode in on his trusty wolf and thrust his rapier into a heavily burned ruffian. The blow lands straight into his chest and through his heart, killing him.

"Damn kid!" yelled the raman eating ruffian, "You just killed Okajima! You'll pay!"

He ran up to Mako and swung his sword twice, the first one missed but he was able to land a second strike on Guts, dealing 5 out of 11 damage. The stoic, headband ruffian pulled back on his shortbow and fired at Mataro, dealing max damage. As he went in for a second attack, he rolled a 1. The string on his bow broke and it was useless. On the other side of the tavern, he big, angry ruffian went in to attack Gamagori while he was stuck. Both attacks landed and Gamagori was knocked unconscious with the final blow. The spell that was casted on him deactivated and he fell to the floor. The final ruffian, toward the counter, fired two arrows at Uzu. This brought the monk down to 5 out of 17 health.

Gamagori's spectral ghost rolled his death save. To his horror, he had rolled a 1. One more fail and he is dead.

"This ain't looking too good," Ted commented, "It's up to you Alwin,"

Uzu went up to the man who took Gamagori down and slashed him. The blade hit him in the shoulder fairly deep, but he was still in.

"Flurry of Blows!" Uzu yelled. With that, he went for a quick punch and kick. The punch knocked him in the face and hit almost as hard as the sword slash. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for the kick. He rolled a 1 and as he went to kick him, he rolled his ankle. He managed to pass the dex save to not fall prone, but his future movement was hindered.

"This is getting pretty easy," The blonde remarked. She casted Misty Step and appeared at the doorway of the tavern. Then she pulled out a crossbow and fired at Mako, dealing minimal damage.

Mako jumped from behind the counter and casted another Burning Hands. This attack hit the man directly in front of her as well as Gamagori's attacker, killing him. At this point, with two uses of burning hands used inside, the building was on fire. At least wild magic made her smell like lavender for the next six days.

"Can I send Guts to save Gama, I mean uh… the big paladin guy!" Mataro asked.

"Well, Bones is smarter than all of you," Ted noted, "I also rolled your initiative based on his dexterity modifier. I'll allow it and Guts can have his own turn in the turn order,"

"But first, I'll stab this guy," Mataro shouted. He stabbed his other attacker, piercing his lung and killing him, "Go Bones! Save him!" Guts ran over to Gamagori's body and got ready to do chest compressions.

"Alright Bones," Ted started, "You may be smarter than everyone here, but you are still a wolf. I'm giving you disadvantage on this medicine check. If you can get 10 or above, he'll be fine," Ted rolled the two dice, a 2 and a 1, "Oh boy… since you are a wolf and wolves do not know any first aid, you claw at his chest until Gredhall succumbs to his injuries,"

"Wait! I'm dead!" Gamagori shouted as his image faded from the world.

"Gamagori's dead!" Mako sobbed.

"Maybe we shouldn't have sent the dog to revive him!" Uzu shouted.

The two remaining Ruffians were up next. The burned ruffian by Mako disengaged and went toward Uzu to slash the weakened monk with his sword. Uzu was able to swiftly dodge the attack. On the other side, the stoic ruffian, with his bow broken, ran at the goblin and attacked. His string of bad luck continued as he missed the first swing and rolled another 1 on the next. This left him open for a free attack by Mataro, which he took full advantage of. He stabbed his attacker in the neck, dealing just enough damage to kill him.

"You're doing really well," Ted complemented Mataro.

"He just sent the wolf to do back-alley first aid!" Uzu stressed. As he stabbed the final ruffian in the chest.

"This may have been a victory," The blonde started, "But was it really worth it," Then she looked down at the baby cocatrice that was left outside for this whole fight, "What's with the chicken?"

"Squack!"

"Whatever," the blonde scoffed, "Burning Hands!"

She casted it at the door way, effectively sealing the survivors in the building. Uzu fails his dex save to avoid the brunt of the damage and goes down on top of Gamagori's body. The fires grew bigger and the smoke began to cloud the room. Mako ran over to stabilize Uzu while Mataro looted Gamagori's money pouch and manacles.

"Is there a way out?" Mako panicked.

"Both of you roll perception...with disadvantage due to the smoke," Ted said calmly.

The highest roll in the room was a 5. All other possible exits were obscured by smoke or covered in flames.

"Damn smoke," Mataro yelled, "We have to go through the fire!"

"But what about Alwin?" Mako asked.

"We have no other option! It's the only thing we can see!" Mataro hopped onto Guts. "Pick up the elf and let's go!"

Mako picked up Uzu and they all went through the flames. With the exception of Bones, who was on his last health point, everyone made it out relatively okay. Just as the came out of the building, the Lionshield Coster Party regrouped with them.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Ryuko screamed, "You think having Gama- I mean Gredhall with you would keep you out of trouble but no! Of course it doesn't!"

"He's dead," Mako wepted.

"What?" Nui asked.

"Gamagori's dead!" Mako cried. Some magic lady held him still and the r-ruffians hacked him to bits!"

"Good, she's not mentioning the fact I killed him," Guts said to Mataro, the only creature who could understand wolf.

"It was foolish for Gredhall to take on the Redbrands with half of the party," Satsuki remarked, "Ted, what happens to Gamagori now?"

"I don't know, new character or he's out of the session for good," Ted answered, "I'll think about it,"

"What the hell happened here?" Nonon shouted as the three others came running to them.

"Gredhall's dead," Satsuki said bluntly.

"That idiot! Charging into a crime den head on like that! What did he think was going to happen?" Nonon ranted.

"Anyway, we have leads on the whole Redbrand situation," Hoka spoke up.

"Does this look like a good time to discuss this?" Ryuko shouted, "Save it for the inn tonight!"

"I don't think you will all be welcome at the inn anymore," Sildar mentioned.

"You look around and see the citizens of Phandalin gather around the burning tavern, while they are relieved to know that a common hangout spot for the Redbrands was destroyed. They also feared you and the possible retaliation that could follow,"

"I'm sorry," Sildar apologized, "I'm afraid I can't be associated with you for the time being. I have a reputation to keep with the Lords' Alliance. We can't be associated with arsonists,"

The party took themselves back to the inn. At the inn's front door, Toblen was standing outside looking at the fire down the road.

"Come here to burn my business down too," Toblen snarked, "As much as I hate those Redbrand scum, I can't harbor you all in my inn. I'd be on their list. I have a family to look after,"

"But I spoke to Harbin Wester!" Nonon blurted.

"More like threatened," Hoka quipped.

"He said he was taking bribes from the Redbrands! We know they are hiding out of Tresendar Manor! Let us rest up for the night and we'll take care of them early in the morning," Nonon requested.

Toblen sighed. "That fat bastard. Alright, just tonight. Eliminate the Redbrands and I'll be happy to do business with you in the future… do I smell lavender?"

"And with that, the session ends right here," Ted declared.

"That wasn't long at all!" Mako complained.

"Well, we did a lot," Ted assured. He brought everyone back to the table where they started. Gamagori, who had died in the game, was sitting slumped over on the table in a pool of his own blood.

"So you die in the game, you die for real?" Mataro asked.

"Bingo, but honestly, is death really that big of a deal anymore?" Ted asked, "Same time next week?"

"Hell yeah!" Nonon cheered, "I am a force to be reckoned with!"

 **I hope you all enjoyed this eventful session of Kill la Kill D &D. What should I do with Gamagori? Should I make him reroll a character, or should I just leave him out. You decide!**


	13. The Amnesia Chapter

It was a nice quiet morning at Kiryuin Manor. A bunch of students/trained assassins had been brought to the manor and it is now at maximum capacity. Some of these students knew who the cast of Kill la Kill was since it was an anime in their universe. Right now, however, the same could not be said about the cast of Kill la Kill for they woke up and forgot everything about themselves and each other. Ryuko and Nui had woken up nude in the latter's bed.

"Who...are you?" Ryuko asked.

"I… don't know?" Nui responded, "Do you know who you are?"

"I don't," Ryuko responded, "Although since we are naked and sleeping in the same bed, I assume we're lovers,"

"Aww man," Nui whined, "I don't remember that either,"

"That's not important right now. What we need to do is find out who we are," Ryuko grabbed her phone off the night table, "This is probably one of our phones. There could be videos or contact information we can use,"

"Good idea!"

"Let's see… there's a video that was created last night,"

"Play it!"

Ryuko tapped the video and the video began to play. The two very quickly realized that the video was of them having fun last night. They should of just stopped the video, but neither of them really wanted to.

"Ah! AH! I fucking love you, Nui!" Ryuko said in the video, which was filmed from her point of view.

"I love you too, Ryuko," Nui replied in the video.

"Mmmm! Shut up! I'm almost there!"

Ryuko glanced over to see that Nui was grasping one of her breasts, breathing heavily, and silently moaning while under the blanket watching the video.

"Nui, are you doing what I think you're doing?" Ryuko asked.

Nui stopped and got all flustered. "I...I'm sorry! I just thought… we were in the video… and I thought it'd-,"

"I didn't say stop,"

* * *

"Do you know who you are?" Hoka asked Gamagori. The cast of Kill la Kill had gathered into the common areas, mostly the living room and kitchen, to discuss what was going on with this mass memory wipe.

"No," Hoka replied, "I assume you know nothing either,"

"That's right," Gamagori confirmed, "I woke up naked, with my hands and feet tied to the bedposts of some eccentric woman's bed,"

"Too much info dude," Nonon cringed.

"If you think that's bad, I woke up to my dick talking to me!" Uzu complained.

The rest of the Elite Four stared at him blankly for such an off the walls remark.

"Aye, it true," said Uzu's member, "The name's Berry McCockiner. Mind if we shake? Specifically the lass?"

"See! He just rudely introduced himself!" Uzu stressed.

The greeting given by Mr. McCockiner fell upon deaf ears. Little did Uzu know, his penis could only speak to him and him alone. Berry, however, knew this all too well and just wanted to mess with his host.

"O-kay then," Hoka cringed.

Suddenly, Bob teleported into the room. Everyone turned their head to yet another unfamiliar face. He looked confident and seemed to have had all the answers.

"Hello everyone," Bob greeted, "I know you are all wondering who you are, what you're doing here, and a shit load of other questions. Well, you have had all your memories temporarily wiped by a man named AcTheFilfthyOne. Now, I've administered the antidote and the effects should clear up soon enough, but before then, you all must do as you are all told. Understand?"

"And what if we don't?" Mataro yelled.

"Enjoy not having memories," Bob answered, "Now, is everyone here?"

"How would we know that?" Satsuki asked.

"That was more of a hypothetical question to myself Satsuki," Bob grumbled, "Oh, by the way, that's your name,"

Just then, Ryuko and Nui walk into the room fully dressed and late after catching up on their own terms.

"Good of you to make it, Nui, Ryuko," Bob smiled.

"So you know our names?" Ryuko stated.

"I do, and if you weren't so busy sexxing it up with someone thirthy seconds after relearning their name, you'd know that things will be back to normal shortly,"

"How did you know?" Nui and Ryuko gasped in unison.

"I'm nearly omnipotent. All right, Ac wants us to fulfill more tasks so let's start with...these!" Bob surprised attack Hoka and Nonon with explosive pies to the face. The impact knocked the two off their chairs and onto the floor. They were fine except for the slight ringing in their ears.

"Was that one of their tasks?" Nonon asked in a loud tone.

"Yes," Bob said softly.

"What!" The two yelled.

"Whatever," Bob sighed. He pulled a picture out of his pocket and showed it to Satsuki. It was of her final form in the upcoming Kill la Kill video game.

"Was I a stripper before all of this? And what are those things on my shoulders? They look heavy," Satsuki asked.

"Those shoulders would be my eyes, ma'am," Junketsu said.

"What the hell! You can talk!" Satsuki screamed.

"Um, I guess so,"

"Me too," Senketsu spoke up.

"Not only you're my only set of clothes, you also speak?" Ryuko asked, "Do you know anything?"

"I do not," Senketsu answered.

"Is he really your only pair of clothes?" Mako asked, "You poor thing. I'll let you borrow my clothes!"

"T-that's fine," Ryuko stammered.

"Hey Ryuko," Bob called while pulling a ball of yarn from his pocket, "Look at this ball of yarn. Doesn't it look lovely to you?"

Ryuko suddenly felt this warm feeling come over her. It was as though the ball of yarn called to her. Like they had something special. It was her soulmate.

"It's beautiful," Ryuko breathed.

"A-are you leaving me for a ball of yarn?" Nui screamed, "You saw what was on that video! It wasn't a ball of yarn getting you off!"

"Too much info, everybody!" Nonon stressed.

"Speaking of videos, you gotta make a porno with Hoka. Understood, Nonon?" Bob dared.

"Understood? I just learned this guy's name and my own and you not only want me to fuck him. You want me to film it,"

"Are we trapped in the home of some perverted politician or businessman," Hoka asked, "these requests seem to be getting more and more risque,"

"No," Bob answered, "Now go to one of your rooms and bang it out. Be sure to be decent with the camerawork we have to watch it next time. As a matter a fact, let's just get Okajima from the Assassination Classroom to do it," The couple made their way to a private room and an ecstatic man turned back into a middle schooler became very excited about his new job.

"Maybe we should get in on that porno action," Berry said to Uzu, "I'm down with a foursome anyday,"

"You are not a person," Uzu whispered to his dick.

"Uzu, I have a task for you," Bob messaged telepathically, "You see that woman, Satsuki? When the lights go off, I want you to grope her ass as hard as possible, got it?"

"Oh! He's got this alright," Berry smiled, "That bitch has a nice ass too,"

Suddenly the lights turned on and he went straight for her butt. Apparently, he had the ability to move around in darkness like he could see everything. It was as though he was some kind of blind samurai in a past life or something. He gave Satsuki's ass a good squeeze and it simply felt amazing. He then quickly retreated to his seat. Just then the lights turned on.

"Who pinched my butt?" Satsuki asked.

"Yeah, that's the next dare by the way," Bob announced.

"Was it you?" She asked Mataro.

"Is it because of this morning?" Mataro asked sheepishly, "I only peep on women in the bath, I swear!"

Uzu sighed a breath of relief as Mataro took the fall for his indecency.

"Alright Gamagori," Bob started, "By the way, that's you big guy. Anyway, we are going to keep shocking your balls until you can't take it anymore,"

"You can't be-," Gamagori started, but he was interrupted by a painful, yet pleasurable shock.

"Okay, we are saving the last dare from Ac for later, but for now let's move onto Gabe2000," Bob announced, "Apparently he has the appearance of an eighteen year old but gods don't age. Seriously, give a guy a cameo as a booming voice and he'll run with it till the day he dies. Anyway, he wants Mataro, the kid, to become twenty-one,"

And with that, Mataro grew nine years older, becoming a thin, young man. Mataro was pleased. Just as that happened, Nonon and Hoka were taking a break from their sex tape and walked into the room wearing robes.

"Good," Bob stated, "We need to figure out who has the most suppressed gag reflex out of all the girls,"

"Apparently I start to gag at around five inches," Nonon claimed.

"And that isn't too much info?" Nui asked.

"You're all going to see it eventually anyway, what's the point of modesty?"

"To test, I have given you all an extra long cucumber. The one who can shove it the furthest down her mouth is the winner,"

The women of Kill la Kill tried their hardest to shove their cucumber's down their throats but could only get so far. However, Mako had unknowingly had plenty of practice with Gamagori and was able to shove eight inches down her throat with ease. Everyone, man and woman, was stunned.

"I think I know who you should pair yourself up with for the next dare," Bob suggested, "By the way, that is for every woman to give every guy a handjob or a blow job," He pointed to Isshin and Rei, "You and you will be paired together because you have a date to go on later on. Ms. Deepthroat, you pair up with the big man. Everyone else pretty much has free pickings,"

"Aw yeah motherfucker!" Berry exclaimed, "Let's get dat ass to suck me off!"

Uzu sighed and and reluctantly went to Satsuki. Not because he didn't want a blowjob, but because he kinda felt bad about the groping and his dick was really annoying.

"Uh...I'm sorry...Satsuki, was it?" Uzu stammered.

"Yeah," Satsuki answered, "I know what your about to ask,"

"Well, he said we have to. I just thought you looked...pretty, you know,"

Satsuki blushed but was trying to maintain a sense of composure for reasons unknown to her. "Well, I suppose. If we have to. Follow me,"

Okajima led the two amateur pornstars-to-be back into their room to finish up the porno. Mako and Gamagori went back to their room to do the deed. By the end of this, it left Nui and Ryuko to choose between Aikuro and the adult Matero.

"Who should I pick?" Nui asked, "I don't really like the idea of giving a blowjob. What do you think Ryuko?"

Ryuko was passionately looking at the ball of yarn. "I'm sorry, what?"

Nui sighed, "I guess I'll take the kid who was transformed into an adult. It's weird, but the other guy's been naked this entire time,"

* * *

"That was incredible," Gamagori praised.

"Thanks," Mako blushed.

"Really between you and the shocks, that was the most mind-blowing thing I've experienced… at least that I can remember,"

"Welcome back everyone," Bob greeted, "I hope you all enjoyed yourselves,"

"Sir," Mitsuzo spoke up, "Why is everyone naked, but myself?"

"Because I made it to where you can't see clothing anymore," Bob answered, "Anyway, that's the end of the dares that don't really need memories so let me just reverse everyone's amnesia," Bob snapped his fingers and everyone's memory came back to them. Nui had her memories restored to when she first had them blanked, but she still remembered what had just happened. Her eyes widened in disgust as she ran to the nearest bathroom for mouthwash.

"We couldn't have amnesia the entire session," Bob commented, "That would get old to fast and all anyone could say with the truths is 'I don't know'. Anyway, our next dares come from CrazyMetamorph9573. How comfortable are you with Nui, Isshin?"

"The sock puppet or my daughter's unlikely girlfriend?" Isshin asked.

"The latter, but your dare is to torture the former," Bob dared, "I know Nui's pet Sylveon loves playing with socks,"

"Okay, I guess the kid can go grab the sock and give it to the cat...thing. But, as for the new Nui, Still not sure about it,"

Nui came back to the living room after a thorough cleansing of her mouth.

"Hey Nui," Bob greeted, "Guessing last dare wasn't great, huh?"

"What do you think? I sucked off my step-brother!" Nui ranted.

"Woah! Save it for PornHub girl," Bob snarked, "But I just wanted to ask, Since you have made your life much better since you lost your memories, do you think you'd go back to your old ways if you ever got them back?"

Nui sighed. "Honestly, I think so. You see, that horrible day in Jamaica, when I killed my former self while she had stolen my sister's body; I felt a sickening sense of joy. Even though she wasn't really my sister at that point, I still cut her in half and felt… amazing. If I had all my memories back, I'm afraid that I would no longer feel guilt when doing such things and would fall back into my old ways, murdering people as I pleased while giggling like a schoolgirl,"

"This is why yarn is a much better lover," Ryuko stated.

"Are you still in love with that damn ball of yarn?" Nui shouted.

"By the way, you can have your eye back as soon as Isshin truly forgives you," Bob stated.

"How can I forgive someone for murder?" Isshin disagreed.

"Uh… turn the other cheek?" Bob hesitated, "Honestly, I ain't the guy to ask about that kind of stuff. Moving onto Satsuki, who has to go take care of her baby mother so Rei can have a break from parenthood,"

"Oh no! The baby!" Rei panicked as she had just remembered she had to care of her and ran off to get her.

"Any bronies here?" Bob asked, "Anyone at all...no...good. Next question, who is your least favorite reviewer?"

"Ac!" Everyone answered unanimously.

"Most favorite?" Bob continued.

"I like CrazyMetamorph," Nui beamed as she hugged her Sylveon, "He gave me Cuddles and he seems nice… sometimes… for a reviewer at least,"

"I like NuclearCracker," Uzu said, "Simply because his dares aren't as extreme as everyone else's,"

"He also gave me an extra two inches!" Berry shouted, "I grow with power!"

"Ryuko, sing Barney's 'I love you, you love me' song and sing with some goddamn feeling!" Bob demanded.

"Ugh! I fucking hate you!" Ryuko muttered, then she began to sing, "I love you, you love me. We're a happy family with a great, big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too?"

Then the music began to pick up. "Alright everyone!" Bob announced, "All together!"

"I love you, you love me," The cast began to sing, "We're best friends like friends should be. With a great, big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too?"

"That was awful," Ryuko sighed, "At least I still have you yarn,"

"Stop it!" Nui screamed. She couldn't believe she was jealous of a ball of yarn. Of all the things to be jealous of.

"Ryuko, Mataro, switch bodies!" Bob declared.

"Alright!" Mataro cheered from Ryuko's body.

"Don't do anything perverted you sick fuck," Ryuko warned from Mataro's body.

"Music Baby, you here?" Bob called.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Nonon screamed.

"Come over here,"

"Fine," Nonon sighed.

Bob then went around her and gave the girl an atomic wedgie. The panties themselves couldn't handle the stretching and snapped off.

"Ow! What the hell!" Nonon screamed.

"Now Mako has to change your diaper," Bob dared.

"What diap-," Nonon started. Before she completed the sentence, she was wearing one, "Of course… Can't I just live in D&D world? People seem to fear me there,"

"Time for your diaper change," Mako cooed.

"Stop acting cutesy! We all saw how much you can take in the mouth! Don't try to hide it!" Nonon nagged.

"Someone's cranky," Mako continued as she laid Nonon down on a blanket.

"Is she messing with me or is she just this stupid?" Nonon asked, "Gamagori, what do you think?"

"I don't think she's malicious with her teasing," Gamagori stated, "But even I'm not entirely sure,"

"How could you not be sure!?" Nonon screamed as Mako was wiping her.

"Honestly, its that playful, happy-go-lucky vibe that I'm attracted to," Gamagori admitted.

"Aww, thank you!" Mako purred.

"Are you both really having a romantic moment while changing my diaper!? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"You like pee," Gamagori brought up.

"And what about you!?" Nonon retorted as Mako finished up.

"I may be a depraved masochist, but I don't mess with human waste,"

"Goddamnit! I'll say it once and I'll say it again! I like nipple stimulation!"

"All done," Mako said, "Feel better?"

"Shut up,"

"The last set of dares are from NuclearCraker and he doesn't have too many," Bob announced, "Although he wants to be rid of Nui Prime immediately," Bob snapped his fingers and the sock that the Sylveon was chewing on dissipated into tiny life-fibers and flew away. Mataro was deeply saddened by the loss of his masterbation toy.

"We already gave Uzu a slightly bigger dick," Bob said as he flipped through the notecards, "Oh yeah, how is everyone's relationships?"

"Me and yarn are going steady," Ryuko commented. Bob sighed and snapped his fingers, causing Ryuko to fall out of love with the inanimate object. She tossed the ball over to Cuddles the Sylveon and she started to roll it around.

"Thank you!" Nui yelled.

"That was weirder than the concept of dating Nui," Ryuko remarked, "But damn, I've been happy with her so far,"

"Along with my family, Ryuko has been one of the people I cherish most. Despite everything my former self has done to her and everyone else, she has somehow managed to forgive me. I am forever grateful," Nui expressed.

"What about Nonon and Hoka?" Bob asked.

"She's way kinkier than I expected," Hoka quipped.

"Whatever, you're no puritan yourself!" Nonon argued.

"But it is nice to have always have someone to argue back and forth with," Hoka added.

"That's called marriage, Hayyoo!" Bob commented.

"Is it that hard to simply say I love you?" Nonon asked.

"Oh come now, you love this dynamic too," Hoka teased.

"Gamagori and Mako?" Bob continued.

"So far so good," Gamagori answered.

"Wanna get married?" Mako asked.

"W-what? That is too much!" Gamagori panicked.

"Uzu and Satsuki?" Bob continued.

"Wait… are we in a relationship?" Uzu asked.

"I… think," Satsuki answered, "I'm still pretty new to intimacy,"

"Senketsu and Junketsu," Bob started, "I don't know how long this will last, but be human,"

The two kamuis were forced off of their wearers and transformed into naked twenty year old men.

"You shall become the best of bros," Bob declared.

"Being human… again," Senketsu said to himself, "Hopefully it's not ruined like it was in Jamaica,"

"Mako, I'll take you up on that clothes offer now," Ryuko said.

"NuclearCracker also managed to figure out how to reverse Ragyo's baby transformation," Bob stated, "Although she still won't have memoires," Bob snapped his fingers and the bottle that Rei was feeding her with a special life-fiber infused, memory wiping chocolate. The baby fell asleep once she had enough and she grew to adult size in Rei's arms.

"I'll just reverse any severe effects real fast and I'll let you go," Bob announced.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Ryuko asked.

"Yeah, you are all free," Bob declared, "My game of Truth or Dare is over. All that I ask is for Isshin to go on a date with Rei and for the rest of you to chill. Other than that, I'm done,"

The entire cast cheered and ran out of the manor gate like crazy shoppers on Black Friday. As they left, Ted appeared.

"They are going to be so pissed when they find out your lying," Ted mentioned.

"I know," Bob acknowledged.

* * *

Rei and Isshin did went on that date Bob dared them to go on. They weren't the most enthusiastic about it however. Rei had known Isshin since she was rescued from execution at the age of eight and Isshin was a few months shy of thirty at the time. Even though he was now younger than her, he felt as though he was going out with a kid. This got even weirder considering the blowjob dare from earlier.

"So… you look… nice this evening," Isshin awkwardly complimented.

"Thanks…," Rei replied.

An awkward silence that lasted for a few seconds seemed to have lasted an eternity.

"About earlier…," Isshin started.

"We didn't know who we were," Rei interrupted, "We saw each other as attractive twenty somethings. Don't worry,"

"Speaking of age, don't you have a birthday in a few weeks?" Isshin asked.

Rei sighed. She realized she was going to turn thirty soon and that has begun to bother her. "Yes...wait you remembered? Even after we turned against you and tried to kill you?"

"You didn't turn against me, I betrayed you all," Isshin corrected, "That's how it was and of course I did. I don't know if it's fatherly intuition or what have you, but I still see you as a little girl walking around REVOCS with a pretty cool pair of aviators. You still have them, don't you?"

"Yeah, but why would you care about them. They were Ragyo's,"

Isshin chuckled. "I know ever since I've been revived I've been bitching about Ragyo like a bitter ex in a divorce, but she had a decent taste in fashion. At least until the mid-90's, at that point the 80's was long dead and she should have known that. But aviators are still cool,"

"How's it feel to be alive again?" Rei asked.

"Other than the occasional game we had to play, it was great. I'm so glad I get to leave manor now. I don't know how you managed to hide in the walls for two months,"

"It's easier than it sounds,"

"Only thing bugging me now is Nui,"

"It's understandable," Rei agreed, "But I've known Nui Harime all her life and that is not Nui Harime. I don't know why she just doesn't take the Mankanshoku name at this point,"

"Your right, I guess I should let my feelings get in the way. Especially if Ryuko is dating her and fairly seriously I might add,"

"Your going to forgive her then? That easy?"

"Maybe it's the wine, but sure. I'm sure they'd both appreciate it,"

* * *

Ryuko, Satsuki, Mako, Nui, and the Elite Four went out to have a day of fun. They spent most of the day at an amusement park, riding all the rides and winning all the games (Mostly due to Hoka's ability to find the best solution) once nighttime started to roll around, the group went to karaoke. They sung their hearts out. Nonon picked Barney the Dinosaur songs for Ryuko to sing, much to Ryuko's disapproval. Eventually, at about 10:30 pm, the group parted ways.

* * *

Nui and Ryuko decided to spend the night in a hotel. Even after a day of running around and drinking, they still had enough energy to play once they got up to the room. As the two were showering together after a long day, Nui's eye patch fell off and revealed her other eye.

"Oh my God!" Nui exclaimed, "I have my other eye! I have depth perception!"

Ryuko hugged her girlfriend. "That's great! I guess dad's stopped being mad at you,"

"Time to throw this thing away," Nui said as she broke the hug and went to pick up her old eyepatch.

"Wait! Maybe keep it," Ryuko suggested.

"Why?"

"Well, I've grown accustomed to seeing one eye look up at me instead of two," Ryuko hinted.

Nui giggled. "Ryuko, you kinky girl,"

"Says the woman who began touching herself, five minutes after we woke up with amnesia," Ryuko retorted, "I think you are more perverted than me to be honest,"

Nui slapped her eyepatch back on. "You're correct," she said seductively, "Are we ready to dirty ourselves up again?"

* * *

Mako invited Gamagori back to her family home once the festivities were over. When the couple made it back, they found a few croquettes in the fridge for them and a note on a bulletin board telling them that the family had left town for the day, to remember to feed Cuddles, and told them to have fun. Off to the side of the note, there was a condom with a tac stuck through the center.

"We got the house to ourselves, Ira," Mako beamed as she took the condom, "Let's go,"

"Wait, we can't use that," Gamagori spoke up, "There's a hole in there now,"

"Oh," Mako sighed.

"Considering your parents' backgrounds, they should know that you can't do this to a condom. Do you think it was on purpose?"

"I don't know, but what are we going to do now?"

Gamagori sighed, but then he smiled. It's hard to keep up with Mako's vapid mind, but it was all fun to him.

"How about we just warm up your mother's cooking and watch a movie?" Gamagori suggested, "We don't need to have sex everyday,"

"Alright! Let's see what's on Netflix!" Mako exclaimed.

* * *

Uzu and Satsuki had decided to go out drinking some more before the bars closed. The last few months of Truth or Dare has gotten most of the cast to have a newfound love for alcohol and these two were no exception.

"You know," Satsuki slurred, "Booze is good and all, but… once I get back home… I'm going to make an underground pot farm,"

Uzu laughed drunkenly. "I never would have thought you'd be a stoner, Satsuki. What's next? Spiking your tea with THC extract?"

"... That's not a bad idea,"

"Oh my god! You are crazy!"

"I...I mean, why not?"

"I'm not against it, you just always had that… evil dictator vibe going on. This is a complete 180 for you,"

"Yeah, I get what you're sayin'," Satsuki agreed, "I...I still sometimes think I'm better than people, but when I smoke, I don't think it matters anymore,"

"You are wise beyond your years,"

"Wanna go back to my place?" Satsuki asked.

"If I were you, I'd tear that place down. Why do you want to go back so soon?"

Satsuki hugged Uzu's arm. "It's closer,"

"Are we ever going to do it without our heads messed up in some way?" Uzu asked.

"Maybe,"

* * *

Last but not least, is Hoka and Nonon. They went to a hotel, not unlike Ryuko and Nui, but Nonon was too tired after today and fell asleep almost as soon as they arrived. Hoka smiled and covered her up, deciding to call it a night as well.

Nonon dreamed of being in a hospital again. Her belly was swollen and she was worried. The belly began to wiggle and shake. Nonon couldn't stop it no matter how hard she tried. Instead of delivery, a grotesque creature popped out of her stomach and laughed maniacally. Nonon woke up screaming, which also woke up Hoka. It was 11:50pm.

"Another nightmare?" Hoka yawned.

"Yeah… and silly question, but do you happen to have data on when I'm ovulating?"

"Wha-wha… I… I do," Hoka admitted, "How'd you guess, are you mad?"

"No, I know how you love data collection," Nonon forgave, "Can you check that data just to be sure?"

"Alright," Hoka tapped through his phone and found the files related to Nonon's menstrual cycle, "Shit,"

"It's what I think, isn't it?"

"We need to get some Plan B, now!"

The two got dressed and began to run to the nearest store that sold the pill they were looking for.

"I told you we should have ended with a facial!" Nonon ranted as they were running.

"The director insisted otherwise!" Hoka defended.

"The director was a goddamn middle schooler!"

"I think they are all really twenty or something!"

"Oh and the lolis that Shiro faps to are legal because they are nine hundred-year-old dragon girls!" Nonon shouted sarcastically, "I guess that means they are MILFs!

"Wouldn't that make the GILFs?!"

"I don't know! This isn't important right now!

The two made it to the store and they speed walked to the aisle with the pill. It was currently 11:59pm.

"You brought it up," Hoka reminded.

"Look, I can't help being a smartass bitch, just about as much as you can't help it," Nonon argued, "Now where is it? It's there!"

Nonon ran to reach the emergency contraceptive, but just before she was able to touch it, she found herself in the living room of Kiryuin Manor, along with everyone else.

"No…," Nonon muttered, "It can't be,"

"APRIL FOOLS!" Bob cheered.

"It's the middle of June!" Ryuko yelled while covered up on the floor with Nui.

"Not for me," Bob said, "I hope you enjoyed your taste of freedom. It's the only one you'll get. Dares will set you free,"

"Was that inspired by the Auschwitz?" Satsuki asked, who was still drunk, but after three years of Honnoji Academy, she had learned just about everything there was to know about the Nazis. As a matter a fact, that was about half of all history classes.

"...Maybe…," Bob answered.

"That's fucked up," Ted added.

"No one cares Ted," Bob retorted, "No one cares,"

"You make me ashamed to be myself," Ted sighed, "Anyway, D&D's still on for Friday, don't forget. Gamagori, you can reroll,"

"Well, I guess that's the silver lining," Satsuki mumbled.

"Hell yeah!" Shouted Uzu's crotch, "I'm back!"

 **Ted here. Sorry this took longer than usual. I was busy with work and I just started a new Truth or Dare with Assassination Classroom. (BTW, thanks for the suggestion Ac) I'll try to update in a cycle of Kill la Kill ToD, Assassination Classroom ToD, Kill la Kill D &D, then repeat. We'll see how that goes.**

 **Ac, I have a list of undone dares that you submitted. I'll try to fill those in where I can.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed.**


	14. Attack on Tresendar Manor

It was a nice, quiet night at Kiryuin Manor. It was D&D night once more. The players were eager to play and avenge their fallen paladin comrade. Mataro, who had originally been against playing, was among the most excited. He got to fight alongside everyone else and he gets to do whatever he wants. Nonon was happy to start the game because something had to take her mind off of the possibility of pregnancy. Gamagori returned to the table. His character sheet was hidden as his reveal is going to be a surprise.

"Welcome back players," Ted greeted, "Are you all ready to take the fight to the Redbrands?"

"Hell yeah," Ryuko exclaimed, "We have this in the bag!"

"We barely managed to kill off some goblins," Hoka reminded.

"Ready when you are," Nonon stated.

"Last session, you all got to town and completed your caravan job. While you were in town, you spoke with the innkeeper and informed you about the Redbrand ruffians terrorizing the town. The next day, you split up. Robin, Livi, and Leena went to drop off the wagons and received their pay, which everyone should have at this point. Alston and Lulu went along with Sildar to question the townmaster, Harbin Wester about the Redbrands and Sildar's lost guild member. There, Lulu intimidated Mr. Wester into spilling the beans about his involvement with the Redbrands, his bribes, and the lost guild member's connection to the Redbrands. Meanwhile, the rest of you took it upon yourselves to follow hunch Gredhall had, which cost him his life and the party's chances at an easy time in the town of Phandalin. The only way to redeem yourselves, according to Toblen, is to take the Redbrands down once and for all,"

Ted opened the vortex, everyone was sucked in and the players all woke up in their rooms, ready to start a new day. The party met up in the common area, had breakfast and went off to the ruined manor overlooking the town.

"You reach the ruined manor and everything seems to be pretty standard as far as old dilapidated mansions go. Collapsed roof, broken windows, no doors, it's a shithole folks," Ted's spectral image described.

"There has to be a secret entrance," Satsuki mentioned.

"Well, no time to waste," Ryuko cautioned, "Let's start looking,"

Ted rolled everyone investigation checks. Hoka, Mataro, and Satsuki notice that there isn't any foot traffic in the manor at all. They look outside to see a path in the grass that had been stomped out from overuse.

"Over here guys!" Mataro called from atop his pet wolf, "There's a faint trail over here!"

"You follow the path behind the hill and notice a false patch of ground. Upon opening the cover, you stumble upon a tunnel with a stone door at the end," Ted narrated.

"Who's going in first?" Uzu asked.

"Why not you?" Nonon barked.

"Because we don't know what's beyond that door. It could be a trap," Uzu theorized.

"I'll do it," Mataro stepped up as he jumped off his trusty wolf companion, "I'm small and sneaky,"

"Be careful Livi," Her Faerie Dragon warned in a sweet and somewhat familiar voice.

"Wait, aren't you that computer box from that class?" Nui asked in Draconic.

"Yes, Ted is making me play as a little dragon for some reason. I don't know if I should root for you or my classmates,"

"There's more of you?" Nui asked.

"Hey! No metagaming Ritsu!" Ted shouted.

"Sorry,"

Mataro approaches the door as stealthily as possible. He entered the room, closed the door behind him and was doing well so far until he stubbed his toe and let out a quick yelp. He had rolled a 1. He covered his mouth, hoping no one heard.

The room he had entered had stairs leading down to a small fountain. Some crates and barrels lined the walls. On the right side of the fountain, there was a door. A few seconds passed and Mataro thought he was in the clear, as he turned around to let his party know the coast was clear. A short, blue-haired man with subtle pigtails jumped out of nowhere and shot him in the back with an arrow. With a combination of sneak attack damage and a subclass ability that allowed critical hits and advantage on unsuspecting foes, Mataro was knocked out instantly.

"Nice shot Nagisa," complimented a green-haired halfling woman with similar pigtails.

"Thanks," Nagisa replied, "But remember Kayano, in this world, I'm Cedric, you're Calara, and Karma is Misery,"

"Isn't Misery a weird name?" Kayano asked.

"Sure, but isn't Karma weird as well?" asked a man with dark red skin, light red hair, and small devil horns protruding from his forehead, "Anyway, back into character, what do you want to do with this goblin, Nagi- I mean Cedric?"

"Take him to the bugbears," Nagisa dismissed. He then turned his attention to Kayano, "Calara, my love, can I trust you to infiltrate the rest of that goblin's party?"

"I have a sliver of Cthulhu's immense power," Kayano responded, "Even with that little, I will prevail," With a wave of her hands, Kayano cast Disguise Self and became a perfect copy of Pogo.

"I'll never understand why you decided to make a pact with such a being," Nagisa said.

"You can't deny that it's helped in the past," Karma chimed in, removing the necessary gear from the real goblin and giving it to Kayano, "Give 'em hell,"

The two men took their leave through a secret passage to the left of the fountain. Kayano quickly closed it and headed over to let the party in. Over by Ted's spectral image, who had been watching this entire scene play forth, the spectral image of a yellow octopus creature in a teacher's robe was giggling to himself.

"Took you long enough," Ryuko complained, "So is the coast clear,"

"Yeah, it's good," Kayano answered. The party failed their insight checks against Kayano's high deception score. She blended in just fine. Not even Guts noticed and Ted gave him advantage, "I looked into the room by the fountain, there's nothing,"

"You probably stole whatever was in there," Nonon accused, "But whatever, let's go,"

The party walked through the door and made a right into another door. To their left, there was a long hallway that led to a set of double doors.

"Alright, I bet that there is something behind these doors," Ryuko guessed. She took a step forward and as soon as she did, the floor crumbles away beneath her. In the nick of time, she manages to jump ahead and grab the ledge on the other side. She pulls herself up, pissed off that she almost fell into a twenty foot deep pit.

"Things like walking down a simple hallway are just to easy," Uzu remarked, "Think I can jump it?"

"Why would you try?" Satsuki asked.

"Cuz' he's feelin' dangerous!" Yelled Uzu's sentient penis, Mr. Berry McCockinner. Though no one could hear it.

"You notice a ledge you can shimmy across on," Ted mentioned.

"Nah, I got this," Uzu takes a running start and clears the pit with ease.

"Show off," Ryuko remarked.

The rest of the party shimmied along the side of the pit with ease. When they all made it across, the party opened the door. Kayano made sure to stay at the back of the party whenever possible. In the room, there were three coffins. Two to the wall in front of them and one to the wall beside them. Ryuko, Uzu, Satsuki, and Nui were the first four to step in. They noticed two doors, one past the coffin on their wall and the other on the opposite corner. The rest of the party step in moments later. By that time, the first half of the party decided to move on. As Ryuko begins to open the door to the right. The lids on the coffins burst open, revealing zombies in each of them.

"Roll initiative!" Korosensei declared.

"What's the octopus doing here?" Uzu asked.

"Uh… he's a co-DM," Ted lied.

"Do I smell lavender?" Korosensei asked, "It smells lovely,"

"That's me!" Mako beamed, "Thank you!"

"Robin goes first," Korosensei called.

"Just zombies, three against eight," Ryuko mocked, "I don't even need to rage. Let me slash away at this guy!" Ryuko swings her blades into the zombie's chest, dealing some damage, but the zombie seemed unfazed.

Satsuki was at the other door and as the zombie rose from the dead, she turned around to slash it. Just like Ryuko's hits, it was damaged, but at the same time these undead were surprisingly sturdy. As Ryuko was distracted by the zombie in front of her, she didn't notice the door swinging open. It knocked her down and away from her target. Behind the door were three ruffians, played by more students from Class 3-E.

While she was down, the silver-haired ruffian who had opened the door fired a crossbow bolt at Ryuko. The arrow hit her in the hip, dealing maximum damage. Two other ruffians peeked from both sides of the doorway and fired their bows. One of which managed to land a hit on Satsuki's arm.

"Hehehehe," Korosensei laughed to himself, "Good job students!"

"Who's side are you one?" Nonon complained.

"As a co-DM, technically no one's, but I can't help but be biased toward my students. Now for Spark's turn,"

Mako moved over in front of the only undamaged zombie and fired a firebolt. Mako's bracelet also amplified her cantrips, but with this bonus ran the fifty percent chance of a magic surge; which she had just activated. As she threw the bolt of fire at the zombie, she felt as though she had some regenerative properties for a short time.

"Alston, it's up to you," Ted announced.

"Even with the surprise attack, it'd be wasteful to use one of my spells," Hoka commented as he threw a powerful firebolt at the zombie Mako just attacked. At this point, the zombie was on its last limbs.

"Alwin, beat 'em up," Korosensei called.

Uzu slashed the zombie that Satsuki attacked with his shortsword, cutting off the undead's arm. He decided it'd be best to save his ki for an emergency and didn't unleash a flurry of blows. Next it was Nui's turn. She took out her dagger and stabbed the zombie by the ruffian's door in the head. She had rolled a Nat 20 with max damage and the zombie went down. As Kyano's turn began, Nui could feel the pleasurable sensation of bloodlust run through her. It was a feeling she had tried to forget, but the desire to murder was hiding deep inside her.

The two remaining zombies went to bite at their targets, but with their attacks being slow and predictable. Satsuki and Hoka managed to dodge them. Kayano, not wanting to be found out, moved past Nui and fired her shortbow at the burnt up zombie. It wasn't the greatest shot, but she was able to knock the zombie down. Guts ran past the party in the back and went to bite at the final zombie, but somehow missed. Nonon jumped into the upper half of the coffin and stabbed the monster with her rapier.

"Top of the turn order," Korosensei announced, "Robin, with three of the Redbrand ruffians waiting for you at the door, what to you do?"

"Let's do this Senketsu!" Ryuko said as she transformed into her rage form. Kayano was trying to hold back the obvious jealousy she felt toward Ryuko's busty chest, but she managed.

Ryuko jumped up and jammed her two blades into the white-haired ruffian's stomach.

"Oh god!" He screamed in agony, "I thought this was just a game! I feel pain! Kimura! Mimura! Korosensei! Help!"

"No one's coming," Ryuko taunted as she pulled the blades out of his stomach from the sides, cutting him in half. She looked toward Korosensei's spectral image, "I thought this was a classroom of trained assassins. Looks like you were an easy target,"

While Korosensei was angered that one of his own students died in the game. His face showed his smug, green striped expression.

Satsuki was up next and she used her turn to decapitate the zombie she was fighting. Eliminating any chance for coming back. The ruffians, after seeing their companion die brutally, drop their weapons and surrender.

"I'm glad you came to your sense," Ryuko remarked as she went out of rage and pushed the ruffians aside. The ruffians in this room had been guards for some prisoners. In the cell on the left, a woman and two children, a boy and a girl were huddled in the corner and scarred. On the right, was a familiar player. Gamagori, who was now a goliath, was trapped behind the cell bars. The rest of the party made their way over to the cells.

"Oh my God!" Mako cried, "Ira! You're back!"

"Yes I am… and you smell lovely," Gamagori complimented, "Anyway, my name's Crag. I'm a ranger. I was tracking down the Redbrands myself, but after being outnumbered, they captured me. Let me free and I shall help you once I find my equipment.

Kayano didn't want to make this job any harder than it had to be. She knew this would be risky, but it had to be done. She said some arcane sounding gobbledygook, activating the Suggestion spell.

"I think it'd be best for you to stay in the cell until it's all clear," Kayano suggested as Mataro, "What if we don't find your gear, then you're just a meat shield,"

"Pogo!" Mako nagged.

"He's right," Gamagori spoke up. He had failed the spell's wisdom save and was affected by it, "I have faith that you'll see it through. Just be sure to come back for us,"

"What was that?" Hoka asked, knowing it to sound familiar to magical chants.

"Uh...Goblin," Kayano responded.

Unfortunately for the party, Hoka failed the insight check and took the lie at face value. Mako could have warned them it wasn't goblin, but she wasn't paying attention when the boy caught her attention from the other cell.

"And… brave warriors," The boy, who wasn't much older than ten, muttered from the other cell, "Do be careful, I've heard of very dangerous people in this place, worse than the Redbrands,"

Kayano maintained her composure as she knew he was talking about her and her friends.

"Who are they, little boy?" Mako asked.

"There are three of them, one is a strong, devilish fighter," The mother spoke up, "The other is a flat-chested halfling girl using some kind of magic," At this point, Kayano wanted to straight up punch the woman, but she knew she couldn't or risk breaking her over, "And the last one… some have called him the Blue Streak of Death, even the ruffians shiver in their boots when speaking of him,"

"Thank you ma'am," Satsuki thanked, "We'll tie up these bandits and continue on. We will come back,"

The party tied the two ruffians together so that they would not escape and headed forward into the dungeon. Kayano was the last one to leave and before she did, she renewed her disguise. Alerting to the tied up ruffians that she was on their side.

The party continued on. They went to the other door and came across a narrow hall with a door to the right. They go through and find a small armory.

"If you want an upgrade, you ain't going to find anything here," Ted remarked, "There is nothing special about these weapons,"

"Is there a rapier?" Nui asked. Who has decided that maybe a dagger wasn't the best weapon to wield with her shield.

"Of course," Ted said and pointed to the one rapier on the table. The way Nui admired the weapon seemed abnormal to Ryuko, to say the least.

"So, what now," Uzu asked, "There is nothing else here. It's a dead end,"

"Welp, guess it's time to be hitting the ol' dusty trail," Kayano pretended to yawn.

"Wait, what if there's a secret door?" Hoka suggested.

"Oh yeah… those are possible," Kayano reluctantly agreed.

Hoka began knocking on the opposite wall until he felt a hollow section of the wall. He and Uzu pushed the wall inward and it shifted out of the way, revealing a store room and to the left, the beginnings of a cavern.

"As you walk into the store room, you see two grotesque one-eyed creatures," Korosensei narrated, "They seem to be speaking amongst themselves in some strange elven dialect so far removed, it's incomprehensible. The two beings occasionally cackle madly to themselves.

"Would I know such a creature?" Hoka asked.

"Go ahead and roll an arcana check,"

Hoka rolled his dice and, in total, got a 19.

"Alston, you know these creature are Nothics," Korosensei began to explain, "You've heard about these creatures through old wives tales about how one mustn't devote their entire lives to magic or risk turning into one. In school, you learn these are wizards who have learned magical secrets that they simply couldn't fathom and they transform into one as a result. They are gifted with strange and sometimes fourth wall breaking insight,"

"They look dangerous," Kayano muttered, knowing exactly the types of loose cannons those two are.

"Well, stay back and shoot arrows from the shadows," Nonon suggested, "You are a rouge, aren't you not?"

"Of course I'm a rouge. A sneaky, sneaky rouge!"

"Everyone arm yourselves," Satsuki commanded, "This is about to get ugly,"

The party, minus Kayano and Bones, step forward ready to attack these creatures head on. However, instead of the creatures attacking. They introduce themselves.

"Ah, look at these ones brother," Said the notic with the green-eye Nothic in a creepy, gravely voice.

"Yeesss, I see brother," hissed the red-eyed Nothic in a similar tone of voice, "Are they friend or are they food?"

"Don't know brother. Introduce yourselves, please,"

"Our names aren't important," Satsuki commanded, "We are here to root out the Redbrand menace. Step aside or we'll have no choice but to retaliate,"

"These people sound like food," hissed the red-eyed Nothic.

"If they won't tell us about themselves, how about we do it for them," suggested the green-eyed Nothic.

The Nothics' eyes' looked as though they were staring into the cosmos. They eventually stopped and went up to everyone and revealed their secrets.

"This one," the green-eyed Nothic started, pointing to Nui, "This one seems like a nice little cleric, but in that heart of her's is one of a killer,"

"Aw yes, a killer who takes immense joy in her deeds," the red-eyed Nothic added, "I bet she can't wait to stab at fresh flesh. And what about this one brother?" He said pointing to Uzu.

"He has a friend from below,"

"Aw, sounds like a dick,"

"You know it motherfuckers!" Berry yelled, "Crotchville represent!"

"And you helped compromise the protection," they said to Mako, "Very bad,"

"Ha, I don't even know what the word compromise means!" Mako exclaimed.

"Uh… that's not something to be proud of," Ryuko said.

"We have no secrets for you," The green-eyed Nothic said to Ryuko.

"Well, she does wish for a intimate night for three, brother,"

"Yes, but they knew that anyway. As for the sister,"

"Aw yes, the sister," The red-eyed Nothic said while going to Satsuki, "Worried that she is her mother reincarnate, she is,"

"Flaws and all?"

"Flaws and all," he answered.

"How about the two in the back?" the green-eyed inquired, before cackling amongst themselves. They stare at Kayano, who had done a bad job at hiding.

"We won't tell," the red-eyed Nothic said.

"It'd be awkward,"

"Now, about the dog. Why must he feel like that? Why must he chase the cat?"

"I don't know brother, it must be something about the dog in him,"

"Did you two just quote _Atomic Dog_?" Nonon asked.

"Now for these two," the green-eyed Nothic continued.

"Lovely couple, don't you agree brother?"

"Lovely family to be is more like it,"

"The gnome claims he doesn't his for an heir, but we both know it to be a lie,"

"Yes, brother. It would complete the gnome,"

"Do you want to reveal the surprise, brother?"

"Of course," The green-eyed Nothic stared into Nonon's eyes, "Congratulations, it's twins,"

"Shut up!" Nonon snapped. She thrust her rapier the Nothic's green eye. The Nat 20 stab to the eye did considerable damage and blinded him.

"Roll initiative!" The DMs yelled.

"Spark, you rolled highest. You go first," Ted announced.

"Magic Missile!" Mako yelled. Three arrows of pure energy shot out of her fingers and bombarded the blinded Nothic. After she was done with the spell, her stomach felt heavy and it began to rumble.

"Leena is up next," Korosensei announced.

Satsuki took her longsword, ran past Uzu and slashed the red-eyed Nothic in the arm, dealing near minimal damage.

"My turn!" The blind Nothic yelled. The Nothic blindly swiped at Nonon, who still had her rapier jammed in his eye. Despite his apparent disadvantage, he was able to land both claws and strike true on one of them. This knocked the woman out immediately.

"Okay, that's just too dark," Korosensei objected.

"Sorry dude, that's just Nothics," Ted defended.

"Let's cause a miscarriage brother!" The red-eyed nothic shouted. It then stared into Satsuki's eyes with its rotting gaze, which brought her to the brink of unconsciousness.

"I will burn you monsters alive!" Hoka screamed, breaking his stoic character with a passionate hatred. He jumped in front of Nonon's body. "Burning hands!" Flames came flying out of his hands and began to burn at the blind creature's flesh. At this point, the monster is hanging on by a thread.

Nonon's spectral image rolled a death save, she got a 15. A pass.

Ryuko leapt forward and took swings with her longswords. Both swords manage to land their mark and the sighted Nothic lets out a cry of pain. While Ryuko was dealing with that, Nui runs in with her newly found rapier and stabs the blind Nothic, bringing him to the ground. Nui climbs on top to continue stabbing it maniacally.

"Such aggression," The blind Nothic croaked, "Is it the killer perhaps? How's it feel to stab fresh flesh?"

Nui laughs out loud in an unhinged manner. Her eye (she still wears the eye-patch in game for the sake of continuity) twitches as she answers the monster. "I love it!" Then she finishes it off with a stab to the heart.

"Brother!" the sighted Nothic cried.

Nui pointed her rapier at the Nothic. Her blade, face and clothes covered in blood. She creepily smiles at the beast, "You're next!"

"Nui, are you okay?" Ryuko asked with a tone of concern.

"Never better!" Nui beamed.

Kayano intentionally missed her shot. She didn't want to help out the party more than she was supposed to. Uzu tried to swing his shortsword at the Nothic but it swiftly dodged.

"Top of the turn order," Korosensei called, "Let's go again Spark!"

"Spark! Get Lulu out of here!" Hoka ordered.

"I'm on it," Mako copied. She grabs Nonon by her arms and drags her limp body back about fifteen feet. Along the way, Mako began to vomit silver coins, 69 in total.

Satsuki hacks away at the Nothic once more, this time cutting off a few fingers. The nothic paused and began to speak.

"I know when the quest for knowledge come to an end," The Nothic began, "I was going to save this for food, but it's my last resort!" The Nothic pulled a scroll from behind it's back and opened it up. As soon as he did, a ball of fire formed as the scroll faded to dust. He slammed the ball into the ground and everyone around him, which was the entire party minus Nonon, Kyano, Mako, and Guts, who were outside of the blast radius. If Hoka and Satsuki failed their dex saves, they would have died instantly, but fortunately they did just before the flames were too much. Nui and Ryuko were down to their last health point.

"Are you alright, Livi?" Ryuko breathed.

"He ruined my fun!" Nui yelled.

"Snap out of it!" Ryuko screamed, "Keep everyone here from dying! We only have so much time!"

Nui snapped back to reality and casted Spare the Dying on everyone unconscious party member. The three surviving girl gathered everyone up and laid their unconscious bodies in the storage room. The burnt up girls flopped down on the floor, tired from escaping certain death.

Mako began to use her cooking proficiency to cook up a meal, meanwhile, Mataro (or rather Kayano) was nowhere to be seen. She had retreated back into the armory, there she began to see visions of her patron, Cthulhu.

"Now is the time to strike!" Korosensei told her with his yellow happy face, but in a unmatching creepy voice. She wasn't telling her this as the DM, but as her patron.

"What about the plan?" Kayano asked.

"To hell with the plan!" Korosensei raged, "You are strong and your enemies are weak! Kill them and show me your dedication to my cause!"

Back in the store room, the three girls were talking amongst themselves.

"That fight was going so well," Mako said.

"I can't believe Ted would make the Nothic suicide bomb to add fake difficulty," Ryuko sighed.

"What secret did you think the Nothic saw in Mataro?" Nui asked, "That's been bugging me,"

"Probably that he watches step-incest porn," Ryuko joked.

"Ew! That's not funny!" Nui whined.

"Oh,who cares. We all know he's a pervert," Ryuko yawned.

"I think Guts is in love with Sylveon though," Nui guessed. Guts jumped up at her saying this.

"Well, Guts has never really liked other dogs," Mako explained as she was adding spices to the stew she was making, "He also like human girls and I guess fairy cat… things,"

"What was your's Mako, this compromising the barrier thing?" Nui asked.

"Aren't you nosey?" Ryuko chimed in.

"C'mon, you got to admit that part was cool," Nui admitted, "Hoka wants to be a dad. Nonon's having twins,"

"Satsuki has fears over becoming Ragyo, you take sick enjoyment out of murdering people-," Ryuko contered.

"Ryuko wants to have another threesome," Mako added.

"I think we've been talking about secrets enough," Ryuko ended.

"I'm wish for us to be monogamous by the way," Nui added.

"I got it, I got it, but can't a girl dream?" Ryuko asked.

Just then Kayano, still disguised as Mataro's character, showed up.

"Look who decided to show up," Ryuko complained, "You know, Mataro, you really are-,"

Two tentacles sprouted out of Kayano's neck as she dropped her disguise. She whipped one of the tentacles at Ryuko, but she managed to jump out of the way in the nick of time.

"Ryu- I mean Robin," Senketsu warned, "You haven't recovered any vitality from the rest yet. The slightest love tap will knock you unconscious,"

"Thanks for the heads up," Ryuko said in Infernal.

"Roll initiative!" Ted shouted.

Ryuko rolled a 20 so she went first in with her two longswords. The first swing missed and the second only managed to graze one of her tentacles.

"What's with the tentacles you weird bitch?" Ryuko taunted, "Shiro isn't playing this game!"

Nui was up next. She casted Sanctuary on Mako as a bonus action while she healed Hoka up by 11 out of 14 points with Cure Wounds. After that, Kayano used both of her tentacles to knock Ryuko and Nui out of the fight.

"Burning Hands!" Mako yelled as flames came out of her hands, this would have been great if Mako's wild magic hadn't trapped her in a crystal cocoon. This only left Hoka and Kayano.

"I had a hunch you weren't really Pogo," Hoka admitted, "I couldn't act on it, especially since I failed my insight check. But as a player, you didn't have me fooled,"

"You think you're so smart," Kayano taunted.

"So do you," Hoka retorted, "Look, even if my party was weak, wouldn't it have been better to bring your friends along to ensure victory instead of making it a close game," Hoka tossed a fire bolt and hit Hayano right in the gut. The armor she was wearing began to resemble that of a half-shirt when the flames cleared up. She wasn't doing too hot, ironically enough.

"Big mistake," Kayano taunted, "You left me alive!" She swung her two tentacles at Hoka. The first one lands and deals max damage, knocking him down to just 3 health points. Just as she was getting ready to wind up her next attack, Hoka had a little trick up his sleeve. As a wizard of Divination, he was able to see all dice rolls. If he hadn't of done this, the party would have been wiped out.

"Portent," Hoka muttered. He used one of his dice rolls, a Nat 1, to replace the attack roll. As such, the tentacle hit the hot pot of stew. The stew spilt all over her tentacle, leaving her with only 1 hit point. Meanwhile, Nui and Ryuko were passing their death saves with flying colors.

Hoka relished in his imminent victory. Even though a round of combat is only supposed to take six seconds, he seemed to waste all of that time strolling over to the cowering young woman. He pulled out his dagger.

"Seemed like a good time to use my trump card," Hoka teased, "I have a 3 that I can use, but nothing will be as good as that was,"

"You… you… Nagisa! Karma! He-," Hoka stabbed the little halfling woman in the throat. Nat 20. Her last moments were of crying, coughing up blood, and trying to scream when she simply couldn't. Hoka sighed. Despite the victory, he was the only person left awake. The two girls passed their death saves and became stable. As soon as that happened. Hoka passed out on the floor. On his way down, he knocked over the crystal cocoon and Mako broke free.

"Take tha-... what happened?" Mako asked.

"I feel really bad about that one," Korosensei sighed, "I led her into that trap,"

"Don't worry, you were playing a character," Ted assured him, "The game's not over yet. At least be glad I forgot to put Bones in the turn order,"

The party all eventually woke up and took a nice short rest. Nonon played her song of rest which topped most everyone to full hp.

"Well, no wonder why it took Pogo so damn long," Nonon conversed, "Those ruffians captured him!"

"Now we gotta find him," Ryuko sighed, "Honestly, he's more trouble than he's worth,"

The party sets off into the cavern and cross the bridge directly to their right. As they were crossing, Nonon and Ryuko noticed two chests hidden at the edge of the crevasse. Once across, the two slid down the crevasse walls and moved in on the potential loot. The chests had a small crystal on each of the latches, one red and one green. They opened a chest each. Altogether, they find four potions of healing, ten assorted gemstones, 320 silver, and 240 gold. Along with that, Nonon finds a stylish pair of golden bracelets and Ryuko finds a glove and scroll of Scorching Ray.

"Cool, I found a scroll...and this glove," Ryuko declared.

"Robin, I think we might be able to use that," Senketsu spoke in Infernal, "Put it on," Ryuko puts on the glove.

"Oh, still playing a character heavily based off your own abilities I see," Nonon snarked.

"Whatever, you're a fucking bard," Ryuko snapped.

"I can't help it if the class speaks to me," Nonon grinned.

"Congratulations on the twins," Ryuko sassed.

Nonon storms off to get Hoka to identify her bracelets.

"Rejecting our reality and substituting it with her own, huh?" Senketsu chuckled.

"We'll see how that works out for her. So is the glove any different here than it is in real life?" Ryuko asked.

"It is, the glove will allow you to go into more rages than your daily limit, but at the cost of your blood," Senketsu answered, "So rage more than twice and lose a little bit of health,"

"Not bad, we may keep getting knocked out but I'm damage resistant in rage mode. It'll be worth it just for the extra damage I cause,"

"C'mon Robin," Mako shouted, "Lulu just got a cool item!"

"Basically," Hoka began, "If you were about to get hit, you can try to do a quick dance out of the way. Depending on how well you dance, this could allow you to avoid damage all together,"

"Basically, I roll you a performance check," Bob explained, "And if you roll above 10, which should be easy since you have a 6 in performance, you will take half of your ability score and that will be the damage you avoid. Get a 16 on a check, avoid 8 damage. You have four charges a day,"

"Alright, hopefully this means I won't die so often," Nonon remarked.

"Are we going to move on now?" Ryuko pestered.

Just as Ryuko asked that question, the scream of an annoying little pervert can be heard echoing through the cave.

"Pogo!" Mako exclaimed. Her and Guts followed the screams all the way down to the second hallway. Everyone else ran after her. By the time they got there, Mako had made her way down a flight of stairs and was slumped up against a door on the party's left with an arrow in her back. Guts was worrying about her and his owner.

"Shit, this is a trap," Ryuko muttered.

"Don't worry guys!" Mako's spectral image said, "I'm stable!"

"No metagaming!" Ted shouted.

Meanwhile, Nagisa began to reposition himself. He had been in the room on the right and he shot an arrow through the eye slit in the door, taking Mako down by surprise.

"The fights about to begin," Nagisa warned the rest of the group of ruffian, who were playing cards with the busty blonde sorceress and the stoic man.

"Aww, but I'm on a roll," the blonde whined.

"You know none of this is real right?" the stoic said.

"Do you think we can win?" asked a shy, redbrand ruffian girl in glasses.

"I don't see why now, I think we out number them," replied a creepy looking redbrand woman.

"Try to get behind the group and take another on of them out, Cedric," the stoic man ordered.

"Copy," Nagisa responded and he made his way out the other door. He snuck down the hallway, across the bridge our heroes had crossed earlier and as he was about to climb a stone pillar, he caught something in the corner of his eye. He saw the slain body of Kayano laying in a pool of her own blood.

"Dammit," Nagisa muttered to himself in desperation, "Kayano!"

He went up to the fallen halfling. Her eyes were wide open with the same look of despair she had when she died. The blood that had been oozing from her neck was starting to dry up. The tentacles she had embedded into her neck have shriveled away. Even though this was a game, it still felt all too real to him. He began to tear up, but set his sadness aside for anger instead. He closed his girlfriend's eyes and pulled out a sending stone.

"They're closing in," Nagisa called, "Get ready. Also...they killed Calara,"

The stone emitted a sigh from the other caller, "Alright, copy that," Karma replied.

Back to the party, Ryuko had grabbed Mako and headed up the stairs again. Just as she did, two bugbears appeared from the door she had fallen on. Nagisa was in position and ready to fire on to the party, he figured his easiest shot would be the halfling bard. Just as he took aim, Satsuki's alert feat had let her know that something was about to happen to Nonon.

"Quick Lulu! Dance!" Satsuki yelled.

Nonon did a quick twirl and instead of an instant knockout, she was able to take nine damage with a shot to the shoulder.

"Ow! What the hell!" Nonon screamed.

"I just saved your life," Satsuki said bluntly.

"Roll initiative!" Korosensei announced.

Nui went first and poured a healing potion into her mouth, bringing her back to 10 health.

"What are we doing?" Mako asked.

"We're in a fight!" Nui stressed, "Stay alert!"

"Can this sniper be found?" Satsuki asked on her turn.

"He is pretty stealthy," Ted warned, "I just rolled for you and you can't see where they are at the moment,"

"Maybe there is something on the other end of the hallway," Satsuki wondered, "It's too crowded to engage in melee combat here," So she ran toward the other hallway and prepared herself to dodge any attacks that may come her way.

"Let's rage!" Ryuko said. She used her bonus action to activate her last daily rage and use her action swing at the bugbear in front. Nat 20! This attack dealt a might 18 points of damage, cutting deep into the first bugbear's belly.

"You bitch!" The bugbear cried.

Hoka used his turn to cast grease on the stairs the bugbears were standing on. They both failed their save and fell down to the bottom of the steps, taking damage along the way. The one that Ryuko attacked was barely hanging on. After Hoka's turn, Karma used his turn to dash over the bugbears and to the other room on the right. He was planning to go around and attack from behind.

"Spark, it is your turn," Ted continued, "And also, you manage to spot the sniper," Ted pointed toward the stone pillar on the other side of the crevasse. On top was a small, blue-haired human.

"Hi Nagisa!" Mako greeted as if she wasn't in a fight to the death.

"Shut up!" Nagisa yelled.

"What's his deal?" Mako asked.

"We just killed his girlfriend," Ryuko reminded her.

"Ooohhh," Mako realized, "Magic missile!"

She launched three powerful arrows of energy at Nagisa, dealing 12 damage. Just after she launched them, she began to float up to the ceiling.

"Weeeee!" Mako cheered.

The bugbears threw javelins at Ryuko, which both luckily missed her, and they made a run to the door on the party's right. Uzu used his turn and exceptional speed to go Satsuki's way and even pass her. As he began to go down the hall, he ran into a tiefling fighter at the bottom of the staircase.

"Hi there!" Karma greeted, "We have more people than you, how about you just surrender,"

Uzu took out a dart and threw it at Karma's shoulder.

"I take that as a no," Karma replied.

"Lulu is up next," Ted announced.

Nonon played her flute and gave Satsuki a bardic inspiration dice. She then moved in with her and Uzu, stopping next to her and readying a dodge.

"This battle may look over, but I'll have you know," Korosensei started, "when it comes to assassination, Nagisa is my star pupil. Your party stands no-,"

Nagisa rolled a 1 on a stealth check to hide and fell off the pillar.

"A ONE!" Korosensei shouted, "How can he roll a one!?"

"Well, it is a five percent chance," Ted explained.

"I know about probability!"

After his blunder, he decided to simply take cover behind the pillar and shoot at Mako who was in the air. He struck her in the gut, knocking her unconscious again and causing her to fall from a height of twenty feet.

It was Nui's turn once more and she used Spare the Dying on Mako this time. Satsuki took her turn to run up to Nagisa and take a stab at him. She rolled a one and managed to get her blade stuck in the pillar by Nagisa, which left her open for an opportunity attack. He stabbed her with his rapier, dealing 10 damage.

"Second Wind!" Satsuki announced as she healed half of the damage that Nagisa had just inflicted.

Ryuko, not wanting to led herself into a trap, dashes ahead to join the flanking group. She runs into Uzu, who was at the top of the stairs, staring down Karma. Hoka decided to cross the bridge that was nearby, leaving him with a good shot at Nagisa. However, when he threw a firebolt at him, it missed and hit the pillar.

Karma ran up the stairs at Uzu and stabbed him in the chest with his longsword. With his extra attack, he drove the blade down his stomach. The wood elf was nearly killed right there.

"You are all so weak," Karma laughed, "Bugbears!"

The bugbears ran up the stairs to attack the next person in line, Ryuko. Karma retreated into the room on the left. The healthier bug bear missed his attack, but the injured bugbear used his rage against Ryuko to throw the javelin toward Ryuko and strike her in the stomach. While it did hurt, rage did mitigate some of the damage. While he was down, Uzu rolled a death save and got 10, a pass.

Nonon used her acrobatic ability to jump over the crevasse, which she manages to do with surprising ease. She then went to charge in with her rapier, but she missed her mark as Nagisa was dodging attacks like he was playing a game of Twister. Nagisa knew that this fight would end in his death, so he disengaged and jumped onto the pillar. He then jumped across the carvasse, ran past the party and slid down the greasy flight of stairs.

"I keep forgetting Bones, what do you do," Ted asked.

"I can't really do much," Guts barked.

"Alright, top of the turn order," Ted declared.

Nui peeked around the corner and used her last spell slot to cast Guiding Bolt on Nagisa. The holy bolt of light struck Nagisa in the arm, dealing 10 points of damage.

Satsuki pulled her sword out from the pillar and ran to help the party deal with the bugbears. Satsuki got beside Ryuko and tried to stab at it, but missed again. Ryuko had better luck hitting her target, driving both longswords into the beast and killing it. Hoka's stubby little legs caught up with Nonon and Karma was telling everyone in the room to prepare for battle.

The final bugbear threw a javelin but it missed and bounced off one of the walls.

"I'm sorry," the bugbear pleaded.

"Weren't you the one who called me a bitch?" Ryuko asked.

It was at that moment, the bugbear knew he was screwed. While the bugbear's life began flashing before his eyes, Uzu rolled a 6 on his death save. Nonon jumped back across with such grace, you could swear it was in slow motion. With that amazing jump, she ended her turn.

Back in the room, the ruffians were all surrounded. Nagisa came into the room bleeding from the bolt of light he was pierced with. He grabbed a greater potion of healing on the table and chugged it down. While it did say it was better than a normal potion, the difference seemed negligible.

"You all need to get up there, now!" Nagisa commanded.

"What happened to you up there, kid?" the stoic man asked.

"They killed Calara, they managed to get the drop on me, now they are closing in. They shouldn't be coming from the way I came. The stairs are covered in grease,"

"Let's make them pay for killing our own," Karma shouted.

Back outside, it was Nui's turn yet again. This time, she could hear the screams of her little brother coming from down the stairs. She dashed down the stairs, managing to use the slipperiness of the grease to help her down and took a left at the door. Inside the room were four beds along the walls and in the middle of the room was a bloodied goblin, beaten to an inch of his life.

"Pogo! Are you okay?" Nui whined.

"Just get me out of this damn dungeon," Mataro grumbled as Nui tended to him.

On the other side of the room, Satsuki ran ahead of Ryuko once more and somehow managed to miss again. The final bugbear looked as though there might be some hope. Only for that hope to be stabbed to death with a javelin Ryuko threw at the beast, pinning it to the wall. Hoka finally made his way over to the fight and gave Uzu a healing potion. Uzu stood up, ready to storm the room. However, Karma peeked out the door and managed to stab Satsuki for most of the rest of her health. After that, he retreated into the room.

"I think we need to take a minute to rework our strategy," Hoka suggested, "The ruffians seemed to have locked themselves in this room as a last resort,"

"We can't just run in there one at a time," Satsuki added while clenching her fresh wound, "It'd be like pigs to the slaughter,"

"I found Pogo everyone!" Nui announced as she walked Mataro to the rest of the party on her shoulder, "Bad news though, I'm out of spells, so I can't heal anyone. So Spark is still knocked out,"

"Alright, how many healing potions do we have," Uzu asked. Nonon, Ryuko, and Satsuki held out their potions, "Alright, just three?"

"Doesn't matter," Hoka interrupted, "Give potions to Pogo and Spark. Leena, you look like you need yours pretty bad so go ahead and drink up,"

"Do we have time for a short rest?" Nonon asked.

"And wait the enemy out for an hour?" Hoka said, "We can't do that. The grease should be gone by now so we can split up and attack from both sides,"

The party regrouped, Mataro got his equipment back, and they healed up as much as they could. Just as the group was ready to start deciding who would go where, Nagisa decided to sneak out again. While he was sneaky, he wasn't sneaky enough. Uzu managed to pick up on his movements and ran after him. Nagisa was fast, but Uzu was faster. He grabbed the kid by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the ground.

"Quick! Tie him up!" Uzu called.

"I got these manacles!" Mataro stated.

"Did you steal those from Gredhall? Nevermind, just give them here,"

Uzu locks Nagisa's hands behind his back and throws him against the wall. Korosensei was very worried.

"Alright little girl," Uzu began, "Tell me-,"

"I'm a boy!"

"Wha- really?" Uzu asked.

"I can't believe I got hard from this guy!" Berry cried.

"Whatever," Ryuko interjected, "Tell us who's in that room,"

"Why should I tell you? You bastards killed her," Nagisa screamed.

"Oh, your girlfriend," Hoka spoke up, "I'm afraid she was a bit to hasty with trying to get rid of us. She was so close too. It's a shame. As her killer, I give you my condolences,"

"You son of a bit-," Nagisa screamed, but Nui stabbed him in the leg, causing him to cry in agony instead.

"I've been looking forward to a person to stab at," Nui laughed, "So, please keep your mouth shut. Let me enjoy this,"

"Livi-," Ryuko started, but Uzu held her back.

"No, this will be good," Uzu whispered.

"Oh no! This will be bad!" Korosensei whined.

"I'll never help you," Nagisa screamed.

"Okay then," Nui then pushed the blade into his crotch, giving him a bloody vasectomy in his pants, "What do you know, you are a boy!" Nui laughed.

"Nui, maybe you should-," Mako started.

"Don't take this away from me!" Nui snapped.

"Alright! I give up!" Nagisa admitted, "There's a strong tiefling warrior, three ruffians, and a sorceress. Are you happy? Can I live?"

Nui put her dagger away and Nagisa breathed a sigh of relief. But it was premature, Nui pulled out a mace from behind her back. It was a piece of starting equipment she got, but considering her average strength, she couldn't get much use until now. Nui began to aggressively beat Nagisa's face in, much to everyone's horror. Once he had been knocked unconscious, she had to be pulled off to prevent her from continuing to wail on the body. Mataro unlocked the manacles and put them back in his bag.

"Let me at him!" Nui screamed.

"He's down!" Mako cried, "Don't do this!"

"Settle the fuck down!" Ryuko yelled as she punched her in the face. Nui suddenly snapped back to reality once more and realized what she had done.

"Oh god! I did that!" Nui cried.

"It's fine Nui! Really," Ryuko assured her, "We can deal with that later,"

"Alright," Satsuki began, "The party attacking on the right will consist of myself, Lulu, Alston, and Pogo. The attack team on the left will consist of Robin, Spark, Livi, and Alwin. Be sure the melee fighters are the first to run in and have the ranged fighters and spell casters follow from behind. Pogo stay hidden, your sneak attacks will come in handy. Do we understand?"

"I forgot," Nui spoke up, "I have 10 points of healing to give. Who wants them?"

"How about you give 5 to me and 5 to Leena," Ryuko suggested, "We'll be the ones storming in first,"

The party got into position and as soon as they were given the all clear, the two sisters busted down the doors and attacked the two nearest ruffians. Satsuki would have missed if not for bardic inspiration. The two land their blades into the weaker ruffians, nearly killing them in the process.

"Roll initiative!" Ted declared.

Satsuki went straight toward Karma. She swung her blade and it connected with his shoulder. Then she used an action surge to swing again and hit him in the gut. In total, 23 damage was dealt.

"This isn't over yet," Karma growled.

"Oh no! It's over," Korosensei cried to Ted.

Next it was Nui's turn but with the hall being crowded and her not having any spells, she decided to wait for everyone else to advance. Ryuko, on the other hand activated her rage with her glove, she lost 4 health, but with she managed to finish off the creepy girl with ease. Uzu ran in afterward and went to the sorceress. He swung his sword and used Flurry of Blows. All but the last unarmed attack landed and bloodied the sorceress up. Hoka squeezed past Nonon and cast a firebolt at the other injured ruffian and killed her as well.

Mako ran in next and cast a firebolt at the sorceress. The sorceress used shield to negate the firebolt. However, Mako's wild magic kept acting up and everything in the room flew ten feet toward her, including people. The surge hit Mako with Ryuko, the table and chairs right next to Ryuko, Uzu, the sorceress, and a bunch of barrels. With all the things that hit her, it was a miracle that her body wasn't instantly crushed and killed. Everyone in the room took damage in some way.

The stoic man, Karasuma, got up attacked Satsuki. Both of swings land and he almost manages to take her down.

"I'm sorry, it's nothing personal," Karasuma said.

"Well this it!" Karma said as he swung his blades at Satsuki. She dodged the first but that only made her open to the second swing. She was cut across the gut and went down.

"Your turn Ms. Irina," Korosensei announced.

"At least I have these kids in one place," smirked Irina the sorceress. She let her hands out, "Burning hands!"

Ryuko used her dex save to shield Mako from the flames, taking full damage. Meanwhile, Uzu couldn't take the heat and fell over.

Nonon came into the room and cast sleep on Karma. It was just strong enough to put the warrior to sleep.

Mataro peeked around the corner on Guts and fired an arrow off at Karasuma, dealing considerable damage. At the top of the turn order Satsuki rolled a 13 on her death save and passed. Nui came in to see her sister and girlfriend had been beaten and burned by Irina. She lunged at her with her rapier, but Irina stepped out of the way.

"Livi…," Ryuko stood up with the last of her strength, only for the glove to suck away her last bit of health causing her to fall over on Mako. This only infuriated Nui even more.

Uzu rolled a death save and got a two, failing. Karasuma went toward Nonon and slashed away. The attacks would have landed, but using two charges from her dancing bracelets, she not only managed to avoid all damage, but she also rolled a Nat 20. As she elegantly dances out of the way of the attacks, the Nat 20 allowed her an opportunity attack. She strikes with her rapier, another Nat 20! She stabs Karasuma in the gut, leaving him with only 3 health points to his name.

As Karma slept, Irina cast a 2nd level Magic Missile on Nui. The four arrows of light hit hard, knocking her to the brink of certain doom. She spat up some blood and smiled.

"You shouldn't have done that," Nui threatened.

Nonon just barely managed to pierce Karasuma's neck, killing him. Mataro fired another arrow from the safety of outside the room, but managed to miss somehow. At the top of the turn order, Satsuki failed a death save with a roll of 3, leaving her 1-1. Nui went to lunge at the sorceress, but she negated it with another shield spell.

"Maybe you shouldn't have done that," Irina smiled.

Ryuko, Uzu, and Mako all pass their death saves and good thing they did too. Since their healer was off trying to kill a sorceress. Hoka tossed a firebolt at Irina, but the shield she triggered stopped that as well. On Irina's turn, she quickly stabbed Nui and knocked her out of combat. She then ran out the door only to be met with Mataro and Guts. She uses her last 2nd level spell slot to cast Misty Step and go behind him. She then spent the rest of her turn climbing the stairs. Nonon went to stabilize Nui, which she did upon a successful medicine check.

"Alright Bones, let's get her!" Mataro commanded. He rides Guts up the stairs and as the wolf jumps up to bite her, Irina uses her last 1st level slot to use shield.

Everyone who was knocked out and dying passed their death saves. Hoka tried to stabilize Ryuko but he failed his check. Irina continued to run, but Guts was faster. He pounded and managed to bite into her ankle, causing her to fall over. Mataro hopped off the wolf.

"You know, I really have to thank you," Mataro began, "If you hadn't killed my friend, I wouldn't have been able to steal his cash,"

"Oh, you wouldn't hurt a poor half-elf woman would you?" Irina bluffed. Even with the last of her health, she managed to still look sexy and with Mataro and Guts being complete perverts, they fell for it.

"No, we wouldn't do that, we just want to talk," Mataro continued.

"Promise me you'll let me go and we can talk all you want later," Irina suggested.

It was going to be the perfect getaway, a Nat 20 for persuasion was in the works. The two of them were too gullible to have enough insight to not fall for it. But suddenly, that Nat 20 turned itself into a 3, causing Mataro and Guts to easily see through Irina's lies and seduction, even with disadvantage.

"Wait a second! Y-you're trying to seduce us!" Mataro realized.

"Us?" Irina wondered, "Did you think I was trying to seduce the wolf?"

"He thought you were," Mataro answered. Guts nodded in agreement.

"Gross," said the gnome wizard walking from behind with the halfling bard.

"Everyone should be okay now," Nonon said, "We quickly managed to tie up that tiefling guy and now we just need to take care of this bitch,"

"I didn't even want to play this stupid game to begin with!" Irina yelled, "That Ted asshole dragged me into thi-," Irina was interrupted by a Nat 20 dagger toss to the head from Nonon.

"Alright, I guess we should finish clearing the dungeon," Hoka suggested.

"We're about end it off," Ted warned, "But as you walk back, you notice the body of the rouge is nowhere to be seen,"

"Shit! He got away!" Mataro whined.

"Shit, didn't you admit to killing his girlfriend?" Nonon asked Hoka.

"Well, this will make for an interesting villain later," Hoka dismissed.

"You head back to your party," Ted narrated, "After everyone wakes up, you will all decide what to do from there," Ted teleported everyone back to the real world, with the exception of Nagisa. Nagisa was horribly beaten. His face was skull was cracked open, he couldn't see out of his right eye, his testacles falling out. Needless to say, he was having a bad day. He eventually made his way to the fountain room and out of the door to the outside. After that, he collapsed to the ground and rolled down to the base of the hill. He didn't have the energy to move on.

Just then, the sky grew dark. The wind seemed to pick up as if a storm was coming. He opened his eyes to see Korosensei standing over him.

"Koro...sensei," Nagisa muttered.

"I know not of this Korosensei," Korosensei replied, "I was your lover's patron, Cthulhu,"

Nagisa dropped his head back "Oh god we're still playing this game," He sighed.

"I have an interesting proposition for you," Korosensei continued, "Calara has amassed much of my power, and while I'm fine with having it back, it'd be a shame for it to be all for nothing,"

"So you're offering me the pact?" Why?"

"Honestly boy, I couldn't care if you take the pact or not. You petty mortals are mere insects to me, I just figured you take it, if only for revenge,"

"I don't know…,"

"And you get your testacles back,"

"What about my eye?"

"Look it's one or the other, I'm already being much too generous,"

"Fine," Nagisa agreed. He reached out his hand to shake Korosensei's tentacles, "We have a deal,"

Korosensei shook Nagisa's hand and the magical power of the Great Old One rushed into his body. It was beautiful.

* * *

Back in the game room, the players were all sitting at the table. Further down the table, all of the people they killed during the session were sprawled out on their chairs in the manner in which they died. Kayano's neck was cut open and she was lying in a pool of blood, as was Karasuma. Irina was laying back in her chair with a knife in her forehead and etceteria.

"So how was the session?" Ted asked.

"I was locked in a cell the entire game," Gamagori huffed.

"It was challenging," Hoka said, "Those students from the Assassination Classroom were really tough to handle,"

"Yeah yeah, everyone had fun," Karma dismissed. He was sitting in a chair and tied up, "Now can someone please untie me!"

Suddenly, Korosensei and a one-eyed Nagisa appeared.

"Is it really necessary to kill everyone in real life too," Korosensei asked as he noticed his students and fellow faculty slain across the table.

"Everyone and everything will be back to normal in twenty-four hours," Ted assured, "You're a good co-DM and I'm glad to have you,"

"Thanks I guess,"

"So what happened back there?" Karma asked, asking about why he took so long and about his missing eye.

"I was beaten to half to death by the blonde psycho. Korosensei told me not to tell anyone anything else," Nagisa said.

"She got your eye pretty bad," Karma said.

"Yeah, well at least I have my testicles," Nagisa muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing,"

 **You know how I said Assassination Classroom would be next… yeah… I** **lied. But I'm working on it. Should be out in the next two or three days.**

 **I couldn't help myself, the second Mataro was kidnapped, I knew I had to finish this.**


	15. A Journey Through The Hive Mind

It was another wonderful day at Kiryuin Manor. The half day of freedom the cast of Kill la Kill received last week gave them a sliver of hope that this will all be over soon. Isshin convinced the recently amnesiac Ragyo that she was originally Kiryuin Manor's maid, just to mess with her. The students from Class 3-E have been staying far away from Nui after her psychotic break in a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Senketsu and Junketsu were still getting used to being humans. Now, Nonon is pleading with Bob to give her an abortion while Ted sets up the porno that showed her future children's conception.

"Please!" Nonon begged.

"No, Nonon," Bob answered, "I can't kill fetuses, I can kill them after they're born,"

"I told you, I'm not allowing that!" Nonon argued.

"Then what's the difference?" Bob exclaimed. Then he turned toward Ted, "How's the video coming along, is it almost done?"

"Just waiting on the video to finish, which is taking forever. Why'd Okajima record at 4K, I will never know," Ted replied.

* * *

"What the hell!" Satsuki screamed as she was on top of Uzu during a makeout session in his room, "Who said that?"

"Oh no," Uzu sighed.

"It's me bitch!" Shouted Uzu's penial friend, Berry McCockinner.

"H-How long has your dick been talking?"

"About a week," Uzu answered, "He stopped when we left the house, but once everyone was back, he was talking again. I thought no one else could hear it,"

"At least someone can hear me," Berry blurted, "Hi! My name is Berry McCockinner! Nice to meet ya. Wanna handshake me… for about a minute or two?"

"I know it's not your fault Uzu," Satsuki apologized, "But I just can't do this,"

"I understand," Uzu sighed.

"What the fuck!" Berry protested, "You had no problems sucking me off last week,"

"I couldn't hear you last week," Satsuki brought up.

"Just pretend I'm not here,"

"Sorry Uzu," Satsuki got herself dressed and left his room. As she closed the door, she happened to bump into Nonon, who was crying tears of despair. She immediately hugged her friend as she was in desperate need of comforting.

"Hey Nonon, I'm guessing you had no luck with Bob?" Satsuki inquired.

"N-no," Nonon cried into Satsuki's shirt, "I-I'm sorry Satsuki, I know I've been emotional lately, but…," Nonon couldn't finish her train of thought as she continued to cry. Satsuki hugged her friend back.

"There, there. It'll be fine. You can make it through this, you have me, Hoka, and everyone else for support,"

"It's not fine!" Nonon screamed. She pushed her away, "You're just high right now!"

"I-I… you're not wrong,"

"I hardly spoke to Hoka after I confirmed what the Nothics said a few days ago," Nonon wepted, "I know he wants them, but I feel bad for not feeling the same way. Now Bob's going to show everyone our sextape… and…,"

"Sorry Nonon, there's not much I can say. You have to face it eventually,"

"I know," Nonon sighed.

"We've known each other for a while. If you need to talk, all you need to do is ask,"

"Thanks Satsuki, sorry for being a bother,"

"Don't worry about it, you have bigger troubles right now,"

* * *

"Hey there...cutie pie," Guts flirted.

"Sylveon, Sylve!" Cuddles responded.

"I just realized, since we'll both be pets living with the same family...it'd be best to… get to know each other,"

"Sylve, Sylveon!"

"Wha- I'm not just trying to get with you!"

"Sylve!"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Sylveon,"

"Damn, girl. You are brutal,"

"Sylveon!"

Guts walked away and eventually met up with Mataro.

"So, how'd it go?" Mataro asked.

"Biggest troll ever," Guts replied.

"So I guess that's the end of the line then?"

"Nope, just makes me want her more!" Guts admitted, "So how have things been for you? Miss your sock friend?"

"Why'd you have to bring that up?!"

"Because I knew you'd make a big fuss out of it," Guts laughed.

"Maybe you and Cuddles are perfect for each other,"

"Exactly!"

"Everyone to the theatre room!" Bob announced on the intercom, "We'll be watching what would happen if 4Kids dubbed Kill la Kill, then it's Hoka and Nonon's sex tape!"

* * *

The students of Class 3-E and the cast of Kill la Kill managed to crowd into the large theatre room as Bob announced the opening act. Bob had lowered down a canvas screen in front of the stage and had the projector turned on and paused on a YouTube video. Hoka and Nonon were placed in balcony seating and were making awkward small talk.

"Alright, I present to all of you," Bob started, "Bully la Bully!"

"What?" Ryuko blurted.

Ted put the video on full screen and hit play.

"Riley Matthews is the new kid in school!" The video began, "However…,"

"Who put my father into jail?" Riley said.

"This is going to be stupid," Ryuko sighed.

"I am so glad I smoked before this," Satsuki whispered to herself.

Overall, the video was hilariously silly. The two former kamuis laughed when their characters were introduced. Satsuki was laughing in a hysteric fit at the reveal of Jim Ketchup, and most everyone momentarily forgot the main event.

"Now for the main event," Bob announced.

Nonon dropped her head into her hands. "No! No! No!"

"Ted, change it to PornHub," Bob ordered.

"It's on PornHub!" The stars gasped.

"Yeah, it got like a million views already," Ted added.

"A million people have seen it!" The stars gasped again.

"Top comment… FBI open up," Ted read.

"She's obviously a grown woman!" Hoka defended, "It's called being petite!"

"Thanks Hoka," Nonon smiled.

"I gotta stick up for you sometimes. Especially since...,"

"Yeah, let's just watch our embarrassing video and get it over with," Nonon interrupted.

What followed was a twenty-five minute video of the two stars, who had not remembered anything about themselves or each other at this point, awkwardly acting out a boyfriend-girlfriend scenario. As the action began, the two seemed to enjoy it for what it was. The cinematography and video editing done by some of the students from Class 3-E earned them praise from their yellow, perverted, tentacle monster teacher. The video ended with the conception of Nonon's current problems.

"Thanks for watching," Bob finished, "By the way Kill la Kill, Truth or Dare in thirty minutes,"

Everyone cleared out of the theatre while Nonon and Hoka remained in the balcony.

"This is the worst day of my life," Nonon lamented.

"Nonon, I'm sorry," Hoka apologized.

"Whatever, you got everything you wanted out of this game," Nonon argued.

"What do you mean?!"

"You heard the Nothics! You're happy having kids! You got a girlfriend!" Nonon ranted with tears in her eyes, "You're about to get a family! Meanwhile, I'm getting dressed up as a baby because my tits are virtually non-existent! Oh and I'm going to be popping out twins in about nine months! Twins that, by the way, I never wanted!"

"I was just as shocked as you were when we found out we messed up. However, I've always wanted to have kid. Sure, it's way too early to be having one, but if nothing can be done about it, there's no point stressing over it. The only thing we can do is prepare for the future… And, I know you probably hate me, but I can't imagine having a family without you,"

Nonon wiped the tears from her eyes. "That's the sappiest thing I've ever heard you say,"

"I know, I'll forever cringe just thinking about it,"

"I don't hate you Hoka, I love you," Nonon confessed, "I'm just… what do we do? We're stuck here for the foreseeable future. Then if we are freed, we have to worry about how to provide for the babies,"

"Computer science jobs are well-paying," Hoka suggested, "I could take care of both of you on my income alone,"

"But I also wanted to go out and do something. I wanted to do something involving music, orchestrate, perform, I don't know. But I can't even play anything because babies always sleep,"

"I'm sure we'll figure all of this out," Hoka assured. He gave her a quick kiss, "We've battled things more difficult than parenthood,"

* * *

Everyone gathered into the living room, where all of the Assassination Classroom cast members were lying across the room. Their eyes pure white and they all were smiling and drooling. The cast of Kill la Kill was confused.

"Uh, is everyone on heroin or something," Gamagori asked.

"Nope, even better," Bob answered, "They are on this super cool, custom made drug that allows every user of said drug to experience the same hallucination, each one adding their own little twists,"

"So, a hivemind?" Hoka summarized.

"Exactly Hoka! CrazyMetamorph wants us to do our session in a Utopian land fueled by psychotic drugs, so I decided to get all of these guys high on the stuff and see what world they created," Bob stuck a device onto a random student's head and pushed a button.

Suddenly, the cast of Kill la Kill find themselves transported into a forest of some kind. The trunk of the trees were yellow, wiggily, and made of some kind of flesh like substance. The leaves changed colors constantly, alternating between all colors of the rainbow. The ground was soft, soft like a mattress or a good pillow and colored a light shade of blue. The sky was a bright orange that seemed to give off its own light. There was a large, white crescent moon in the sky with bits of rock scattered around it. Off in the distance, through the trees, they could see a small building. Little did the cast of Kill la Kill know, this was the Class 3-E building recreated in the entire class's subconscious. Bob leds them over to the building.

"What... the...fuck?" Ryuko muttered as she took in the scenery.

"Alright, let's get these dares started," Bob declared as they stopped at the classroom, "The first dares are from Gabe2000. I'm skipping his song dare, because this isn't the time. Maybe some other time Gabe. However, how was Rei and Isshin's date?"

"It wasn't the kind of date you were thinking it was going to be," Isshin answered, "I've known her since she was a child. Sick bastards,"

"Well, that's disappointing," Bob commented.

"Other than that, it was alright. We caught up after not seeing each other for nearly twenty years," Rei added.

"Everyone, how was that half day of freedom?" Bob asked, "Gabe will take thanks in nude pics from the women and chocolate cake from the men,"

"Fuck you Gabe!" Everyone shouted.

"Alright, just for that and also because you were dared to, everyone must take a shot of hot sauce," Bob dared, "Except for Gamagori, he'd probably get off on that shit,"

"That's not true!" Gamagori protested. Although he was suddenly shocked for lying, "Okay, maybe a little,"

The cast was given a shot glass of hot sauce. They could feel the heat of the sauce radiating through their glasses. Everyone took a drink and immediately started breathing flames. The flames of their breath somehow made the leaves on the 'trees' glow brighter. The air suddenly became hotter, as though it had changed to Summer in the American south.

"Looks like you made it summer," Said a voice that sounded a lot like Korosensei. Everyone looked to find where the voice came from. Nui then looked down to see a giant Korosensei face covering the entire field.

Satsuki looked at her joint, "Maybe I should slow down a bit," She said to herself.

"I hope you are enjoying our hallucination," Korosensei said, "It's a shame you are all merely observers in all of this. We have created an entire ecosystem out of all the things in all of our minds,"

"Whatever man," Bob dismissed, "Go bother someone else,"

"Whatever you say," Korosensei's face shifted away from the group, "Aguri! Where are you?"

"Now for Ac's dares," Bob announced. The entire cast sighed when Ac was brought up.

"Let's bring back Evil Nui, Nui Prime, whatever we're calling her," Bob continued, "Hey Good Nui, would it be cool if I refer to you as Nui Mankanshoku from now on?"

"That'd be wonderful!" Nui Mankanshoku exclaimed, "But please don't bring her back,"

"Too late cutie," Said a cutesy voice. It was Nui Harime in her original, one-eyed body, "Ah, why'd you get your eye back? No fair,"

"Because I'm not evil," Nui Mankanshoku huffed.

Just as she said that, a multi-colored snake slithered by and began to speak.

"Did you forget what happened during the lasssst game of Dungeonssss and Dragonsss," The snake hissed in a voice that sounded a lot like Nagisa's.

"Healing is a… gradual process," Nui Mankanshoku said.

"Ssssure,"

"Get lost Nagisa," Bob ordered, "And we are also bringing in mind-controlled Ryuko in her own body,"

A hummingbird with a little headband came flying by and began to speak.

"Isn't mind-controlled Ryuko a bit of a one-dimensional character?" The hummingbird asked, "All she did was just get pissed off,"

"Fuwa, take your humming, fourth wall aware ass somewhere else," Bob sighed.

"I'm back!" said a sadistic sounding Ryuko.

"Great, just what we needed," Senketsu sighed sarcastically, "Two insane blood-thirsty psychopaths,"

"Elite Four, eat these buckets of dead cockroaches," Bob dared.

"This can't be good for the babies," Nonon protested.

"Actually, roaches are full of protein," Sukuyo chimed in.

"You know," Nonon started as she was given her bucket of roaches, "For the sake of me wanting to continue enjoying your croquettes, please don't elaborate," She took a handful of roaches, threw them in her mouth, and immediately wished she could have some of that hot sauce to go with it.

"Uzu, you no longer have Heavenly or Mind's eyes anymore," Bob said.

"What!? You can't do this!"

"Yeah, how is he going to get the ladies without those awesome powers?" Berry protested.

"Shut up, Mr. McCockinner," Bob scoffed.

"Who?" Hoka asked.

"It's nothing!" Uzu and Satsuki blurted.

"O-kay," Hoka said as he took a handful of roaches. Just as he finished, Mako suddenly grew to be over ten feet tall.

"Wow! I'm taller than you Ira," Mako laughed.

"Hoka, inject this into your neck," Bob handed him a fancy looking syringe with some mysterious fluid in it.

"Don't do it! Don't do it!" The trees started to yell as they shook around violently.

"What's this going to do Bob?" Hoka asked with the syringe to his neck.

"Basically, it will make you a tentacle monster," Bob answered.

Hoka sighed as he had no choice. He injected the serum into his neck and immediately blacked out from the pain as his body as the tentacles took root to his nervous system. He began to convulse. As he convulsed, the leaves on the plants began to fall off of the tentacle-like trunks.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Nonon seethed.

Suddenly, Hoka stopped convulsing. He got up off the ground as if nothing happened. He rubbed his neck, wondering how the pain just faded away.

"I can't stand to watch people undergo that treatment," Korosensei said as his giant face suddenly appeared on the ground once more, "So I removed the tentacles before they could take root and do any damage,"

"Ac is kinda getting screwed over today as far as his dares go," Bob sighed, "Sorry man, I'll make them watch crazy hentai next time. Now for CrazyMetamorph's dares. Ryuko and Satsuki must wear the Sam Ketchup and Jim Ketchup costumes from Bully la Bully,"

Ryuko and Satsuki found themselves wearing kamuis once again, but they felt different. For one, it felt as though Ryuko was wearing meat again. Their personalities however, was another story.

"Hi Riley!" Sam Ketchup greeted, "Wanna transform into a hotdog?"

"Hey Stacy," Jim Ketchup greeted, "Let's transform into a hamburger and bully some people,"

"What the-," The two sisters started, but they were interrupted by a sudden transformation into their lunch food forms.

All most everyone could do was laugh as they revealed their transformations to everyone. The sisters, particularly Satsuki, felt gross and greasy wearing Jim Ketchup.

"Are you… real hamburger?" Satsuki asked.

"100% USDA Prime Beef!" Jim Ketchup replied. Satsuki had a minor case of the munchies and she decided to rip off a chunk of Jim Ketchup by the beef patty and eat it, "Owwwwwiieeee! Why are you bullying me?"

"Because your delicious," Satsuki replied.

"I'm glad you're not eating me Riley," Sam Ketchup said, "It just goes to show that bullies only bring each other down while the power of friendship keeps us strong,"

"Actually, I'm not eating you because I hate hot dogs," Ryuko admitted, "I'm actually kinda jealous of Satsuki right now,"

"Satsuki, sloppily eat this pie that'll turn you into a pig-girl," Bob dared.

"Yeah...I think being a giant hamburger is humiliating enough," She said as she pulled out a skip dare coupon, "I'm skipping this,"

"Cool," Bob acknowledged as he made the coupon and pie disappear, "Nonon, practice motherhood by giving Mako a diaper change and breastfeeding her,"

"She's fucking enormous!" Nonon complained, "And I think I've said it before, but boobs just don't produce milk whenever you want them to!"

"Don't worry about your boobs," Bob chuckled, "My powers can allow you to breastfeed for now. They are also making it to where you give birth in like a month or so,"

"You're making her go through nine months of pregnancy… in a month?" Hoka gulped.

"Yes," Bob answered.

"Well this is fucking great," Nonon sarcastically said.

"Aww! You get to be a mommy sooner," Mako cooed.

"I didn't want to be a mom!" Nonon protested, "Now let me find your large ass diaper,"

"Mataro," Bob continued, "Who would you say your more comfortable see naked? Your sister or your mother?"

"I guess my sister," Mataro reluctantly answered, "But are we talking about Mako or Nui?"

"Why should it make a difference?!" Nui complained.

"What?! We're step-siblings! It's not as weird," Mataro defended.

"It doesn't matter," Bob answered, "You're going to be transformed into a copy of your mom and you gotta kiss your dad,"

"Just get this over with," Mataro groaned. He was transformed into a copy of Sukuyo and he quickly gave his dad a peck on the cheek, "Can I change back now?"

"Not until after the session," Bob answered, "Now for the final dare!" Bob teleported everyone to the sidelines, only leaving Nui Harime and Nui Mankanshoku where they were. The two were given lightsabers.

"Nui, this challenge-,"

"Which Nui, you dumbass!?" yelled the mind-controlled Ryuko.

"Uh… I guess both of them, but mostly Mankanshoku," Bob clarified, "As I was saying… Nui, this challenge is a journey of the mind. A battle for supremacy in a split mind, but for real...inside a hive mind… whatever. It's time to face your demons Nui Mankanshoku, only then will you truly be able to move on,"

"Does that mean I'll stop having this hidden bloodlust within me?" Nui Mankanshoku asked.

"Not during D&D, only because it's already an established character flaw, but yes," Bob answered, "Now, fight!"

The two Nuis came at each other swinging. Nui Mankanshoku seemed to be naturally good with a blade, or in this case a lightsaber, but that didn't compare to Nui Harime's remembered practice and experience. Harime wasn't really trying that hard to be perfectly honest.

"It's so cute watching you struggle to hit me," Harime taunted. Mankanshoku managed to get a good swing in at one of her pigtails while caught off guard. Harime got pissed and she swung her lightsaber cutting off Mankanshoku's ear and some of her hair as a warning and she cried in pain as a result, "You had a lucky hit, but even that didn't do anything. You just messed up my hair,"

"I won't lose to you," Nui Mankanshoku huffed as she clenched where her ear was. She imagined herself as her D&D character, Livi Riversun. She went up and charged at her evil self, using her lightsaber more as a rapier than a saber. This caught Nui Harime off guard, her arrogance cost her her other eye. With Nui Harime blinded, Nui Mankanshoku is the victor.

"Well, that was good," Bob remarked, "I say we call it a day," Bob teleported everyone out of the hive mind world and back to reality. When they returned, clothes eating slugs were going to town on the Assassination Classroom cast's attire. When they sensed fresh clothing, the slugs jumped.

"Goddammit Ac!" Bob yelled.

* * *

After a very sticky situation, everyone made a beeline to the showers or bathhouse. Mataro was one of the last ones to shower. As he changed out of what remained of his clothing, and opened the curtain. He saw none other than Nui Harime, fully healed and in the nude. She had her arms and legs tied up, her mouth gagged, and a mysterious crest on her chest. Around her neck, she was wearing a laminated note on a string. Mataro takes the note and reads it.

"Dear Mataro, enjoy your new pet. She is under magic that won't allow her to hurt you. Do whatever you please. Sincerely, CrazyMetamorph9573," Mataro read, "P.S. Happy early birthday,"

Nui Harime looked up at her new owner in fear and contempt. She still had memories of when she was a jizz sock and she wasn't warming up to him anytime soon.

"This is wrong," Mataro said to himself, "I can't do this, she's my sister… step-sister...well, not really," He continued to gradually talk himself into accepting his early birthday present, "Well, what if someone finds out? My family will kill me!"

The note updated its text. "She is yours, she will obey your every command. And I mean _every_ command,"

"Oh my god, this is just too good to pass up though!" Mataro exclaimed, "It's wrong, but I've already been fucking her anyway as a sock. This is just an upgrade!"

* * *

In another dimension, Bob and Ted were in a circus tent with caged up slaves. Ted was giving golden coins to a short, creepy looking man wearing a purple suit and tall top hat.

"Thank you for your business," The man thanked.

"Thank you for being a part of an anime I'm watching this season," Ted replied back.

"And will you stop selling the shield guy ten-year-olds?" Bob shouted, "It's weird,"

"He's free to buy as many little girls as he wants," The man argued, "That's the power of the slave trade and the free market!"

"Whatever," Bob scoffed.

"I hope this boy enjoys his gift," The man chuckled, "A personal sex slave, it's a teenage boy's dream come true,"

"Maybe for you!" Bob and Ted blurted.

"Then why did you come down here and make her his slave, if you have morals," The man mocked as he made air quotes around the word 'morals'.

"This was a dare some dude made, nothing more," Ted answered.

"Yeah, even I feel weird doing this," Bob admitted.

"Suit yourselves...puritans,"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ragyo the maid was cleaning up the mess left behind by the slugs. Cloth dissolving slime had gotten everywhere and began breaking down the furniture and rugs. She went through rags like crazy since when she used them, they also started to dissolve too. Ragyo was sad and frustrated. She did not remember anything and she didn't know how to clean.

Isshin and his daughters happened to walk by as they noticed Ragyo beginning to cry. The family continued to make their way down to the theatre room, pretending as though they didn't notice.

"I can't believe you convinced her that she's a maid in her own house," Ryuko laughed.

"I am a master of persuasion," Isshin smiled.

"What should we have her do next?" Satsuki asked.

"Nothing else," Isshin said, "It's getting late and it looks like she won't be finished in there anytime soon. But more importantly, what movie should I force you kids to watch tonight? The Breakfast Club or Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? Either way, we are going to need to borrow your medicine Satsuki,"

* * *

Hoka figured it'd be best if Nonon moved into his room, permanently. They had slept over in each other's rooms before so it was not problem. The problem came when trying to move Nonon's stuff over to his room and still have enough room for a crib.

"Okay, this is probably the best we can do," Hoka said, "We'll have to put some of our things in storage if we want any room to move around.

"Why don't you get a smaller desk?" Nonon asked.

"Because I need it for my three monitors," Hoka answered.

"Why do you need three monitors? That's overkill," Nonon asked.

"It's a computer nerd thing, trust me, three monitors is necessary,"

"Yeah, the ability to watch three different porn videos on full screen is really important," Nonon playfully mocked.

"You just don't get it," Hoka sighed.

Nonon flopped onto the foot of their new, queen sized bed and smiled.

"You know, this feels nice," Nonon admitted, "I'm not looking forward to giving birth in a month, but I guess that means I can be thin and pretty again quicker,"

"You'll still be pretty," Hoka said while joining Nonon on the bed, "And by the way, something you might like to know about pregnancy, your boobs will get bigger,"

"Fuck you," Nonon smiled as she reached for a pillow and threw it at his head, "Those won't last anyway,"

"Well, I guess we'll have to enjoy them while we can," Hoka hinted.

"How Hoka, I didn't know you watched preggo porn on of those three monitors," Nonon quipped.

"You are really killing it with these zingers tonight," Hoka admitted, "This is what happens when I get sappy with you. I lose my edge,"

 **Hey everyone, Ted here! I hope you enjoyed. I suspect that Nonon will be having her babies in about two maybe three more chapters. Start suggesting names folks!**


	16. The 4th of July

**Hey everyone, Ted here! This Truth or Dare has about ran its course. The next chapter will be the last, maybe I'll do an aftermath chapter after a few weeks, but I think I've overloaded myself yet again. No more D &D as well, maybe I'll pick it up again though, who knows?**

 **Also, I may not hit every dare everyone has. At this point, I'm more interested in wrapping up plot points and not adding new ones. I apologize if you really wanted to see something. This chapter may be on the short side. Next chapter will take place about a month after the events of this one so Nonon will have her babies and some… other surprises. It will be longer too. (I will allow more dares than usual)**

 **Again, I apologize for everything. I fell that my best work comes from when I have one story to focus on and when I fell I can take a day off from writing.**

* * *

It was another wonderful beautiful day at the Kiryuin Manor. It was now July and Bob and Ted were getting ready to celebrate Independence Day. Nobody understood why they had to take part in an American celebration, being Japanese and all, but who could say no to burgers and fireworks? While Bob and Ted began setting things up outside, the cast of Kill la Kill was watching hentai, as Ac had dared.

"This is stupid," Ryuko yawned.

"Yeah, why does everyone want to bang this one guy?" Nui Mankanshoku wondered.

"And you can't make a woman cum with just penetration," Nonon pointed out, "Why the hell does (tailor) like this again?"

"It's weird weeaboo bullshit!" Berry McCockinner exclaimed, "But I like it!"

"But there's tentacles," Uzu whispered.

"Your point?"

The video ended and everyone walked out feeling like they had just wasted twenty minutes of their lives.

* * *

While all of this was going on, Nui Harime was trapped in Mataro's room. She had given up on wearing her dress and doing her hair and just wore her undergarments and kept the hair down. Any attempt to leave causes great pain to her as well as any cries for help. All she could do while her master was away was watch TV and cry to herself about her lot in life. However, after being locked away for nearly two weeks, with no outside contact, and subsisting on leftovers brought to her, Nui had a plan. All she needed was needle and the box of condoms that he had (which now come with every room, thanks to Nonon's complaints).

As she got out the box and started poking holes in the condoms one by one, she began talking to herself.

"This will show him," Nui Harime cackled, "I didn't want it to come to this but now that I'm putting my plan to action, I can't wait to see the look on his face,"

She then heard footsteps and immediately tossed everything back into the cabinet. She tossed the needle aside, since she didn't need it anymore. Just before Mataro opened the door, Nui noticed that she still had a condom in her hand that she had compromised. She quickly jumped on the bed and held the condom wrapper by the corner on her mouth.

Mataro opened the door and was shocked to see Nui Harime laying across the bed in a sexy pose.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Guts said as he did a complete 180 and left.

"What's this all about?" Mataro asked.

"I'm just tired of being a bad girl," Nui lied, "Call it Stockholm Syndrome, but I wanna change that,"

"Good enough for me!" Mataro exclaimed without a second thought. He closed the door and ran to the woman.

* * *

Nonon was at the equivalent of being six months pregnant and at this point there was no doubt. Nonon's belly had swollen a lot and her boobs were growing to the point where she had to borrow some bras from Nui. She was having twins so she also had to eat enormous portions of food constantly to keep up with the rapid energy consumption of a one month gestation period. Her nights were restless, riddled with constant back pains, heartburn, headaches and all the other fun side effects that come with having babies.

"I feel like shit," Nonon sighed as she flopped onto their bed.

"Need anything?" Hoka asked.

"Just food," Nonon said feebly.

"All see what's in the kitchen," He began to walk out of the room until Nonon spoke again.

"Hoka, do you think I'm fat?"

"You're pregnant, there's a difference" Hoka answered stoically.

"So I am fat," Nonon wept.

Hoka sighed. Along with all of this came wild mood swings that just couldn't be possible. He learned quickly that it's best to wait it out.

"You're beautiful Nonon," Hoka sighed, having been through this almost everyday for the past week and a half.

"You're just saying that!" Nonon cried.

Hoka sat on the bed and gave Nonon a passionate kiss, which calmed her down and reassured her. Hoka has been through this so many times he knows exactly what happens next.

"I'm hungry for… something else," Nonon whispered.

Tired, then sad, then horny, then happy. Pretty much how Hoka sees it. He couldn't complain much.

* * *

"Alright everyone! Today is the 4th of July!" Bob announced, "You know what that means?"

"It's your holiday," Satsuki sighed, "Not ours,"

"Oh c'mon now," Bob scoffed, "America is like all other countries. We like food, booze, and fireworks too, we just do it better,"

"There goes that American egotism," Gamagori scoffed.

"Whatever, it's Truth or Dare time," Bob declared.

"On a holiday!" Nui cried.

"Now you all want to celebrate. Look, we have some time before it gets dark. He got beer in the cooler, Ted's grilling some burgers. Let's just knock out some dares and the survivors can enjoy a wonderful 4th of July," Bob took out his stack of notecards and began, "The first ones are from CrazyMetamorph9573. Nonon, have you decided on any godmothers or godfathers? He seems to think Mako would be perfect,"

Nonon walked over to the group with burgers in each hand. "As long as Gamagori kept her in line, sure. But I don't know about Mako by herself,"

"C'mon Nonon," Mako wailed, "I'd be a good godmother,"

"Yeah, until me and Hoka die any you're promoted to mother," Nonon sassed.

As she was bickering with Mako, the potion that Isshin had consumed months prior had it's secondary effect activated. He shrunk down and turned into a little girl.

"What the hell!" Isshin whined.

"Side effect of the youth potion," Bob explained, "By the way Nonon, here is a smoothie, courtesy of Ac,"

Nonon ate the rest of her burger and used her free hand to grab the smoothie.

"This doesn't have any weird side effects, does it?" Nonon asked.

"Not this time," Bob answered, "Ragyo, you are being assigned to the new Taco Bell here in Kyoto. Have fun.

Ragyo disappeared to clean toilets in the infamous fast food restaurant. May the Gods have mercy on her soul.

"Ryuko, if you and Nui could procreate, would you want to? If so, who'd be the mother?"

"No way!" Ryuko swore, "Knowing you, whoever's the father has to grow a dick and I'm not doing that again. Besides, look at Nonon over there! She's already eaten three hamburgers and we've only been here for like five minutes,"

Nonon tossed the rest of her smoothie at Ryuko's face out of anger.

"I'm due in two weeks and I still have three months of pregnancy to go!" Nonon shouted, "Fucking bitch!"

"I think it'd be nice to have a baby," Nui chimed in.

"But Nui-,"

"I know it's hard, but even if we can't make one ourselves, we can always adopt,"

"Not now," Ryuko sighed.

"Speaking of babies, Mako, aren't you concerned that your babies with Gamagori would be too big for you to carry?" Bob asked.

"I saw a picture of Ira's mom," Mako said, "she's even tinier than me!"

"Natural birth even," Gamagori added.

"That poor woman," Nonon whimpered.

"Guts, I know you like the Sylveon-,"

"Her name is Cuddles!" Nui corrected.

"Alright… you like cuddles. CrazyMetamorph asks if you would be worried about a bunch of Eevee pug hybrids,"

"Sylveon!" Cuddles said.

Bob snapped his fingers, allowing the Sylveon the speak.

"Thank you," Cuddles said in a soft, sweet sounding voice, "Anyway, does that guy not know how Pokemon breeding works?"

"No matter who the father is," Hoka began, "The baby always takes on the mother's species. That and Pokemon are separated into egg groups-,"

"And you know too much about it," Cuddles snarked.

"What, I played competitive for a short time," Hoka defended.

"Lame," Cuddles mocked, "And I bet you think e-sports are actually sports,"

"You were right man," Mataro whispered to Guts, "She is a bitch,"

"Nui," Bob continued, "CrazyMetamorph would like to congratulate you on facing your fears regarding your former self. He thinks you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Do you have any comments regarding her?"

"I don't know, it's not like she's here or anything," Nui said. Mataro and Guts whistled like they didn't know anything.

"Hoka, switch bodies with Nonon and give her a break," Bob declared. He snapped his fingers and suddenly, all of Nonon's pregnancy problems were gone.

"This feels so good right now!" Nonon cheered.

"I feel miserable," Hoka whined, "How do you do this?"

Uzu suddenly jumped up and laughed maniacally.

"What's your deal, Uzu?" Nonon asked from Hoka's body.

"I'm no longer Uzu!" He said, "The name is Berry McCockinner! I've taken over his body! I can bang all the bitches!"

"What the hell!?" Ryuko blurted.

"He had a talking penis," Satsuki explained.

"And now you have me," said a voice coming from Satsuki's panties.

"Oh no," Satsuki sighed.

"I'm sorry that this will happen," Her vagina apologized shyly, "But nothing will stand in my way of being with Berry," When she said that last bit, she sorta gave off some yandere undertones that was disturbing to say the least.

"Apparently sentient genital magic has some serious drawbacks," Bob noted.

"You think?!" Satsuki yelled.

"Anyway, I guess these are Ac's dares anyway so let's continue. Mako and Gamagori are now one!" Bob snapped his fingers and Mako suddenly disappeared and became a voice inside Gamagori's head.

"Hi Ira!" Mako said from within his mind.

"Alright, I'm skipping the evil Senketsu dare. Simply because I'm going to be leaving you all alone soon,"

"So, you'll finally stop making us go through this shit!" Nonon asked.

"Yeah, I figured you have all been ruined enough. But before that, Ryuko, gain the shitty power of mortality!" Bob snapped his fingers and life fibers began flying out of Ryuko's highlight and forming a ball of yarn in Bob's hand.

"Took you long enough," Ryuko scoffed.

"W-what about me?" Nui asked, "I don't want life fibers if Ryuko doesn't have them,"

"You weren't dared to have any," Bob said, "Now you two have to duke it out to the death,"

"What!?" Nui and Ryuko yelled.

"That's the dare," Bob smiled, "And no throwing the match!"

"But I don't want to kill Ryuko," Nui cried, "She doesn't stand a chance now!"

"I'll be fine Nui," Ryuko assured her. She placed her hand on her arm, "I'll try not to make it too easy,"

Nui was practically in hysterics at this point, "But… but-,"

"I'll be back in the morning, you know that. C'mon,"

"Fight!" Bob declared.

Ryuko threw the first punch and hit Nui and the stomach. Ryuko's mortal punches didn't hurt much, but the fact that the lovers were fighting made up for it in Nui's eyes. As Nui cried a river of tears, she swung a punch at Ryuko that knocked her into the side of the manor. When the dust settled, Ryuko was barely hanging on. Typically, a punch like that was just a love tap, but it packed a punch. Her ribs were broken, there was certainly internal bleeding, and most of her limbs were shattered.

"This hurts...so… much," Ryuko wheezed with a smile.

Nui walked over to her battered girlfriend.

"Ryuko-,"

"I hope… you can lose those life-fibers… next time," Ryuko wheezed, "It'd be unfair if they didn't. Don't worry… about me… I know you aren't… hurting me out of malice. Can you finish me off… it hurts,"

Nui couldn't bear to do this. She wound up another punch and hit Ryuko on the side of the head, fracturing her skull, damaging the brain, along with the brain stem, and killing her instantly.

The audience watched in shock at what they had witnessed. They felt bad for both of them, except for Berry McCockinner, he didn't really care. He just wanted to get laid. Nui dropped to the ground and continued to bawl her eyes out.

"I can't wait for this game to end," Isshin the little girl sighed.

"Soon, soon," Bob assured them. Bob snapped his fingers. Mikisugi and Tsumugu's dicks blew up and left them writhing in pain, "We're almost done here," Bob snapped his fingers again and gave every chastity belts, "Now we move onto Gabe2000's dares. Since Ryuko is currently dead, she will not be licking anyone's feet today. However, everyone will be licking a taser… you know what, I'll just tase all of you,"

Bob clapped his hands and everyone received at five-second long jolt that hurt like hell.

"Also, everyone gets beards," Bob added. At this point, Bob was snapping in dares like an applause at some kind of hippie jazz show as the entire cast, even the women, grew long beards.

"Are we done now?!" Omiko yelled.

"Hey, you're still here," Bob shouted, "And no, we have dares from a new guy by the name of dcfer. Barazo, play Surgeon Simulator,"

"I use that game to train!" Barazo exclaimed.

"Of course you do, nevermind," Bob sighed. Bob snapped his fingers three times, turning Gamagori (and by extension Mako) into a talking shield, Uzu's personality was found in the void and transformed into a green bakuzan, and Nonon, who was in the body of Hoka, was turned into a laptop.

"Now Satsuki and Ryu-, I mean Nui, must fight off spartan soldiers," Bob dared, "Mataro will be given a shit ton of chocolate which will be teleported to his room. After this, I'm going to enjoy the fireworks like an American!"

About three hundred spartans came jumping over the fence and charged at Satsuki and Nui. Nui picked up her lover's scissor blades and the two began to fight the army.

"I thought these spartans were from Halo," Ted asked Bob while he was grilling burgers.

"Ted, we hate Halo," Bob explained.

"Sure we do, but couldn't you take five seconds to-,"

"Shut up Ted,"

* * *

Later, the fireworks started and the cast was in low spirits. Sure, they were going to leave soon. But Uzu's been completely taken over by his penis, the same will probably happen to Satsuki, and they watched Nui being forced to kill Ryuko. Nui was off hugging Cuddles under a tree as the fireworks went off.

"She doesn't hold it against you Nui," Cuddles comforted.

"I know. I know she'll be fine, but what about me? She'll die and if I don't lose my life-fibers. I'll live forever!" Nui cried.

"I'm sure CraztMetamorph will allow it, he's been nice to you," Said a familiar voice.

"Ryuko?"

Ryuko's ghost came floating over to Nui. She got down to her level and tried to hug her, but being a ghost, couldn't do so.

"I guess Ted's making Bob be nice. Something about patriotic mercy or something,"

"What, is he going to declare 'democracy' and take our oil," Cuddles snarked, "Or was two bombs not enough?"

"Damn!" Ryuko and Nui blurted.

"What?"

"Whatever the case, I'll be with you Nui. Never thought I'd say it, but this game has been somewhat alright… All things considered,"

"What will we do after this?" Nui asked.

"I don't know. Mako's house will be crowded with us and I'm assuming Senketsu will be staying with us since he's a human now. I'm thinking we get an apartment or something, we both get jobs… maybe have a kid,"

"Really!?"

"Hey, don't get your hopes up! I said maybe!"

* * *

Hoka, who was in Nonon's body watched the fireworks with Nonon, who happened to have a webcam built in to her laptop body. All was okay until Hoka felt a bump in her body's stomach.

"Nonon...I think one of the babies just kicked," Hoka exclaimed.

"What! No fair, I'm the mom! I wanna feel!"

"You want to switch? But this pregnancy thing is horrible. I'm feel kinda bad for getting you like this,"

"I don't care! I've had those babies for two weeks and I want some positive feedback! Let me switch! Let me-,"

Ted saw this from a distance and snapped his fingers. Nonon was back into her normal body. Hoka was also brought back to his normal self and the two enjoyed the night feeling the kicks of their children, eating American Barbeque, and looking at the firework show. Ted smiled, even if he wasn't enforcing the rules, he felt as though there should be exceptions. This was one of those times.

* * *

Back in Mataro's room, Nui Harime was feasting on the chocolate that was sent to the room. The chocolate filled the room, with large bars filling every nook and cranny. As she ate, she watched the fireworks from the window, longing for freedom.

"I almost feel bad," Said a shadowy figure with a white mask. It was CrazyMetamorph, "almost,"

"You dared me into this shit? Didn't you!?" Nui Harime screamed, before being shocked by the slave crest for being too loud.

"I'm just here to give you a truth. Would you do anything to escape your fate?"

"Of course I would and I don't need your help,"

"Oh? What are you doing then?"

"I poked holes into all of his condoms," Nui explained, "As soon as the boy realizes what he did, he'll panic. Once someone panics, they tend to get careless. He'll spill the beans about my existence and I'll be free,"

"What if he manages to keep everything underwraps?" CrazyMetamorph asked.

"How could he? Even if he doesn't slip up, he has a month left. He can't deliver a baby, and assuming he does, then what? It's the best plan I have and I don't need you!"

"Whatever you say," CrazyMetamorph disappeared into the shadows, eager to see what happens next.

 **Again, sorry for the short chapter. I'll make it up in the finale!**

 **By the way, I could always use more baby names. Boy and Girl.**


	17. The Finale!

**Hey everyone, Ted here! It was a nice day at the Kiryuin Manor. August had just came around and the cast of Kill la Kill was waiting in anticipation to finally leave the manor and this stupid game once and for all. Blah blah blah. But before we get to the final session, we must go over some highlights from the past month.**

* * *

Two weeks after the last session, Nonon and Hoka were hanging out in the living room, waiting for the inevitable to start happening. Ted had told them that today was probably going to be the day that she'd give birth to the twins. Nonon could feel the kicks of her children from inside her while Hoka had his hand on her large stomach.

"Today's the day, huh?" Nonon muttered.

"Yes, it is," Hoka replied, "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Nonon responded, "If I'm more of a raging bitch than usual, please don't take it personally,"

"I already accepted that you were," Hoka snarked.

"Asshole," Nonon chuckled.

"Admit it, you prefer that comment than the sappy stuff I've been telling you the past month,"

"Sure, but sappy Hoka has been a nice change of pace and easier on the mood swings… Can you help me up? I gotta pee again,"

Hoka helped Nonon up and led the woman to the bathroom. Nonon insisted that she could handle it, but Hoka didn't want to leave her alone when the babies were due. In the end, Hoka's concerns were spot on.

"Hoka…," Nonon called from inside the bathroom, "I think my water broke,"

"Shit," Hoka muttered, "Hold on, I'll go get-,"

Suddenly, Korosensei came speeding by with one of his students, Kimura, in tow

"We're here!" Korosensei declared, "Don't worry, as a police officer, Kimura has EMR training. He can deliver the babies.

"I've only seen a video on like two years ago!" Kimura protested, "I've never actually done this!"

"You can do it Kimura, we have faith in you," Korosensei assured.

"We need to get her to a room, pronto," Kimura sighed, "Korosensei, I'm going to need the supplies that Ted mentioned earlier.

"Already have them," The yellow tentacle monster replied, carrying a large medical bag, "Where should I set everything up?"

"Just go to our room," Hoka answered. Korosensei immediately sped away. Hoka and Kimura helped Nonon get to their room. Meanwhile, news of Nonon's labor made its way around the manor.

"Aww! Nonon's having her babies," Mako cheered, "Oh how time flies,"

"Only because Bob sped everything up," Ryuko reminded her.

"Do you think she can do a natural birth?" Nui wondered.

"Either way, we need to go cheer her on," Mako exclaimed.

"Mako, that sounds like an awful idea," Gamagori cationed.

"Even for you," Satsuki added.

"C'mon guys, she needs all the support she can get in a time like this!" Mako argued.

"Go on ahead then," Ryuko sighed.

Mako went to their room and after a few seconds of agonized shouting and threats, Mako left the room with tears in her eyes.

"She got mad at me," Mako whined.

"We told you it was a bad idea," Gamagori reminded her.

After about an hour of horrible, agonizing labor pains and an even worse delivery. Hoka came out into the living room to share the good news.

"So, what are they?" Nui asked.

"It's a boy and a girl," Hoka said with a smile, "Come and see, I promise she won't bite anyone's head off this time,"

"I hope so," Mako worried.

Nonon's friends made their way to the room to find Nonon holding two wrapped up babies. One in a pink blanket and one in a blue blanket. The sudden onset of motherhood showed everyone a side of Nonon that anyone hardly ever sees. She was smiling, practically in awe, at the fact that she had a baby boy and girl in her arms that she birthed.

"Sorry about earlier Mako, but you really weren't needed in here," Nonon apologized.

"I just wanted to offer morale support," Mako sniffled.

"Aww! They look so cute!" Nui cooed.

"What are you going to name them?" Ryuko asked.

"Can you name one after me!?" Mako asked.

"No," Hoka and Nonon answered in unison.

"Although," Nonon began, "I was thinking of naming the girl Kotone and the boy Hibiki, but I think Hoka should name one of them,"

"They both sound fine to me," Hoka said.

"Well, I guess it's official!" Nonon exclaimed.

"Congratulations Nonon," Satsuki smiled.

"Thank you Satsuki," Nonon thanked, "You've been there for me when I needed it. Actually, all of you have been," She begins to shed a tear, "I don't know what's come over me, but I-I just want to say I'm glad to have you all as friends,"

"Yeah, how much drugs did they give you?" Ryuko asked, "The real Nonon would never say something that lame,"

"It's probably just hormones," Gamagori answered.

"I'd say something sassy, but I don't want to ruin the mood," Nonon said softly, "I'm just so amazed that I did this. I just want to be the best mom I can be for these kids,"

Hoka went in for a kiss on Nonon's cheek. "And you will,"

"By the way, I'm never doing that again," Nonon said calmly, "As soon as we are out of here, I'm getting my tubes tied,"

"Understood," Hoka confirmed.

"You did a good job, Kimura," Korosensei congratulated.

"I hope I don't have to do that again," Kimura complained.

"Isn't Kayano expecting?" Korosensei replied.

"Dammit!"

* * *

While Nonon, Hoka and everyone else was celebrating the birth of two new lives. Mataro found himself in a bit of a predicament. His sex servant, Nui Harime, was getting fat. At first, he thought it may be because of the tons of chocolate that he had received last session, but he had suspicions that something might be worse. Later that night, he instructed Nui to take a pregnancy test in the restroom next door. After a few minutes of waiting, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Two lines, what does that mean?" Nui Harime lied.

"Oh no… no no no!" Mataro began to panic.

"Does this mean I'm having your child?" Nui asked. She asked the question in a manner to freak Mataro out the most.

"...hold on!" Mataro ordered, "Stay here!"

As Mataro left, Nui made an evil grin. Her plan was coming together and he was in a panic. Mataro ran to his friend, Guts, for support. He was peacefully sleeping on a doggy bed in the living room with Cuddles.

"Guts… Guts!" Mataro whispered, while shaking the dog awake.

"Wha- what…," Guts answered groggily.

"I need to talk to you, now!" Mataro continued to whisper.

The two moved to the kitchen and began to have their conversation.

"What's up with you kid?" Guts asked, "I was having a great time sleeping by Cuddles. She finally warmed up to me man!"

"Congratu-fucking-lations," Mataro scoffed, "But I have a problem!"

"Oh my God, is it about Nui Harime?" Guts asked, "I've told you, that was a terrible idea. Literally everything you have done is terrible. Sometimes I wish I wasn't your only friend here,"

"I got her pregnant," Mataro blurted.

"Woah… you're fucked," Guts replied.

"I was hoping you'd help me!"

"I never wanted to be involved in this. I wish you hadn't told me! The only reason I don't tell the rest of the family is because I don't want to kick start the drama that would result from this. Besides, what could I possibly do to help you? Kill her?"

"Well… I've considered it,"

"Jesus Christ!"

"I decided against it! Look, I was hoping that you'd have idea because… you're an animal and… sometimes animals don't… always ask for consent,"

"Mataro, I am a domesticated, talking pug. I'm not one of your run-of-the-mill savage wolves or something. I'll admit, I am a perverted pug that is more attracted to humans and pokemon more than I am other dogs, but I at least have a shred of decency about it!"

"Alright, sorry I asked,"

Guts sighed. "Look kid, you've been my best friend ever since you picked me from my brothers and sisters in that cardboard box. I am forever grateful for the life that you and your family have given me. But us dogs mature at about seven times the rate as you humans. And while I could go tell your mom and the rest of the family you've been banging the evil clone of your step-sister, I sorta hope that you man up and tell them yourself. You're thirteen kid, you gotta start thinking about being an adult. They already suspect that you have an attraction to her anyway, so it's not even the biggest shock in the world. Just do the right thing, man,"

"...I understand Guts. But I just can't do that. I've always been considered a perverted creep, but this is the first time I've felt shame from my actions. I can't face Mom and Dad, and I definitely can't face Nui, my sister, after all this. I think I have an idea on how to do avoid responsibility in the most responsible way I can,"

Guts sighed. "Wow… you really are an idiot aren't you? Fine. Do your thing," Guts began to walk back to his doggy bed, "It'll come back and bite you in the ass sooner or later, just know that,"

* * *

As much as Satsuki hates to admit it, she really misses Uzu. She's had the green bakuzan his soul had been transformed into ever since the last dare. She's never been the type of girl to fall in love. She always thought of love as just a chemical reaction that gets in the way of accomplishing your goals. Even after defeating Ragyo and saving the world, she still had trouble accepting that it was okay to love. She was accepting of the fact while she was under the influence of alcohol or marijuana, but lately, she's been getting emotional even while sober.

She can't stand to see Berry McCockinner running around in his body, trying to pick up women in the most obnoxious way possible. Meanwhile, she knew that unless there was a dare reversing the effect, she would suffer the same fate as Uzu. Her vagina, who calls herself Cookie, reminds her of this every once and a while. Usually with mentioning that they will all be together with their loves of their lives, knowing full well that would result in Satsuki's death. She hasn't told anyone about her problem yet. She doesn't want to worry anyone.

* * *

Two weeks later, the day of the session had finally arrived. The cast was anxiously waiting for the game to start so that they could finally leave and get this part of their lives over with. Although, there was some confusion as to how things would work. In the Assassination Classroom Truth or Dare game, Bob killed himself to avoid talking like a girly girl and not swear so everyone figured Ted would take over. The cast was shocked to see the mind-controlled Ryuko clone speak in Bob's voice and greet them.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to the final session of Mister InsaneGuy's Truth or Dare: Kill la Kill Edition!" The mind controlled Ryuko announced with Bob's voice, "I know you are all eager to leave and-,"

"Question, why aren't you in your body?" Nonon asked.

"Because if The Wizard of Runes doesn't know I'm alive, he can't enforce his dare upon me," Bob answered, "That and I have really nice tits now. Nui, you scored big time,"

"Thank you," Nui smiled.

"Don't go thanking him!" Ryuko protested.

"Anyway, how about we just get these dares started before the overwhelming power of my soul completely destroys this body. Our first dares come from dcfer and he wants Hoka to break his laptop and use the pieces to build a robot nyancat,"

Hoka sighs as he smashes his laptop onto the ground. "Is this guy from 2011 or something?"

"Maybe," Bob answered, "He also wants us to watch every episode of Death Battle on Youtube, but this body doesn't have much time. So consider it homework. Nui, you get a kamui!"

"I don't want it," Nui replied.

"But it's yours, it has a name and everything,"

"I don't want anything to do with life-fibers. Actually, I want the life-fibers I have to be taken away from me!"

"Alright! I'll give you this dare from Ac early. It was going to be a surprise, but I realized you can't give Gamagori a kamui-powered dropkick because of your situation," Bob reaches out his hand and absorbs the life-fibers from Nui, using them to patch up his host body temporarily. With that, Nui was mortal, "Just drop-kick Gamagori and you don't have to wear life-fibers again,"

"I'm free! I'm free!" Nui cheered as she put on the kamui.

"Can't I at least put on my Goku unif-," Gamagori started before Nui drop kicked Gamagori with extreme force, knocking him through the wall of the living room and out into the backyard. Nui peeked through the hole she made.

"Sorry Ira!" Nui apologized, "I just got excited!"

"It's fine… it just hurts to breathe,"

"Uzu will be getting his body back and Berry will be stuffed in a magic lamp," Bob announced.

"What! That's not cool man!" Berry began to panic, "I was just starting to really like this body… NOOOOOOoooooooooo!" Uzu's body fell over and a few seconds later, Uzu woke up and picked himself up off the ground.

"What happened?" Uzu asked.

"Uzu! You're back!" Satsuki cheered as she ran up to hug him without thinking. Uzu's head was awfully close to Satsuki's breasts, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Satsuki… you seem very… affectionate. Are you high?" Uzu asked.

"Only a little," Satsuki admitted, "But I really missed you and…,"

Uzu interrupted Satsuki's stammering with a kiss. Some that was unthinkable about a year and a half earlier, but considering their on again off again relationship, he believed he was in the clear.

"Aww!" Bob said, "How romantic allow me to fuck that up by making Ryuko immortal again!"

"Please don't!" Ryuko begged, "I don't want this!"

Suddenly, Ted showed up from out of nowhere and held his finger on Bob's neck. Bob was suddenly paused, unable to do anything.

"Hey guys," Ted greeted, "Sorry about that little scare, I want this last session to be a happy one. So I will use my executive powers as the dominant personality to skip the rest of these dares,"

"Thank you Ted!" Ryuko and Nui thanked.

"You were always the more tolerable host," Hoka admitted as he tried to make his laptop hard drive into a poptart body,"

"Thank you, and while I'm at it. I'll heal Gamagori up too," Ted used his free hand to snap his fingers and Gamagori's ribs were healed, "Just promise me you'll exclude me from the last dare. You'll know why," Ted used the finger he had on Bob to trace a few circles. The Ryuko clone body began to deteriorate more, cracks started to appear in the host's face with green light shining through.

"Kinda reminds me of Derek Powers," Ted remarked as he took his finger off of the body and disappeared.

"Okay, now that we are done with those dares," Bob said without skipping a beat. He had no idea what had happened at all, "A guest wants Mako to have taste buds on her hands for the rest of the session. Weird. But also, we have dares from CrazyMetamorph9573. He has informed me of something I wished I'd known last month during the 4th of July celebration,"

"A holiday we don't celebrate," Gamagori added.

"Quiet you… aren't you supposed to have broken ribs?" Bob asked.

"Uh… It was Guestspirit," Gamagori lied.

"Damn that guy! Anyway, you all know the United States National Anthem now. Sing in front of this green screen and we'll poorly edit in an American Flag waving in the background. Just like 4kids used to do,"

* * *

"And now, the cast of Kill la Kill will sing the National Anthem!" Bob announced.

"Oh, say can you see. By the dawn's early light!" Ryuko sung.

"What so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming!" Mako sung.

"Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight," Nui sung.

"O'er the ramparts we watched," Gamagori sung poorly.

"Were so gallantly streaming," Uzu sung.

"And the rocket's red glare," Nonon sung with extra gusto, "the bombs bursting in air,"

"Gave proof through the night," Hoka sung in monotone.

"That our flag was still there," Senketsu sung.

"Oh, say does that star-spangled," Mataro sung.

"Banner yet wave," Satsuki sung, though she had never really sung before so she was off key.

"O'er the land of the free," The cast sung all together, "And the home of the brave!"

* * *

"That was stupid," Hoka remarked.

"It's okay you all were," Bob pointed at the cast but as he did, the host's finger fell off, revealing more green glow, "This body is getting pretty bad. Mataro, do you want to look like Ryuko one last time?"

"I'm good!" Mataro yelped. He seemed fairly out of character, like something weighed heavily on his mind.

"All right, that's cool," Bob said, "Now for some gifts!" Bob tossed Nui a box from CrazyMetamorph and she opened it. Inside was a pink, strap-on dildo.

"A strap-on, but we already-," Nui started before Ryuko quickly covered her mouth.

"It's a life-fiber infused dildo that allows the wearer's eggs to be converted into sperm. Use it when you feel like having kids, or later on when I'll dare you to have sex to magically conceive a child anyway. And before you ask, no, the children will not have life-fibers,"

"That's… disgusting," Nonon remarked.

"Yeah, even Ac of all people thought this was too much," Bob commented.

"Wait, we have to conceive a kid before we leave?" Ryuko asked.

"This is so awesome Ryuko! We can both be mommies just like Nonon!" Nui cheered, "Isn't this great!?"

"Uh… sure," Ryuko somewhat lied. This was too sudden for her.

"Nonon, you get gifts too," Bob announced as he tossed her baby-sized 'Music Baby' T-shirts and a scrapbook. She sighed at the shirts and flipped through the scrapbook to see it was just pictures of all the times she either looked like, acted like, or was a baby, which was a lot.

"I hate you so much," Nonon sighed.

"They are also indestructible, so you can't burn them," Bob noted, "Ryuko and Satsuki, after this is over, do something sappy to signify your bond as sisters. Consider this dare homework too. Now for Ac's dares!"

"Saving the best for last," Nonon snarked.

"Hey, Ac gave Nui mortality. He's not all bad. First of all, he's allowing for Satsuki's talking vagina to become a separate entity. I'll just take her and the magic lamp and… fuck it… I'll murder them both," Bob snapped his fingers and Satsuki was cured.

"Thank God," Satsuki breathed a sigh of relief.

Bob snapped his fingers again, this time breaking them off, and Mako's belly began to swell up. She vomited on the floor, dropped to the ground and cried in pain.

"What are you doing?" Gamagori demanded. Just as he asked, he felt a 'release'... if you will.

"Making you two parents," Bob answered.

"I'm having a baby!" Mako cried. It was hard to tell if the crying was from the pains of pregnancy being condensed into a few minutes or if she was just happy.

"Kimura! You have another delivery to make!" Bob shouted.

"Oh come on!" Kimura shouted from down the halls.

* * *

After the hysterics of the sudden onset pregnancy and delivery, Mako gave birth to a ten pound baby. Despite the overwhelming pains, the difficulty pushing, and the sudden surprise, Mako was happy to have a little (well, maybe not so little) boy.

"He's so adorable," Mako said while breastfeeding the boy.

"Did the previous hour bother you at all?" Ryuko asked.

"Well, it was very painfully. And it was really hard to squeeze little Taichi out, but it was worth it," Mako answered.

"You… already named him," Gamagori asked.

"Do you not like it?" Mako asked.

"No it's fine… just… I wasn't really expecting this to happen… this way,"

"Welcome to the Father's Club," Hoka congratulated.

"Have any advice?" Gamagori asked.

"Not really," Nonon answered, "We've kinda just been winging it,"

"So Ira," Mako called.

"What is it Mako?"

"When are you going to marry me? We already have a kid together and I'm sure my dad will give you his blessing,"

Hoka chuckled at this exchange. Then, Nonon realized that she hadn't been asked the question either.

"So, Mr. Family Man, when are we getting hitched?" Nonon asked.

"Uh… um… whenever leave," Hoka responded.

"Good idea!" Gamagori agreed as he overheard their conversation, "We wouldn't want to be married in a place like this,"

"Why not, I think Satsuki's house is nice," Mako responded.

"That's… not what I meant,"

Bob pulled Ryuko and Nui off to the side to explain their final dare.

"Okay, so before the night is over, you two must have sex with each other for three hours straight,"

"Oh my," Nui breathed.

"So, we aren't leaving immediately after the session?" Ryuko asked.

"No, you two gotta do the do,"

"Well, if we need to make a baby," Nui started. She held up the box containing her present, "Do you wanna wear my present?"

"Nui, for a woman who can only remember the last three months of your life, you are the most perverted woman I have ever met," Ryuko stated.

"But I've been here for the past three months," Nui rebutted.

"Touche," Ryuko agreed.

"Alright everyone, gather around for the final dare!" Bob announced. He pulled out the notecard and read from it, "Everyone! Get… revenge on Bob and Ted… fuck…,"

"I can see why Ted didn't want to be included," Uzu remarked.

"You made a deal with that asshole!" Bob shouted, "Fuck y-," Ryuko threw the first punch and every able bodied person went into beat the shit out of Bob. His powers were disabled and all he could do was hope that the cloned Ryuko body would give up and allow him to die. After they were through, the host body was merely a shattered husk. The green glow from Bob's soul had disappeared and formed into a ghost behind the cast.

"You know what, Ac's final dare was to make you all forget what happened here," Bob announced, "But fuck that! And fuck you guys! I'm going to go chill with the demons in Super Hell. If anyone leaves the manor before noon tomorrow, you're going to join me," As he finished, his ghost dissipated.

When Bob left, the cast cheered. It was finally over. After a good night's rest and a decent breakfast, this will all be behind them.

* * *

Ryuko and Nui had just finished their three hour marathon. They were both tired and ready to sleep in until just before noon. Ryuko was especially worn out. Apparently using the strap-on had some side-effects, drowsiness after completion was one of them. The two were under the covers and spending the few minutes they had before they inevitably drifted off to sleep to talk about their futures.

"So, what jobs are we going to have when we leave?" Nui yawned.

"I don't know," Ryuko responded, "I was thinking that you'd stay home with the kid until he or she's in school. As for me, I seem to be pretty tough even without life-fibers. I was thinking about a job where I could use that to my advantage,"

"Don't tell me you're going into Women's MMA," Nui replied.

"Nah, although I could beat all those bitches. I was thinking something like... I don't know… a firefighter?"

"Oh my god, that's so hot! No pun intended,"

"I guess I'll do that then. What do you want to do after the kid's in school?" Ryuko asked.

"I don't know what jobs I'd be good at. The only thing I know I'm good at is sewing, but that doesn't make much money,"

"If you don't know, don't worry about it," Ryuko assured, "You have plenty of time to decide,"

Just then, they heard a knock at their door. Ryuko got up, draped the blanket over herself and cracked the door open. She peeked outside to see that no one was there. She looked down both ends of the hall and as she went to close the door, she noticed a basket just outside of the doorway. She opened the door and saw that a baby was sleeping in the basket.

"A baby? I thought we just had to magically conceive it,"

"A baby! Can we keep it?" Nui begged.

"Nui, we haven't even had the first one!"

"So. This is our first one now!"

Ryuko sighed. There was no convincing her. "Okay, we can keep it. Until we find the real parents. And you are also in charge of all the diapers for both babies,"

"Deal!"

"Oh, you have much to learn," Ryuko said as she carried the basket into the room.

* * *

About an hour earlier, Mataro was getting ready for Nui Harime's delivery. He had spent the last two weeks looking up as much info as he could online as to how to do this. He pulled up a Youtube video of the procedure, got out some blankets and pillows, and other necessary supplies.

"Do you really think you can do this?" Nui asked him.

"I don't know, but my dad's a back-alley doctor, I'll try my best,"

"Alright then," Nui scoffed. She hadn't expected him to keep his composure this long. He was about to perform a baby delivery with instructions from Youtube. Clearly he was desperate to keep things under wraps, it looked as though her plan was failing.

It was a unique experience for the both of them. After some time, Nui Harime gave birth to a healthy-looking baby boy. She didn't really care much for the child, but as Mataro was cleaning the baby up and wrapping him in a blanket, he couldn't help but to tear up. This was a life he created, this was his child. As much of a scumbag as he thought he was for doing everything he'd done, this boy sparked something within him that made him want to be better.

Yet, at the same time, he couldn't keep him. If everyone found out, he'd be ostracized. So he took the baby and left the room. He decided to leave the baby in a basket in front of Ryuko's room. As he began to knock on the door, he was in tears. Even though he was leaving the boy to trusted family and friends, he still felt as though he was abandoning him. He knocked on the door and immediately ran off.

* * *

As Mataro was out abandoning his son, Nui Harime was left alone in his room. She didn't know what was happening to the baby, she didn't know what had happened in the past month or so, she didn't even know the game was going to end tomorrow. She was completely in the dark. Just as she was beginning to think all hope was lost, CrazyMetamorph appeared before her once more.

"So, I'm guessing your plan isn't working like you wanted it to?" The dark figure asked.

"Shut up!" Nui snapped.

"I have an offer for you. Actually, I have a few options. You can merge with the other Nui. This is honestly your best option since you get to experience the life you could of had just as she is,"

"I pass, what else? Is there any option that allows me to be with Lady Ragyo?"

"Ragyo is currently cleaning toilets at Taco Bell at minimum wage. You can be her coworker, but you'll lose all your memories. Also, do you know what Taco Bell does to a person's digestive system?"

"I've heard and I can't believe that that has happened to her. What else do you have?"

"Honestly, you can continue being Mataro's sex slave. If you're that much of a masochist,"

Nui sighed. She stabbed herself in the chest with her hand and pulled out her heart.

"Well, I guess this is it," Nui cried, "I have nothing to live for,"

"But what about-,"

"I don't want to clean toilets! I don't want to be with that stupid fake me! I'd rather die!" She slammed her heart against the wall. After a few seconds, she turned into life-fiber strands. Mataro happened to walk in seeing this happen. CrazyMetamorph was standing by. Mataro broke down in tears and cried his eyes out.

"I gave her a few options to live on, but she'd rather die," CrazyMetamorph told him.

"I… I'm a horrible person!" Mataro cried.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm the one who kinda gave you Nui Harime so it's not entirely your fault,"

"It's all on me," Mataro admitted, "If I was better, I wouldn't have gotten myself in this situation in the first place. I have to atone for what I've done somehow. This guilt is eating me up from the inside!"

"Sadly, that isn't really my problem. Good luck, hopefully you find closure or something," The dark figure faded away, leaving Mataro to think about his life choices.

* * *

The next day was filled with excitement. The cast was counting down the minutes until they are able to leave the manor. Ted was handing out books to everyone. As Ryuko got her's, she read the title.

"Mister InsaneGuy's Truth or Dare: Kill la Kill Edition Official Transcript… Uncensored," Ryuko read, "Does that mean all of the sex we've had is in this book too?"

"Yeah, that's actually a good chunk of the book to be honest," Ted answered.

"I know what I'm reading tonight!" Nui exclaimed.

"Not if the baby wakes you up… speaking of which, what the hell is up with this baby we got last night?"

"About that… you see. That baby wasn't a dare at all. It was a consequence from… someone else," Ted explained, "As for you two, the three hour marathon was supposed to make one of you conceive without the aid of any magic strap-ons. The fact that you used one means…,"

"We're both pregnant!" Ryuko shouted.

"...Yeah… sorry Bob didn't tell you. He's a bit of an ass, obviously,"

"I take back that promise, I'm going to kick your-,"

"C'mon Ryuko, It'll be fun," Nui said while hugging her.

"What part of nine months of hell sounds fun to you?"

"Well, nothing if you put it that way,"

"What about our plans? We can't just stay at Mako's house,"

"You two are always welcome," Sukuyo mentioned, "It's not like we still live in the slums. Sure it'll be a little cramped but we can make things work. Besides, I want to see my little grandbabies!"

"I don't think Taichi counts as little," Ryuko commented.

"Actually mom," Mako spoke up, "I'm going to go live with Ira,"

"But Mako-,"

"I'm sorry. I'll be sure to visit all the time. We aren't that far away,"

Her parents went to give her a big hug.

"Our little girl grew up so fast!" Barazo cried.

"I can't bear to watch her leave!" Sukuyo cried.

"Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Mankanshoku," Gamagori butted in, "Mako and Taichi are in good hands,"

"Thank you Ira!" Sukuyo thanked.

"Thanks, but when are you going to marry my daughter," Barazo asked, "C'mon, you've been with her this entire time and not once have I heard you mention marriage,"

"I suppose we'll go to the courthouse later this afternoon if it's such an urgent matter," Gamagori stated.

"We're going too," Nonon chimed in while raising Hoka's hand.

While all of this was going on, Mataro was nervously flipping through the book that he was handed. As he reached the end, he saw the pages that revealed his secrets. Everything he was trying to cover up had been revealed in the final chapters of the book. He reached the end and noticed the personalized message at the bottom.

 **Hey Mataro, Ted here! You are sooooooo fucked man. After all you did to hide the evidence of your horrible acts, it's all found out because Ac wanted everyone to have a copy of this book. What now kid? I suspect that you only have a matter of time before everyone else gets curious and starts flipping through their copies. I'd recommend fessing up and owning your fuck ups now, but we both know you won't do that. Well, whatever you do next, I suppose I wish you luck.**

Ted looked to his watch and as the clock struck noon, the game was finally over. "You are all free," Ted announced, "You may do as you please," Everyone ran out of the manor's gate as fast as possible, leaving only Satsuki, Uzu, Mitsuzo, Junketsu, and Isshin (who had been transformed back into a young man).

"By the way Satsuki," Ted continued, "We're still going to be using your mansion. I hope you don't mind,"

"I do mind," Satsuki protested, "I want you all out!"

"I figured you say that. Follow me,"

Ted led Satsuki and Uzu to the room where the Primordial Life-Fiber used to be stored. Inside the room, there was an entire indoor marijuana farm.

"I hope this will be enough compensation," Ted said.

"...As much as I'd hate to admit it. You certainly know how to appease me. Fine. You can use the manor. Uzu, help me out with this, will you?"

"You mean smoke it… I… I hadn't done this since middle school,"

* * *

Ryuko finished taking a shower at the Mankanshoku house. She walked into her room to find Nui curled up under the covers, reading her copy of the book and quietly moaning to herself.

"You're looking at those sex chapters aren't you?" Ryuko sighed.

"I'm reading about the first time we made love," Nui beamed, "You were so passionate yet wild when you were on meth. Not that I'd ever want you to do it again,"

"And I won't," Ryuko said, "Just like I won't read that stupid book,"

"C'mon Ryuko, there's some good stuff in there,"

"Besides the parts where you have sex?"

"Well, I haven't gotten that far," Nui admitted, "But it's worth keeping if only because of that,"

Ryuko sighed as she flipped through her copy of the book. She skimmed the pages.

"I see the time I had sex with Mako and Gamagori,"

"You mean Mr. and Mrs. Gamagori," Nui corrected, "And please don't elaborate what you've done with my sister and my brother-in-law,"

"Don't worry, I don't masturbate every time I read something that turns me on, which you are still doing by the way,"

"But it's a good part of the story,"

"There is no plot to this book at all," Ryuko complained as she flipped through the pages some more. She eventually noticed Mataro's name mentioned a lot and curiosity got the best of her. She read over what he had done to Nui Harime and while she hated that version of Nui, she couldn't stand the thought of Mataro being the sick fuck that he was.

"What's wrong Ryuko?" Nui asked, noticing she was rather ticked off at what she was reading.

"Your brother is worse than I thought!" Ryuko grabbed her scissors and stepped out of the room, wearing only a towel. Senketsu was getting ready to brush his teeth as Ryuko went to Mataro's door.

"What did Mataro do this time?" Senketsu sighed.

"Read the last few chapters of that damn book and see for yourself! He's a fucking creep!" Ryuko kicked the door open, but Mataro was nowhere to be found. His room was a wreck. It looked as though he packed up anything of importance and left in a hurry. The window was open as well. Nui eventually flipped to where Ryuko left off in the book and was sickened by it. She followed behind Ryuko, who had found a note from Mataro.

 **If you are reading this, you probably know what I've done and I've already left. There is nothing I can do to make up for what I've done. I know that. When I laid eyes on that boy, my son, I realized that I'm a miserable little shit. I can't raise this boy to be the best he can be because I'm not. Ryuko, Nui, I'm sorry to ask this of you, but please take care of him. Don't hold my actions against him, he didn't do anything.**

"Oh my God," Ryuko sighed, "This is so fucked up. I thought I was done with this. Are you okay Nui?"

"I'm fine, personally. But I don't really know how to feel," Nui answered, "I still want the baby though,"

"Even after all that?"

"He's technically mine," Nui teared up, "What else should we do?"

"You're right Nui," Ryuko admitted, "I'm just so pissed at that kid though,"

"I'm not happy either, but we can correct any mistakes with Kiyoshi,"

"You're too optimistic Nui,"

"And you're so negative, it evens out,"

"I suppose...but if I ever see that fucker again I beat his ass!"

"I might join you, but try not to stress too much, it's not good for the baby,"

"The baby's should be asleep in… oh...I forgot… we're pregnant,"

"How do you forget?" Senketsu asked as he was brushing his teeth.

 **Hey everyone, Ted here! Oh my God, I am finally done. I'm a little buzzed, tired, and I have to wake up for work earlier than I am willing to admit, but I am done. I'll make an aftermath chapter for these guys later, but that'll be more of a side thing that I work on. For now, I just want to focus on my other story. By the way, if you want to see the continued adventures of Bob and Ted's Truth or Dare Game. The Assassination Classroom ToD is showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this. Thank you for your continued support!**


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